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A Crude Joke
by Adelie King

Chapter One: A Sick Idea

Dr. Janet Frasier and Major Samantha Carter had been playing jokes on each other and it made each of them laugh immensely. Recently for Frasier's birthday Sam had a birthday cake made with an edible male appendage on it. Then they tried to get her to go down on it which she wouldn't. The whole base got a laugh over that one.

Frasier was determined that vengeance was hers after the last one Sam pulled. So she sat and started thinking of what she could do for Sam's birthday. Hmmm...A male stripper…a porno on the TV…buy her a huge vibrator as a present…

Janet was scanning through a bunch of products at Adam & Eve adult products online and stumbled onto a penis molder called a Clone a Willy Kit. Frasier just died out laughing all of a sudden when the cruelest joke she ever devised popped into her head. She wickedly thought I wonder what she'd do if I gave her a copy of Colonel O'Neill's member? Like he'd go along with it… If she doesn't know he might and it'd be even funnier.

Frasier picked up the phone and called Colonel O'Neill to her office. He was there within thirty minutes and soon as he saw her he teased. "Enjoy your birthday cake doc…"

"Oh I would've liked it better if it wasn't so small." Janet retaliated.

"Ooh…you got me." His hand hit his chest as if he had been shot in reaction. "So what exactly am I here for? A large needle in my ass again." Jack remarked.

"No I want to play a joke on Sam for her birthday and I've rightfully earned my vengeance after that cake." She vindictively told him and hinted, "And I want you to help me…"

"Really?", O'Neill was intrigued and crossed his arms smirking, "What exactly do you have in mind?"

"You'd better shut the door before I tell you…" Janet warned with a wicked grin.

He closed the door commenting, "Oh this is going to bad I can tell. What do you want to do?"

Frasier tapped her finger tips and then asked him, "Have you ever heard of one of these Colonel?" She turned the monitor towards him pointing to the erection molding kit.

Jack leaned over and saw the Clone a Willy Kit and his eyebrows hit his hair line. "No Way!! You're not making a copy of my dick for Carter as a joke!!" He waved his hands frantically in front of him backing up to the door.

"How would she know if we didn't tell her?" Janet logically pointed out, "Just think about her using it without knowing it's a copy of yours." She started laughing.

"There's no way I'm letting you look or get near my hard dick unless it's for medical reasons such as a priapism and NOW…" He emphasized, "I'd be more likely to go to the urologist in town." O'Neill told her adamantly, "The only copy of my dick Carter will have or will ever have will be the original when that happens."

"I figured that's what your response would be Colonel." Frasier crossed her arms grinning at him. Then she tries to manipulate by remarking. "Funny even men that are well endowed are still ashamed of their equipment." She looked down in emphasis.

He puts his index fingers up telling her straight out, "I have absolutely no shame over my equipment whatsoever. I consider him a private thing to me and for a very few select ladies who are given the rare honor to see it!" O'Neill then ended this idea quick, "When Carter finally gets to be the one and only in years to see, handle, go down on or fuck it. It will be the real deal end of story!!" He stormed out in abruptly bringing the matter and plan of hers to a close.

Janet Frasier wasn't dissuaded that easily and she already had a plan to get her mold anyway with or without his consent.