Title: Nowhere Warm
Author: chokolaj
Summary: Shep's shot, slowly bleeding out in the snow, with only his radio to keep him connected to those he cares about most.
No pairings, just pure angst & whumpage for Shep
Word Count: 3,330
A/N: Secret Santa Challenge #6 written for Katstale – hope you like it. Happy Holidays! Snark isn't something that I feel I can write easily, so I hope I did well enough.
Prompt: …Shep-hurt to be physical (injured or sick, doesn't matter which). Mental
hurt/whumping is okay, as long as the physical is more prominent than the mental, please… I'd like something mostly serious, but touches of humor would be great--especially the snark. LOTS of the snark!...
Disclaimer: No beta so all mistakes are mine. Any medical or other technicalities may or may not be accurate: this is fiction and solely intended for your entertainment.
--//--
The first snowflake landed on his nose. The second landed on his eyelash melting slowly into his eye. The flakes were cold and feathery against his paling skin. The first snowfall of the winter season had always captivated him as a child. The swirling white crystals but a whisper upon the winter gale, falling in a mesmerizing glitter.
He was numb. Couldn't really feel anything physically or emotionally. Which was a good thing, considering his current state.
The bastards had shot him: four times, to be exact. Four rounds of gunfire echoing against the mountains surrounding him were the only clue that something had gone horribly wrong. He had fallen to the hardened blanket of snow beneath him. He vaguely realized at that moment that he had been hit.
Carson was going to be irate. If he made it out of this current predicament, that is.
"Sheppard, you still there?" The tinny voice carried over the radio still snug in his ear.
Sheppard coughed, feeling an all too uncomfortable twinge and tasting metal. He smiled briefly before answering.
"Ah, sure, Rodney. As you may remember, I've got four bullets in my back. I'm not moving anytime soon." Sheppard drawled.
An impatient sigh carried over the radio.
"Sorry 'bout that colonel." Beckett huffed into his ear. They were moving as fast as they could through knee-high snow to reach him. "How're ye holdin' up?"
Sheppard experimentally flexed his fingers on each hand, both of which lay tucked close to his body on either side. The fingers were reddened and swollen and barely shifted. He imagined them moving but that was as far as they actually went. He grimaced more from disappointment than pain.
"Can't move 'em anymore." Over the last hour, Carson had been periodically checking on Sheppard's reflexes to judge whether frostbite was setting in. Sheppard feared the man was breaking it to him gradually that paralysis was the real culprit.
Sheppard grunted as another twinge erupted from somewhere around his mid-back. He took in a large gulp of air, feeling the flutter of snowflakes accompanying the cool air rushing into his lungs. His eyelashes were sparkling with the white stuff by now, as were the spikes of his dark hair.
"Just…hang in there, all right?" Rodney's voice carried a hint of fear that Sheppard didn't like. He could sense it in all their voices as time ticked by. The longer it took for them to reach him, the less chances he had of living. Sheppard refused to accept those odds, however. He was a positive person, always had been. It absolutely riled McKay up and that made him love the trait all the more.
"I'm hanging, McKay. In fact, I'm chilling." Sheppard tried to sound calm and collected but underneath that façade, he was shaking like a leaf.
"Oh hardee-har har, colonel." Came the sarcastic reply. Sheppard imagined the scientist rolling his eyes.
"Colonel, is there anything you can describe of your location that would be of help to us?" Teyla interrupted their banter.
Of all the voices that had spoken to him since he had awoken an hour ago, Teyla's was the one that unsettled him most. With her, one could always judge just how serious the situation was. It was in her voice. Soothing, controlled, and confident was what was normal. But he hadn't heard any of that since he had informed them of his precarious situation. He could only hear the waver in her voice, as if she were already shedding the tears that would fall upon his grave. When someone of such grace and fortitude cracked in situations like this, it wasn't a good sign.
They weren't expecting him to last long out here. And they were frustrated, too, given the howl of rage Ronon had emitted when they realized that they had to cross a frozen ravine and then climb the lower ridge of a mountain to reach Sheppard. A blizzard was rolling in over the peaks of the majestic mountains towering above them. Flying a Jumper in this kind of environment was suicide.
"I can't really see much, from my position." Sheppard answered Teyla.
There were mountains to his left and there were mountains to his right. Actually, there were pretty much mountains in every damned direction. The expansive flat field of white he was currently sprawled out on was most likely a frozen lake nestled between the rocky ridges.
"How's yer breathin', son?" Carson's voice was breathy, as if he were exerting a lot of energy. Which made sense considering the team was currently climbing the face of a mountain, with swirling snow and gusting winds hampering their progress.
There was a rattle every time he inhaled accompanied by an unpleasant pressure. As long as he didn't breathe too deeply, he was fine.
"Nothing to report, doc."
"Ach! I highly doubt that you bugger. Tell me the truth now. Are you coughing up anything? How's your chest feelin'? And before you give us that 'I'm fine' nonsense, I want the truth son."
Sheppard allowed a long pause after that barrage of questioning. In truth, he knew his time was running out. But he didn't want his team to know that. He would protect them to his last dying breath if he had to even if it meant a little fibbing.
"Colonel?" There was a hint of worry in the doctor's voice as he prompted a response.
"Carson, I'm a fricken' Popsicle, I feel cold." Sheppard snarled.
When he avoided questions, his team knew shit had hit the fan. And Sheppard sensed as much by the Carson's response.
"We'll be there soon, son. Just keep talkin'."
As soon as the good doctor finished, Sheppard realized his eyelids were now drooping. Lethargy swept over his numbing body and he found himself quickly slipping into darkness.
"Sheppard?!" Ronon's voice was urgent and fresh in his foggy mind.
Sensation tingled back into his freezing body and Sheppard took a moment to take stock of his current situation. He had fallen asleep. For how long, he didn't know but by the urgency of the voices in his ear, it was long enough to send his team into a frenzy of despair.
"Here." He croaked. When did his voice get so rough?
"Thank god! Don't. Ever. Do. That. Again!" Rodney voice barked into his ear. Flinching, Sheppard tried to shift his limbs but to no avail. He really was a frozen Popsicle. Well, at least he wasn't feeling any pain. Though, considering where he had been shot that probably wasn't a good thing.
"M'srry." He slurred.
"It's fine. You're fine." Rodney quickly buried his anger in regret.
"Hey Rodney." Sheppard rasped quietly. The snowflakes were beginning to accumulate on him. Would his team have to dig him out of a snowdrift?
"Yes?"
"Up for a game of prime not prime?"
There was a pause where Sheppard could easily imagine Rodney rolling his eyes, Carson shaking his head, and Teyla and Ronon exchanging amused expressions.
"What is it with you and that annoying stupid little game?!" Rodney's voice was edging on hysterical. Sheppard simply smiled.
"Please, just…humor me. I'm…bored." Not much to do when one was caught in a snowstorm bleeding to death.
"Well, next time you feel like being kidnapped by the locals and shot, bring a board game." Rodney snapped.
There was the sound of rustling and Sheppard had the distinct impression that someone was covering an earpiece to give Rodney a piece of his or her mind.
"9000007." Came the succinct prompt.
Sheppard released a breath and found it was rather difficult to draw in the next. The cold air mixed with fluffy little flakes entered his overworked lungs and he began to cough. Hard. Panic flared within as he struggled to inhale as the need to cough became overpowering. Black fuzzy dots began to pervade his vision.
"Sheppard? John? Can you hear me?" Teyla's voice carried a tone of fear barely contained.
The coughing subsided, leaving his throat sore and raw. Sheppard drew in air through little successive gasps. His lungs burned. The trickle of something warm ran from the corner of his mouth and down the side of his cheek. It dripped to the snow beneath him. Sheppard grimaced. There was snow of a different color beneath his freezing body. He could just begin to catch sight of the outer rim from the corner of his eye. He steadfastly chose to ignore it and answered the nervous hails coming to him over the radio in his ear.
"F...fine…I…I'm fine." He replied breathlessly.
"Good old Captain Kirk could have had his limbs cut off but would he admit to injury? No. Of course not. You are not fine Sheppard. And we are going to get to you in time, you hear me? If you so much as think of dying on us I will hunt down your spirit and damn you to eternal…well I can't think of anything as of yet but it will not be pleasant. And there will be no space bimbos involved." Rodney ranted.
Breathing sucked sometimes. And so did dealing with a frantic genius that couldn't fix something out of his hands.
"Rodney. Just shut up. I'm not going anywhere, got it? I have the best goddamn team in two galaxies coming for me and not even a little bit of bad weather is going to slow you down, now is it?" Sheppard managed to say in a wavering voice before another bout of coughing disrupted him from hearing any kind of response.
"Slow and easy, colonel, don't try to take deep breaths, son. Yer lungs can't handle the cold right now." Beckett's soothing voice came to him once he recovered.
The snow was beginning to drift against his body, of which had stopped shivering some time ago. The only tell of time for him was the snow. He dared not ask his team, for he knew it was their curse as they struggled to reach him. The comforting shroud of sleep had begun to beckon him and he wondered why he wasn't more alarmed by the sudden onset of lethargy. Hypothermia, he surmised. Perfect. Though really, it wasn't such a bad way to go.
"We must be getting closer." Teyla's hopeful voice interrupted his reverie.
"How can you tell? The snow is really starting to blow and before we know it, we're going to have a whiteout situation and we'll be of absolute no use to Sheppard." Rodney bickered.
"Life signs detector." Ronon grunted. The man had so little to say yet said everything in just as many words.
"Oh. Right." Came another succinct reply from the scientist.
Sheppard couldn't help it. He laughed.
"Crap, now he's delirious."
"Ach, Rodney. He can hear ye, ye know. Don't mind him, colonel. You'll be sippin' some nice hot soup in me infirmary before ye know it."
Sheppard could only laugh some more. He was feeling rather giddy. The snowflakes falling in rapid succession from the darkening canvas above mesmerized him. He would have reached up to touch them if he could have moved his arms. A brief gust of wind whipped ice crystals across his freezing cheeks, the bitter cold stinging and biting.
"I state that we are closer because we are now traveling downhill. If it were not growing dark and there were not a blizzard, I am sure we would be able to see the colonel from our vantage point." Teyla continued on her tangent.
"She's right." Ronon stated simply.
"Yes, well, at least we know he's still awake…maybe not lucid, but awake." Rodney surmised.
"There's the positive Rodney we all know and love." Beckett stole the words right of Sheppard's mind for it was what he had been thinking once the laughter stopped.
"Sheppard?" Ronon's voice was tight, on guard. Something had alarmed him.
"Y…yeah, big guy?" Sheppard's mouth was dry and he desperately wished for the tallest glass of water. Random snowflakes falling on the tongue just didn't suffice.
"Did you say these locals were cave dwellers?"
"Ah…." It was getting harder to think. "Yeah?"
"What is it, Ronon?" Teyla now sounded alert.
Sheppard could see in his mind all four of his friends on guard, weapons raised, eyes scanning desperately through the swirling white storm. When no response came from Ronon, Sheppard further imagined the Satedan nodding towards some threat. He could only hope that the threat had not seen them.
"Ach, it's just a dog." Came Beckett's exasperated voice moments later.
Muffled shouts and a sharp yelp followed by the rapid tat-tat of gunfire sparked alarm within Sheppard. Now more than ever he felt completely helpless. His teammates were risking their lives to reach him when they all knew he'd probably die before they did so.
"Wha…whazz goin' on?" His mouth was refusing to work now. It felt stiff and uncoordinated. His frustration was reaching a whole new level.
"Just a dog? Just a dog!" Rodney shrieked in exasperation a moment later. Sheppard could imagine the scientist with mouth open, eyes wide directed at one rather belittled doctor.
"Guyzzzz?" Sheppard urged an answer. The snowfall was beginning to pick up, as was the bitter wind whipping across his body. His heart pumped sluggishly as adrenalin borne of alertness struggled to travel through his veins.
"I killed it. Don't worry." Ronon supplied.
"Killed wha…?"
"The biggest freakin' wolf-like dinosaur…did you see its teeth? Son of a…. You see? You see why I'm a cat person? Jeez!" Rodney had yet to come off his heightened state of fright.
"'S too dangerous…turn…back." Sheppard managed to say. Was it getting darker?
"Do not worry, colonel. We are unharmed. The creature has been…eliminated." Teyla tried to soothe him. "The gunfire should have scared off any remaining threat. We will continue on to your position and you will be fine."
"Not…worth it." Sheppard replied through clenched teeth.
"Sheppard, don't give up." Ronon barked.
Blinking hard and rolling his head around, regret filled his face. He didn't want to give the order. His final order. But life's a bitch, wouldn't you know?
"Turn back." His voice was low, swallowed in defeat and rough from weakness.
Silence followed and he was almost sure they hadn't heard him. Then Rodney spoke, his resolute voice wavering.
"No. No we won't. We're going to find you and…."
"Please." Sheppard rasped. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes but they probably would freeze upon his pale cheeks. His heart ached as he wished he could spare his team from the emotional pain they were experiencing. He wished he could take it all away and make things right again. Didn't they all when it came to hindsight?
"Rodney." Beckett sighed, his voice full of resignation. The doctor had known Sheppard's odds for survival were slim from the beginning. There wasn't much he could do for the pilot without proper medical equipment and there was simply no way to hail a Jumper in a blizzard. And to make matters worse, The Daedelus was currently in the Milky Way. The odds were dramatically against them getting to Sheppard in time.
"Perhaps we could…." Teyla's voice trailed off in despair.
"He's right." Ronon's tone was final, if a bit gravely.
"Just...go." Sheppard breathed out.
"John." Rodney addressed him in a way uncharacteristic of him, which was noted by all.
"Take care…of each…other, will…ya?" Talking was becoming torture for him, his mouth refusing to move and the air in his lungs burning with each inhalation and exhalation.
"Please don't give up." Teyla responded, her voice breaking. There were tears falling upon that face, Sheppard knew.
"Please, just…please." Sheppard begged, his voice failing him as the darkness swallowed him into a soothing embrace.
--//--
There was a consistent tap that was more pressure than feeling upon his right cheek. A gale of wind roared into his ears, the cold of ice and snow entering in one ear and across the exposed skin of his face barely felt.
A muffled noise followed the wake of the wind. Sheppard took note of the little feeling he had left in his body. Comfortably numb. He felt lethargic and happy enough to wallow in it for as long as forever. Yet the muffled noise and the discomfort of ice and snow blowing across him wouldn't allow it.
Slowly, his eyes opened. Snowflakes had accumulated upon his eyelashes. A dark sky with sparkling white lights smothered him from all around. The storm had cleared.
The pressure upon his cheek was still there and he shifted his eyes to the right. If he weren't so numb, he would've jumped in shock and surprise. It was Carson, with Teyla close behind him, both kneeling at his side, trying to get a response from him. He would have smiled but his lips refused to move. As crystal as the night sky had become, his hearing slowly followed suit.
"Colonel Sheppard, can you hear me?" Carson asked in his thick brogue, the volume growing as Sheppard's ears grew accustomed.
Sheppard observed the thick coat Carson wore with a fur lining around the hood settled upon the doctor's shoulders. The doctor was peering down at him with deep concern. Teyla's face mirrored Carson's.
"Is he awake?" Rodney's hopeful voice carried over the gusty wind. As the night had fallen, the winds had picked up. On one note, the winds had cleared the storm, but on another, they brought a deep chill that added a bite to the air. None of them would last long in this weather.
"D..ead?" Sheppard struggled to get his lips moving. Carson and Teyla glanced at one another before smiling with reassurance down at him.
"No, colonel, you are not dead. We are here and we are going to get you out of here." Teyla responded with a soft smile. Her cheeks were a rosy glow. Being the smallest of them all, it amazed Sheppard that she had not succumbed to the cold, much like him.
"R..scu?" Sheppard managed to mumble.
"They'll be here soon, colonel. Just hang in there." Carson replied with a smile of relief.
Sheppard shifted his gaze to his body. There was a thick blanket of snow upon it. In fact, most of it was freshly unsettled. It took him a moment to realize that his team must have added to the drift already accumulating upon his body. Snow was a great insulator, he remembered. Beyond this, he spied a blurry fire with two figures standing on either side. Rodney and Ronon.
Sheppard smiled as best as his frozen facial muscles would allow.
"The storm cleared just as you instructed us to retreat. Thank the ancestors, we were able to see you from the ridge and reach you before it was too late." Teyla explained. Her voice sounded wavy, as if she was moving close, then pulling away. Yet Sheppard knew it was his own failing hearing to blame.
"Damn it, Sheppard. You had to get captured and shot on the coldest damn planet we've ever encountered. You should be thanking us for saving your sorry ass, you know that?" Rodney's voice carried across the wind from nearby. Sheppard didn't have the energy to lift his head and visibly seek out the scientist.
"He's thankful." Ronon's deep voice came from not too far from Rodney's.
"I'm just reiterating the fact that he owes us all an astronomically huge bidding that encompasses our entire life spans."
There must have been a silent look passed among his teammates after that one because Rodney only sputtered and grumbled under his breath to spare their ears.
Warmth embraced him. Whether it was the presence of his team or hypothermia kicking up a notch, Sheppard did not care. Instead, he allowed himself to wallow in it. A thought surfaced in his hazy mind then and he smiled.
"Not…prime." The words dropped off in a whisper as he slipped into a deep sleep.
"What?" Carson asked, puzzled.
Rodney only smiled.
--fin—
A/N: OK, so the last two sentences aren't exactly Shep's POV. Oh, and that number – it's technically not a prime but some other kind of weird anomaly of a math thingy all of which I cannot possibly comprehend – I'm an artist damn it. That said, I have written a sort of aftermath to this but I have a little bit more to go on it (within the word count limit).