Disclaimer: Marvel Comics never gave me permission to use their characters. But, I'm not gonna listen, so thheeree! I'm breaking the law and I don't caaarrree... c'mon everyone, sing along!
Note: This is my first fic to use a real celebrity, so it'll probably make less sense than my usual stories (which is really saying something).
THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME CHAPTER ONE
Jean Grey sat nervously in a metal chair. She still couldn't believe she'd agreed to do this. She kept telling herself that it was okay, it was all for charity, but she was still fairly certain she'd made a bad decision.
"Are you ready, Jean?" asked Principal Kelly.
"I think so." Jean lied.
"Great! Now remember to do a good job because we need this money to pay for repairing the gym.. again.." Kelly twitched involuntarily. He recovered and added, "Make sure nothing upsets our host. I told Mr. Woolery that Bayville was a nice, normal community."
Jean gulped. Now she was SURE she'd made a bad decision. "I'll uh, do my best, sir." she said in what she hoped was a reassuring tone of voice. Judging by Kelly's expression, it wasn't.
Luckily for her, at that moment a stage hand poked his head into the dressing room. "You're on in 5 minutes." he said. Jean took a deep breath and followed him towards the stage to wait for her cue.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm Chuck Woolery, host of 'The Dating Game' and we're coming to you live from Bayville, Massachusetts. Today we're going to match up one of our local citizens with her dream date. Here she comes right now, so everyone give a big round of applause for the lovely Jean Grey!" Mr. Woolery called by way of introduction.
Jean stepped onto the stage, smiling weakly. "Hello, everyone." she said. As she headed towards Mr. Woolery she stumbled a little. 'Way to go, Jean.' she thought bitterly, 'Now no one can tell you're worried'.
"There you are Jean. All set to play our little game?" Mr. Woolery grinned.
"You bet." Jean forced herself to smile back as she sat down in a heart-shaped chair.
"Now you know the rules of course Jean, but for all you folks out there in TV land who have just tuned in, this game is very simple. You see that curtain over there?" Mr. Woolery gestured to a large red curtain. "Behind it are 3 eligible bachelors all dying to date Miss Grey."
"No we're not, yo!" yelled a voice.
"Shut up, slimey! Jean won't choose you anyway!" yelled another voice.
"She's not gonna choose you either, Glasses Boy!" hollered a third voice.
"Wow. What an original insult. You jocks are WAY too smart for me!" sneered the second voice.
"That's it! Don't make me come over there, Four-Eyes!" the third voice fumed.
"Bring it on!" taunted the second voice.
"Yo, this is getting good." laughed the first voice.
"SHUT UP!" chorused the second and third voices.
"Anyway," Mr. Woolery continued "Jean will ask these young men a series of questions and based on their responses, she will chose one man to go with her on all-expenses paid dinner at Maison Printemps."
"Woo hoo! Free food! Now that's what I'm talking about, yo!" cheered the first voice.
"Bring me back a doggy bag, buddy!" boomed a fat man in the front row.
"You got it, Freddy!" laughed the first voice.
"What makes you think you're gonna win?" demanded the second voice.
"Animal magnetism, yo." the first voice explained.
"The only thing you attract is flies!" the second voice jeered.
"That's better than nothing!" hissed the first voice.
"Is not!" yelled the second voice.
"Is too!" yelled the first voice.
"Man, you guys are such losers. I'll win this thing, no sweat." laughed the third voice.
"Over my dead body!" roared the second voice.
"That can be arranged!" snarled the third voice.
"Oh yeah?" snapped the second voice.
"Yeah!" yelled the third voice.
"Boys, boys. Now, I know you're all eager for Jean to begin playing 'The Dating Game' but before she does, we'll need to hear from yesterday's contestant Mr. Lance Alvers and his dream date, Kitty Pryde." Mr. Woolery said. "They'll be here right after the break."
"Yeah, cuz I'm gonna break his bones when I tackle him!" yelled the third voice.
"I'd like to see you try!" snapped the second voice.
"It'll be the last thing you see, Shades!" replied the third voice.
Mr. Woolery sighed. "A nice normal community.. That's what he told me.. Hah! If this is normal, then I'm Alex Trebek!"