Singing Stars
Summary: A new female lieutenant and Spock accidentally enter into a telepathic link which disrupts Spock's life consideralbly. Rating M for Spock romantic entanglement.
This story is based right after the last episode of The Original Series. Who knows what Stardate is is? I don't know. I certainly didn't make a date for it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Spock, or Kirk - but how I wish I did. I do not own Chekov or Sulu - I would have them read to me for hours. I do not own Scotty who I would drink and make merry with. I do not own McCoy though I dearly wish he was my own special doctor, and of course I don't own Uhura but I wish I looked just like her. Most gorgeous girl of Star Trek. I also do not own the Enterprise, Andor or Vulcan. I wish sorely that Gene Roddenberry was still alive and pay home to his genius. All this being said, I do however claim at this point to own the characters of D'Maryp and Bella Branzzk, Eric Andrews and Todd Isham as well as the planets of Mandarian IV, Cabilinus XII, the planet Hatora and the Jydenn who live there, the fictional high-priestess T'Lien - or at least the name for she is a Vulcan- and the planet Antricis. I do not claim Lt. James as he/she may already exist and would definitely bow down to Gene Roddenberry's ghost at anytime for owning that character. All this being said: Here goes the story.
Kirk couldn't help but notice the newly transferred lieutenant since the accident. She was in lamens terms a veterinarian of xeno and terran fields so she had a fancy and lengthy title Kirk had trouble keeping track of. It wasn't just concern for a crew member. It embarrassed him but all of a sudden he noticed her as a woman. Her cinnamon shade of wavy hair cut in a pixie-do, her deep green eyes, her large swaying breasts, her strong lithe legs in the blue science outfit which of said outfit, the skirt seemed just a bit shorter than average. He shook his head. He would have to have a discussion with her about her skirt. Wow. That certainly sounded naughty, didn't it?
Lt. Bella Branzzk had been an excellent officer with varied interests. She had a big heart and had extensive training in refugee work. She was the youngest woman in her field and had been happily married to a security officer named D'Maryp Branzzk, a Jydenn from the Planet Hatora. The Jydenn were a people who bonded with their mates by producing a mass amount of pheromones. It had taken a while to control his pheromones "responsibly".
Lt Bella Branzzk's only real problem was a pretty stubborn immunodeficiency that involved her xeno allergies that McCoy was treating her for. Or at least, until the accident.
It had happened 2 weeks ago. D'Maryp Branzzk had gone to rescue contaimnated refugees off Cabilinus XII and his suit had breached containment while he was trying to save a scared little boy in a cave. His body responded instanly to the bacterium and the Bonexiian Xenomenigicoccus had gone through his body like wildifire, turning all of his veins black with the infection. He had died within minutes. He and one 6 year old Cabilinusian boy were the only casualities.
When Kirk gained word of the passing of Lt. Cmdr. Branzzk, he also received word immediately that Bella had broken into hysterics in the transporter room. Apparently the two owned a telepathic connection that once severed sent her int oan uncontrolled frenzy of loss. Kirk, Spock and McCoy - being the senior officers - rushed to the transporter room. Officers Eric Andrews and Todd Isham were trying to subude the window with now success. Once the terriffic trio had appeared, Kirk tried to talk Bella down from her emotional stance while McCoy prepared a sedative, but Andrews was elbowed and released his precarious hold on Bella, who flew unrestrained at Spock. Spock caugh her, his hand accidentally coming into contact with her face, magnifying the brief telepathic contact between teh two. She seemed to calm almost instantly as he touched her, her mouth open as she gasped loudly, tears dryin on her face, her eyes fixed at the ceiling. Spock now intentionally adjusted his hand in a cautious movement into the intimate meld position, muttering some soft low words in his native tongue to her that the translators had difficulty translating but she appeared to understand. One new lone hero tear fell down her cheek and she collapsed into his arms, making the couple look almost like two lovers.
McCoy took advantage of her vulnerability at this moment to slip a sedative into her neck, and Spock caught her as her body went limp.
McCoy had treated the newly widowed woman until he felt she was fit for duty again.
Since the accident, she had borne a strong face - at least to the crew, for he didn't know how she was personally managing her grief - and Kirk for some embarrasing reason inexplicable to him - that he was definitely trying to ignore - found it a turn on that she was so strong in the face of such grief. And such naked painful emotion.
Just as Kirk was about to find Bones and ask him about her progress, Spock's bariton voice spoke over the intercom, requesting the captain's presence on the bridge.
Jim decided he would speak with Leonard later, and make sure to discreetly check on Branzzk's condition - since he couldn't stop thinking about her.
The Captain had asked to be called when their ship neared the neutral zone. Usually, Spock wouldn't have any problems concentrating on his tasks, such as studying the spacial anomalies present, and the other tasks he was responsible for or that he gave himself, but the past few weeks since the mindmeld had been increasingly difficult and quite unusual. He found himself feeling as if the initial throes of pon farr - the blood fever, his mating time - were upon him, but instead of thoughts of his wife consuming him, thoughts of all of the female crew floated in his head. He found his eyes dwelling on posteriors, and the females' mammaries, his highly sensitive nose heightening their natural aromans, nearly sending him into a frenzy. It was increasingly difficult for him to maintain his position on the bridge next to the dark beauty of Uhura, let alone walk up and down the corridors of the Enterprise, seeing the random beauties heading to their stations or their rooms. Spock tried to hold his urges in check, and performed the illogical task of hoping that no one noticed his eyes grazing the females' bodies. He hoped he was being discreet.
When he had locked minds with Bella for that brief moment those two weeks ago, he had locked minds with a very compartmentalized persona; a compassionate person but also a person with the biggest libido that he had ever encountered telepathically. It seemed 9/10 of her mind was filled with passion and such related thought patterns, and her panic was from, yes, losing a loved one, but more so she was panicking because she had lost her husband's special link, and this overactive libido attacked Spock mentally, overpowering the walls he had built up from years of training and discipline. Apparently, the telepathic link was there to keep Bella pacified from moments when he wasn't present to pacify her with his pheromones. Then, without either to comfort her, she was sent into her turmoil.
Spock couldn't help but still feel conected to Bella, regardless of the fact he had tried to end their link. Bella had a very high esper rating, which had been part of the reason D'Maryp had chased after her. He felt that because of her high epser rating that this could only serve to help their relationship. He also couldn't help but feel his blood burn. Too bad the Vulcans weren't taught self-stimulation. It was felt it was unneeded. So few Vulcans had mental illnesses - including nymphomania - that it was felt highly illogical to teach anything but emotional repression and management.
When Kirk walked through the lift doors onto the bridge, Spock could almost swear that Kirk was watching him. He pretended to check and see if Uhura's console was operational, but actually it was an excuse to check her out again.
Kirk sat in his chair, absorbed with the view before him. Spock noticed that Kirk himself seemed a bit distracted and agitated. Spock wondered if maybe Kirk had heard from Carol Marcus again. The two had been arguing lately.
"Alright, all stations. Report."
"Captain, all clear here," breathed Uhura's beautiful silky milk-chocolate voice.
"No ships on the sensors," intoned Spock a bit brusquely. "And the spacial anomaly is maintaining the same readings."
"Maintaining specified heading. On our way to Mandarian IV." said Sulu.
"Nothing new, Keptin," responded Chekhov.
"Well, maybe for once we'll have a clear sail next to the Neutral Zone," chuckled Kirk. Kirk paused for a moment. "Spock, didn't your shift end 13 hours ago?"
"Yes, captain, but I feel no fatigue and am-"
"Call Lt. James up for your relief. Go .. mediate or something. I don't need you falling asleep at your post."
Spock seemed lightly annoyed when he responded, "Yes.. sir." And left his station.
He couldn't go to any of the rec rooms. There were too many females. He would not go to the caf either. Too many women devouring foods in their delicate mouths. He could not go anywhere but to the safe seclusion of his quarters, maybe let his blood cool down in the privacy of his quarters. He would go to his quarters. That was the best idea.
Spock attempted to take a shower. This did not help to cool his veins. He thought of the last ensign he had seen, running her hands down his body, lathering his lean strong body. Touching him...
Spock tore himself from the shower, and wrapped himself in a towel. He could dry himself, but that would not help him either. Maybe to dry off in the re-circulated air of the ship would help. Light one candle to focus on, try to clear his mind in meditation.
He sat cross-legged in the middle of the floor of his bedroom.
He stared at the candle flickering in the recirculated air that always smelled too clean to him. The air tickled his nipples. The air teased his sensitive ear-lobes. How the air felt good caressing his skin.
Spock tried to stare again at the candle.
Mediation eluded him. All he could think of was the sensations he felt.
He tried to picture himself in the desert outside the home he grew up.
He tried to picture himself on the mountain next to his family home.
He tried to picture himself in the void of space, the stars singing to him, as they sang to him in his dreams.
He tried to picture himself on Sarpeidon, even with the cold, to cool cool cool his burning flaming veins.
He tried to picture himself on Earth, staring at the Pacific Ocean crashing under the Golden Gate Bridge.
An hour passed of him trying to meditate.
Finally, he surrendered to the inevitabitily that he would not be able to meditate right now. Frustrated, - and frustrated he was frustrated - he dressed himself in his uniform and went to check any incoming messages on his console. He was interrupted by the chirp of his door.
"Enter," stated Spock, trying to maintain his composure.
The door whoosed and in its opening revealed the form of Bella Branzzk. Spock thought his heart would leap out of his chest. A flurry of erotic images flew through his head. He struggled to compose himself.
"How may I be of assitstance, Lieutenant Branzzk?" He asked, in hopefully an even tone.
"I need help in managing my grief." She uttered, taking a step closer to him, allowing the door to close behind her.
Spock took a seat on his couch a ramrod uncomfortable looking stance, and cocked his head at her, raising a sardonic eyebrow high in question.
"Explain to me why it would be logical to come to me for assistance rather than the ship's counselor, or perhaps even Doctor McCoy who could prescribe you some-"
"It has to be you. Don't you feel that?" She asked, sitting before him on the L shaped couch, leaning in close to him.
"I feel.. I feel.." Spock found himself struggling to issue any response that would lead her to believe that he felt nothing around her. That she wasn't stretching his very last stretch of control. Instead of being able to do this, he responded: "This is illogical and innapropriate. You should be seeking someone else's assistance with this matter."
"And all sorts of ill's and in's, I'm sure."
"I cannot assist you in this endeavor, ma'am." He replied brusquely.
"'Ma'am?' Aren't you a card!" She chuckled musically.
Spock opened his mouth to say something, when she touched his knee. She looked desperate. Out of control. He felt that contact flare as she tapped him. He felt electrified. The heat in his veins he saw in her eyes, and he did not know how to compose himself. He did not know if he could compose himself.
"Mrs. Branzzk-"
"Bella. Call me Bella." She insisted, nearly panting herself.
"You .. are beautiful, and you are grieving."
"No. I am needing. This kind of need leaves me no time to grieve." She growled, her hand shaking on his knee, looking almost crazed in that moment.
Spock put a hand over hers to try and steady her, but it was the incorrect and illogical move to take. As soon as he took her hand he felt all that she was feeling, an overwhelming flood of lust and confusion.
"I do not know why I am feeling this way." He didn't know if he said it or if she did, but in the next moment she was caressing his fingers with her other hand, sending her feelings to him in the intimate Vulcan kiss.
"I feel the same way." Again, he didn't know who said it, and then he realized no one had said it. They were thinking the same things to each other. Speaking into each others' minds.
"Kiss me." This feeling was strong and it was from her.
Spock released a groan and his mouth was on hers, hard and demanding. She felt unnaturally warm to him. Almost Vulcanian warm, but that made him only want her more. Everywhere she touched him, he burned. Every thought she sent to him inflamed him more. She was sending to him all that she wanted him to do to her, teaching him about the female body even more than Leia had taught him in his flower-induced stupor those years ago. He felt her hands touch his pointed ears and he felt all of his resolve evaporate, all of his walls crumble. He was hard, and he would have her. And then everything would be back to normal. Everything would be fine. He would stop being consumed by this lust.. He would..
He would have her. He would have her now. He yearned for her. He burned and ached for her. In a lightning quick mood he had her thrown up against the wall, her legs wrapped about him as he touched her under her skirt the way she told him she wanted. With the other hand, he removed her outfit's top.
Deleted, really interesting NC-17 scene. If you want to read it, let me know. I'll send it to you. It explains the differences between Vulcan and Human anatomy. Yaaaaayy!
Afterwards, he slowly let her back down to her feet, and he slowly realized that his head wasn't clear of the heat. The plaktau had not subsided. He felt now that he wanted her more than before.
"I think something's wrong, Bella."
"What?" she laughed.
"My fever should be gone. We have mated, and still my blood burns." He intoned in a deep husky voice.
"What?"
"You do not know this. Well.. actually, you may now know now that you have quested my brain. I am only supposed to go through the blood fever.. This mating drive is only supposed to consume me every seven years. What have you done to me? I want you again."
"Spock you may have me!" She looked endlessly grateful at his statement.
So he took her again.
Two days later, when Spock was to return to duty, he did not. Instead he returned to the sickbay, clenching his fists at his side, fighting for composure. He did so hate McCoy's senseless jabs.
Spock's logic was that after almost two non-stop days of mating with Branzzk, his fire should have abated some. Instead, it had only intensified, for now their telepathic link was quite solid.
The Enterprise was doing fine without him on the bridge. There had been no reports of enemy fire, and they were about to finally arrive at Mandarian IV on a diplomatic mission, so he decided he could wait no longer to see the doctor.
"Doctor, I may require your assistance," uttered Spock, his hands both in fists hanging like planks against his side.
"Well, really, Spock, comin' to ask lil' ol' me for some help?" McCoy drawled, letting the Southern show in his scratchy voice.
"Sir..." breathed Spock slowly and deeply. "I believe that I am in the throes of the plaktau. I cannot escape them. And yet, I do not burn for the one who I did call wife. I.. just.. burn."
"Spock, we're a long way from Vulcan." McCoy looked a little bit panicked. "What would you have me do?"
"You must lock me up. Maybe this fire will burn out on its own."
McCoy thought this was an illogical request. "No what I must do is hook you up to a biobed, run some tests and find out what the Hell is going on."
"Then you must ask Nurse Chapel to leave, and all the females. I am afraid my resolve is no longer strong enough to resist anyone anymore. And that may make me assault another man."
"Are you telling me that I need to restrain you because your mating drive has gone beserk? Have you been out in space that long, Spock?" McCoy was very worried by the statements Spock was making.
"I am telling you what needs to be done. I need to be in isolation somehow. If you want to run tests on me here, that is fine. It would be best to still insert me into the quarantine room."
"Who made you a doctor?"
"Who made you an expert on the Vulcan condition?"
"Oh you are NOT playing this game with me, mister. You'll do what I tell you to do, if you want my help." McCoy responded, visibly bristling, turning around this illogical and unlikely power play. "Now can I touch you, or will you attack me?"
"You may assist me, Doctor."
McCoy led Spock to the quarantine room, strapping the Vulcan-Human hybrid to the bio-bed just in case, and requested the ladies to not assist with the Vulcan's delicate treatment. Next, he would have to make a request to Kirk.
Kirk came to the sickbay, into McCoy's office looking a little bit rumpled himself. A little bit less composed. He had just awoken himself from a very erotic dream about the young lieutenant that Spock had been mating with for almost two days straight. A little annoyed, he noticed there were no other females running around for him to oogle at even for a moment.
"What's up, McCoy?"
McCoy glowered at Kirk's cheery greeting. "We need to divert to Vulcan as soon as possible."
"Really? Why?"
"Spock is suffering.. well.. He's going through that damn pon farr again but it's not right. He's .. burning after all the girls. The Vulcan are a monagamous species because it is logical, and he.. needs to find a wife immediately. He let me know that all the girls on the ship are starting to look good to him."
"He said that?" Kirk looked shocked.
"Not quite in that way, but yeah, that was the gist of it."
Kirk paused, looking very worried. "Could he die?"
"I don't know enough right now, Jim. All I know is I have to keep him strapped to that damn bio-bed, he's getting delirious, and I can't have any girls in my sickbay right now because he might attack them."
"Spock would never hurt anyone." insisted Kirk.
"Not intentionally. But what if he were to try and mate with the whole crew? He's a pretty attractive guy. He might be able to use his telepathic powers and convince them that they want to have his baby. I have no idea what he will do! We must get him to Vulcan. They probably know what to do as far as mental health goes. And who knows. Maybe his old gal will give him a fuck for old times sake."
"Now now, McCoy. You really think that kind of language is appropriate?"
"Oh well mate with him. I don't know. Maybe give her some kind of birth control. The Vulcan species has pretty potent sperm. I don't want him getting loose on our ship and knocking up 3/4 of the crew."
"Alright. I will speak with T'Pau.. and Starfleet. But it may take a few days."
"I think I can keep him under control until then. Maybe I'll finally sedate the green-eared bastard."
"Make it so, McCoy."
"And until then we're going to need to convert some of the labs into emergency medical rooms so the girls can still practice. M'Benga and I will try to treat Spock as an isolated case, and once I feel it's safe, maybe we can transport him to his room, and lock it up for Chrissakes."
"Sounds good, Bones. I'll get right on that."
Two more days later...
"Dr. McCoy," breathed the lieutenant quickly as she entered the sickbay. "I need your help. Something's wrong with me."
"What's the matter, sugar?"
"I.. I don't feel myself. I.. I..." Then Bella was falling to the floor, and Dr. McCoy was calling for Nurse Chapel.
"We need a bed. Clear a bed. Something's wrong with Dr. Branzzk."
One hour later...
Bella found herself awaking from her stupor.
"I feel so silly, Doctor, bothering you like this," she responded, not looking like she felt silly at all. She looked like she wanted to eat him alive, and McCoy felt himself feeling that he wouldn't mind if she threw him right down on that bio bed and ravaged him. If only he didn't care about the damned hypocratic oath.
"I-I believe I know what's going on with you, Mrs. Branzzk." stammered McCoy, trying to shake horribly vivid erotic images of himself and her entwined in that room. "I believe that you are suffering from withdrawal."
"Withdrawal? That doesn't make any sense at all. I'm not some sort of addict!" She protested, making McCoy feel a little bit more himself.
"Well, not from any conventional matter you're not. Since the death of your husband, have you noticed any behavioral changes for yourself?"
Bella did not respond. She looked skeptically at the doctor, and crossed her arms over her large heaving breasts which McCoy struggled not to watch.
"Your husband fed you his pheromones on a daily basis, and compounded by your telepathic connection, your body came to be addicted to those pheromones, increasing your libido, and putting yourself into a constant craving for his.. well attention." Responded McCoy very swiftly and more than a little bit embarrassed.
"I loved my husband. You're saying the only reason I loved him is because of his pheromones?! This is ridiculous!" She growled, looking like a female cougar all of a sudden. The sudden change in her demeanor didn't make him feel any more comfortable. Didn't make any of his sexy visions of her abate, but McCoy felt he was a consummate actor. He wouldn't allow her to know what he was thinking.
He smiled, trying to still be gentle. "No. I'm saying because you were his mate, he, as a Jydenn had to release pheromones as was his way to attach his mate to him. It's just unusual that your body would have responded to the pheromones as a chemical substance. I'm not saying you didn't love your husband. I'm just saying we need to find a way to wean you off these pheremones. Your body is responding in a rather undelightful way to the lack of exposure to D'Maryp. Also, your high esper rating isn't helping at all either, because I believe you are having an effect on the crew. They are responding to your.. inappropriate thoughts that you are sending out like waves."
"You mean I would get treatments, like my allergy treatments?" She asked, ignoring his comments about her inappropriate thoughts.
"Well.. at first, we would have to administer the treatment more regularly than the allergy treatments. You would have to monitor your body's responses quite regularly like when Earth used to have diabetes."
Bella's face looked agitated. "Honestly, doctor, I don't see why this is neccessary."
"Really, Doctor Branzzk? Because if you ignore your symptoms, you are going to have more of these 'fainting attacks' caused by your body being overwhelmed by your own body's response to trying to to deal without what you have lived with for so long," McCoy snapped. "Now are you going to agree to treatment, or do I have to pull strings, because I'm not above that. I'll get you off the duty roster before you can say Mr. Spock's last name."
Bella paused. She wanted to still want Spock. Right now she needed him. He was the only one on that ship who could talk to her the way he did. But maybe that in itself wasn't right. Was it fair for her to compromise his career.
"Well?" McCoy asked in blatant impatient irritation.
"Fine. Let's start treatment."
"I'll go prepare your injections."
Three days later...
"Go away!" roared Spock at the door to his quarters. He wanted no one to disturb him. He could not stand if anyone disturbed him now. If he could just look out the window at the stars, maybe he could finally meditate and pretend he was floating through the stars, the stars singing to him.
"It's Bella," uttered the lady softly.
"Well you certainly are not going to help matters, are you?" he muttered to himself. Then he relented. "Come in."
Bella entered, looking nervous. Why would she be nervous about him? She had seen more than anyone on this ship had seen. She had read into his thoughts more intimately than anyone else had. Even his wife had not cared to read all of his thoughts. His wife had burned with him and that was it.
"I came to offer my assistance. I feel you are in distress." she uttered matter-of-factly.
"Do not play counselor with me, Bella. What is the purpose of your visit? We are on our way to Vulcan, and I feel that you will only exacerbate my condition." He responded in barely contained anger. "I.. still.. want you.." he said between his teeth.
"I know. I feel it. I feel your burning." she responded, looking about able to cry.
"Sometimes you will find that wanting is not as great a thing as having. I have said that before and I find myself saying it again. But I feel with you having is so much better than just wanting. What power do you have over me, that I feel this way?" He ended with a hiss.
"I went to McCoy. I am.. getting treatment." She confessed.
"You are not ill. I am ill." Insisted Spock, looking confused.
"You're not ill, Spock. It's.." Bella's eyes began to water. "It's my fault. I.. developed a dependency to my husband's telepathic link and his pheremones and I'm having to be weaned off the latter. And you.. you linked with me at my worst time, during the immediate severing of our connection and ... it's my fault. I made you want me. Not on purpose but I still did. And I wanted you too, Spock. And I didn't want to stop wanting you, but McCoy insisted. He said-"
"What are you saying?"
"Eventually my libido will be normal again. Eventually I believe as I return to normal, so will you. Unless I choose to marry another Jydenn from Hatora or an Orion slave girl, then I will be normal. Allbeit, I've always had a really big libido, but it will not be on hyper-alert. And you.. you can live your normal life. We're still going to Vulcan, and you'll still go for some therapy. They probably will dissolve our link, which depresses me, because I have truly grown fond of you, but it is probably for the best. Your parents will find you another betrothed so that next time you go through this, you'll have someone to respond to in your natural way. And I.." Bella began to cry. "Well, I will begin to be able to grieve. My husband was a gentle man, a loving man, and he never did anything to hurt anyone. He died trying to save others."
Spock still felt the wildfire in his veins. He knew she felt it too, even though it was beginning to slowly abate. He wanted to reach for her. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to kiss her and he wanted her not to cry. He instead did nothing but burn, and listen to her.
"And I will transfer. I wanted the Enterprise. It's the best ship in the fleet, but I can't work with you Spock. Not until my treatments have finished. I.. may even return to Hatora. Or maybe it would be better to go someplace else that doesn't have any telepathic powers. Some place where they're immune to it. If some place like that even exists. All I know, is I need to be able to be me again. Especially me around you."
"You do not need to leave because of me." Spock stated, feeling a little bit more himself for a moment.
"How many lives am I going to disrupt because of this?" She asked, tears streaming down her face, shaking with the emotions she still was trying to restrain. Trying to restrain her need.. "I see the way McCoy looks at me. I see the way Kirk looks at me. I see the way Chekov looks at me. I see the way Scotty and Sulu look at me. I see the way the youngest ensigns look at me. They want it. And I want so badly to give it to them," she growled, sounding like a feral kitten. She took a deep spasmodic breath and attempted to compose herself again. "I must leave. For the health of the crew, I must leave. For my own health, I must leave. I am going to my quarters. I will remain there until I can figure out where I'm going. I will have McCoy send one of the female medical officers to attend me and help me with my treatment. So far," she laughed. "I have no affect on the girls."
"Well if that is your decision, then it is your decision. I cannot change your decision-"
"You're rambling." She noted, suddenly finding it incredibly difficult to breathe around him. She could 'see' the visions roaring through his head of their two days together.
"I find myself 'tongue-tied' around you, Bella. What a perfect name for you."
There was a long pause as their eyes locked, electricity boiling and sparking between them.
"I should leave now." She stated.
"You should."
She didn't. She sat down on the L-shaped couch and looked at him. He looked remarkable. The room was very dark, and the real light that carressed him was the starlight. He looked exotic and wonderful, his ears hugged by starlight, his face the passionate one she knew.
"Spock, you know we must end this. Otherwise, you may die, and I can't bear that. Your body cannot hold up to the strain of this much emotion."
"My ancestors survived it. Perhaps I may learn to survive it." He said, almost indignantly.
Bella shook her head. "I think I may love you."
Spock looked at her, and said nothing.
"But the thing is, I'm not in love with you. So either way, it's not worth you dying for me. There's nothing that would make it right for you to die for me. So I should leave now." She said, a little bit more solidly.
"You should." He said in the same way he had before. Almost normally.
There was a long pause.
"But what if I don't, Spock. What if I don't leave?" She was doubting herself, and Spock couldn't blame her. He was doubting himself. What if he were to join her on her voyage to find herself, to be able to grieve, to be herself to...
"I will keep burning." Spock decided. "I will not leave you if you will not willingly leave. And in a way, a part of us will die, and a part of us will be born. It is up to you to decide what is most important."
"Why me?"
Spock let his rage loose suddenly, unexpectedly. "Because you are the ONLY one who can see this clearly right now! You have merely tasted the capacity of the Vulcan emotions, and I have only begun to be able to share them. I cannot just shut them off like some of you humans can, to go suddenly frigid, empty. I cannot do this. You either have all of it or none of it. And so is my heart."
Bella closed her eyes and breathed softly, tears escaping from under her lids. She thought she was done crying for Spock. Spock who could not find a balance for his emotions. Spock who could only find peace by being Vulcan. Boring because of his inability to share his emotions. Sexy because of his massive intellect. She cried for him, freely, quietly, and it was all she could take not to stand and kiss him.
Instead she stood and turned to leave him.
"Bella.." he breathed.
"Yes?" she said, quietly, her back to him.
"I never meant to hurt you."
She stood still, back hunched to protect herself from the impact of his words.
"At least you can understand that for now." She returned, her voice only audible because of his pointed Vulcan ears.
"I am unable to be more than you wish me to." He confessed.
"The same is true for me. At least we'll always have the Enterprise."
Spock found he couldn't respond.
"Goodbye Spock. Live long and prosper."
"Peace, above all peace for you. And long life."
She left.
3 weeks later
As the fire ebbed, as the fire cooled as he waited in his lonely room he heard the stars once again sing to him as he fell into a dream.
As the fire ebbed, as the fire cooled, she waited in her lonely room, and cried as she too heard the stars sing, but for it was the first time, and she lay awake, already grieving for the loss of Spock's touch, mentally and physically. Grieving for her husband, too. She now had time to do that as well.
In two days they would arrive at Vulcan. Kirk had pushed Scotty very hard to get the Enterprise to get there very quickly. He missed having Spock on his bridge, and as soon as they could find a high priestess on Vulcan, the tie would be severed, and Spock would be free. Part of him didn't want to be free. Most of her didn't want him to be free, but they both knew it was neccessary. For the last two weeks, McCoy had been coming by to give him sedatives, but he knew that the Vulcan couldn't live on those forever. Thank God he'd kept some sedatives aboard the Enterprise that were friendly for the Vulcan physiology, though he never truly thought he would need to use them.
McCoy thought about what had happend and felt it was all quite surreal. Lady addicted to pheremones, Spock falling into a stupor. Maybe because of his high esper rating. Or maybe because of..
No, McCoy didn't even want to think about it.
But he had to. What if it was all because of the quick link they had had in the transporter room? What if she had made him sick?
McCoy shook his head as he sat in his office, cradling a glass of bourbon. Well, it didn't really matter now, did it? It would all be over soon, and Spock would be back to himself. And Bella, well she'd requested transfer to the Planet Antricis. A cold cold planet near Andor. A place where there was not known to be any telepaths. A place she could "recover" she said. She told McCoy, this way, the ship could get back to normal. McCoy was silently grateful in part of him. None of this whole drama she had caused - unintentionally mind you - and he could have his Spock back in a few days. Damn him but he wanted his Spock back. In all of his pasionless logic. He had seen Spock in far too unsettling a state. He could never look the same at him again. And now McCoy would fill his own veins with their own kind of warmth. A familiar kind. Alcohol. And he would get through this.
Kirk himself was going to his quarters to take a nap. Bella had all but fallen from his thought patterns and he wanted to be well-rested for Vulcan. Vulcan's atmosphere always left him tired, and he didn't know if he'd need to fight again and fake his own death, or take part in another obscure ritual.
Two days later
Spock woke from a deep sleep.
Bella woke from a deep sleep.
Spock felt he was near his native-born home, and Bella weeped. She would never be able to have what she had with him, ever again. He would go meet T'Lien, the High-Priestess that would sever the bond. Hopefully the fires would have abated enough so that he would not convince her to spend time with him. And Bella would leave for a cold cold world completely alien to her.
But it was as it had to be.
But they would never forget each other.
And they both looked out the windows in their room to the red planet below, and heard the planet call to them.