A/N: I do not own the WWE or any of its brands or likenesses. I also do not own Jeff Hardy or Matt Hardy but it would be awesome if I did. I do not own the song "What I've Done"; Linkin Park does. Much props to them for an amazing song.
What I've Done
In this farewell,
There's no blood,
There's no alibi.
'Cause I've drawn regret,
From the truth,
Of a thousand lies.
Jeff Hardy sat on the uncomfortable cot, his knees drawn up to his chest. He watched a spider crawl idly across the stained brick wall of the holding cell through heavy-lidded eyes, his mouth open slightly. His multi-colored hair hung limply around his face, drenched with sweat. He found that he sweat a lot while the drugs left his system and that made the cops that brought him in disgusted beyond belief. One of them had even pulled a mini bottle of hand sanitizer out of his pocket after throwing him roughly in here and proceeded to scrub his hands until they were bright red. As if being a drug-addict was contagious. Jeff had laughed at that, still high as a kite.
But now his high was wearing off, and Jeff realized just how much trouble he was in. Matt's gonna kill me, he thought solemnly.
So let mercy come,
And wash away,
After what was probably a half hour of watching the spider trek across the immense wall and playing "Guess Where This Stain Came From", the door to the holding cell slid open and a female officer peered in at him. "Jeff," she called, motioning for him to get up and walk over to her, "you can have your one phone call now."
Jeff went to her and she cuffed him and led him down a long hallway to a phone set in the wall at the end. The cop removed the cuffs and told him, "You get one call." Jeff nodded his head to show her that he understood and pulled the receiver out of the cradle. His fingers hovered over the buttons, and his stomach twisted when he thought about who he was about to call and what he would say. Then he dialed the familiar numbers and waited.
He picked up right on the first ring, just as Jeff knew he would. "Hello?"
"Matt, it's me."
"Jeff? Where are you? I've been calling and calling your house and you didn't answer. I was getting worried."
"Matt, I—" Jeff's voice cracked and he had to stop and take a deep breath, only further concerning his brother on the other end of the phone.
"Jeff, are you okay? What's wrong?"
"I'm in jail," he whispered into the phone, tears springing to his eyes.
"What? Why?"
"The cops pulled me over and found drugs in my car. Matt, I'm scared. Please, you gotta get me outta here." Jeff pleaded, clutching the phone so tight that his fingers began to ache.
"Oh, Jeffro, drugs? Never mind, we'll talk about this later. Hang tight, I'm gonna hop in my car and I'll be there in a few minutes."
"Okay," Jeff whispered. He felt a huge rush of guilt at the disappointment in Matt's voice. He'd promised his older brother that he was done with drugs, that he'd never touch another one again. That was only a few days ago.
"Hey, I love you, Jeff. Just remember that, okay?"
"I will. And I love you too, Matt." Jeff hung up the phone, suddenly feeling very alone.
What I've done,
I'll face myself,
To cross out what I've become.
Erase myself,
And let go of what I've done.
The cop took him back to his cell, where he waited for Matt. With every second that ticked by Jeff became more and more anxious. What if Matt really wasn't coming? What if he'd decided to let him spend the night in jail to teach him a lesson? Jeff would deserve that if he did, but he didn't want to sleep in this filthy place. He was a free spirit, and being caged like an animal was making him sick to his stomach. Suddenly in that moment, he knew that he had to give up drug use for good. If he was ever caught with a load of drugs in his car again, the consequences would no doubt be jail time. And he wouldn't survive even the first night of his sentence. When he got out of here, he would start over with a clean slate.
Put to rest,
What you thought of me.
While I clean this slate,
With the hands,
Of uncertainty.
The clang of the holding cell door jolted him out of his reverie, and Jeff sat up on his cot. The female officer was back, only this time Matt was with her. Jeff felt a surge of relief and joy when his eyes fell upon his brother, and he leapt off the cot and hurried over to him. "Matt, I'm so sorry."
Matt wrapped him in a big bear-hug and said, "I know, baby bro. Let's get you out of here and then we can talk about it."
Matt led him down the hallway into the main seating area and out the front doors of the police station. Jeff breathed in the cool night air, happy to not be spending the night in that horrible place.
So let mercy come,
And wash away,
Once they were both seated in Matt's car, Matt turned to him and said, "You promised me, Jeff."
"I know. And I'm really sorry, Matt. I let my demons catch up with me again. I'll never touch another drug again, I swear."
Matt stared at him, and Jeff knew that he didn't believe him. And Jeff didn't blame him; after all, Jeff had broken his earlier promise. The difference was, however, that Jeff really meant it this time. He'd seen how drugs could ruin his life and it had brought him back to reality.
What I've done,
I'll face myself,
To cross out what I've become.
Erase myself,
And let go of what I've done.
"I hope you're telling the truth, Jeff, I really do. 'Cause eventually this "habit" of yours is going to catch up to you and I don't want to have to go to my little brother's funeral." Matt said, turning the key in the ignition and pulling out of the police station's parking lot.
"I don't want you to have to, either," Jeff murmured.
For what I've done,
I start again.
And whatever pain may come,
Today this ends.
I'm forgiving what I've done.
"So promise me for real this time, Jeff," Matt begged, shooting a glance at Jeff. "Please promise me that you'll stop this."
Jeff looked into his brother's dark brown eyes and felt a lump form in his throat at the emotion in them. Matt didn't want him to die from this addiction, and Jeff didn't want to die, either. He couldn't keep hurting Matt like this. So he decided to stick to the promise he made himself earlier and get help. For himself, for Matt, and for anyone else that cared about him.
"I promise."
I'll face myself,
To cross out what I've become.
Erase myself,
And let go of what I've done.
THE END