Disclaimer: I don't own anything

My mentor, Finnick Odair and I force our way through the throng of reporters and paparazzi on our way to the train that will take me back to my home in District 4. I miss it there, but it'll be too different without Hydra.

"Hydra..." I think and I am overcome with memories from the Games.

The bloodbath...

The feast...

Hydra's head rolling down the hill, blood dripping onto my face from Martin, the District 6 male's, sword.

Screaming and running.

"Annie! It's okay, you're safe now!" I'm suddenly brought back to reality by Finnick's hands on my face.

"I'm sorry." I say, but am drowned out by the people still surrounding us. He grabs my hands and helps me to my feet.

"Miss Cresta, are you as mad as they say?"

"What was with that there?"

"Tell us! Are you crazy?" A tear escapes my eye as they ask all of these personal questions that I don't want to answer. I don't want to admit that I'm crazy. That wouldn't be very Career-like of me.

Finally we make it to the taped-off stairs leading to the train. Inside, it's cozy. The living area is all made up for me. Food is on platters, electric fireplace on.

"Annie, darling! Congratulations!" District 4's escort, Estacia Goldfront, appears, seemingly from now where and hands me a box. "Well, open it!" It's a magnet saying "Victor."

"Thank you." I say, even though I don't mean it and have no use for a magnet. Still, she seems to have put thought into it.

"Why don't we go have a bite to eat?" Suggests Estacia. Finnick shrugs but I shake my head.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to go rest." I turn and walk towards my assigned room. It looks just like the room I had at the Training Centre, only grander. Stripping down into just my underwear I climb into the soft bed and shut my eyes.

Sleep comes easily, but my dreams are plagued with images from the arena. I can see the dam breaking. I relive Hydra's decapitation vividly, feel Martin's blood spray onto my clothes when I stabbed him through the side of his neck, because it was the only place I could attack from my angle.

I wake up in a cold sweat, gasping for air. I toss back the covers and race to the bathroom, taking off the remainder of my clothes on the way.

Turning on the shower as hot as I can get it, I scrub at my skin to try and get rid of the dirt and blood I can feel on myself. When I look, all I can see is raw flesh, but I know, I know, that there is something dirty beneath the surface.

"I killed a person." My body is racked with sobs as the realization hits me, that I'm now a murderer. That I took a life, took away that boy's chance of ever getting married, having kids, having a future.

I try and reason with myself. "He was trying to kill you, you did what you had to do." But I am not convinced. There's no justifying murder.

I shut off the shower and sit in the tub, still clawing at my arms and legs before screaming. Screaming at the top of my lungs. Screaming obscenities at nothing in particular. Crying and apologizing to my dead district partner for not being fast enough to save his life. I can hear Mags, the old woman who mentored Hydra knock at my door.

"Honey, are you okay?"

"Leave me alone!" I yell at her and whip a hairbrush at the door. I temporarily feel bad for being cruel, but is quickly replaced with more self-hatred.

I am left alone for what seems like forever, scratching my naked body and sobbing before I hear a door click open. Finnick walks in calmly, stands me up, and pulls a pink nightgown over my messy hair. He then leads me back to my bed and tucks me in.

"I'm so sorry." I say to him. "For everything." But he just shakes his head.

"Don't be." He leans down, kisses my forehead and leaves my room. I'm left to wallow in some self-created pit of despair that I know I can't crawl out from. I'm sure, though, from his recent acts, that Finnick will be there to pull me out whenever I need him to.

Author's Note: First fanfic so it probably sucks... Reviews are appreciated