A/N: Hey everyone this is slapstick. A lot of you probably know me as a pretty critical reviewer. Well now here's your chance to get some sweet revenge. This is my first Alpha and Omega story. This is really just a test. If you guys like it then I'll keep going. If not I'll probably take it down. Enjoy.

Chapter 1

It was a clear, beautiful spring day in Jasper Park. Everything had a new sent to it; the flowers, the trees, the grass, and the air. Everything was alive and peaceful. The birds were starting to return to Jasper. Singing beautiful, sultry songs that filled the air. The animals were all starting to roam around the area, mainly the wolves. They all began to take in the spring. With winter gone, and the game returning, they started to enjoy the warmer season.

There were four wolves in particular that took full advantage of spring. They were pushing a log on top of a rather large hill that lead into the valley. Three wolves stood by the log; Humphrey, Shakey, and Mooch. There was one wolf in particular that was standing away from the log. His name was Garth. This was going to be his first run and he was a bit nervous. He made his way to the log and looked down the hill. When he did, all the fear that he had was soon double. He quickly backed away from the hill.

"I don't know about this you guys," he said.

"Oh come on Garth," replied Humphrey. "Salty's out sick today and we need a fourth."

"I just don't think it's safe."

"Don't worry, it's safe. We've been doing this for a long time, so we know what we're doing." Humphrey then turned to Shakey and Mooch. "Guys I'm going to set the log up and prepare our run. Can you guys debrief Garth?"

"No problem man," said Shakey. He then guided Garth a few feet away from the log to talk. "Look, Garth. You said that you wanted to get in good with the omegas right?"

"Yeah," replied Garth.

"Well this is the best way to do it."

"How is this the best way?"

"You see Humphrey over there?" said Mooch standing to Garth's left side.

"Yeah," said Garth looking at Humphrey.

"Well, he's not just a run of the mill omega," said Mooch.

"He's the leader of the omegas," continued Shakey. Garth was surprised to hear. He didn't know that Humphrey was in charge of the omegas.

"If you pull this off," said Mooch, "then Humphrey will let ever omega know that you are ok. All the omegas will want to be your friend."

"Can you hear it," continued Shakey, "Garth, the most popular alpha in the pack."

Garth thought about it for a moment. He liked the idea.

"Ok," he said, "I'm in."

"Great," said both Shakey and Mooch.

"Alright guys," Humphrey called, "Let get ready. Shakey mooch you know where to be. Garth you'll be behind Shakey." They took their spots and prepped themselves. "Ok ready…set…GO!" At that moment they all pushed off with their back paws and started to ride the hill down.

The moment the log started to speed up, Garth's heart began flying at a mile a minute. Next to stampeding caribou, this was one of the most frightening things he's ever experienced. Trees flew by as their speed increase. The wind blew through Garth's fur and his eyes began to water, not yet use to the moving wind. Garth held onto the side of the log with all him might, praying that nothing goes wrong. They were weaving left and right, avoiding the trees and rocks that they came across. Humphrey shouted out what to do. Whenever he told them to go left, they leaned to the left. Whenever he told them to go right, they leaned to the right. It all seemed to be going well for Garth's first run.

Meanwhile…

Kate and Lilly were taking a walk through the forest as they were taking in the spring air. For most of the time they didn't say much. Feeling the warm sun, instead of the bitter cold, was relaxing to them. After sometime of silence Kate decided to break the tension.

"So how are things going with you and Garth?" she asked.

"Pretty good…I guess," said Lilly dropping her voice down a bit.

"You guess? Is there something wrong?"

"No nothing's wrong. I don't know why I said that; how about you and Humphrey?"

"Thing are great. I just wish he did more things around the pack instead of goof off."

"Well you know how Humphrey is."

Well you would know that wouldn't you?" Kate had a little smile on her face. "I've noticed that you and Humphrey are become better friends." Lilly had her head down.

"Does that bother you?" Lilly's voice was starting to become softer a bit.

"No, I don't mind you two becoming friends. In fact, I think it's kind of cute."

Lilly smiled back and walked a little ahead. Suddenly, something came out of nowhere and passed right in front of Kate. She jumped back from the surprise.

"What was that?" She said looking around. Suddenly she realized that Lilly wasn't with her.

"Lilly?"

Lilly soon opened her eyes and saw that she was on her back, and flying through the forest at an incredible speed. She looked back to see Humphrey looking back at her.

"Humphrey?" she said.

"Hey Lilly," replied Humphrey.

"What's going on?"

"Just a little log sledding. So how's your day going?"

"Humphrey who are you talking to?" asked Garth.

"We kind of picked up a stowaway," said Humphrey. Garth looked to his surprise to see it was Lilly.

"Lilly?" he called.

"Garth?" answered Lilly. She suddenly felt her body quickly jolt left, as Humphrey made the command to turn right to avoid a tree.

"What are you doing here?" asked Garth in a fearful tone.

"I actually don't know," she answered. "I was walking with Kate. Next thing I know I'm on a log."

She then felt her body jolt back and forth from left to right. She looked ahead to see that they had gone off the trail and was weaving in and out of trees. This went on for a few minutes as Humphrey saw the trail again and told everyone to roll left. As soon as they did they found themselves going down the trail.

"I'm starting to feel sick," said Lilly.

"Ok this is becoming too dangerous," said Garth, "Humphrey, stop the log."

"Um…" he said, "…define stop." Lilly and Garth both looked at him with shock.

"You don't know how to stop it?"

"Um, guys," said Shakey trying to get their attention.

"Well breaks are one of the hiccups that we haven't worked out yet," said Humphrey.

"What the hell?" yelled Garth, "that should have been one of the first things you should have worked out!"

"Guys," said Shakey again.

"Well excuse me for not figuring out everything about this sport," Humphrey was starting to get angry.

"Do you realize that you made this situation much more dangerous?" yelled Garth.

"Guys!" yelled Shakey.

"What is it?" both Humphrey and Garth looked at Shakey with anger.

"Boulder!"

Everyone turned their attention ahead of them. They saw that they were heading right for a boulder. They didn't have time to move out the way. They collided with the boulder head on, sending them flying in the air. When they hit the ground they all started to roll down the hill until they came to a flat surface. With a loud thud they all finally came to a stop. Shakey was the first to see where they were.

"Hey we made it to the valley," he said, "all right."

Garth began to shake off the impact as he looked around. The log was completely destroyed from the impact. He saw Humphrey on his feet as if it never happened. He then saw Lilly having trouble getting up. He quickly ran over to her worried.

"Lilly are you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm fine," she responded, "some ride huh?"

"You're telling me," said Humphrey as he walked over to Garth and Lilly. "However, the next run will be much better."

"No," said Garth, "no next run. I'm done." Garth was starting to walk away as Lilly stood next to Humphrey.

"Oh come on, Garth. I know we had a bad run, but I promise the next one will be much better."

"Never again! Lilly and I are never doing this again." Lilly looked down a bit disappointed. "Let's go, Lilly." Garth began to walk away. Before she was about to leave she looked over at Humphrey.

"If it makes you feel better," she said, "I actually had fun."

"Lilly!" called Garth.

"Coming. I'll see you guys later."

"Bye Lilly." All the guys said unison. When Garth and Lilly disappeared into the tree line, Humphrey turned to his right he was given a little surprise. Kate was standing there with an angry look on her face.

"Hey Kate," he said with a small grin on his face. Kate simply raised an eyebrow and Humphrey knew exactly what was wrong. "I'm guessing you saw the crash huh?" Kate just nodded her head yes. "I'm also guessing that I'm in more trouble because, not only did I put mine and Garth's life in danger, but Lilly was involved too." Kate nodded her head again. "Well we're ok now. Lilly and Garth are fine. No one's hurt."

"I think I sprained my wrist!" yelled Mooch.

"No one's seriously hurt," said Humphrey, "and I promise to be safer next time." Kate soon had a smile on her face. She couldn't be mad at him. It was close to impossible.

"Well, ok," she said. She placed her head under his chin lovingly. "By the way, did you clean the feeding grounds like I asked?"

"Haven't even started."

"What?" Kate quickly pulled away to look at him.

"Kidding."

"Very funny. Then I guess you wouldn't mind if we made a little trip there."

"Of course not. Ladies first." He extended his paw out and guided her in the direction to the feeding grounds.

"Hey what about us?" asked Shakey.

"Why don't you guys go see how Salty's doing," replied Humphrey. With that, he and Kate made their way to the feeding ground. Along the way, Kate brought up something that made Humphrey sigh.

"Well since I got you alone, I wanted to talk to you," Kate said.

"Please don't be what I think it is," begged Humphrey under his breath.

"I really want you to go to alpha school."

"Here we go."

"I just think that it would be in your best interest to go."

"Kate, you've asked me to go for a year, and I keep tell you the same thing. I'm too old to go. Alpha school is really for the pups. How would it look for a wolf my age to be in school with a bunch of pups? It would be embarrassing. Besides, I like where I am now. I'm happy being an omega. It's who I am. Aren't you happy with that?"

"Of course I am. It's one of the reasons I fell in love with you. I just want you to do more with your life then just goof off."

"I do a lot of things."

"Sleeping doesn't count."

"Damn." Kate let out a light chuckle at Humphrey's remark. She moved her body close to the point that their pelts were touching. Humphrey then gave her a light lick on the muzzle.

It took a while, but they finally reached the feeding grounds. Kate did a quick scan of the area to see if Humphrey actually did clean up the area. To her surprise, it seemed rather clean. However, this was Humphrey she was dealing with. Good chance he just hid them somewhere in the area. So she started to look around. She looked in bushes, under rocks, and inside small caves just in case. Once again she was surprised. Not a scrap of bone anywhere in the area.

"I'm impressed," she said, "you actually cleaned up."

"I told you," said Humphrey. Kate walked over to him and gave him a lick on the check as a reward. Soon she buried her head underneath his chin. They stayed there for a while until they were interrupted by someone.

"Humphrey."

Humphrey and Kate turned to the source. They saw a brownish-grey wolf walking up to them. He was a few inches shorter than Humphrey. He also had a piece of his right ear bitten off by some creature. The ear looked like a shark biting into a surf board. He tells every that he lost it fighting a lone wolf. However, that story is really hard to get by since he is also an omega. Though he wasn't a regular omega, he was Humphrey's second in command of the omegas.

"Marcus," Humphrey replied.

"Hello, Marcus," greeted Kate.

"Good afternoon, Kate," spoke Marcus in a soft, mildly deep tone, "May I borrow him for a moment?"

"Of course. I'll see you at home."

"Ok, see ya," said Humphrey. Kate turned and made her way to meet her friends. As soon as she was out of ear shot, Marcus spoke.

"Humphrey, the alphas didn't bring back enough food for the omegas again," he said. "I respect the alphas, but their egos are starting to get out of hand. Early today, I had to break up an argument between two alphas and two omegas. The alphas were teasing the omegas."

"Was any one hurt?"

"No, luckily there was no actual fight just a heated disagreement."

"That's good."

"Humphrey, I know you don't want to seem rude, but you need to talk to Winston about the way the alphas are starting to treat us. I know he's your father-in-law, but you're the leader of the omegas. Do what's right."

"Don't worry, I'll handle this."

"You better. I don't want this to get out of hand." With that, Marcus turned and left Humphrey in the feeding grounds alone.

Night soon hit Jasper rather quickly. Humphrey was exhausted. Other than the log sledding accident, he stopped two alphas from killing each other, babysat some pups, and checked on Salty. Who is doing much better, thanks to Eve and the healers. He walked into his and Kate's den to see that Kate was all ready in the den lying down.

"Hey," she greeted her mate, "how was your day."

"Exhausting," he retorted. He walked over to Kate and basically dropped to the ground from sheer exhaustion. Kate placed her head on the back of his neck.

"Oh poor baby." Humphrey smiled at that comment. "Well since I have you…" However, that smile was quickly extinguished. "…I wanted to talk more about alpha school."

"She's persistent, I'll give her that," he thought.

To Be Continued…

A/N: Well I hope you all enjoyed it. Like I said before this is really just a test. I've had this story in my head for the longest time. I'm not exactly sure where I'll take it, but I'm sure if I kept going I'll find out. See ya later.