Summary: Aphrodite feels bad for her husband's TV channel running out of business, so she makes up a plan to save it. With humor, drama, and a bit of romance she creates, "Aphrodite's Couples Therapy," a reality TV series filled with famous demigod couples going to lengths for their relationship. Featuring Percabeth, Jasper, and much more.
A/N: Line breaks means static or next scene.
Prologue
Hephaestus groaned, rubbing his sore head. He was too fired up right now. Today was not the day for him. First, Poseidon accidently floods his basement. Now, his TV channel, "Hephaestus TV," wasn't working out anymore. Fewer gods watch the channel nowadays, which means not enough money to fund the channel. His used-to-be-the-best creation will now go down the drain.
Then, the front door opened. He could hear it from afar, even if he didn't see it open. A bright aura filled the living room, humming innocently as the girl kissed her husband on the cheek.
"Hi, Hephaestus," said Aphrodite sweetly.
"Cut the crap, Aphrodite. You went out to see Ares again, didn't you?" His face wasn't even surprised. Whenever she acted lovingly she was hiding something—a habit she can't break out of.
Dammit, he already knows, she thought. I really got to work on my sneaking out skills. I'll ask for Hermes to teach me later. Now, her sneaking out for Ares failed ultimately. She smiled at her husband, hoping he let it go, just like always.
"You're forgiven. I don't even care."
Aphrodite's raised her eyebrow, suspicion seeping in her mind. Her husband never acts like that, especially when Ares is involved. What was wrong with her husband?
"Are you okay, Hephaestus dear?"
"No."
"Then, what is it?" She charmspeaked her way into getting information.
Not knowing her charmspeak was being used, he replied, "They're shutting down Hephaestus TV! Apparently, there're not enough viewers watching."
"Why don't I help you?"
He blinked. "You think you can?"
"Of course," she said excitedly. "I've been wanting to start this project for weeks!"
"I don't know. Remember the last time you started a show? We got sued for being 'copycats.'"
"Pleaseeeeeeee," she pleaded.
His ears croaked in agony as her pleads echoed across the lovely abode. "Fine, but if the first episode doesn't get any good ratings or we get sued again, I'll blame you."
Aphrodite squeaked, rejoicing in happiness. "You won't regret it." She ran off to her blue vanity to start her project. However, she stopped running and hopped back quickly, saying, "And we won't get sued this time!" Then, she actually did run off.
"We'll see about that," he sighed. Her crazy antics never change.
Episode 1: Welcome The Couples.
Aphrodite relaxed in her comfy chair, ready for the session to begin. She couldn't help but love how today will go. Imagine all the gossip that could be made from all these couples that are going to be featured! This will certainly bring ratings up and some godly parents' attention.
A cupid statue clicked his stony fingers and steadied the camera's angle. He signaled a "good to go" and Aphrodite contorted into her best smile.
"Welcome to my show, 'Aphrodite's Couples Therapy,'" she spoke. "Today's pilot episode will feature some of Olympus' favorite demigod couples from Camp Half-Blood, who were questioned about their love lives."
"Welcome our first couple, Percy and Annabeth."
"Hello, Percy and Annabeth," greeted Aphrodite, smiling brightly.
Annabeth waved her hand. "Hello, Lady Aphrodite."
"Hi," Percy simply spoke, hands in pockets.
"Our next couple is Jason and Piper."
"Piper, my daughter, and Jason, hello!" the mother squealed.
"Hi, mom." Piper leaned back on the sofa provided, crossing her right leg over the left.
"Hello, Lady Aphrodite." Jason sat next to his girl, holding her waist.
Aphrodite disappointedly frowned. "Cut the formalities, Jason, call me 'Mom!'" She winked. "We're technically family now! Seeing as you two will be wed soon."
Piper's eyes widened at what was happening. "MOOOM! WE'RE NOT MARRIED OR ENGAGED!"
"What? I thought you might marry him?" whined the love goddess. "You can't blame your mom for saying what you thought, sweetie!"
Piper facepalmed.
"An odd but cute couple, Travis and Katie."
"Greetings, Travis and Katie."
Katie tried to sit comfortably on the chair. "Greetings as well, Aphrodite."
Travis snored, sleeping peacefully in his seat. He had fallen asleep while waiting for their couples' session to start; Aphrodite spent too much time with her makeup to notice that their session should've started 15 minutes ago.
Katie glared at her lazy boyfriend. "Travis, wake up!" She shook him vigorously, watching him tumble out of their seat.
"I'm up! I'm up!" he yelled alarmed, quickly standing up. The drowsiness wore off and he wondered what was happening. "Huh?" He noticed Katie and Aphrodite sitting down. "Oh, we're at Aphrodite's talkshow?"
"Say hi, Travis." Katie rolled her eyes.
"Hello... um... Lady Aphrodite."
"Let's welcome the last couple, Clarisse and Chris."
"Hello, you two."
Chris smiled. "Hello, Lady Aphrodite."
"Great, I'm meeting my dad's happy-go-lucky girlfriend," Clarisse muttered, having her arms crossed.
"What was that?" Aphrodite snarled, tilting her head.
"Um, hello, Aphrodite." Clarisse gave her best fake smile.
"Better."
"Thank you for coming in today," said Aphrodite. "With the both of you at Camp Half-Blood, mostly busy as ever, I'm surprised you have come all the way to Olympus for tonight's session."
"Unless you count being blackmailed to come, I don't think a 'thank you' will cut it," Annabeth muttered.
"Nothing too serious," Percy claimed. "Besides, just because I'm considered an Olympus hero for an odd reason doesn't mean I don't have time. This session is free, right? 'Cause I'm not paying a sand dollar for this."
"Yes, Seaweed Brain, the session is free. She even mentioned it in the letter she brutally gave—I mean, send—to us. And even if you did have to pay, what makes you think she'll like a sand dollar? Only mermen and anyone from the ocean accepts those."
Percy rolled his eyes. "But Aphrodite's from the sea. She was made from sea foam, wasn't she?"
"Don't you know I'm right here?" Aphrodite tried to interrupt.
However, Percy and Annabeth ignored her and started an argument.
"Glad to be here," Jason said. "Just make sure Thalia didn't see I said that."
Aphrodite and Piper asked, "Why?"
"As much as Thalia loves you as a sister, Piper, she just doesn't think we should go on 'Aphrodite's terrible idea of a show.'"
"Hmph," Aphrodite grumbled, crossing arms. She is utterly annoyed that people think her show was stupid. "Let's see what happens to her when I get some involved in her life," she murmured.
"What was that, mom?"
"Nothing, sweetie. Just happy for you to come and visit me!"
"I guess it's honour to be here...?" Katie said uncertainly. She had no idea on what to say to a meddling love goddess.
"Well, it's nice to know someone here thinks I can be busy," Travis smugly said.
Katie's hands found a way onto her hips. "Just because you do pranks doesn't mean you work hard enough."
"Says who?"
"Says me."
"I'm not too busy," Chris stated. "It's actually nice to stay away from Camp."
Clarisse snickered. "That's because I always beat your ass at fighting. You can't handle the humiliation."
Chris blushes. "S-Shut up!"
Percy and Annabeth continued their little fight, unaware of the filming. Neither one was going to give up, so Aphrodite lets it slide.
"Ahhh." Aphrodite fell into a daze, delighted at seeing her favorite couple. The camera zoomed into her perfect face. "See, this is why I love them," she whispered. "They're like Athena and Poseidon; always fighting. Only difference is that they're just in love."
"Okay, let's get started with the first question," Aphrodite told. "Remember, to be honest," she quickly added.
"Yeah, Travis, be honest! No lying."
"How has your relationship lately?"
Annabeth rolled her eyes. "What do you think? It's been great you could say."
"Yeah, what she said," Percy added, "besides the fighting, Athena ranting on my ass, and Annabeth's annoying ways of waking me up in the morning. But other than that, I'd say we're tight."
"As much as it pains me to say this, but our relationship is like perfect!" Piper exclaimed, saying something an average Aphrodite kid would say. "We don't argue too much, we have a lot of space, and go on a lot of dates."
"I have to agree. Everything seems like it was meant to be in our relationship," Jason agreed.
Aphrodite squeaked happily. "I swear, from that tone, you could marry her right now."
"MOOOOOM!"
"Our relationship might not be as perfect as others, but I would say we're good enough to stay together for a while," Travis said truthfully.
"Wow, that's one of the most logical things you've said all these years," gasped Katie.
"Why, thank you." Then, he realized what she meant by that. "Hey! I'm smarter than that. I'm sure I've said a few logical things!"
"What do you mean?" asked Chris.
"Like a relationship status," Aphrodite replied.
"Relationship status?" Clarisse scrunched up her nose. "What are you? Silena?"
"I'm her mom, so I guess in a way, yes."
"That was kind of a dumb question," Chris commented.
"Shut up!" Clarisse shouted. "I just forgot who my best friend's mom is."
"Silena lives in a pink dollhouse, I think it's obvious enough her mom is Aphrodite." Who wouldn't think of Aphrodite when it comes to pink?
Aphrodite nodded. "True, true. But why does everyone automatically think I like pink?" It always puzzles her why everyone automatically thinks she likes pink. Did some mortal start a rumor about her liking pink?
"Just shut up, Chris." Clarisse gave her best piercing glare at Chris.
Chris gulped, scared. "Yes, ma'am." He swears his pants might soak any second.
"The question!" Aphrodite reminded. "Answer the question!"
Clarisse sighed. "Our relationship is fine in a sense. I kick his butt a lot, but that makes up for that romance stuff we do."
Chris opens his mouth, ready to speak. She put her index finger in front of him.
"Don't say another word if you wanna live."
"What do you like about your other?"
Annabeth smiled, liking the question. "He is my hero, always saving me when I fall. So courageous and humorous."
"He has skills of a leader despite his doubts." Piper dreamily sighs.
Katie giggled. "He keeps me entertained and wanting more, even if pranks me."
"Despite the fact I'm a bit more strong than him, he is very protective of me, which I'm fond of," Clarisse answered.
"Wait? You like my over-protectiveness?" Chris was surprised. Usually, Clarisse would be mad whenever he tries to protect her.
"Oh sweet mama, have you seen her fight?" Percy practically grinned. "She is a killer in battles, and very strategic to add." He sighed happily, falling in a trance.
"She is a beauty—even prettier than her mom," Jason complimented.
"Since she's my daughter and you'll both get married soon, I'll let that slide."
"She's feisty and hot; I dig that in a chick," said Travis.
"She can kill a monster in less than a second, who wouldn't be impressed?" Chris rhetorical asked.
"Okay, a twisted question. What do you not like about your other?"
Piper frowned. "Oh gosh..."
"Erm..." Katie stumbled.
"Oh... this is going to get ugly," muttered Annabeth.
Chris rubbed his neck nervously. He didn't exactly know what to say about Clarisse. "I don't know if I can speak poorly about Clarisse."
"Oh come on! There's gotta be something you don't like about her," Aphrodite stated.
Chris went to thinking. What did he exactly dislike about Clarisse?
"She's so bossy!" Percy complained, just outright speaking the truth. "She acts as if I'm an idiot all the time—"
"Which you are!"
"Sometimes I think saving her is a mistake when she starts babbling right after I save her. But then again, she's the damsel in distress."
Annabeth glared. "Oh, you did not just say that!"
Aphrodite gets popcorn and a soda from the snack bar. "This is gonna get brutal!" She slurps her soda, watching intensely.
"I do not charmspeak you to do what I want!" Piper shouted frustrated. "I can't control it half the time! How should I know if I'm controlling you? I can't stop talking or else you won't understand me! Stop blaming it on me!" Why the hell is Jason saying that her charmspeak so awful?
Travis scowled. "Katie-Kat doesn't know when to draw the line with her nagging! She goes on and on about how irresponsible I am and sometimes how I don't think before doing my pranks."
Clarisse snorted. "He can be annoying when he's sleeping! He snores so much that when we sneak out to see the stars at night, I leave the moment he falls asleep and I come back in the morning before he notices."
"That's why I feel cold during my sleep!"
"What!? I'm not a dumb moron!" Percy growled.
"Oh please! I don't get you; you act like an idiot, albeit the fact you're intelligent!" snapped Annabeth.
Jason rolled his eyes. "What do you mean I don't spend enough time with you? We might have limited time together when I travel back and forth for both camps. But that doesn't mean I don't love having you around! Would you rather I stay at Camp Jupiter forever!?"
"He can be so messy at dinner. No table manners," Katie admitted, shivering in disgust. "He always throws his vegetables on plate when I tell him to eat them. One time, when I put his vegetables back on his plate, he threw them on my head. Do you know how long it took for me to clean my hair?"
"Who cares if I don't exactly kiss or hug you enough!?" Clarisse asked, annoyed.
"It does to me. I always kiss your cheek and you act as if I'm a sucker for doing that."
"What the hell am I going to do if my brothers see me like that? They'll think I'm a weakling!"
"So?" snorted Christ. "You're the strongest camper in there and is the cabin counselor! You can beat them and make them beg for mercy!"
Annabeth started to tear up. "Okay, maybe I was a bit mean by calling you a moron. And being bossy? It's just I get so prideful."
Percy holds her. "I'm sorry. I guess I can be an idiot half the time, but I will always save you. You're not a damsel in distress, it's just monsters like to target you so easily."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry, too."
"I guess I can't blame you for something you can't control," Jason admitted. "It's just when you say something causing me to stop what I'm going to do, I can't help but feel like I'm not my own person. I'm sorry."
"And I'm sorry. I should respect wherever you're going," sighed Piper. "We always spend a lot of time together and, even if includes monsters, I'll love spending it with you happily. No moments wasted."
Jason and Piper were leaning to kiss each other.
"So, the wedding's back on?" Aphrodite asked, her face stuffed with popcorn.
"MOOOOOOM!"
"I'm sorry, Katie-Kat." He leans in for a hug.
Katie dodges his hug and ignores completely.
"Katie-Kat, please? I—"
Katie dives to hugs him. "I'm sorry. I guess I can be a bit of a stubborn, stern girl. I nag so much. Now, I feel like I might lose you. Don't leave me. Please."
"Never." He hugs her back, securing her in his arms. "And, it's true; I should eat a bit more healthy food and be not a piggy eater at dinner. But, can I at least have one chocolate bar after?"
"Of course." Katie giggled.
"I am the strongest camper ever, aren't I? Next time they try and snicker, I'll punch them in the gut!" Clarisse smirked.
"That's the spirit!"
Clarisse turned to face him. "I'm sorry. I should be acting a bit more proper in our relationship. Maybe kiss you more?"
Chris smiled. "I would love that."
"Well, today's session ends now. You can go!"
"Yes!" Percy and Annabeth shouted happily.
No more sessions! Woohoo!
"Thank goodness!" Piper said in relief. "No more mom embarrassing me!"
"Well, thank you for having me," Katie said.
"And me!" Travis added.
"Yay!" Clarisse did her happy dance. "No more couples session time." She punched the air. "Beat that!"
"But since you guys fought, you'll come back next week for another session!"
"What?" Percy asked stunned.
"NO!" whimpered Piper. "There might be even more 'Mom trying to embarrass me,' moments!"
"Great. Just great," Travis said emotionlessly.
"NOOO! I thought all problems were fixed!" Clarisse cried out.
"That's it on 'Aphrodite's Couples Therapy!' Come back in the next three days for the next episode, featuring four different and new couples. Aphrodite out! Spread the love, people!"
Credits
Host: Aphrodite, goddess of love.
Featured Couples: Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase, Jason Grace and Piper McLean, Travis Stoll and Katie Gardner, and Chris Rodriguez and Clarisse La Rue.
Camera Man: Cupid Statue #23.
Staff: Cupid Statues.
(A/N: Next scenes are cut-out/blooper scenes.)
"Again, why are we here?" Percy asked in annoyance.
"Aphrodite's blackmail," Annabeth replied.
"Oh." Percy blinked. "Can we soak her with water?"
"No, we can't. She'll meddle with—actually, of course, we can. Why don't you"—she smirked evilly—"go ahead, Percy?"
"Mom, did you just changed my clothes!?" Piper yelled, looking at the fabric surround her body. Then, she took out a compact mirror. "Ahhhh! Makeup! Why you on my face?"
"Are we going to get any food?" Travis moaned hungrily. Then, he noticed the snack bar hiding in the back. "Ooh, burgers! Gimmie!"
"Clarisse, did you seriously had to bring your spear?" asked Chris. "It's Olympus; not the mortal world. There's no monsters here."
Then, a cupid statue comes by, talking into a head mic. He stops his talking, growls, and tries to claw Chris.
In fear of his life, he widened his eyes and stepped behind Clarisse.
"Okay, good call on the spear!"
Jason sighed. "Piper, no need to get mad at your mom. Aphrodite has a mind of her own and we should ignore it. At least she's not in Venus mode right now; that would be scary as hell." He grimaced, remembering his visit with Lady Venus.
"Um, can I get a glass of water?" Travis asked, after consuming most of the snack bar. "No? Okay, well. I'll go and find Katie-Kat, I'm sure she brought a bottle of water." He searches for her but she's nowhere to be found. "Katie. Katie! Katie! Katie, where did you go!?"
Brought to you by Hephaestus TV.
Aftermath
Over 6.5 million views.
He couldn't believe it! Aphrodite's project actually worked! His wife saved his channel from going out of business! He definitely will apologize for doubting her when she gets home.
A/N: Episode #1 complete :D
Hoped you liked it!
#1 Revision: May 17, 2016