Sometimes, being a profiler required a bit of acting, pretending as if you know less than you really do. Because the job took away so much of your life that, when you see and know so much about everyone around you, you just have to look the other way. For the sake of everyone's privacy and sanity.

They had seen it before, JJ's relationship with Will, Reid's 'problem'... The lying, the secrecy, the anxiety...

She had been foolish, really, to think that they wouldn't notice, that they wouldn't pick up on the fact that something wasn't right. She knew that they'd pretend for awhile, act like they were none the wiser to give her time to deal with it. But sooner or later, they weren't going to be able to pretend anymore, they were going to need answers. She just didn't want to deal with it, because as long as they were pretending, so could she. They'd all be living a lie, but it was just so much easier...

******

Garcia sprinted the last few steps towards the FBI building, knowing that she was already late. She had planned everything very carefully, in order to leave herself enough time to get to work, but between the winter traffic and the doctor running late, her careful scheduling had ended up being an exercise in futility, seeing as she should have been here nearly an hour ago.

Ordinarily, she wouldn't have scheduled an appointment before work for precisely this reason, but it had been especially important and she didn't want to risk missing it should the team unexpectedly be called away.

She had hoped that the team would be preoccupied when she finally crossed through the bullpen to get to her office so they wouldn't notice her obvious lateness. No such luck.

"Hey, baby girl," Morgan greeted when he spotted her, "Rough commute?"

She forced a smile, her face stiff from the biting December wind. "Umm, yeah..."

She moved to continue on towards her office in the hopes of avoiding further questioning, but her way was impeded when she almost ran into Emily. She held out a mug; "I got you some tea," she said gently.

"Thanks," Garcia said half-heartedly, knowing that it hadn't gone unnoticed or unquestioned when she rather suddenly stopped drinking coffee. She pulled off her bright pink mittens, which she had specifically chosen that morning to cheer herself up, and reached out for the mug.

As she did so, her sleeve hitched up on her arm, exposing the plastic hospital ID bracelet. Her breath hitched in her throat, she knew that Emily had seen it too. Wordlessly, she met her eyes, silently pleading with her not to say anything.

Emily's eyes flashed with concern, but she gave the slightest nod and continued on as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.

Garcia continued on to her office practically at a run, not wanting to face anyone else. When she finally set herself down heavily into her chair, she almost broke down. Pensively, she spun the hospital bracelet around her wrist, reading and rereading the words.

Penelope Garcia. Age: 32. DOB: 05/25/77. Oncology Dept. Admitted: 11/20/09.

******

"I'm telling you, I know what I saw," Emily said definitively, "She's wearing a hospital bracelet." She may have promised Garcia that she wouldn't ask her about it, but the others needed to know; they were all concerned and would want to help.

"No way," Morgan insisted, "You must be mistaken."

"You know, it would actually explain a lot," Reid said.

"The exhaustion, the sudden weight loss," Emily began to list, "She just hasn't been herself lately..."

"You're talking about Garcia?" JJ asked, coming up behind them and joining the conversation. They nodded. "Is it just me or has her skin looked a little jaundiced lately?"

"I think you guys are letting your imaginations get away from you," Morgan insisted, "Why would she keep something like that a secret?"

"Wouldn't you?" Reid pointed out, "She probably hasn't even made sense of it yet herself and she wouldn't want anyone thinking that she can't do her job. Statistically speaking, during the period immediately following the diagnosis of a serious illness, people tend to pull away from those they're close to."

"Maybe we should ask Hotch," JJ suggested, "She might have told him something, just in case she had to go out in the field."

"We're not asking Hotch, we can't betray her trust like that. If we hear it from anywhere, it should be from her," Morgan said definitively.

"You're right," Emily agreed. He smiled as if he had just won the argument. "We should look in her office, we're bound to find something."

"What part of 'we can't betray her trust' didn't you understand?" Morgan said incredulously.

"We just want to help her," JJ insisted, "She obviously needs to talk about it, but she just doesn't want to burden us with whatever's wrong with her."

"I really don't think..."

Emily cut him off, "We'll go search her office. You stay here and, when she comes back, distract her for as long as possible."

"But..."

They were already across the bullpen, clearly finished discussing the matter. "We're doing the right thing," Reid consoled before following the two women, "We're just trying to help her."

******

"Find anything?" Emily asked the room at large.

"Nothing helpful..." Reid said, setting down a troll doll with fluorescent pink hair and butterfly wings.

"Hang on..." JJ said slowly, "I think I might have something..."

They were immediately at her side. "What is it?"

She read the name of the sender on the envelope, "Dr. Craig Fitzpatrick, MD. Potomac General Hospital, Oncology Department." She looked up, eyes wide as she absorbed the implications of what she had just said.

They both looked similarly alarmed. "Let's not jump to conclusions," Emily said, "What's inside?"

Pulling several sheets of paper out of the envelope, she murmured, "They look like test results..." Turning to Reid, she asked, "Can you read them?"

He took the sheets and was silent as he attempted to decipher them. His face suddenly became ghostly pale. "It looks like... She has stage II pancreatic cancer that metastasized to her spleen," he whispered.

A/N: This is the first chapter of my first annual Christmas story! Now, I know that right now it doesn't really seem very Christmas-y... But I promise it is or at least it will be. But I really, really need your help! You have no idea how hard it is to come up with twenty-five days worth of Christmas events... So, I'm begging all of you to please send me a PM with your suggestions/personal Christmas traditions! If I use your suggestion, I'll make a note of your contribution and, if I find it particularly helpful, there just might be a reward in it for you... Thanks so much!