I do not own Gossip Girl or any of the characters. Neither do I own the Airborne Toxic Event or the amazing song "Sometime Around Midnight" which inspired me to write this piece.
Background information: Everything on Gossip Girl happened up until 2.24. Blair never finds out Chuck loves her and she goes on thinking she was just a game to Chuck. Therefore, she is still with Nate. Chuck still loves Blair, but still believes he could not make her happy. This is based a couple years into the future. Expect flashbacks.
And it starts...
sometime around midnight
or at least that's when
you lose yourself
for a minute or two
The old fashion grandfather clock in the corner of the club hit midnight, but no one paid any attention. Dancers in burlesque fashion rhythmically swayed to the pounding music while displaying their assets for the world to see. The club was packed and the numerous bodies which made the atmosphere thick with the smell of sweat. It was a hot summer night and the air conditioning did not make up for the amount of people at Victrola.
This was a place for people to lose themselves in the moment and forget their own troubles. This was the mantra that the owner Chuck Bass preached. It was to be a respectable place where people can be transported to another time, feel free to let loose. No judgments, pure escape. What happens at Victrola, stays at Victrola. Everyone was busy with their own meaningless lives so no one would witness the drama that would unfold, except for the mysterious Gossip Girl.
Under the bar lights
and the band plays some song
about forgetting yourself for a while
and the piano's this melancholy sound check
to her smile
In the corner of the club stood Chuck Bass accompanied by a group of scantily dressed women vying for his attention. Chuck stood bored with his surroundings. His pale skin practically glowed under the bar lighting and he tried unsuccessfully to ignore the music.
Chuck was upset with the music choice. It was their song. He thought he had told Anthony that this song was never to be played while he was in the club. The area where his heart was rumored to be began to throb with every caress of the piano keys. I am going to fucking fire Anthony for this, thought Chuck. The song brought back painful memories for him and he tried unsuccessful to stop the memories, but they would not be quenched.
"Chuck!" cried Blair from her bathroom. Chuck was lounged on her bed dozing and waiting patiently as she applied make-up. He was so sleepy; they had just spent the whole night before hand in the throes of passion. They were finally together after all the drama that was the eleventh grade and Chuck had finally closed his eyes when Blair called for him.
He opened his eyes and realized that Blair was right in front of him, staring at him with a smile. She tilted her head and all he could think was that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He smiled broadly and grabbed her shoulders and kissed her. She was shocked and therefore, it was easy for Chuck to position her under himself. He kissed her lips chastely and sweetly, then proceeded to press butterfly kisses all over her throat. Chuck did not know why he was being so unlike himself, romantic even, but he continued to kiss her until she began to giggle.
"Chuuuckkk! What bought this on?"
The bodacious red head to the right of Chuck began to grope his chest in an effort to gain his attention. But Chuck was not amused by this and swatted away her hand. Irritated, he gave her a menacing look and in response she started topout. Chuck turned away from her, but not before he glimpsed a smile that he could never quite get out of his head.
And that white dress she's wearing
you haven't seen her
for a while
She was there. He could not believe she was there. It was like a dream. With his eyes trained on her Chuck's world began to drift away. All he saw was Blair in that dress that he had bought for her during that short week before he left her in Tuscany. The white dress was slinky and made of silk and lace. It was conservative, but at the same time sexy. It was by definition made to be worn by Blair Waldorf. His mouth began to dry and he picked up his glass of scotch to drink. He barely felt the scotch go down. All he could think about was the dress.
"Chuck! You know you love to shop, but do you honestly think no one is going to care that you are in the dressing room with me?"
"I don't care what they think." He said seductively, "I spend enough money here on bow ties that I think they can over look a couple of my fetishes."
Then Chuck leaned over and nuzzled Blair's throat. She giggled and tried to push him away, but he would not be denied. He merely went back to nibbling on her earlobes.
"You are heinous!" She said in between kisses.
"But that is what you like about me." He could feel her smile as she leaned on him. There were in a middle of a dressing room just standing and kissing. It was so unlike themselves that it made him smile reluctantly. He was content just holding her.
It was then that Chuck glanced at the mirror. Behind them he saw a white dress. His first thought was that it was utterly perfect; it screamed Blair Waldorf at him.
"I want you to try on that." He said.
Blair turned around to look at what Chuck was gesturing at and saw the most beautiful dress. "Oh my goodness!" she exclaimed and began to run her hand down the material.
"Show me." Chuck whispered into her ear and began to unzip her dress. The dress then fell to the floor and Blair stood in her bra and panties. Chuck was appreciating the view when Blair turned to him and began to push him down on the bench.
"Sit," she commanded while slowly and seductively going to the dress.
Chuck stood in a daze. Blair Waldorf was in his club and in his dress that he had bought for her! He could not believe his eyes. Chuck blinked a couple of times just to make sure he was not seeing things.
But you know...
that she's watching
She's laughing, she's turning
she's holding her tonic like a cross
He was not dreaming or hallucinating. Blair Waldorf was in Victrola. She was even looking slyly at Chuck while swaying to their song. But as soon as Chuck made eye contact with her she moved to face her admirers. Blair was standing in the mists of at least a dozen men. They were swarming to her like bees. She was twirling around and giggling and for a moment Chuck thought that she was trying to imitate Serena.
He began to walk towards her, but then he saw the look, that meant stay away. Not only was Blair's glare keeping Chuck away, but she was using her glass of tonic as a shield. And he had only seen her do that once before. Chuck knew what it meant.
Blair was pissed off and Chuck could tell. She was standing next to Serena and Nate and progressively she was moving backwards. Chuck had been observing her for a while and he could tell she did not want to be at this party.
Her hand was clutching her glass so hard that her fingers were turning white and she was holding the glass as if it could exercise all of her demons. They were only twelve, but it was obvious, at least to Chuck that Blair was about to explode. Serena and Nate merely stood oblivious to Blair's impending breakdown.
He began to walk towards Blair when she looked straight at him. The pained look in her eyes made him stop in his tracks. She did not want him to come to her, she would come to him.
So Chuck turned and wandered to a dark corner so Blair would follow. It only took ten minutes for Blair to extract herself from her best friend and boyfriend.
"What's wrong, Waldorf?" asked Chuck.
Blair might have come to him, but that did not mean that she was going to easily confine in him. "There is nothing wrong." Blair said.
"C'mon, I am not Nathaniel. I can tell something is wrong. Spill it."
She looked at him and bit her lip and it took Chuck everything in him to look away from the tantalizing sight. She had such red lips that it always made Chuck wonder if they tasted as juicy as they looked.
Chuck glanced back at her one more time and she broke. A single tear rolled down her porcelain cheek. Startled, Chuck just stared. He watched as Blair hesitantly spoke, "Mother and daddy were fighting today… and he just left for London."
She just stood there in the dark corner rocking back and forth. Chuck did not know what to do. He had never had the problem of parents fighting. And he did not have comforting words to reassure her that everything would be alright. Instead, only one thought came into his head. She needed something to wipe her tears. Frantically, Chuck searched his pocket but found nothing.
Chuck looked down at himself and found only one thing he could give her. Reluctantly he untied his favorite pink bowtie and handed it to her. Blair looked at Chuck as if he was crazy.
"What is this for?" She asked. Even crying she was a regal queen.
Blushing, Chuck tried to grab it back, but she would not let him. "Well?" asked Blair.
With a sneer Chuck said, "You can use it to wipe your tears, princess". He then looked away from her embarrassed. That is why I am not the white knight, though Chuck bitterly.
He could hear her giggling and he decided that this was the stupidest thing he had ever done. Chuck turned to leave when Blair grabbed his arm, waited till he turned to her and said, "Chuck that was the sweetest thing you have ever done for me."
Chuck looked into her eyes and realized she had stopped crying. Smirking Chuck replied, "Now do you want the rest of my clothing off now or later tonight in my suite".
A spark lighted up in Blair eyes and she said, "You are disgusting!"
Chuck's glaze never left her body. She was ignoring him and he could not believe that she would act this way after everything she had done. But then she turned and he knew she would come to him.
The room suddenly spinning
she walks up and asks how you are
so you can smell her perfume
you can see her lying naked in your arms
Chuck felt the butterflies swarm frantically back into his belly. His whole world began to sway as he saw her walk towards him. Her brown eyes were zoned in on him and he never felt more naked in his whole life. With every footstep Chuck could feel his heart lurch until she was a breath away from him.
He could see her beautiful neck and longed to brush back the strains of curls that fell forward.
"Hello Chuck. How are you?" She asked it not hesitantly as she should, but as the queen that she would always be.
It was then that Chuck felt the rush of her perfume. It was the same one that she had always worn. The same smell that haunted him.
They were both naked. The sheets had been kicked off during their frantic lovemaking. Instead of cuddling as two lovers should they were laying next to one another not touching. The sweat was setting on their bodies as they both breathed strongly.
Then Blair rolled off the bed and stood looking for her panties. Chuck watched her as she gathered her clothing. He knew what she was going to say. It was always the same thing.
"This was a mistake."
Chuck no longer flinched when she said this anymore. He still felt the stab of a rusty nail through his heart, but he no longer flinched outwardly.
"You disgust me."
He stopped trying to touch her after sex. After the first time when he made the mistake of thinking they were together. He had this diluted fantasy that she would leave him and finally love Chuck. She instead pushed him away. Chuck would never forget the look of complete hatred and utter revulsion that painted her beautiful face. He never made that mistake again.
"Why can't you just leave me alone?"
Chuck could not understand this anymore than Blair could. It was not his fault that he was a part of Blair's life. She was engaged to his best friend. And it was not only that, he was in love with her. He had been since the 11th grade.
She blamed him for every one of their nights, but it was not only him. He tried to stop them. He did not want to hurt anymore. And all Blair did was hurt him now. Chuck tried to avoid all situations in which they would be alone together.
She would come to him though. Always when she fought with Nate she would come to his suite. Stupidly, he would always open the door and it would happen all over again.
She was fully dressed now. She put her headband perfectly on her head and glanced at Chuck who was still lying naked on the bed. He did not find the need to cover up. She looked up his body. First with disgust, then slowly the look turned into desire. But then the wall came up.
"This is the last time."
And with that she turned and left, never looking back. And for once Chuck believed her. He was stuck in his own living hell with a suite that smelled of her perfume. Tomorrow she would be marrying his best friend.
"What do you want Blair?" Chuck asked resentfully.
Undaunted, Blair smiled seductively and whispered into his ear, "You."
And so there's a change...
in your emotions
and all of these memories come rushing
like feral waves to your mind
of the curl of your bodies
like two perfect circles entwined
and you feel hopeless, and homeless
and lost in the haze
of the wine
Chuck's heart started to throb. He felt her lips trail down his throat. All he could see was her.
"I now pronounce you man and wife! To the world you are now Mr. and Mrs. Nathaniel Archibald!"
She was a vision in her wedding dress. The most gorgeous sight he had ever seen. She was glowing. No one could take her spot light. She now had the coveted Archibald ring on her delicate finger. Blair had all her dreams come true. She had the white knight with the fairy tale ending.
Chuck watched as the love of his life and his best friend walked down the aisle. He wished he was the one walking down the aisle with Blair. The thing that really killed him was he could have been the man next to her. But Blair's happiness meant more to him than his own.
"Last fall you said we couldn't be together, and I believed you. But every time I try to move on, you're right there, acting like…"
"Acting like what?"
"Like...maybe you want me to be as unhappy as you are."
"I would never wish that on anyone. I want you to be happy."
"Then look down deep, into the soul I know you have, and tell me if what you feel for me is real, or if it's just a game. If it's real, we'll figure it out...all of us. But if it's not, then please Chuck, just let me go."
"It's just a game. I hate to lose. You're free to go."
"Thank you."
When Serena had come, he could not feel anything in his body, he was dead. Chuck Bass was not meant to be happy.
"Chuck, why did you just do that?"
"Because I love her and I can't make her happy."
The words swirled around Chuck's head and at that moment he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he had been wrong. He could make her happy and he had blown it. She was married now and she hated him. There would be no redemption. It would always be Nate and Blair and never Chuck and Blair. The loss was so enormous that he fell to his knees.
Chuck stepped back and looked straight into Blair's eyes. He had not seen her in three months. After she married Nathaniel he had ran away to Monaco. And there he binged on alcohol, drugs and women. That still did not help him.
Whenever he closed his eyes all he saw was her face. He would enter a room and smell her perfume. The smell would linger only for a moment and then it would slowly fade away. Some days he would just stay in bed so that he would not have to face his existence without Blair.
He was sad and pathetic. But just to make sure he was not delusional Chuck caresses Blair cheek with his finger. At first he is terrified that she was about to disappear and he would realize he was still in that hotel room in Monaco dreaming of her. But when she does not disappear he sighs and closes his eyes, relieved.
And she leaves...
with someone you don't know
but she makes sure you saw her
she looks right at you and bolts
As she walks out the door
your blood boiling
your stomach in ropes
and when your friends say what is it
you look like you've seen a ghost
When Chuck opened his eyes Blair was no longer in front of him, but rather grasping on to the arm of a random blond man. He knows she wants him to follow because he sees her look at him. She is playing a game and for once Chuck has not clue about the rules.
All he sees is her fondling a man and leaving with him. For a moment Chuck sees red. He begins to tremble with rage and he is afraid to follow her.
But then that same red head touched his shoulder. "Are you okay? You turned so pale. It is like you saw a ghost or something…"
Chuck ignored her. He can see nothing, but he feels anger so hot that he feels as if he will explode.
"What the fuck do you expect from me?"Chuck bellowed.
"I do not expect anything from you Chuck," Blair shrilled, "I just thought you would like to know that I am marrying Nate!"'
There was a strained pause.
"Why would I care?"The bitterness would not leave his voice.
"You are his best friend and we want you in the wedding."She said it as if it were the most logical thing in the world.
Another pause, this time Blair could hear the heavy uneven breathing.
"So you want me to pretend that I am not fucking you behind his back?"Chuck could hear her gasp of shock. There was silence on the line, than Blair said, "I do not know what you are referring to."
The denial made Chuck see red. He could not believe she would deny it. Blair Waldorf was many things but she was not a liar. It was then that Chuck realized in Blair's mind he meant so little that she could write him off as a deleted scene. He was something that happened in her movie of her life, but in the end she could delete him as if it were so insignificant it did not matter.
If she wanted to ruin his dreams, Chuck could ruin hers.
"Go ahead marry Nate. But you should know he is not the prince you think he is. He has been fucking Vanessa for a while now behind your back." As soon as it left his mouth he knew he should not have said it. But it was too late. Before he could say anything more she hung up the phone.
He started to walk towards the door, but not before he grabbed another scotch and chugged it down. He needed the artificial confidence the scotch would bring to him. Chuck left Victrola and stood outside looking around.
And you walk...
under the streetlights
and you're too drunk to notice
that everyone is staring at you
and you so care what you look like
the world is falling
around you
He knew where she was at. He might be drunk looking like a psychotic Patrick Bateman running around New York City, but he knew exactly where she would be. He saw flashes of camera go off as he walked the streets, but Chuck did not even care.
The man she left with was nothing but a prop to get Chuck to come after her. He realized that now. Yet he did not understand what any of this had to do with them. She was with Nathaniel and he was alone. However he could not get the voice out of his head that said,
You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her and you know that she'll break you in two
He knew seeing her was going to hurt and yet, Chuck still walked into the lobby of his hotel and asked the elevator attendant to go to the 18th floor. As the elevator went up Chuck's heart lurched in fear.
What did she want? Would they resume their old affair? Did she and Nate get into a fight? Was she pregnant? All these thoughts swarmed his brain. Finally the elevator opened and he walked down the hall to room 1812.
He unlocked the door and saw Blair lounging on his bed. He knew she would be there.
"What do you want?" Chuck asked tiredly. He felt as if he were ninety instead of his twenty-four years of age.
He saw her smile, "I told you. I want you." Blair then let her white dress fall off her shoulders. She stood there in her white lingerie and stockings.
Chuck let out a burst of air. He could not look away. She slowly slinked towards him and began to move her hair away from her neck. His eyes zoomed to his kryptonite. She came to Chuck and started to nibble on his jaw. Involuntarily his arms wrapped around her. But then she stopped and he realized that he was shaking.
"What's wrong?" Blair asked.
Chuck shook his head to clear it and untangled himself from her.
His voice was shaky but passionate, "Why are you here?"
For a moment she looked ashamed. Then she showed Chuck her ring less left hand. "Nate and I are going to get a divorce."
Chuck's heart plummeted. Of course she would only come to him because Nate had rejected her. He could not believe he had actually thought she had wanted him for himself.
Chuck turned away and said, "Please go."
For a moment Blair looked shocked, but than a smile lit her face. "Don't you want to know why?" She asked.
"Not really." Chuck answered. He really was tired of all this drama.
"I think you do." Blair insisted.
Sadly, Chuck looked into Blair's eyes. "Why?"
"I left Nate," she said strongly, "Because I love you."
For a moment Chuck could not believe his ears. He watched her as she walked toward him. Then he realized what she had said. Chuck grabbed her and crushed her to his body. They began to kiss and tears fell between the two. Neither could tell where they came from.
In between kisses Chuck whispered, "I love you". Blair smiled up to him and said, "I love you so much."
Blair led them to the bed and they expressed their love for one another. Afterwards, they both lay in each other's embrace. It was lovely moment; they both looked into each other's eyes and promised the world. But now it was confession time.
"I want you to know all those years ago when I told you that it were just a game, I lied." Chuck confessed.
Blair smiled, "I know. I just found out today." At Chuck's confused look she went on, "I talked to Serena earlier. I have been so depressed. I knew I made a mistake marrying Nate. I told him last week we had to divorce. He does not love me and I have loved you so long… Serena told me that you let me go all those years ago because you thought you could not make me happy. But you are wrong. I cannot be happy without you."
Chuck hugged her as if he never wanted to let her go, "I love you." He did not know how to express his feeling any other way then to say that he loved her. In a way it explained everything to her.
"You were never a mistake. I just wanted you to feel as awful as I felt when I though you did not love me." Blair confessed.
"I do not care about that anymore," Chuck said, "All I care about is that you and I are together, as it should have been."
All the mistakes of the past melted away. They were just Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck.
"After the divorce, I want you to marry me Blair."
"Is that a request or command, Bass?" Blair asked.
"You will marry me Blair Waldorf and show me all your sexy lingerie." Chuck purred into her ear.
"Oh am I? Where is my ring?"
"So greedy. Don't worry you will get one. You are going to marry me. But first I think you need to put those heals back on so we can have some fun…"
"You're disgusting!" Squealed Blair.
"That is why you love me."
N/A: This was my first ever finished piece. Constructive criticism would be lovely. This was not beta at all so therefore, I am so sorry for all the errors. I hope that they did not detract from the whole piece. Thanks.