Title: Three words and a life
Author: Tristana
Disclaimer: Is Death Note a yaoi manga? No? Then I don't own Death Note, nor the characters. But the twisted imagination is mine and only mine - not for sale!
WARNING: SPOILER CHAPTER 58!!! So press the red button to get back if you haven't read it!
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-waits for everyone to press the button-
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Right, in this story, this is - mainly - L POV except for the "", which are Raito's thoughts. (At least, i think so, because I wrote it some time ago, so I don't really remember.)
Anyway, I like this one (I don't know why but I love the word 'shatter'... It makes me hear some breaking sound, like crystal and- Okay, Raito, don't write my name on your notebook! I'll stop babbling right away! goes and hides self
Please, read and tell me what do you think about this one.
Three words and a life
"I feel like shattered glass, irremediably broken. Nothing will ever fix me. You are crying… This is the first time I see you cry. Why? Is it too difficult to give me a hint about what you see? My heart burn down to ashes as I wonder… Are you the one I am looking for? I am waiting but the truth plays hide-and-seek, I can't take it anymore. Please, speak to me, even if it's the last time before I die, once and for all. As I watch through the window, I see nothing but a veiled awareness, as if I already know what will happen."
I tried to believe you. I wanted to. To clear my mind. But it doesn't clear anything… "I am the one you are looking for. I am the cold-blooded murderer. I am Death with an angel face; I am sin beneath a virtuous face." Heaven's a lie but I wanted to believe it… An angel… How can you be so dark inside? Perfect enemy…
I suffered like hell to prove I am right. I wandered on crooked path just to see the real you. My first and only real challenge. I took my chance and fight you, but seems like fate were against me… I wanted to free you from this whirl only to get trapped too. There's no salvation as we run eagerly to our fate, like children unaware that they'll die someday.
Dance of powerful wits, we were never too tired to play our mind game. I my life wasn't at stake, I may have really enjoyed it. Why did you only smile when I died? I wanted you to smile to me. A real smile, the kind that warm you up and comfort you while everything seems so hopeless. But now, you are crying. And I know they're no artificial tears. Your grief is overwhelming, but you still velieve it's all an act. But you'll understand why did you cry on that fateful day, and why you still cry when you are standing by my grave. Because the Light lost against Evil, and there's nothing you can do, except, in short moments of lucidity, a painful awareness creep up your body and fill your heart. A heart now definitely frozen.
You know there's no get away… I can't escape. And every year you come and stand here in the chilly wind, your tears washing away the one you've become. But this is not my murdere that I see, this is the man I loved. I've never lover before, you know? I didn't even believed that such a concept could be applied to me. Have I had been less dense, you may not had lost. And we weren't mourning for past times across by the barrier of life and death. We weren't thinking of ourselves as fools. Because you would have won, and we would be here together… But awareness dawned on me too late and you lost against you evil twin before I could even tell you what I feel.
I am standing beside you but you can't see me. I wish you could hear my breathe heavy with bitter tears. I long to lay my hand on your shoulder, to tell you it is not your fault, that I don't hate you. I want to hold you close to me and hear your heart beating calmly against my chest. Why can I not lay my head down on your shoulder and let myself being drawn by your warmth. You seem as cold as I am.
I extend my arm to touch you, but as my hand caressed softly your shoulder, you shuddered and tears flowed wild. You turned around but I felt myself disappearing as your gaze set on me. Do you see me? You uttered my name, the name you called me. I felt my own eyes stinging and my vision blurred as I saw your lips forming those three single words, those words that mean so much to me. And I uttered them back, my frail voice cracking on the last. You couldn't hear me and felt myself disappearing. Three words… and it took me my last breath to understand…
I love you, Yagami Raito…
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Thank you for reading!