The Best-Laid Plans…

The early morning of October 10, Monday found all the Double-Os, Moneypenny, Tanner, every other department heads (except for Q) sitting in one of the conference rooms of HQ, waiting for their boss to appear to tell them why they had all been summoned to a sudden and unexpected meeting. It was not usual for such a diverse group to be briefed together on any subject. After all: what topic could concern agents and accountants alike? They had all tried interrogating Moneypenny about it, since as personal assistant and secretary to M, she had the most insight into his plans, but this time, she had only shrugged unhelpfully.

"I really have no idea, guys. He didn't tell me any more about it than what you already know: that we were all to be here in this room today sharply at 8:00 AM to receive important information." – She explained and looked just as confused about it as everyone else.

Just as the leader of the IT-department had started to whine about having better things to do than waiting here for ages for who knows what, M appeared in the door, cleared his throat loudly and surveilled the scene.

"Miss Moneypenny, I trust that everyone I asked to come today is present?"

"Yes, sir, everyone is here."

"Very good." – He said nodding, then closed the door and took his seat at the head of the table. – "First of all: welcome, everyone, and thank you for coming. I know most of you would probably have more interesting things to do than sit here and listen to an old man's boring babblings…" – He gave a meaningful look to the Head of IT-Branch who sank deeper into his chair, looking absolutely embarrassed. – "… but I'm afraid we have important things to discuss."

"Sir, excuse me for interrupting" – Began the Chief of Staff. – "But I realized we're missing someone…"

"Mr. Tanner, I believe I just asked Miss Moneypenny if everyone I had invited was here and she confirmed it. Right, Miss Moneypenny?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, then, I can't see any problem."

Tanner still looked unsure.

"But, with all due respect, sir, Q-"

"The Quartermaster doesn't need to be here for this briefing." – Bill, Eve and all the Double-Os looked at each other alarmed. Even the other department heads blinked confusedly. Everyone knew that Q was M's right-hand man since the new order of things had been instituted in MI6. Saying he wasn't needed for something as big as this seemed to be was absolutely scandalous. What could have happened?

M looked to be totally unfazed by the sudden surge of anger directed towards him from the teenager's loyal friends though, and continued as if there hadn't been an interruption at all.

"As I was saying, we have important matters two discuss, more precisely two: one joyous occasion and one rather unnerving… Which one would you like to hear first?"

"Ahm, I think… Maybe the worse one? So that maybe the good news will make up for it and calm us down a little afterwards…" – Mused 009 and everyone nodded in agreement.

"That sounds logical. All right then: I just received notice that Mr. Mycroft Holmes himself would like to inspect our organization personally this week. I trust you all know whom I'm talking about and I don't have to explain to any of you what that means." – There was a deafening silence after that statement where the present people tried to gather their thoughts. It was the leader of the Security Department who managed to speak first.

"What!?" – Well, more like squeak then, actually… - "Mycroft Holmes? THE Mycroft Holmes? The one who has the entire Parliament and every politician dancing to his tune?"

"Yes, Mr. Ford, exactly him."

"But what does he want here? He has never come here before!" – Exclaimed Alec, having had the misfortune to hear frightening stories about the Ice-Man in the past.

"I don't know, 006, but now he wants to come. And if he wants to come, he will, of that you can be sure."

"But… but… sir, that man is said to be the most powerful and merciless person ever. And it's somewhat of a common knowledge that he has a psychopath for a brother! The one that everyone knows behaves like he's some kind of detective mastermind, even though he doesn't even work for the police. It's unheard of."

"Yes!" – Interjected 009. – "We're lucky there aren't more of them! Just imagine what a third Holmes could be like with two brothers like that!"

Everyone shuddered at the mere thought of more lunatics of a similar kind sharing the planet with them.

Moneypenny continued with even more conviction:

"We really don't need folks like that snooping around in here."

"I know all of these, Miss Moneypenny but my hands are tied. Even though he officially doesn't have any direct influence on us, he could make our lives very difficult if we don't cooperate."

"And what exactly is expected of us?" – Inquired Bond, already bracing himself for the answer he was most definitely not going to like.

"I honestly don't know what he wants here but I guess he'll want a tour around. Which is why I wanted to talk to the department heads: I would like all of you to and your teams be ready for an eventual inspection on Friday. That's when he'll come, presumably with a committee. Mr. Tanner and myself are going to escort them and – if we can manage to arrange it like that – I want them to skip visiting Q-Branch."

"Why? Q and his minions – sorry sir: employees – make wonders work down there. It's something MI6 can be proud of! If we have to make a good impression then this is the place where we can show off."

"I know that very well, 004, that's exactly the reason: Q-Branch is simply too stellar. I don't want Mycroft Holmes to get ideas about wanting to have the boy for himself… Because if Mycroft Holmes wants something, he gets it, and I absolutely refuse to let him take our Quartermaster! Olivia Mansfield and then later I have successfully managed to keep the very existence of Q top secret ever since he joined MI6 nearly 5 years ago. And I have every intention for it to remain that way."

Everyone started to panic at the thought that they could lose Q because at first nobody had thought about that possibility but now that M had mentioned it, it just seemed too frighteningly possible. Men like Mycroft Holmes wanted "potentially dangerous tools" like a genius child for themselves, of that nobody had any doubt.

"WHAT!?" – Shouted 006. – "You don't think? What? It's not… Impossible… NO!"

Rodriguez rolled his eyes.

"What my very eloquent colleague wanted to say was that it could only happen over our dead bodies." – He translated.

"Yes, I completely agree, 008, but the problem is: when Mycroft Holmes is involved, I'm afraid even that could be easily arranged. Besides, we can never know what illegal and unauthorized things go on down there in Q-Branch. It's actually dangerous to have any civilians there: just imagine they touch something and it explodes. Also, the last thing we need is Holmes finding Q in the middle of hacking MI5 or something similar. No, it's best if he doesn't meet Q and doesn't see anything they're doing."

"All right. We'll make sure he's busy in other parts of the building." – Nodded Tanner, desperately wanting to keep his surrogate son safe and out of the clutches of the enemy. Especially an enemy as dangerous as this Holmes sounded to be. 'Mycroft', really… Who in their right mind would give their child that name? Someone with a name like that could certainly only mean trouble. – "We'll show him everything else. Anything that can be interesting and will take up a lot of time… Ideas?"

"Well, he can come and see us training. Not on Q-Branch's training field, obviously, but on our own." – Suggested Mason.

"He can overview our documents – everything is fine with them." – Stated proudly the head of Accounting, eager to show to his boss that he was always up to date with his department's work and always ready for any random inspection. Even if the dreaded Holmes himself wanted to come.

"Let him control Security. He'll have to admit we're very well protected." – Offered the Chief of Security, sitting up a bit straighter, demonstrating his own version of readiness to please.

In just a few minutes Moneypenny had a list of at least twenty activities that that 'insufferable' Mycroft Holmes and his 'disgustingly nosy' committee could be engaged in during their visit and that of course didn't include him going anywhere near Q-Branch and finding out about them hiding a priceless teenage genius that would be capable of taking over the whole world even half-asleep, in between his morning and midday cups of Earl Grey, should he wish to do so.

"Sir, don't you think you could send Q away for the day? Maybe it would be safer for him not to be in HQ at all during the visit."

"I have of course thought of it, 001, but the problem is: we'll need him here that day. And that brings us to the next, far more cheerful topic: on Friday, our little magician boy will turn seventeen!" – He declared fondly.

"Oh, yes, that's right, Friday is the 14th." – Agreed Alec. – "Still not legal to drink though. – He sounded put off by that fact.

Mallory just shot him a condemning look, imitated by various other people. (Not by Bond though who probably whole-heartedly agreed with Alec's lament.)

"So, I was thinking of throwing him a party in the evening. Of course I hadn't known about the inspection when I started planning it, but… well… I hope we can still manage to make it unforgettable for him."

"Of course we can! We will!" – Moneypenny became instantly very enthusiastic and already had at least a hundred ideas whirling around in her head for the party. Oh, how she liked occasions like that!

Mallory looked to all the Double-Os.

"Agents, I arranged for all of you to be here this week and also next week because Mr. Tanner has informed me he intends to take the boy for a vacation as a birthday present, so Q won't be here to manage any missions until the week after. I know R has been trying herself as a handler but I think you'll all agree it's better to wait for Q if it's possible.

All of the agents vigorously nodded. They still vividly remembered the one occasion a mission had needed to be completed without Q there to help them (the boy had been undercover at that time and thus unavailable to speak to); none of them wished for a repeat performance of that. It had surely given the teenager a new level of appreciation (if that was even possible) as soon as he had returned.

"We absolutely agree with you sir, we will gladly wait for the kid to come back."

"Hopefully, nothing will come up in that time that requires our immediate attention. As it is, you're all scheduled for your yearly psych- and medical evaluation and fitness testing for that period of time. Most of you have sadly neglected these duties in the past anyway.

"WHAT!?" – Shouted at least five agents at the same time in horror.

"Is there a problem, gentlemen?"

At M's raised eyebrow all of them shrunk back and a few muttered "no, sir"s dejectedly. They knew it was no use arguing with the boss about it and it seemed Q wouldn't be present to save them from this hell. (He was usually willing to sign their charts containing the made-up results without them actually having to attend any of the above mentioned activities and of course nobody dared argue with the second in command so there was no danger of the medical department reporting their cheating. In exchange the boy only ever asked them to participate in Q-Branch's weapon- and gadget tests which were always a lot of fun so they were more than fine with it.)

Moneypenny laughed and mouthed 'cowards' towards them, careful not to be seen by Mallory while Doctor Clifford's (the head of Medical) mouth curled into an evil grin with anticipation.

They then proceeded to plan the details of the party.