Finished

Silver Threads

Everything that has been known before is changing, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Only time can tell how drastic these changes shall be.

A Katt and Lyra collab.

Katt: I mentioned to my sister who doesn't like HP fics that there are 17 plot devices for HP. I have more than 17 but the fact remains that you could easily find 17 plot devices. I mentioned writing a story with all the plot devices, and Lyra decided to critique it. That's how this came about . . .

Disclaimer: Neither me nor Lyra are the wonderful J.K. Rowling. If we were, we wouldn't have just graduated high school. And there would be more romantic build up between couples.

Minor Edits done 6-26-10

Chapter One: Memories of Weddings

It was every woman's happiest day besides the one on which she gave birth to her first born, yet Lily could not find it in her to be happy beyond measure. The dress, day, and decorations were all beautiful, but outside the peaceful sanctuary of the church there was a war where two words could kill a person and no one was ever truly safe. Outside of the church her oldest friend was serving a mad man and would be killed for doing so.

Her bridesmaids had left her alone for a moment so she could collect her thoughts. However, the longer she stood there the less she wanted to get married right away. There was a war, and people were bound to die. Next week Amelia or Alice might be dead, or perhaps James or Sirius. How could she think of bringing a child into a world torn apart by war? Maybe if she was living someplace else it would have been an easy decision.

"Lily" A man's voice made her turn. There stood Severus, oily black hair disheveled, robes rumpled, and large dark circles under his black eyes. Lily stood and went for her wand. "Wait! I mean no harm." She nodded warily. "Thank you. Don't speak just yet. I realize that I am the last person you probably want to speak to, and under normal circumstances I would respect that. However, today I need to say my piece before it's too late. I have to tell you that you..." he fidgeted, obviously uncomfortable. "You are the most important person in my life, and I will always care for you."

"Sev," Lily's voice was filled with confused emotions. Severus made to continue speaking, but before he could say anything a great blast echoed through the walls.

Both minds jumped to the same conclusion. Lily gathered her skirts up in her arms and trained her wand on the doorway. Before anyone could try the door, however, Severus grabbed her arm and quickly disapparated.

The two landed in a study with walls covered by bookshelves. In the middle of the floor a settee was positioned in front of a sturdy dark wood coffee table. There appeared to be no doors or windows in the secluded room.

"Let me go! Severus, James is still at the chapel!" Lily cried using her free hand to pound on her once friend's chest.

Severus frowned, holding the redhead's fist away from him. "I will go back for him." He asserted, bitterness coloring his voice. "For the love of Merlin, keep calm and I'll make sure he gets to you." With that Severus released her arms and apparated back to the little church where the wedding was being held. However, the fight had already ended, as typical of a Death Eater strike. Now the building was in flames, surrounded by muggle emergency vehicles. Severus cursed Potter's folly in allowing his wedding to be held in this unprotected muggle district. No matter that it should have been secret - obviously that hadn't worked out well. Still, he spared more vehemence for his erstwhile comrades. Joining them had seemed the thing to do back then, but all of their attitudes rankled him as much as his father's had - in point of fact they were similar. In this crashed wedding, he decided, Voldemort had crossed a line.

So, determined to keep his promise to Lily, he made his way towards the Church, asking everyone he came across if they had seen a male about his age, height, and weight, with dark, shaggy hair, brown eyes, and glasses. No one had. Most of those now present were muggle - bystanders and not members of the wedding party, but an old schoolmate who had lost her wand informed him that James had been driven from the chapel in the fighting and hit his head on the stairs. Certainly, the woman supplied, he must still have been in the crowd. Just as he was about to perform a "point me" spell in the shadows, Severus heard a distinctive series of cracks. The obliviators and Plausible Excuse Board members had arrived. Severus scoffed. A secret wedding for Voldemort's high-profile targets. Yes. Knowing he could get no more done, he returned to his house on Spinner's End to tell Lily the bad news.

LESS

Upon hearing of Severus' failure, Lily had clammed up. Since then the old friends had studiously avoided each other, though Lily had agreed to stay in his home rather than endanger her family. Despite Severus' lack of success, Lily refused to give up on James. After checking in with the order and confirming that he was indeed missing, she spent six months travelling all across England to find a muggle hospital that might have held her fiancé, James Potter. All of the ones she had visited had no sign of him, or any man matching his description that wasn't already accounted for. She sighed tiredly. Severus had made her promise that she would not try again after today, but that was an easy promise to make. This was the last hospital, practice or clinic in England that she hadn't checked. If he made it out of the fighting that day at all, he would've had to have gone to this hospital.

"Excuse me," Lily said to the receptionist. "Do you happen to know if a man named James Potter has been admitted here in the last six months? I'm his fiancé." Lily said the last part quickly as the nurse opened her month to repeat the patient confidentiality speech Lily had gotten at all the other hospitals.

The receptionist looked at her with pity before clicking away at the computer. "Potter, James?" She asked, flipping through the rolodex for several minutes before she finally looked up. "I'm sorry miss, but no one under that name has been admitted here."

"Do you have any John Does, then?" Lily quickly asked. "One of them might be him."

The lady smiled and nodded. "In room 215. I suppose we can make an exception to policy if it means identifying the poor man. One minute, let me write you a pass." The receptionist scrawled something unintelligible on a sticky note and handed it to Lily, who took off down the corridor.

Lily entered the room with breath bated. Somehow she could feel it - he must be here. The bed by the door was neatly made and Lily made her way to the divider curtain. Listening a moment to the sound of someone's breath in deep sleep, she pulled the curtain aside. Her heart dropped into her toes. A man at least twice her age with graying blonde hair lay in the bed, arm hooked to an IV. Then, that was it. Her fiancée was dead. Holding back a heavy sob, Lily ran from the room, hurriedly turning a corner to an empty corridor before apparating away.

LESS

James was thoroughly disoriented. At least, he was pretty sure his name was James. The nurses who had hovered over him when he woke kept calling him 'Mr. Doe'. Well that didn't make sense, he thought. I'm a stag, aren't I? Except that didn't quite ring right either. He was, after all, a man and not a woodland creature. Perhaps it was a schoolboy nickname? He had gone to school, he knew. Like he knew his name was James and his mother's was - no, had been - Signe. Which was an odd name, really. And yet his mind was filled with all sorts of half-remembered figures with names at least as strange. Harold, Signe, and James Stag? He mentioned it to one of the nurses and was rewarded with an indulgent look.

"I'll look it up, John."

He scowled, suddenly confident that he was right. "My name is James."

Another humoring glance which he studiously ignored. A concussion and a mysterious case of amnesia, they'd said. Though he'd take their word on the concussion - it had apparently put him in a six-month coma - he couldn't help but feel there was something to his memory loss other than a bop to the head. Oh yes, the coma. A miracle that he'd woken, they said, and now to make sure he didn't just disappear back into his mind, they were putting him through a series of rigorous tests. James pouted, figuring all the hassle had probably done more harm than good.

Another nurse who had introduced herself as Jennifer correctly interpreted the look on his face. "Oh John, I know this is uncomfortable, but look on the bright side." He raised his eyebrows skeptically. "Well... you'll get to eat your first solid meal in six months shortly. And we put down nice clean sheets while you were in getting checked." That didn't sound too bad, he grudgingly admitted. And so far this hospital had been a lot nicer than his fuzzy memories would have lead him to expect. For some reason he kept expecting to have medicines shoved down his throat. So far, the only things shoved down his throat had been a glass of water and a thermometer, which wasn't so bad.

As the gurney turned its last corner before his room, he looked up, finally remembering to be curious about his surroundings. In case you need to escape, his mind whispered. He ignored it. As his gaze shifted from the nurses to the hallway ahead of him, he froze. Ahead of them, a feminine figure turned the corner at a brisk clip.

"I know her," James whispered, vaguely remembering an image of stunning green eyes.

"Know who?" The nurse asked, looking up from her chart and seeing no one.

"I... don't remember."

That would be James's last memory of Lily for many years to come.

LESS

That night when Severus got back to his house on Spinners End he was surprised to see Lily sitting on the love seat with bags around her feet and a map in front of her.

"I can't fight a war that took James from me, Sev." She said before he had even opened his mouth. "Feel free to come with me or no, but I am leaving the country. "

"Hm. It's convenient that I've managed to take my mother's name, then. It will be easier to evade those who might want to keep us here under their thumb."

"Like who?" Lily asked, one finger circling a spot on the map.

"The Dark Lord. Dumbledore is also an issue, I suppose. Where are we going?" He asked, summoning two glasses, a flask of Ogden's Finest, and a bottle of icewine. "And when do we leave?"

"We head to Crimea just as soon as we're packed."

LESS

They had decided to travel via muggle transportation. It was all the better for the purpose of laying low, and both of them were familiar with the ins and outs of muggle society. Lily had shot down the idea of taking a ship, having developed a great fear of water after falling out of her boat in first year. Severus concurred, but further insisted that a train would feel too much like retuning to Hogwarts. Though neither of them had been on a plane before, they agreed flying was the best option. So, after much preparation which included emptying their respective bank accounts and packing up all the worldly belongings they still wanted to keep, the two childhood friends set off to Crimea from the Heathrow airport.

The regular direct flight from London Heathrow to Crimea was small - the model of plane was older and the flight only occurred once every two weeks. Lily and Severus found their seats right over the wing and stowed their (shamelessly shrunken) luggage into the overhead compartment. It was an aisle with three chairs, and the two were dismayed to find that neither of them had the aisle. With a sharp look, Lily seated herself by the window.

"I'll get claustrophobic if I can't see out," she reasoned.

Severus scowled. "You're putting me next to a stranger?"

"You are a big boy, you can handle it."

"It will be a smelly fat man, and he'll spend the whole flight drinking. I refuse."

Lily pouted. "You don't know that. C'mon, it's not like you'll be missing a view." They attempted to stare each other down. Severus flushed and gestured Lily take her seat, and she grinned smugly.

They sat in silence.

As it happened, the person in the aisle seat was a large older woman. She took her seat and promptly began snoring. Severus grumbled at this, and Lily smiled beatifically and held her silence.

LESS

"Why Crimea?" Severus's question broke through her concentration on the novel in her lap. Lily sighed and marked the page she was on.

"My family lived there once. Some of them at least. I found a book in your house that detailed how to find where family had lived. I... wanted to feel close to them, since I'm leaving Mum and Dad." She stashed the book into the pocket of the seat in front of her.

"That was borderline dark." Severus' voice suddenly went cold.

Lily turned away, hiding her face behind her hair. "I don't care," she stated clearly.

"Lily," Severus faced her, grabbing her hands as she reached for her book. "I don't want you practicing that sort of thing."

She sniffed and turned farther away from him. "I don't see why that is any of your business, Severus." She put emphasis on his name, voice laced with venom, and snatched her hands back. "After all, you practice it, don't you? But wait, that is what caused this whole mess, isn't it. Merlin, I must be crazy, on a plane with a follower of the madman who killed my husband." Lily unbuckled her seatbelt and stood.

"Where are you going?" Severus hissed, trying not to let her see how much her words hurt him.

"The loo. Let me pass."

"No, not until you listen to me. I don't want you practicing dark magic, because... Because you're better than I am. You deserve better. Dark magic brings so much pain, including Voldemort's rise to power. Yes, I did join that madman, but that was the same time as Mother's death and our," he coughed, "falling out." He looked past her out the window. "Lily, swear I didn't know about the attack on your wedding. I'd rather see you happy with someone else than miserable with me." They paused, Lily wearing a look like thunder. Suddenly discomfited by his outburst, Severus allowed her to pass. The woman on the aisle seat had gotten up to use the loo as well, he realized, relieved that their indiscretion hadn't revealed anything. Wary, he checked the passengers in front and behind them, but most of them appeared to be sleeping and one young woman was fully absorbed in her walkman. Leaning back, he closed his eyes, thoroughly troubled.

Lily, her heart pounding and blood rushing to her head, strode to the back of the plane as quickly as she could and locked herself in the small bathroom. The thing only thing racing faster than her heart was her mind. She mumbled distractedly.

"The way he said that last part. Like - like when James said he fancied me in school." Twice a week for seven years, her mind supplied. "James, oh James. But... Sev doesn't feel that way. It's been years since we went our separate ways." Her fists clenched. "But the wedding, he came to say his piece. He has no reason to lie to me. Oh, James, what do I do? Does he mean it? No, his friendship with Lucius. He wouldn't associate with him if he didn't agree with him, would he?" But that was only after his mother died, a voice insisted. Maybe he had no choice. No... choice... "Oh!" Her eyes watered. "Oh, he never meant it, did he James? I was so horrible to him that year. His time of greatest need, and I turn my back because of a few hurt feelings without even trying to understand!" Lily bit her lip. That's it, keep going, her mind coaxed. Overwrought, she hid her face in her hands and sobbed. She didn't know what to believe any more, about her life, her friends, or Severus. Pulling a tissue from the dispenser on the wall, she dabbed at her eyes determinedly. "I know what I have to do, James. I need to give him a second chance. For both of us." Thus resolved, a true smile came over her face for the first time in six months.

LESS

Christmas came far too soon for Lily, but instead of finding joy in the Holiday season, all the festive cheer only darkened her mood further. Her afterschool plan was falling further apart every day. James, dead. Her friends, unknown. England, still at war. And to top it all off, she had yet to get married or have a child. She had so hoped to have children - it was one of the few things she and her sister had in common. She sighed, her breath fogging up the windowpane of the house the pair had been surprised to be able to afford. It had belonged to Lily's ancestors once, but had never been purchased after they had left. The realtor had been relieved when Lily asked about it. It was a dated building and in need of restoration, but beautiful.

There was a knock on the door, startling Lily from her depressed mood. "Enter," she called, already knowing who it was.

Severus opened the door peaking his head into the room. It was small and clean, with a bed, a wardrobe, and a vanity table. "I brought you a tray from dinner," he said, coming into the room.

"Thank you. Go ahead and place it on the bed. I'll eat in a few minutes." Severus moved to place the tray on the bed when he saw that the lunch tray was still there as well, untouched.

"Lils, are you feeling ill?" He asked, concerned about the redhead.

Lily sighed but did not turn away from the window, "I just don't feel hungry. I might in a bit."

Severus set down the dinner tray but did not leave the room. Instead he moved to stand next to Lily. "I am worried about you. When we first arrived at the beginning of December you were, if not happy, content. However, since the moment Christmas decorations went up you have been in a slump. You rarely leave your room, you barely eat, and I don't think you are sleeping either. Please, Lily, speak to me."

She turned, her bright green eyes filled with tears. "It's not supposed to be this way, Sev. I'm supposed to be a fat glowing bundle of joy, heavy with child. I am supposed to be in James' ancestral home hiding from Voldemort, getting worried sick when James is twenty minutes late getting home." Glancing up at him, she continued, "I am happy to have you here, never doubt that, but. . . I had a plan. I had a life." She buried her head in his shoulder, sobs wracking her slight frame.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be hurtful with this." She said once her tears had died down.

"Oh no, not a problem. I enjoy being told I am no substitute for dead fiancés." He didn't mean for there to be that much bitterness in his voice. Still, he didn't draw away from her.

"Don't make me hex you. You know what I mean. It's not your fault and I don't blame you. And it's not that you're not good enough, in comparison." Her arms tightened about his waist. "Actually, the more time I spend around you, the more I realize how childish James was when he passed away. Yet you've never been a child, have you?"

"I am afraid I do not see your point."

Lily sighed wistfully. "Sev, I did love him. I think I always shall. But now, now he will forever remain a child. I will grow old and in my memory he'll stay a child." She frowned. "You have never been a child, except in dreams. Still, I can see it now. Living with you and growing old with you. It's not better than James, but I don't think I've wanted anything so much in my life."

"Now isn't the time. You are drunk." Severus moved to pull away from her, however Lily kept a tight grip on his clothes.

"I'm not drunk, Sir Inferiority Complex. And what do you mean this isn't the time?" She demanded.

"We'll talk in the morning," He replied looking distinctly uncomfortable. "Why don't you eat something and get a good night's rest?"

Lily pushed him away, fed up. "Don't you darebaby me, Severus Tobias Snape Prince! Tell me what it apparently "isn't the time for", or by Merlin you will have wished you did. I haven't had any alcohol since the last time I came to dinner, I feel fine, and I am most certainly in the right mind to hear this."

Severus kept his back to her. "I'm leaving," he admitted.

"...What?"

"I'm going back to England. You deserve better that to be associated with me."

Lily's eyes filled with tears. "What do you hope to accomplish by that, pray tell?"

"I can spy for Dumbledore maybe. Ingratiate myself with the Death Eaters and get revenge for you."

"I don't want revenge. I want you!"

His lips thinned. "You don't know what you want. "

"How dare you!" Ignoring her, Severus headed for the door. "Stop right now! Severus!" Enraged, she snatched her wand off the bedside table and leveled it at his retreating back. "Impedimenta!" She smiled grimly as Severus' face rushed to meet the floor. "Don't ever try to tell me what I want," she told him, moving to block the stairs before releasing the spell. "Now can we talk about this?"

Severus looked up at Lily with the most heart wrenching gaze she had ever seen. Taken aback, she only stepped back and grabbed the banister as he rose and brushed past her. "Wait," she said, spinning around, but he had already disappeared around the corner. In shock, Lily sat at the top of the stairs. She was too numb to weep. Why again? She had already had everything ripped from her once.

Hearing footsteps coming towards her, she looked up. Seeing Severus climbing the stairs, her face lit up with hope.

"You're not leaving."

"Well, no." He said, clearing his throat awkwardly. "I find, once again, that you are right."

Lily smiled warmly, then froze as Severus dropped to one knee before her. Gulping nervously, he pulled a jewelry box from his pocket. "This was my mother's. I know I am not James Potter, but if you will accept it, then nothing would make me happier than staying with you. Always."

LESS

It was every woman's happiest day besides the one on which she gave birth to her first born, and this time Lily was even happier despite her lingering regrets. Her first love was lost to her forever. But this was a marriage of love, and to her closest, dearest friend, no less. That, Lily decided, was more than she could ever have hoped.

TBC

Feedback is greatly needed. And loved. But mostly needed.

4