Hey everyone! This is another One Shot I've been working on for what seems like ages. I'm finally completely happy with it, so now you get to read it. Happy? Hope you are.
Oh, and it's also my longest one shot that I've ever written. Thought I should mention it.
Small warning – this story is angsty, and portrays Kagome's three friends in a pretty bad light. I don't hate them, but it fit the story, and I don't find it too OOC, in any case.
With that said – please tell me what you think!
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
Pieces of a Heart
There was nothing she hated more than these daily breakfasts with her friends. She loved her friends, she really did, but… she hated sitting there, watching them chatter on and on about their dates and boyfriends and diets and sometimes, if they were wanted to be really interesting, they talked about clothes.
Sometimes it seemed like they had no connection what-so-ever with the real world, in which there are people who care for more than clothes and boys and diets. The real world, in which people had to fight everyday to survive. The real world, in which people die.
Kagome looked down at her hands. She did not want to think about it – about him – right now.
Moving her hands, just for the sake of moving them, Kagome entered the café where she and her friends would sit in every morning.
"Morning," she told Eri and Ayumi, who were already sitting there waiting for the others.
"Good morning, Kagome chan," they answered in unison.
"Where's Yuka chan?" she asked them. "Usually she's the first one here…"
"Don't you remember?" Ayumi started, and Eri continued. "She told us that she would bring her boyfriend with her today. She said it would take them a while to get here and that we should start without them, but I can't wait to finally see him! From what Yuka chan said, he is hot!"
"Oh," was all Kagome let out in response for the long – and frivolous – speech. 'So it's going to be another breakfast where all we talk about is boys.' She loved her friends a lot, but sometimes… sometimes they could be so out of it! They never had to fear for their lives, they had never been responsible for the lives of others. They had never been forced to watch the man they love fall dead at their feet – 'No!' she thought furiously, trying to get the image of red and silver and red – so much red! – From her eyes.
"Kagome chan… are you alright?"
Kagome didn't notice her eyes were closed until she opened them again, to see Eri and Ayumi's worried faces.
"Yes, I'm fine," she answered, willing herself to focus on her friends. "I—I just need to go to the rest room for a minute, I'll be right back." Attempting to smile and feeling as if she failed completely, she rose and hurried to the restroom.
Sprinkling cold water on her face, Kagome traced the lines of sorrow on her face, lines that were certainly not there when she first fell down the well 5 years ago, and she wondered what Inuyasha would say if he could see her now. 'Probably that I look more like Kikyou,' she thought bitterly, remembering her friend's sorrow when Naraku killed his first love once again during their last battle. To this day, she thought that this act of Naraku was what caused her friend to fight so recklessly – even more than usual. And that, evidently, was what caused his—'no!' she thought, shaking her head furiously. 'Don't think about that!' taking a deep breath, Kagome looked at herself once again in the mirror, fearing what she would see there.
It was not the fear of seeing Kikyou in the mirror. It was the fear of seeing herself there.
"Well, Kagome," she told the image in the mirror. "You can't hide in here forever."
Another deep breath and she turned, getting out of the lady's room and back to the booth she and her friends were occupying at the moment, only to freeze when she saw a certain familiar silver haired head.
Her eyes widened with shock as she recognized that certain silver haired head. It was not so difficult. Black slacks and a white shirt replaced the familiar white garb, and the markings were gone, too, but there was no mistaking those gold orbs and cold stare.
"Yuka, Eri, Ayumi!" she shouted without thinking. "Get away from him! He's dangerous!"
Her friends only looked at her in shock, while he only raised his eyebrow at her. Her instincts were, apparently, as sharp as ever, as she had to hold her powers within herself so they wouldn't purify him on the spot. Not that she didn't want to, but it would not be simple explaining it to the others.
She could only stare as he got up, and once again she had flashes of the past in her head; of him trying to kill her and Inuyasha so many times, of him standing over the broken form that used to be his brother, of him ignoring her pleas to use his amazing sword as she dissolved with a pink light from the past.
The tear she had been fighting all day was now rolling silently on her cheek, and she hoped he didn't sense the fear she knew was rolling from her in waves.
"I see that you are still alive, Miko," was the first thing he said to her. From the corner of her eye she could see her friends' confused looks.
"No thanks to you!" she spat back at him, trying to replace her fear with anger. She could see some unknown emotion – she never could read his face – passing behind his eyes for a moment, but then it was gone. "Disappointed?" she asked icily.
"Surprisingly," he answered calmly, "not at all." She narrowed her eyes at him, glaring, as he continued. "Though I never would have imagined finding you here, of all places, I have wanted to talk to you ever since my brother—"
"Don't!" she yelled. "I don't want to talk, so you can just go and leave me alone!" with that, she turned and left, not noticing the shocked looks on her friends' faces, nor the traces of regret and sorrow on Sessoumaru's normally icy face.
Kagome ran all the way back to the shrine, and then to her room, ignoring her mother's worried questions. She collapsed on her bed sobbing loudly, letting all the tears she had been holding for the past months out. She was in need of a good cry, anyway. It has been a while since her last one, and so she spent the next five minutes doing just that, until a knock on the door made her aware of the world around her. "Kagome, you have visitors!"
Kagome groaned. She had a feeling she knew who these visitors were, and she didn't want to see them right then. Especially not if they were with him.
Alas, no one really cared what she wanted, and so, it was barely a minute after her mother finished informing her of this new occurrence that the door opened, and in barged her three friends – along with one Taiyoukai. She didn't even have time to wipe her tears before Sesshoumaru started talking. "Miko," he said calmly, as if trying to tick her off on purpose. "I owe you an—"
"You own me nothing!" she shouted, cutting him off angrily. She didn't care what he wanted to say. "I want nothing from you! Not that it would matter, of course," she added icily. "You seem to have a habit of never answering my pleas, so why should I even try?"
"Kagome chan…" Ayumi started. "Calm down—"
"I will not calm down!" Kagome was on a row, she could not stop there. "Don't you understand? He's a killer!"
There were three loud gasps following that statement, and one very unhappy Taiyoukai.
"I did not kill Inuyasha, woman."
Three more gasps followed that statement, only this time, her friends were not satisfied with just that.
"Inuyasha? Wasn't he your boyfriend?"
"You never said he died, Kagome chan!"
"How come you never told us, Kagome chan?"
Kagome, however, ignored them. The mentioning of Inuyasha – and his death – was enough to break the dam in her eyes again. That didn't stop her from answering Sesshoumaru, though.
"No, Sesshoumaru. You weren't the one to deal him the killing blow. But you could have saved him! It would've taken practically nothing on your part, yet you walked away! I know you hated him, but damn, he was your brother!"
Another set of three gasps echoed in Kagome's head, as well as Yuka's question.
"Sesshoumaru? Kiyoshi kun, what's going on here?"
Kagome chuckled mirthlessly – and slightly hysterically – at that. "Yes, Kiyoshi kun. What is going on here?"
He narrowed his eyes at her, causing her to chuckle again. Not that she was anywhere near happy, or even moderately amused, but she could see it was getting on his nerves.
"Miko. You will cease that immediately."
"And if not, what will you do? Kill me? You've already done worse."
"Well," he answered her calmly. "I had planned on telling you Inuyasha's last words, his last request, but if you're so against it…" and with that, he turned to leave, but he hardly managed to make one step before Kagome got up.
"Wait!" she shouted. "His—his last request?"
"Yes, but not here."
"Why?" she asked him, angry again. It was as if he was delaying on purpose! "So I won't make a scene?"
"No." he answered, regarding her coolly. "Because I don't appreciate your family eavesdropping at the door."
Yuka and Ayumi giggled, and Kagome felt like all the wind had blown from her sails.
"Oh. Point there. Where should we go?"
"I would suggest a park. I do not care much for the city's noises and smells."
Kagome nodded. "Figures. Inuyasha hated it as well."
For the first time since she saw him today, Sesshoumaru looked at her, and she could read the expression on his face; it was surprise. "Inuyasha was here? But how?"
Kagome smiled. So he didn't know everything. That was good to know. "Same way I got there," she answered cryptically. She didn't want to say more in front of her friends. In the background, she could hear Eri ask Yuka if she knew what they were talking about, and Yuka's response, "not in the least."
"Hn." Was all Sesshoumaru said, and Kagome was glad he didn't decide to press on the matter right then.
"Well," she forced that smile from before back on her face, "let's go find ourselves a park."
The all walked silently out of Kagome's room, out of her house, and into Sessoumaru's expensive, beautiful car. He half expected some shocked or excited reaction from the Miko when she first saw it – just like Yuka and the other two's. On some level, though, he was glad she didn't turn out to be as shallow as the rest. It was a real surprise to see her in the café this morning – even if he hadn't thought her dead, this was not the company he thought she would keep. His first thought – that this was the Miko's Reincarnation – was proven wrong the moment she saw him. She was the Miko, older and bitter – not that he could blame her.
Driving towards the nearest park, he tried to think of what he would say. After all, he didn't revive the Hanyou because that would've hurt the Miko even more. But how could he tell her that in a way that would not break her completely? She was too close to that today, and that's even before she had learnt the whole story.
He was so busy trying to word himself correctly, he almost missed Yuka's question – or mountain of questions, really. "Kiyoshi kun, why did Kagome chan call you Sesshoumaru? How do you two know each other? Are you really Inuyasha's brother?"
The girl was whispering, he'd give her that, but it was a stupid question to ask with the Miko in the car.
"I will explain everything." He said, taking his eyes off the road for a minute, he looked at his 'girlfriend', who was looking at him expectantly.
"Once we get there," he added, realizing the girl didn't understand the earlier hint. Glancing at the rearview mirror, he could see the Miko glowering at the back. He smiled at her.
Sesshoumaru chose a nice shaded spot under a bulky tree, seating himself with his back against the large trunk. It almost felt like Sengoku Jidai again. Well, if it weren't for the sounds and smells of the city that still filtered through to his senses. He watched as the Miko sat down in front of him, her friends more hesitant to do the same. "C'mon, girls. Sit down. The grass won't bite you." She teased them, the words rolling silently off of her tongue, before she turned to him. "So…" she started, obviously eager to hear what he had to say.
"Do you want the long story of the short one?" he asked her. There were many things he needed to tell her, and he knew she would be impatient. Let it be her decision.
"Story? Didn't you say you were going to tell me Inuyasha's last words, his last request?"
"If you want it this way…" he answered, shrugging. She was impatient. Of course, explanations would have to be made, but that would come later. "Inuyasha asked me to take care of you. He also asked me not to bring him back."
Maybe it was not the best way to word it, he thought. The Miko looked pale, and still, and… broken. Her so called friends didn't appear to notice.
"Bring him back from where?" that was Yuka. He knew she wanted answers, but she could wait. The Miko came first, and she had her own question to ask.
"Why the hell not? He said… did he lie, and chose Kikyou in the end?"
"Of course not." He responded, calmly, hoping some of it would leak to her. She was never known for level-headedness, at least not in his mind, but maybe – hopefully – she had grown up enough to make this conversation work smoothly. "When my brother died… he had the spider tattoo on his back." The Miko let out a gasp.
"The spider… no! How could this be?!" well, there went his hope for a calm conversation. But it was understandable, and also, sadly, unchangeable.
"The spider tattoo?" asked one of the friends. He didn't know which, nor had he cared. She went ignored, as well.
"You know how this could be, Miko." He hated having to try and be gentle. It was not him. He hoped the Miko noticed that. He really hated seeing her like this.
"You should have brought him back anyway. We beat Naraku once; we could have done so again!"
Said Miko apparently had enough of looking like this, pale and broken and lonely – to which he almost sighed in relief – because she had directed all her anger at him. 'Well, it is just like old times.'
"Who's Naraku?" asked the other girl. She was ignored, just like the two before her. Sesshoumaru and Kagome were in a conversation of their own, both forgetting the audience they had.
"Do you not know the significance of that tattoo, girl? Naraku was a part of him. There was no way to destroy Naraku without killing Inuyasha, too."
The Miko did not appear convinced. "Still…"
"Still? Would you rather see Naraku take over him? Make him do despicable acts in his name? My brother died nobly, would you have taken that away from him?" Sesshoumaru was letting his frustration get the better of him. Why didn't she understand?
The Miko appeared shocked, maybe because she had never seen that much emotion from him, or maybe because she'd never heard him praise Inuyasha so. Maybe because she hadn't thought of this argument – after all, she had only begun thinking of this situation now, while he had five hundred years to do so. It didn't matter, because it apparently shut her up and made her think, which was a good thing. Unfortunately, that was the time Yuka's patience had reached its limit.
"What the hell is going on, Kiyoshi kun? Who is this Naraku? Why did Kagome chan call you Sesshoumaru? You promised you'd explain!"
Sesshoumaru turned to look at his girlfriend. She probably had the worst timing ever. Even Kagome, who was supposed to be her friend, was glaring at her in annoyance.
"I call him Sesshoumaru because that's his name." She answered in his stead. Sesshoumaru had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that no good would come from that.
"What do you mean, that's his name? His name is Kiyoshi Taisho. Isn't it right, Kiyoshi kun?"
"Yes, Kiyoshi kun. Isn't it right?" that was the Miko's mocking voice. Maybe she was better as a still and pale and lost girl. He did not like that mocking tone.
It was high time he intervened. "I was born Sesshoumaru, Yuka. Kiyoshi is the name I've given myself."
"Sesshoumaru? Such a horrid name to be given!"
"I think it suits him." Kagome answered, sending him a glare that could only say, if I'm miserable, you're gonna be miserable right here with me.
"The killing perfection?! You really think it suits him?"
"Oh, yeah. Definitely." That damn Miko was smirking! What had made him want to spare her feelings, in the first place? For the life of him, he could not think of an answer right now. He settled on glaring.
"Miko—" he stared, but that infernal girl had cut him off.
"Yeah, I know. My input is unappreciated. Sorry for annoying his lordship, Sesshoumaru sama. Or should I say Kiyoshi sama?"
"Miko… you are testing my patience."
"To what end? You either kill me, proving Yuka and the rest that I was right and you are dangerous, or you don't, and nothing happens. You know there is no other way to shut me up, and frankly, right now I'd much rather be with Inuyasha." He could feel her powers rising to the surface, which was definitely not a good thing.
"Miko—" he growled again, and again she had stopped him. And she was angry.
"My name is Kagome, you arrogant bastard! Can't you use that oh-so-fuckingly-perfect memory of yours to recall that tiniest tidbit?!"
"Kagome chan! Don't talk to him like that!" Sesshoumaru felt oddly pleased to have his girlfriend protecting him. Not that he needed it.
"Why not? Do you honestly think he could prance around, tell me that Inuyasha requested to remain dead? Inuyasha, the one who'd never give up even when all was lost?"
This nonsense had to stop. With the amount of purification the girl was holding, she would purify the entire neighborhood. "Woman, control yourself."
That did not seem to do the job. "It's Kagome, you pigheaded prick! And I will NOT control myself! Inuyasha and I had a future planned! He asked me to stay with him! We were going to complete the Shikon and make a pure wish on it – not the return of Kikyou, not anything he might have wanted before! A PURE wish! Why would he through it all away?! There was still a chance…"
"K-Kagome…" one of the other friends – Ayame? – had laid a hand on the Miko's wrist, trying to divert her attention.
It worked, sort of, as the Miko had sent an angry "what?" to her friends direction.
"You're glowing pink." The same girl answered simply. And finally, finally, the Miko noticed her surroundings. She really needed to work on controlling her powers.
At least her anger seemed to have quieted down.
"Oh—shit."
"I tried telling you earlier, Miko." He informed her, which ultimately it was a bad idea. It made them look at him.
Yuka looked horrified. "K-kiyoshi kun, what the hell happened to your face?!"
Well, how could he answer that? Looking down at his hands, he could see his claws and the markings on his wrists. There was only one thing he could do. He glared at the Miko.
"What the hell is going on here, Kagome chan?" one of the girls had asked, disrupting the stunned silence in which all four had stared at him. Kagome, as had become habit apparently, ignored her.
"You look better with the markings, you know? More… natural. Why do you hide them?" she seemed calmer now, and she also seemed to have realized that at some point while yelling at him she had stood up, because she looked around her and sat down again.
He raised his eyebrow at her. Weren't there more important things to discuss? He always was surprised at the way the Miko could change emotions so fast. He thought at first that it was a human thing, but he was proven wrong. Never the less, he decided to indulge her. She was calm, which would turn to his benefit. "A businessman wearing tattoos?"
Apparently he wasn't the only one who thought there were more important things to discuss. The other girls were talking amongst themselves.
"Yuka chan, do you know what's going on here?!"
"No, but I will not stay in the dark for long. Kiyoshi kun, what's with the things on your face?"
"Things?" Kagome asked her friend, and there was an expression of worry on her face. "Oh kami… you're lucky he apparently stopped killing people for disrespecting him."
Of course, Yuka didn't take that too well. "What do you mean, kill? Kiyoshi kun would never kill someone. Right, Kiyoshi kun?"
Kagome snorted, and Sesshoumaru entertained the notion of killing them all, Miko included. It would definitely save him from the oncoming headache.
"Miko, control yourself. Yuka, as for your question – the Miko's powers have dissipated my glamour pendant. You owe me a new one, Miko."
"When Hell freezes over."
"Miko… do you know how many centuries it took me to find and convince a Miko to make this one? And you had to go and purify it. The polite thing to do will be to restore what you have ruined. Besides, there is no other."
Apparently, this had not been the smart thing to say. "Ce-centuries?" Yuka asked, looking positively terrified. "Are you a vampire?
"Vampire?" he raised his eyebrow at her, feeling slightly insulted. The girl was his girlfriend, for crying out loud. He wondered if the years had began affecting him, making him date a girl that was so… well, stupid came to mind.
"Don't deny it! I saw the teeth!"
Sesshoumaru reined the urge to roll his eyes. The Miko, however, seemed to be having a blast. The infernal girl started chuckling! What was so humorous about this situation?
"Yuka chan, chill. He's not a vampire. See, he's sitting in front of you in broad daylight."
"Than what is he? With fangs like that… how could he be normal?!"
"You forget the claws, ears, eyes, hair, markings, poison, acid whip…"
The Miko was definitely having fun with this conversation, and he couldn't help but glare. And growl. And entertain certain thoughts in his head about beheading and dismantling and acid whips and, oh, why did Tokijin become useless after so many years of disuse?
"Poison?"
"Acid whip??"
"What the fuck?!"
Kagome continued, seemingly oblivious. "Oh, and the fact that he turns into a huge, white dog at will." That said, the Miko burst into full out laughter. This had to stop, before he lost his temper. And it would be messy, too. And he did not feel like trying to explain to the police why he had killed four girls in the park.
"D…dog?!?"
"Miko, stop laughing." He commanded, hoping that once – just this once – she'd actually listen to him.
She didn't. "I…cant…so…hilarious!"
Well, that was a useless way to go through with this. Maybe he should try a different approach. "Yuka, I am an Inuyoukai."
"Inu… Youkai…?"
Of course, the Miko could not stop from adding her two cents, pausing in her laughter just so she could annoy him a little more. "And not just that! A Taiyoukai! Ruler of Feudal Japan's Western Lands."
Sesshoumaru felt his eye begin to tick. It never happened before, but then, he had never felt quite so annoyed. Usually he just dealt with the situation. Usually by killing the situation. "Current Japan." He informed the Miko, finding himself unable to say the things he really wanted to, as most of them would lead to slaughter.
Well, at least it stopped the Miko from her infernal laugh. "Current? I thought… than why do you need Glamour? How did the other Youkai get their human appearances? And how come I've never felt any youki before seeing you today?"
That was apparently more than Yuka could handle. "Others? Youki? Oh, merciful Kami Sama!" and she fainted.
"I think the shock was too much for your girlfriend…" Kagome sniggered, though she did look worriedly at her friend.
"Hn." He replied, going to help Yuka up. She woke the minute he touched her shoulder.
"Don't touch me you—you freak!"
He stiffened, quiet. It was hard to talk while he was trying to ignore the rage coming from the beast in him and the need to kill, slowly and painfully, for the insolence.
And surprisingly, it was the Miko who had come to his aide. And she had stopped laughing, which was an added bonus. "Yuka, calm down." She ordered her friend coldly.
"Calm down?! You have just told me that my boyfriend is actually a youkai, a creature from your Jiichan's stories and fairytales, and you want me to calm down?! Ew, I can't believe I almost slept with it!"
"What the hell, Yuka! Are you honestly that shallow, to call him an 'it' after what – four months together? How heartless could you get?! Even I don't do that, and he has tried to kill me even more times than I could remember!"
As much as he appreciated her standing up for him – apparently she thought she was the only one allowed to make fun of him, it was once again time to calm the Miko down. He was surprised by the fact that he did not feel anything after hearing Yuka's disgust – other than the need to punish her for insulting him.
"Miko, calm down. Any more anger and even this Sesshoumaru would have a hard time resisting purification."
"See? Even he said so! Purifying him will kill him. He's evil."
"Yuka, don't talk about things you don't know, or I'll just have to go over there and slap some sense into you! There are good youkai as well as bad youkai – it's not the powers, it's what you do with them that destines whether you are good or bad. Did you know that there are dark Miko, Miko who use their so called 'pure' powers to bring illness and plagues on the people?"
"Like you, befriending those creatures?"
Oh, she did not just say that. For some reason, hearing the girl insulting the Miko had angered him more than hearing her insult him. He stood up, growling and glaring at the stupid girl. "You will leave, now, and you will take the other two, as well. And if either of you ever speaks wrongly about Kagome again, I WILL hunt you down like the prey you are and make sure you receive a slow and painful death. And the same goes if any of you talks about what happened today. Go."
They were terrified, and he inhaled deeply, finding satisfaction in the scent, before looking at the girl who had remained, the one who had started it all, the one he had been looking for so long.
"You used my name…" she said, her eyes wide with shock. "You never do that! But… did you have to be that harsh?"
"You expected me to coddle her?"
"Well… no. but… they're my friends!"
"Do your friends often say such things about you?"
"Well, no. but—"
"You need to stop dwelling in the past, Miko."
"Huh?" was her more than intelligent reply.
"And to expand your vocabulary," he muttered to himself, before sitting back down and continuing his conversation with the Miko. "Things change, Kagome. You were friends with these three in the past, but the past is just that – passed. You have outgrown them."
"Oh… I do believe this is the most vocal I have ever seen – well, heard – you. Ever."
"You are dwelling in the past again. Five hundred years could change a lot in a youkai, you know."
They sat in silence for a while, before she turned to him. "How do you succeed?"
"You accept what you cannot fight. You cannot fight time, Kagome. If you hang on the 'what if's, you are bound to fall in the end."
"Oh… that makes sense, in a way."
"This Sesshoumaru does not say inane things as a habit. I believe this particular attribute lies in your department."
She chuckled. "You have a point there, too. Though, I think I might have outgrown that as well."
"I should hope not."
"Huh?"
"It's one of the traits I found most interesting about you. That and the fact that you never seemed to fear me… Not like now."
"Yeah," she said, sighing wistfully. "I was pretty much a fool back then. At first, I kept thinking that this was a weird dream, and that nothing could harm me. I didn't think it possible for me to die in a world I didn't belong to… by the time I had realized that I was indeed not immortal, you had Rin chan, and had saved my life, as well."
"Rin… I haven't thought of her in a long time."
"Sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned her."
"No, it is all right. I have accepted her death, in the end. It was inevitable, and as hard as I tried, I could not fight it."
"What… how did she…?"
"Die? Of old age. She married, though she never had children. She was happy."
"Oh. And… what about Sango chan and Miroku sama – do you—" she paused. "No, don't tell me. They're dead, what does it matter now? It's not like I can fight it…"
He nodded. The sat some more time in silence, looking at the trees around them, two beings connected by the past that they have been trying to overcome. And Sesshoumaru thought that maybe, just maybe, together it would be easier than alone.
I know what you guys are thinking. "Oh look, another post-well story where Kagome meets Sesshoumaru." Well, I've already warned you that I find this the most interesting topic to write FanFics in Inuverse. I do try to make them different - and if I fail at that, then it's time to raise the red flags.
Hope you liked!
Lyla