Chapter 1

Castle was standing at the window in his office. It was raining. He hated the rain because everything hurt when the weather changed. He felt it a bit before, with the mysterious injury he suffered during his missing time. He was scratched by a bullet he couldn't remember. But it was not as bad as this. He was shot into lungs, after all. The bullet mysteriously missed his heart but almost hit a spine. He remembered everything about that morning….when Beckett admitted to remember everything from her first shooting, he almost didn't believe her. But now he knew better. He remembered the pain, the blood pool spreading beneath him and most of all, the warmth of Kate's hand, giving a part of her life to his cold hand….it was interesting that she was the lucky one in that case. Bullet missed her vital organs so while she was able to get back to active duty within two months, he spent his first months in a wheelchair. Those were frustrating times.

Now, he felt how everything hurt. He couldn't sit in his chair but he couldn't stand either.

But he needed to sit and have some work done. He gave up on writing Nikki Heat novels a couple of months back, when he sent her on a run with her husband….he left the door open for her return but he had his hands free from deadlines. He promised Gina a book sometimes in the future, but nothing definite. He had enough material to write stories until the end of his life but somehow, he didn't think writing was not his desire anymore.. The shooting in his apartment changed him. Kate was the only one who understood this. When all those years ago, she got shot, the perspective on her life changed. In a twisted logic, it was the bullet in her heart that got them together.

Now it was his turn.

Kate has returned to work as a captain in 12th precinct but he didn't feel like following her around anymore. He could help in his own way. And his way was to fully get into his PI work.

What was originally only a hobby and a way to stay in touch with Kate, became a regular and susccessful business. Thanks to Haley, whose contacts, along with his, spreading from NYPD to MI6 and Interpol – and on the other side of the law as well – brought them high-profiled clients. He loved solving murders. Murder brought him to writing, after all. The motivation of every killer was fascinating, in its twisted logic, and he loved discovering it. But his business became a full time job and he discovered that to uncover espionage or even provide a security detail to high-profiled clients, had its magic, too. He was very picky. So was Haley. They both wanted honest, decent people as clients so they kept refusing potential clients who had some shady business going on. Sure, he had friends on both sides of the law but given Kate's work, he tried to stay as clean as possible. They both decided to stand on the line a long time ago. Never crossing it, but protecting both sides.

Now, for the paperwork. He managed to avoid it for years in the precinct, he had to add something to reports here and there but never had to do anything. Kate has always been doing the real police work. Now he did it. And, surprisingly, he enjoyed it. He was his own employee but he still went to solve his cases by himself, sometimes even assisted by NYPD because their cases often overlapped. But he rarely worked directly with Beckett and over the months, he realized, it was maybe better.

After the shooting, he became a bit more cynical, bitter, and sometimes was annoying even to himself. Like right now, when the pain went from his legs to his neck and he didn't know what to do. Maybe he could ask Haley, if she has some interviews coming up. They still managed to work in only three people, doing most of the work. They hired some extra people when a case was bigger or when they were asked to provide a security detail. Those were mostly Haley's friends he decided not to know more about.

And Alexis, his brilliant daughter, managed to handle all the contracts, invoices, all the paperwork, and all he had to do was just to read it and sign. He tried to talk her out of it. Office work or not, it was still a company handling security, investigations and sometimes helping with an occasional murder case. But she insisted and he knew she wouldn't quit. Also, it was in her genes. She got this from her grandfather, who was a spy and who he will probably never see again. And from him, of course. He was ashamed and proud at the same time, that he dragged her into this world.

After being indecisive about her future, she finally decided to study a criminology at school. He thought she would go for a law but in this line of business, she wanted more experience and less theory. For about two seconds, she was considering a police academy but fortunately, she thought she would stay and help – and protect – her silly father, who got kidnapped twice a year and kept getting into trouble. Working with her and Haley was different than with Kate. With his wife, he didn't need to say anything, they had that unique partnership where they had their minds set the same way. She was indeed his soulmate.

But changes are necessary in life and he once predicted they would become normal. He just didn't expect it to happen so violently, with a bullet going through his lungs and spine.

Kate called him in the morning…she didn't want to wait til the evening to tell him the good news. She was pregnant. And happy. He was thrilled, happy and scared. In their line of work, they were still in danger. They *were* the danger. After the shooting, they decided to move out for a while but now, they just redecorated and made their apartment more habitable, less office, suitable for kids. His mother and Alexis moved out. He paid his daughter a salary, of course, and not a small one, given the fact she was basically running things. Haley was great in getting clients and talking to people, so was he. But it was Alexis who was holding it all together. So she could afford to pay for her own place. He was also anxious to see her every day, to hear her. He got over the fact she was dating – when he was her age, he already had her. But after all they have been through, the anxiety was there, never going away. He was sure it would never go away. Especially after it was her who found them in the apartment. Lucky for them….and maybe for her. She walked there about 10 minutes after the shooting. In the absence of neighbours, nobody heard the shots and they would probably start looking for them too late. But if she wouldn't have decided to skip the school and check on them, they would be dead. But he still felt the horror, thinking about her walking into their apartment sooner. She could have been shot, killed even. He tried to talk to Alexis about this, but she was his father's child. Never talk about these things, as her limited experience in a criminal field made her also a bit more hesitant about sharing her feelings about everything.

The morning, after they took LokSet down, came to his mind. He knew something wasn't right but the fact it was over with all of them alive pushed that feeling away. Pain shot through his shoulder as the memories got to him again….

He lost a feeling in his legs right after he was hit. Something broke in his back as the bullet went through his lungs and further. He couldn't breath….he only said his plea to Calleb but it was all….he heard Kate running, tried to warn her but she already knew. She always knew. The same way he knew when there was something wrong with her. He heard shots and then saw or felt Caleb drop dead on the floor. Good. Kate finished him. He wanted to move, tried to get up or at least see what happened. But it all happened so fast….God no, not Kate. He heard how her gun fell to the floor, followed by a bigger 'thud' sound. Kate! Now he was able to move just enough to crawl towards her as she was trying to do the same. They had to do something but he already felt life leaving his body….his blood almost immediately created a pool beneath him…warm, sticky….he caught Kate's hand as she got to him. His phone was in his coat…he could only assume she didn't have hers either, because she would already reached for it…at least they were together….

"Rick…..hold on….somebody is coming…." her voice was strong, stronger then he would expect, given her injuries. She obviously couldn't move either. Long minutes passed, or it seemed that way when he finally gave up…he heard Kate's voice, comforting, still strong, but the darkness, the feeling that this is it….but they were together.

"Dad! Hold on!...Dad!"

"Dad?"

Alexis' tone of voice changed, still concerned.

"Do you want to bring your painkillers?" He was back at his office. Alexis' hand on his shoulder, He must have lost a track of time. They had something planned, a meeting with some client that he totally forgot about. He had to clear his head for it.

"No, thanks. I can't take the pills everytime something hurts." He tried to smile. He *was* happy. After Kate called him the news, he was beyond happy. But the pain…the constant reminder of how dangerous their lives were. He realized Alexis was staring at him, the worry in her eyes apparent.

"Listen, I am going to see Kate now. Could you tell Haley that I am going to meet her there?"

"Sure. Do you know where it is?" Alexis knew he was in pain but also knew better than to push him. She had to learn it the hard way, when in the first months of his physical therapy, he lashed out at her a few times. Now, he was almost healed but the emotional damage remained. Also, he should be resting. He also should use crutches but he refused. They were in his hidden closet, never to be seen again. He bought a stylish cane, that was not helpful at all but he said it looked good. And it had a steel skull attached to it. It basically summed up what her dad was before and what he has become after the shooting. It was him, but a bit colder, pragmatic.

"Yes. Don't worry. I know this may be a very important client for us." He smiled and moved from the window, which helped him to stretch a bit. Surprisingly, it helped.

"I read those papers you prepared but not all of them so I will probably sign them tomorrow. Tonight, I want you to come over to our place. We have some news." he winked and suddenly, he was her good, old dad. Crisis was over. For now.

"Sure. Say hi to Kate for me." he waved back and nodded. He took the cane and tried to look gracious and tall but his shoulders were telling a different story. She shook her head and went back to a reception desk to prepare papers for the courier.

Kate's chest hurt. Ironically, she always felt the pain where the first bullet hit her. It was incredible that she came out of their apartment shooting without any permanent damage to her body. Poor Castle probably got her share. She shivered. The memory of her trying to keep him awake hit her hard. She saw it all. Together, they went through hell. They almost died a few times, avoided bullets, and he was always able to keep her spirits up by his boyish charm and a man-child like nature. It was only a matter of time before something like this happened. And sadly, it damaged Castle in the worst way possible. He struggled with the paralysis the first months, but was able to fight it. Then, something broke inside him. Probably the moment she went back to work while he was trying to stand on his legs for more than five seconds. She should have stayed with him. But they got through it and, she loved him even more. They got stronger, and even with the loss of some sparks in his eyes, Castle was still her Castle.

Speaking of Castle….she noticed his a bit crouched figure, slowly walking from the elevator. He looked so tired, pale as death. They didn't have a chance to talk in the morning as he was leaving for work sooner – some important case kept him and Haley busy this week. She was glad he had his job and that he found himself in the security business he originally refused to do.

As he passed officers and detectives, everybody greeted him. She never realized how popular Castle was in the precinct til he was gone. And after the shooting, they all supported them both. They treated Castle as one of their own. They always have but after the shooting, they all came to the same conclusion – maybe not officially, but Castle was just another cop, injured by a bad guy. Beckett also felt their support towards her and she couldn't be happier. Gates took over her job after the shooting and was very helpful but when Kate came back, Gates admitted that Kate was just too favourite to be replaced. Kate's ambitions were higher than captain of her own precinct but with a baby on the way, she decided to let the life lead her way.

It was a minor miracle that after being injured so many times, she still could get pregnant. But she was and when she heard the news from her doctor, the happiness was overwhelming. Especially because they had some problems with Castle. He wanted the child so much but was unable to do anything for almost three months. It was frustrating for him, as everything else. Their roles reversed, she was the one who was cheering him up. And she succeeded. So there he was, now shaking hands with Ryan and Esposito. Ryan took her role in the detective team after remaking the sergeant exam. Esposito, being the great, loyal partner, basically gave up that position because he knew his friend needed it more. As she saw it, Espo may never settle down. Him and Laney reunited for a month or two, but it was another of those "life is fragile" things that happened between them every time some crisis appeared. He comforted her after their friends' ordeal but that was it. Now when Castle was done greeting everybody, he headed to her office. She took a deep breath and smiled.

He was pale, obviously in pain. She didn't want to force him to take his painkillers but he was so stubborn sometimes. He kissed and hugged her, putting that silly cane of his aside.

"Hello there." he said, playfully. She couldn't possibly be mad at him. He looked relaxed despite the pain. She kissed him and didn't want to let go. He was shaking, as he was fighting the pain in his shoulder and back to stand straight but he was the one who kept kissing her. It was a long, passionate kiss they haven't shared for a while. He didn't need to say anything. They never needed too many words for expressing their feelings. He was wordy, she wasn't but their relationship worked on some subconscious level. She knew how fascinated people were by this and she smiled when he finally pulled away. Now, in her office, he could relax. He sat down, relieved he could stop pretending. Kate leant to him, kissed him the final time and then gently started massaging his right shoulder. She felt how he relaxed under her touch, it was sweet. And she felt happy that she could help in some way.

"I invited Alexis and guys over to our place today. We have to tell them the great news."

"Are you sure? I mean…I will be pregnant for another seven months so it could wait a few more days. When you feel better." She almost immediately regretted her words but Castle surprised her. He took her hands into his and made her sit on his lap. And smiled.

"Kate, we both know that it may be a while. And I don't want this injury….them….to win. Yes, I know my behavior in past few months was awful. I am annoying, moody, behaving like a sick child sometimes but all of that is my coping mechanism that helps me to get better. And it is working. But I refuse Markus, Caleb or even Bracken let win by destroying our happiness. We will have a dinner party tonight, end of discussion." He kissed her again and she had to stand up, realizing this is her work place.

"OK then. Tonight." She smiled, this time, it was a sincere, warm smile because she felt so much love for this guy that it almost hurt. He struggled a bit when he tried to stand up but this time, he allowed her to help him. But once he was out of the office, he was pretending everything was OK again.