A/N: Hey there guys! This, is the AU, at the Graveyard of Little Hangleton, at the time of You-Know-Who *shudder*. Got the idea after reading 100's of FanFictions. I don't own them. Or the Harry James "Boy-who-lived-chosen-one-triwizard-champion-blah-blah...) Potter series. Siriusly!
PS: One-shot.

-LINE-BREAK-HERE-

Cedric And Harry: WHOA! Portkey Cup! I want that!

Cedric: I saw it first!

Harry: I'm the Boy-Who-Just-Wouldn't-Die-(at-least-by-the-hands-of-Voldy)!

Cedric: Please!

Harry: No.

Cedric: *puppy eyes* Prettttttyy please!

Harry: Tell you what. We go to Voldy together. Right?

Cedric: As long as his resurrector doesn't kill me. *cough-cough-Wormtail-cough*

Harry: 1-3-9-6! GO HOGWARTS! STOP DURMSTRANG OR BEAUBATONS! *grabs the cup with Cedric*

Portkey: Next stop: Resurrection Point!

Cedric: Whoa! Tommy's Marvelous Puzzles!

Voldemort's small body: HEY! That's my name you're pun...-er-PUNNING! Wormtail, kill!

Peter: Avada Kedavra!

Cedric: I'm sorry, Voldy. I'M SO SO SORR- *dies*

Peter: Some-spell-that-will-tie-Harry-Potter-with-a-rope!

Harry: Hey! No fair!

Peter: Dad's bone *puts T. Riddle Sr.'s bone into a cauldron with Dark water* make your son a vampire! Servant's flesh *cuts off his hand and puts it in the cauldron* turn your master into a vampire! Enemy's blood *takes some blood from Harry and puts it in the cauldron* make your foe a vampire! Soul of the person becoming a vampire *puts Voldychild into the cauldron* become a vampire!

Voldemort: Ah, I'm back, eh? My wand, Wormtail?

Peter: I-I-I-I b-br-r-rok-k-e i-i-it-t-t.

Voldemort: Your wand, then?

Peter: I-I-I-I- br-br-oke-oke th-th-at-at t-oo-t-oo.

Voldermort: *rolls eyes* Potter's wand?

Harry: HEY! THAT'S MY WAND!

Voldemort: *conjures a wand out of thick air* Here you go, Potter. Now, let's duel. Bow.

Harry: No.

Voldemort: No?

Harry: No.

Voldemort: Please?

Harry: No.

Voldemort: *puppy eyes* Pretty please?

Harry: Tell you what. We both bow. *both bow*

Harry's mind: HEY! THE IDIOT IS A VAMPIRE! I CAN NOW DO THE DEFENCE ASSIGNMENT MOODY SET FOR ME! KILL A VAMPIRE BY PLUNGING WOOD INTO HIS HEART! But... how do I get Oliver Wood over here?! Oh, right, he gave me a wand. With a sharp edge. I know just what to do!

Harry: ACCIO OLIVER WOOD! *Oliver Wood zooms into the graveyard on a Nimbus 245709 Firebolt Edition Cleansweep Remix's copy, the Nimbus 2001*

Oliver: Hey, Harry! Why'd you Summon me here?

Harry: Well, you are a Wood, and Voldemort here *points his wand at Voldy* is a vampire now. Plunge yourself through his heart?

Hemione: *arrives on Harry's Firebolt* Harry! not that Wood! Wood, wood! As in-"

Voldemort: Oh, this is too much! Potter, use the bloody stick of wood in your hands, not this freaking pure-blood! Oops. Forget what I said.

Harry: All right *points wand at himself* OBLIVIATE!

Hermione: *major facepalm*

Harry: Hey, tell you what. We both bow. *Voldemort bows. Harry runs at him, puts the wand to Voldy's heart, and Voldy dies again.*

Horcruxes: BOOM! *blast and set Fiendfyre on everything a mile around them*

Hermione: Wha-?

Harry: Wand=no core. I rock. Yay! Want a signed photo?

Creevey Bros: COURSE I DO!

Rest of the Wizarding World: Just an autograph, thanks.

Tell me, how the Voldemort was it? Heh heh, new swear word: Voldemort.