something in the midst of it all
summary: It's not the first time she's said it, but it's the last time they ever hear her say it. / Or, "Your parents are dead, little baby." V/D First of an AU drabble series.
a/n: As said, it's AU. I'm ignoring the events of three and four, so Ripley, Hicks, Newt, and Bishop are very much alive. I own nothing but my OCs. Flashbacks are pre-Aliens, and otherwise the present time is obviously after the film events. I'd also like to add that I was inspired from these Hunger Games one shots called 'Bay-verse' one shots by BerryliciousCheerio. Her writing is so stunning, I make an immediate reccomendation to see her if you're a fan of HG and specifically the Cato/Clove pairing.
xxx
"Carmen?"
"Yeah?"
There was a momentary pause between the the conversation on the phone. Though Carmen could not physically see her sister right now, she caught the vibe of anxiousness, almost worry. Fear? But...this was her sister, her fearless sister. 'If that were so,' Carmen thought to herself, heart lurching. 'then this shit must be pretty bad.'
Finally a deep breath.
"So um, what if I told you that you were going to be an aunt?"
xxx
Her sister is not dead. The most influential and important woman to her is not lost. That private with love for smartguns is not deceased.
No many how many times Carmen Vasquez attempts to reword the situation she doesn't want to believe, it doesn't change anything at all. After all, just because you don't believe doesn't make it unreal.
She hears the noise of gurggling giggles and glances to the fourteen month old baby who is so mindlessly entertained by some stuffed animal that squeaks when you squeeze it.
(The mother of her niece is not dead.)
xxx
"You need to be like me little Carmen. Be ready to kick some ass and take some. Anytime, Anywhere."
"I pwomise Jenette. I wanna be just like you in fact! You're the coolest, bwavest, toughest sister ever!"
xxx
Later that night, when the noise had died down and the young dark haired girl was sound asleep, Carmen sat cross legged on the couch inside her small apartment. It felt as if the walls encaved, ready to collapse at any sudden moment, and all of Carmen's time for a chance to escape had run out. She was suffocating and felt so heavy, as if weighed down by sand bags.
This feeling was all too familiar to her. And it became stronger than ever when she realized this was the feeling she had whenever she tried to be like her sister. Be just like her fearlessly tough as nails sister when facing the hardest and most painful times, be just like her sister and never break down, but she just can't. She's not her sister, she is only herself.
So finally, she gave in and allowed herself to cry.
(And she then wonders if Jenette had ever felt this feeling often for as many hardships she had been through.)
xxx
"Ooh! Star-crossed adoring soul mate lovers bound for a blissful fairytale marriage and gorgeous children. How adorable!"
"Drake and I are just friends. Kapeesh? But Carmen, god bless you're being sarcastic right now. "
"No, Just predicting the obvious future."
"Scratch that. You're hopelessly ignorant."
xxx
It wasn't just her sister on top of that. Oh no, that whole mission turned out to be a fucking catastrophe! Almost everyone was dead, including him. Mark Drake, the man she constantly joked about being her future brother in law.
He was the greatest thing to come to her sister's life. And anything that made her sister happy made Carmen ecstatic.
(She wonders if they died separately. That must've been the worst pain for Jenette during the final hours of her life, and anything that hurts her sister kills a bit of Carmen on the inside.)
xxx
"What if something happens to me and Drake? Like, what if we don't come back?"
"Jenette! ¿Qué demonios?"
"Hear me out, alright! I just need to know something...Carmen, you'd take care of her if something happened to me and Drake, right?"
"I...absolutely. Of course."
xxx
"Your parents are dead, little baby."
As if it would ever be that easy.
The little girl, who has now officially mastered sitting up on her own, is doing as so early in the morning when Carmen comes by to check on her. In fact, the news left Carmen inable to sleep for the night, so she preoccupied herself with checking in on the child often. The news comes across innocently to the youngling's mind that is unable to understand. She just can't understand anything at all.
She doesn't realize she's now an orphan. Her mother and father, the bravest people she could've known, had died for her. She doesn't realize they've left her in the arms of her barely nineteen year old, naïve, inexperienced aunt.
(She doesn't realize the evils that lie out there, even beyond space.)
xxx
"Mamá te ama tanto, y Papá te ama tanto. Mi niña preciosa, hermoso bebé. Estaremos de vuelta muy pronto, lo prometo."
"God I love you so much, Maria."
"Mama." the baby cooes, though not for the first time. This is however, the last time both Vasquez and Drake will hear it, as they almost heart brokenly hand her to Carmen. Seconds later, she's screaming like bloody murder, crying her eyes out, and trying to cling back on to either one of her parents as if she felt like she would never see them again.
xxx
God, she looks so much like her mother.
The morning goes by so slowly just to torture Carmen, so she tries to make the best of it and realizes the details of her niece's young face. It's a more softened version of her mother's. Smooth, round, filled with such youth and innocence. It's the same warmly tanned skin color, and her headfull of her is the same curly jet black too,
Then Carmen realizes, probably truly, that those blue eyes Maria has are the exact same color as her father's. Good god, it really is the exact same sky blue color.
But in those eyes, deep in those orbs, is the same fiery spirit as her mother. Carmen just knows it, Maria will be stubborn, a Hellraiser, everything of her mother wrapped into one neat package, and that almost makes her smile.
(Almost.)
xxx
"But- but- you just can't! Dammit Jenette, you can't go!"
"It's a same old-same old type. A search and rescue mission Carmen, that's all. I'm a Colonial Marine, I have my duties."
"And you've also got duties as a mother."
xxx
Apparently, Maria is not the only one now orphaned as a result of the tragedy on LV-426.
Carmen doesn't know why, but she finds herself wanting to bring her niece to this dedication ceremony to the fallen Colonial Marines, which is more or less a fueneral that she herself didn't want to go to anyways. She knows those from the company will have the nerve to show up, with claims they've changed their ways, and her heart flaters with disgust. Perhaps some are meaningful, but the others are nothing but filthy liars.
The small grieving families have made small crowds of their own. Some are holdinh back tears, others look regretful and wish they weren't here, and one young man in particular looks like he's had a rough week and nursing a hangover. Probably lost his wife on this tragedy, and then started a new affair with alcohol to deal with the pain.
Then there's the worst sight that brings Carmen to a complete halt from the mindless wanderings she's doing as someone drones on a speech. Way in the back, almost isolated, is a woman who may have been in her early fifties. And never had Carmen ever seen such pure hopelessness upon someone's face until seeing this woman's face now. In her arms she balances a dark brown curly haired baby boy, who's eyes were glistened with tears. From common sense Carmen knows this child is not the woman's, but probably her grandson. This boy is far younger than Maria too, probably not even six months old, and probably carries no memories of his fallen parents...
She learns his name is Jonathan, whose parents were two dropship pilots from that mission. She doesn't learn their names though. But like Maria, he his parents loved him deeply and cherished every moment of their short lived happiness as a new family. Like Maria, he probably remebers few or none of these memories. Like Maria, he is now an orphan but isn't aware f that for now.
(Carmen wonders if they'll ever become childhood friends. They've already got so many personal similarities to start with anyways.)
xxx
"You know Carmen, you really are notorious for looking like the spitting image of Jenette."
"Ah same bodies, but different minds, Drakie boy. Trust me. So I hear you and your brother look alike. Same minds too?"
"Touché."
xxx
Carmen stands alone by herself, recognizing a few faces or so. Anthony Drake, Mark's older brother, stands with a coldly solemn face as he holds one of his sleepy twin boys in his arms. They do not approach one another, they do no greet each other, in fact they never once physically speak to each other. Come to think of it, Carmen can't recall a time they ever really had a proper meeting.
They do, however, exchange a glancing moment to one another that felt like an eternity. An exchange of sympathy, empathy, sorrow, pain, dread, and loss.
'My brother...he loved your sister. He really did, until the end.'
'My sister's dead, and she loved your brother. Deeply. Now I guess we have some common ground.'
They then part ways and don't look back.
(And that is the last time Carmen Vasquez ever sees Anthony Drake.)
xxx
"Carmen Vasquez? If you aren't busy, may we come in?"
"Sure What is it? Is everything alright?"
"Unfortunately no. I regret to inform you that your sister, Private Jenette Vasquez, is-"
"No!... NO! No no no!"
Silence and broken sobs right then and there, as she collapsed onto the couch with her face buried in her hands. It is enough to startle Maria and glance worriedly in fear of her aunt making these loud noises. Finally, with her face still buried in her hands, Carmen dared to not face the soldier as she spoke in a quiet, hoarse voice;
"She's dead, isn't she?"
"I'm so sorry ma'am."
xxx
Finally, after what felt like hours, the ceremony ended. One family in particular seemed as if they were relieved because they couldn't bear it any longer, and immediately made a hasty exit. The hopeless faced grandmother and Jonathan disappear from the crowds and exit soon after as well.
It isn't hard for Carmen to peer out those representatives from that Weyland-Yutani company. They were all dressed in montone colors, with expressionless or coldly distant looks on their faces, and speak in hushed voices. It's as if they do not care for the weeping families, have no intiative to go and apologize to them each and every one personally, but almost prefer to not really be noticed. Like they're only here because it's for the best, not because they want to. Not that they really care at all.
And Carmen absolutely hates them all. They're not all directly responsible for her sister and so many other's deaths. They didn't physically murder each and every single one of them, but they played a part out of their corruption and greed. The big name and cash at the hip are the only cards these people have to play as a defense to how they differ otherwise from the heartless creatures that really did all the dirty work. All Carmen wants to do is somehow get right back at them.
Then Maria cries. Carmen doesn't know why, but the little girl just begins to quiver her lip and then sob. It's like she's suddenly aware of this place and the people, or the senses overwhelming aura of sadness. For whatever reason, it catches the attention of those Weyland-Yutani representatives.
Their glances are glassy but mesmerized at the infant girl. It's like they've never seen a baby before, then it looks as though they're in a bit of awe because of how pretty she is, and then it falters. They can tell that the girl in Carmen's arms isn't hers. And they almost look ashamed and guilty, which makes Carmen want to scoff. What? Had they not thought that perhaps these people that were going to die had families? Someone's wife, somebody's brother, someone's best friend, everyone here lost a someone. In Maria's case, she has lost her mother and father.
Maybe some of these representatives are parents. Maybe they love their own parents deeply. Maybe they just feel sorry for this beautiful but sobbing infant girl, the daughter of two fallen Marines.
Some excuse themselves or look away, while others simply just can't. For whatever reason, it turns out they feel upset, or have come to realize just now how inhuman some people really are out there.
(Maria's cries become louder, almost as if purposely even though Carmen attempts soothing her, and Carmen thinks of this as a little revenge to the company.)
xxx
"Hey Carmen?" he says as he approaches her in the waiting room, looking weary, relieved from long hours of stress, and absolutely tired as hell.
"Yeah Mark?" she says not wanting to keep him waiting due to her anxiousness, excitement, and the fact it looked as though he were going to pass out any minute
"Would you like to meet your niece and goddaughter, Maria Cynthia Vasquez-Drake?"
xxx
It's also a little ironic that the last time Carmen ever sees Anthony, it is the first time she ever meets Ellen Ripley.
The meeting is conincidental. She finds Dwayne Hicks, looking sweet mannered but in pain. There are also recent scars across his face and body, especially noticable when he smiles, but is otherwise still the somewhat same. At the same time Carmen gives Maria over to his arms to greet, he introduces Carmen to Ripley, who is a woman with the looks of someone who's been to Hell and back, and the conversation is short and bittersweet.
"Keep in touch?" Ripley offers with a small smile. Carmen shrugs, deciding so. She looks like she'll end up being Dwayne's wife pretty soon, and someone with plenty of maternal advice to share judging from how affectionate she is to the shy little blond girl who clings to her.
"Yeah. I mean, I figure Maria will want to see her godfather often." Carmen says, her deep brown eyes reflecting sadly to Dwayne and the now quickly falling asleep girl. The feeling is mutual, with Dwayne making the slightest of a nod, remembering Drake's very words.
('Hicks old buddy old pal old friend of mine! What would you do if I told you we wanted you as my kid's godfather?')
xxx
"Be careful okay?"
"Hey, it is us, remember? We'll be fine."
xxx
She said to her face herself. With assurance, no, confidence. They'd be fine, everything would be just fine, everything will be alright. Safe and sound.
Maybe that's why she couldn't believe the news at all. Because it's them. They could take perfect care of themselves, and they were perfectly fine before leaving. They were supposed to come back just the same as well.
(That's how it was supposed to go.)
xxx
"Jenette, you awe the bestest sister ever. I love you."
"I love you too, squirt."
xxx
Come to think of it, Carmen cannot remember whether or not the two sisters exchanged words of love the last time they ever saw each other.
At least they already knew, so maybe that's what counts, right?
(Right?)
xxx
"Alright, so going with what you said and pretend something happened to the both of you. It's not like it'd be out of vain, it'd be out of heroism, bravery, and-"
"- The most painful sacrifice for the best. For so many others. For Maria."
xxx
"Just at least try to understand little one, it wasn't out of vain. It wasn't out of foolishness, stupidity, or suicide. They loved you so much, so they died for you, so you could live in a safer and happier world. But they didn't want to leave you."
Like saying that either will be easy.
The fourteen month old simply blinks her large blue eyes curiously, not sure what her silly Tía was babbling about. She merely cocks her head to one side before giving a small bubbly smile, before going on obliviously like nothing mattered.
(Oh but it does. She has no idea how much it does.)
xxx
"Sé fuerte, sé fuerte y valiente. No importa qué, mamá y papá siempre estarán contigo, y siempre estaremos muy orgullosos de ti. Y siempre te amaré..."
xxx
For a reason Carmen will never know, Maria slept so peacefully and easily through the next three years of her life. Never once would she fidget, and rarely did she ever cry.
She had no idea the words whispered from mother to daughter echoed in Maria's ears, soothing her because any child recognizes their mother's voice, like she's almost convinced her mother and her father really are there.
Almost.
In a sense, somehow the baby knows. Carmen is certain maybe a part deep down realizes this. Her parents are 'gone forever', or 'are not coming back', or for the light hearted sake 'waiting for her one day in a happy place she will someday join with them'. In a sense the baby knows these echoes are just faint memories and nothing more.
(But maybe it's enough for now.)
xxx
End
xxx
Translations
Qué demonios?- What the hell?
Mamá te ama tanto, y Papá te ama tanto. Mi niña preciosa, hermoso bebé. Estaremos de vuelta muy pronto, lo prometo.
-Mommy loves you so much, and Daddy loves you so much. My precious girl, beautiful baby. We'll be back very soon, I promise.
Sé fuerte, sé seguros y valiente. No importa qué, mamá y papá siempre estarán contigo, y siempre estaremos muy orgullosos de ti. Y siempre te amaré
-Be strong, be safe, and courageous. No matter what, Mommy and Daddy will always be with you, and will always be very proud of you. And always love you.
last note: Kinda seems cheesy, huh? *flushes* Oh well, I enjoyed writing it very much. I just hope I don't get reviews like 'OMG, WTF? This is so AU, weird, and stupid. Please die.' Sigh. Be strong, be strong and courageous. No matter what, Mom and Dad will always be with you, and will always be very proud of you. And always love youThe one shots will explore more on this little Maria here, and they will get darker and not so happy. Free cookies to anyone who can guess who Johnny's parents are. :)