Jill had been sitting alone in her room, she had not long been allowed out of the hospital and she had been kept there under supervision for a few days. No one had believed had she had made it, that she was alive, that there was barely a wound on her, someone claimed they had seen her before a group of people surrounded her, claiming that she had severe wounds.
Yet here she sat in her bedroom at court with barely a scratch on her. She knew better though, she knew that what that person has seen was true, she had been severely injured and that day was supposed to be her last day on this earth. Adrian hadn't allowed that though, weather he meant it or not he brought me back. Now they were bonded in a way that was completely foreign and a little intrusive. All of his thoughts and emotions ran through her like a cascade that made everything that much harder to deal with, she was still trying to get used to being the Queen's sister and now she had to deal with the fact that she was dead and is now bonded to a 21 year old male that love his vices all too much.
She had been lost in through when there was a knock on her bedroom door, she had at least two guardians in her room with her trying to make themselves be not seen, she wasn't allowed to be alone unless it was to use the bathroom and still them someone was on the other side of the door. It was driving her insane but it was at the request of the Queen so she couldn't argue it at all. One of the guardians answered the door and spoke to someone through the small opening before opening it wider signaling the other guardian that they were to leave. As they exited a familiar face walked through the door and a massive swell of emotion ran through Jill all at once.
Rose Hathaway was there in front of her, usually Jill would be excited and happy to see her, but in her few days of being bonded with Adrian, she had soon learnt much more about the woman she once idolized not that long ago. Sitting on her bed Jill set her face into a scowl and crossed her arms. "What do you want?" she said more harshly that she had wanted to. She didn't really want to be such a bitch to someone that had helped her so much, but after everything she felt through the bond from Adrian, all the hurt and pain that he was suffering through at her doing it was hard to hold it back.
Rose had made her way to the end of the bed and sat down giving the younger girl a stern look. "Well you certainly didn't wake up on the right side of the bed today; I came to see how you were and to see how you were coping with the bond."
Jill sat up straight intensifying her glare. "How do you think I am Rose?" she got up from the bed and started pacing, a whole lot of feelings that she didn't like were flooding through her and it was as if she had no control over any of it. "Well where do we start... First off I died a few days ago, still have to get over that one." She continued pacing back and forth and Rose watched her warily. "Oh what's next, I can't get a moments peace in this place, the only time someone doesn't have direct eyes on me is when I'm in the bathroom and they probably have cameras in there too just to watch me... Hmm, oh and my darling sister is organizing to ship me off to god knows where for my own apparent safety." She stopped pacing and faced Rose a look on her face that no one would have ever thought to have seen on the young moroi's face, it was one of pure hatred. "But why should I trust you and tell you all of this Rose, you'll just go behind my back and hurt me all over again won't you? That's all you ever do Rose, gain the trust of people, to reel them into your net and then when you have everything you damn well wanted you shoe a knife into their heart and walk away, not even thinking about anyone but yourself."
Jill's voice had grown louder and one of the guardians poked their head back into the room snapping Jill out of whatever it was that had come over her. Rose nodded at the guardian that everything was fine and they left. Rose stood up in front of Jill and gave her a stern look. "Got that all out of your system now Jailbait? Was that all you wanted to say or you have more you want to add in on that?" Jill shook her head and sat back down on the bed, she didn't know what was wrong with her and what had come over her. She knew that Adrian hated Rose at the moment and he had every right to be, Jill didn't like what had happened between then either, it didn't mean she wanted to say what she did to her.
Rose started again. "Right, firstly all of this is to make sure that you stay alive, we don't need another attack to happen because next time we might not be so lucky for you to come back from it. You're being sent away for your own safety till Lissa can change the laws so just remember all of this shit is for your own good." She paced a moment before sitting back down on the bed and turned towards the Moroi.
"And everything else you said... That fucking hurt okay, but you're just lucky that I know that it wasn't coming from you... Well the majority of it. Any issues between me and Adrian need to try and stay that way. We will sort out our shit when we are ready too." Rose stood straight and ran her fingers through her long hair. "Listen Jailbait, you got hit with all this shit pretty hard, but you have to realise we are all doing this all for your own good."
Jill sat there stunned by Rose's words and shocked by her own outburst. She hadn't meant it all, it was all of Adrian's feelings going through the bond and forcing their way into her mind. Tears started welling up in her eyes as she looked over at the Dhampir sitting beside her.
Tears starting flowing down her cheeks as she spoke. "I can't control any of it, any moment of the day that he isn't drunk I'm there in his head and I can't get out. I feel everything that he is feeling and he is really hurt at the moment, really, really hurt and he can't pull himself out of it. If they are going to send me away they have to send him with me Rose, I have to try and help him get out of this darkness." Her voice was pleading at this point and her voice near broke when she spoke again. "You don't know what it's like Rose, to know that you had died and someone had brought you back to life. You didn't know for so long that Lissa had saved you. I know! I know that a few days ago I was lying in a room dead on the floor, murdered in cold blood. How do you feel knowing that you were dead Rose...? Now imagine knowing that from day one, mixed with being bonded with a twenty-one year old depressed male who does a lot of things I'd rather not know about." Jill burying her head into her hands and let more tears flow.
Rose hesitated; she wasn't expecting their conversation to end up like this when she came over here. Putting her arm around the younger girl she tried to comfort her. "No one said life was going to be easy, but you certainly got dealt some shitty cards lately. I may not have known about my death straight away, but it never made it any easier to deal with and I've had two goes at dying now, really don't suggest the second go at it Jailbait." She chuckles trying to lighten the mood. "And you better tell Ivashkov that if he doesn't ease on the drinking or anything else that affects you I will personally kick his ass for it."
Jill gave the Dhampir a stern look at that comment and Rose lifted he hands up in a mercy "Hey, I'm only protecting the princess from all issues around her. Whatever happened between Adrian and I in the past should affect you now and I hate that it does. One day it'll be right for he and I to sit down and talk about it, but now is not that time."
Jill sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry, for everything. Adrian's emotions are strong and they seem to have a life of their own. I don't like what you did with the whole situation, but it's not my situation to intrude on… I don't know how I'm going to do this though Rose, everything that has happened scares me so much and I don't think I can be what people want me to be. I'm not a princess. I want to go back to St. Vladimir's and on the holidays go back home to Michigan and spend time with mom."
Rose didn't realise at how much all of this was really affecting the young girl and was about to try and reassure her more when there was another knock at the door. Rising off the bed she went to the door poking her head through the gap and spoke to another Guardian on the other side. Finishing her brief conversation she walked back into the room.
"I've got to go Jailbait; Lissa needs me to help finalize to will be going with you as your Guardians. There still isn't any word on where you will be going, but remember that this is for your own safety; we wouldn't be doing it otherwise. If you need anyone to talk to though even if it's another shit-fit of feelings from Ivashkov... call me straight away." Giving the young girl a brief hug Rose left the room allowing the other two guardians back into the room.
Wanting a moment alone after everything that just happened Jill grabbed her fresh towels and headed to her bathroom, her only place of peace. Turning the water in the shower to drown any noise the young girl leaned against the wall sliding down till she was sitting, the tears came back, flowing more and more till she couldn't control the sobs any more.