Author's Note: Just a one shot I felt like writing. Inspired by the song, Cold by Crossfade. It's not much but I hope you like it as much as I do. :)

Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannnot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me high

What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

To you, I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand on my own again
Cause now i can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high

I never meant to be so cold

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me theres just no hope

I stand here, hands in my pocket, leaning against the doorframe of our bedroom, as you hurriedly pack up your things, oblivious to my scrutiny. Your fiery red hair that I know smells like roses hangs like a curtain over your face, hiding what I know for sure are your tearstained cheeks and puffy, red eyes. You shudder and sniff and I suddenly realize that you are still crying. I feel like I can't just stand here and watch any longer.

"Going somewhere, Gin?"

You jump, startled as you turn to face me, your hair flying vividly around you, like a halo of red, as you do so. You look at me with wide eyes, tears still steadily streaming down your face.

"I know, Draco," you say in a shaky, soft voice.

I frown, not quite comprehending what you're talking about.

"Don't act like you don't know anything, Draco," you say loudly, your eyes flashing with anger. "You joined the Order but you've not turned your back on the Dark Lord."

I remain silent. I can't deny it. You already know. I'm just going to have to deal with that.

"You're only using me to spy on the Order," you begin again. "And ocassionally for a good fuck with fiery little Ginny," you continue bitterly.

I grab you roughly by your arms, enraged at your accusations and assumptions. I glare deep into your chocolate eyes that was full of anger, wanting you to fear me but your eyes remained angry and unfeeling. I could never really intimidate you anyway. You never were afraid of me. You then shove me away with surprising strength but then again you had always been strong.

"See? You don't even deny it," you say in a low voice that over time, I've come to know was the voice you always used when you are teetering over the edge.

"I won't deny that at first I was using you to spy on the Order," I say and a surprised expression clouds your face for a moment before returning to anger. "But fucking you wasn't just fucking you. My feelings for you is the only truth among the lies I've told you."

You look at me with wide eyes that are glistening with unshed tears.

"Then why do you still work for him?" you implore with pleading eyes.

"Because he'll kill you if I don't," I say.

"You sacrifice the Order, my family, just so I can live?" you ask incredulously.

I could not hide my surprise.

"Don't you want to live?" I ask.

"You never thought that I would be as good as dead without my family? Without the people that love me for who I am?"

Your words cut through my like a kinife, stabbing through my chest repeatedly.

"But I thought," I stutter. "I thought my love for you would be good enough."

You scoff, sending a jolt of pain through me.

"How can you say that when you're always never here with me?"

"That's not true, I was-"

But you cut across me.

"You didn't even know that Fred had died. Or that your own cousin, Tonks, had died as well!"

I stand there, gaping. Fred? Tonks? Dead?

"You're never home and when you are, you're always too exhausted and cold towards me, leading me to think that you've been having affairs."

"But I haven't been having affairs-"

You cut across me again.

"No, you've been doing something far worse."

"Ginny, do you know how much I've gone through to keep you alive?"

"Aren't you listening? I don't care anymore, Draco!"

"Why, Ginny?" I'm shouting now. Desperate for you to see reason. "Don't you know that you're the only reason I keep trying to stay alive every night he calls me to kill? Don't you know that you're the only one that's keeping me alive?"

"You've been too distant for too long, Draco. I'm tired of your lies and I'm tired of waiting. You took advantage of the fact that I'll always be waiting here at home but I've just had enough."

"Don't you love me?" I asked softly, feeling broken and empty inside. You look at me with sad eyes and to my horror, you shake your head gently.

"I used to, Draco," you say softly. "But I can't love a man working for the one I'm fighting so hard against."

"I'll leave it all behind, Ginny, I promise. Just don't go," I say, desperate and frantic now.

"It's just too late, Draco," you say. "I'm exhausted. Physically and emotionally."

With that you turn around, grab your trunk and without so much as a last glance, you apparate away with the most painful 'pop' that I've ever heard in my whole life, leabing me broken and as good as dead.

I love you but I can't blame you for leaving.

I love you but I know I've gone too far away.

I love you and you'll never know just how much I do.

I can't stand the silence in what used to be our apartment.Your overpowering scent and presence lingers and I can taste the salty tears streaming down my face. And I couldn't help what happened next.

I left our apartment an hour later which was engulfed in flames. The emptiness that I was feeling inside can never be filled by anyone else but you.

But you're gone.

And it was all my fault.

I'm sorry, Ginny, I never meant to be so cold.

I apparated, numb and devoid of emotion.

And as I arrived at the Riddle Mansion, I bowed down at his feet and vowed never to see or think of you again.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling.