Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

F.Y.I: I tweaked a few things.

Summary: Don't really know so let's see what I can do with just the idea that Voldemort is Harry's Daddy.

As the last few days pass by slow I keep replaying the conversation over and over again in my head. It makes sense, I guess, why the Weasley's were there at the platform. Mrs. Weasley hollering up a storm about what platform it was and with all these muggles. I wish sometimes that I could just block it out, what I heard. Other times I'm so angry that I just want to curse the world and tell them to fight for themselves and seal myself away from them. With what I overheard I don't know what to believe anymore. While doing my chores around my Aunt and Uncle's I've had a lot of time to think. About what I want. I want a family. Someone to love intimately, to have a big back yard filled with my children and grandchildren. To have that would be a dream come true.

Instead I live with people that hate my guts, friends that spy on me for the order, and not to even mention what I learned about the so called dark side. Apparently when Mum cast that charm to protect me with her blood she didn't count in the fact that it had to be cast a month prior. Instead it was only a week that the charm was cast and in doing so the blast of power that Voldemort shot at me changed me. You see when a powerful blast of pure magic is mixed with a certain charm, like the one my mum used, it changes a child. Now James is no longer my dad but instead Voldemort is.

I don't know for sure how it is but when I heard Hermione trying to explain it to Ron one night when they thought I'd already left for a detention with Snape I didn't want to believe it but for some reason it made sense. Just to think that if I didn't turn back to get my bag form the common room I would have never known about the secret Order meetings behind the tapestry. Would I have just gone on through the life Dumbledore planed out for me? Would I would have died at the end just like he is planning? I almost missed them to if I didn't hear them talking "You don't get it Hermione he wakes me up every time" "Your just going to have to ignore it" "How can I when it's all about him all the time" "We can try talking to Dumbledore after the meeting but hush were almost there". I was about to call out to them but I was confused and kind of hurt that Ron thought that but it was only the beginning of a whole new kind of abuse I had yet to receive. Betrayal. I knew from the get-go that my relative's didn't care shit for me but to actually love another as a brother and sister then them back-stab, me I felt numb. Like I was unattached from the dark corner I was hiding in.

Questions with no answers is what I have. With no way to know if it's true or not I can't help but think of what would happen if I sent him a letter.

What would I say, if I really did write him? {Dear Dad} Nope. {Hey Voldy umm so here's the thing your my pops} No. After getting clean and fixing them dinner I went to my bedroom and fell asleep as soon as I hit the pillow but I guess even in my sleep I can't get away from my questions. Tossing and turning all night with dreams of him finding out and killing me. When I woke the next morning my scar was hurting but I ignored it so that I could get up and fix the Dursley's their breakfast. As soon as I got into the kitchen I got set on making them their food. I could feel chills on my arms and neck, like someone was watching me, I brushed it off as I heard them getting up and hurried to set the table as the food was almost done.

"Boy what is wrong with you, don't you have breakfast ready yet!" Uncle Vernon said as he came in tying his robe with Aunt Petunia and Dudley behind them.

"Nearly Uncle Vernon." I ducked my head as he walked by to pick up his paper but caught Dudley's half smile so I sent a small one back.

"Dad I need some money for school shopping." Dudley said as he sat down in a chair picking at a couple of fruits. He's really changed a lot in the past year, loss of weight, gain of muscle, and he didn't have the same beady blue eyes as his Father instead they were a deep blue in a tan body. Ever sense I came back from school he's been different with me, even apologized to me about my life. Yeah after the Dementors we came to an understanding but it's when I got back that he apologized for all the torment he did to me. Asked if we could try to be friends, and I said we couldn't because I am afraid I'll be betrayed again by a friend. He said he'd give me the time I need. Of course the conversation didn't go that simple there was yelling, punches on my part, and crying on both parts. He just stood there and let me hit him and didn't even go to Vernon afterwards. So we started to hang out a little here and there. Going for one of his runs together or play fighting, even went swimming with him once. He's really made an effort to not only be my friend but to be a better person and I can honestly say that I care about my cousin.

"Dudley I thought we could go together like we do every year." Aunt Petunia put her napkin down after dabbing at her mouth.

"All the other guys don't have their mums there." He said while looking like he wanted to be somewhere else right then. I lifted my brow while smirking at him, showing him that I was deeply amused. "Plus I have to take Harry with me."

I froze. What? That little wanker is diverting their attention from him to me. He knows that they love beating me up for no reason, love to 'put me in my place' as they call it. I suddenly feel a pain in my chest. One where I couldn't breathe, I was being betrayed by someone I didn't even realize that I had let in.

"I mean come on its embarrassing enough to see him in those clothes but for my friends to see them too? Mum you have to admit that the neighbors have been talking." Petunia jerked her head from me to Dudley so fast that I am surprised she didn't get whiplash. Vernon was back to looking at his son and was slowly eating again, can't he ever stop for just two minutes. "Yesterday I could over hear Mrs. Bole and Mrs. Jeers talking about his clothes they thought he was just in a stage for those kind of clothes but now they are wondering if he has a choice in what he wears."

"The neighbor's... we can't have that, oh Vernon what am I to do!" Petunia looked as if she was going into a panic attack while she rushed to the window to check outside.

"Let the boy go I know Dudley can handle the freak." little bits of food sprayed out of his mouth making my stomach feel sick. I thought of Ron and that was just not what I wanted to think about so I turned around.

"So we can go, Harry are you ready cause I want to also make it to the gym before dinner."

"Yeah I'm ready." I put down the towel I had started to ring and made my way out of the house before they could say anything to me but it looked like they were still busy.

"So you ready for a guy's day?" Dudley smiled at me as he hopped into the new car he was bought.

"You bet. I can't believe you actually got them to... you would have been a great Slytherin." I said as I rolled my window down while grabbing my shoulder length hair and pushing it into a low ponytail.

"Hey back when I said I would take you with me you froze up, why?" he glanced at me and then looked like he wanted to apologize but I cut him off.

"I did freeze up but that's only because I thought you was going to hurt me too." I managed a quick glance at him before sighing "Remember when I told you that I didn't want to trust anyone because I had been betrayed? Well I let you in and I didn't even know I had. Ron and the Weasley's are just my friends because they were told to be my friends, Hermione didn't want to be my friend once she found out I was Harry Potter but because she was so great and brainy Dumbledore wanted her to be my friend. Or should I say spy? I don't know if Sirius was truly there for me and to top it off I think Dumbledore made sure Voldemort killed my parents because the prophecy was a fake. Oh no I got one better how about Voldemort being my dad cause of some freak accident."

I felt a tear run down my face before I could wipe it away.

"Why didn't she want to be your friend? Why did Dumbledore want someone brainy to hang around with you?"

"She didn't want to know me because she like Snape thought I was a spoiled little brat and with all the stuff Dumbledore puts me through." I sighed as I leaned my head back and felt the wind on my face.

"Okay what prophecy and what do you mean that Voldemort is your dad?" I opened my eyes to see us getting off the turnpike to the strip.

"It's like this, Dumbledore didn't know what Voldemort's next plan was so he sacrificed two people, my parents, for the greater good and in doing so unknowingly gave me a father that wants to kill me."

As we parked he glanced at me and did it for five more times till I finally broke.

"Look I know that its weird shopping with me now so I'll meet you back here in an hour so we can go back." Before I could say or do anything else he was talking.

"It's not that it's just I wanted to have cousin time, this is our day and I didn't want to say 'well don't think about it now cause I want to have a good time with you before you go back to that school'. That almost sounded okay but the end needed a little bit of work." I snorted while saying 'a little' "Yes a little and if you keep that up we won't be able to make your hair appointment."

"There's nothing wrong with my hair." I pouted while trying to not let my cousin see me try to pat it down.

"Are you sure." he laughed as he went into a store first.

After getting a lot of clothes that I paid for with my own money {cause I made the point that the money was Vernon's and I didn't want anything of that man's}. We walked along the strip and I was drugged into a store for tattoos and piercings. After that there were several more shops. They cut my hair till it reached my ears with it a little longer in front, left ear pierced and bottom lip snake bite ring piercings, tight hip huggers, shirts that look like muscle shirts, black belts with different colored converse, even a few wristbands. I also thought it would be a good idea to talk Dudley into getting dinner instead of me making it and on the way to his home we stopped and got pizza.