I have to say, it's really frustrating to love someone who loves someone else. That someone else being my best friend. It's also kind of down putting. He doesn't even like her! He's been going out with that perverted older guy. He says that nothing's going on, but we all know there is.

My self esteem couldn't be much lower, and I know this, but at least if I was in his place then I wouldn't lead her on. I've had just about enough of this!!

The walk home from school was….lonely. Yuiko was sick and, of course, Ritsuka was picked up by his older lover. It was raining slightly and I had forgotten my coat at home this morning. My ears and tail droops as the dreary weather dampened my spirit even more.

I'm a little concerned about myself. I seem to be getting more and more depressed. It's nothing out of the ordinary, though. I remember going to counseling when I was a kid for depression.

Home was lonely, as usual, and Mom was out of town today. The house was deathly quiet and every move I made seemed to echo in the small house. This did nothing to help with my depressed spirit, and only made it worse.

Finding the note on the counter from Mom explained why she wasn't there and I moved to my bedroom. The small room seemed even smaller today, although it was impossible for the room to suddenly shrink. I sighed as I set my back pack on the bed. The day had not gone as well as I would have liked. I ended up tripping down the stairs, failing a test, and ran into a wall in gym. No, the day had not been a good one.

I slowly undid all the buttons from my shirt and slipped it off. I threw it in the over-flowing basket and collapsed on my small bed. I suddenly felt as if the room was closing in and I closed my eyes tightly. I had a problem with claustrophobia when I was kid. Actually, I had a lot of problems as a kid.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. It didn't seem to help. I rushed off the bed and threw open the window. Cool air rushed in, along with rain, but it helped with the claustrophobia. The walls went back to place and after a few moments I decided it would be okay to close the window.

The humidity had been messing with my asthma and if I let in too much air then the humidity would follow. I'd been trying not to use my inhaler as much, hoping to seem less wimpy. Not that it changed Yuiko's thoughts of me or anything.

The doorbell rang, breaking me out of my thoughts, and I rushed to put on a dry shirt. I sighed as I stood in front of the door. I was too short to reach the peep hole so I just turned the knob, hoping it wasn't a rapist or anything like that (not that I was paranoid or anything).

My next door neighbor, Takashi, stood in front of me. The tall boy had been one of my best friends since I was little. He was a year older than myself and was the exact opposite from me. Tall, handsome, blonde hair (dyed), and an outgoing personality.

He was my first crush, but I had gotten over that when I met Yuiko. I learned I was bisexual when I was really young. He, of course, never knew about my small crush and I never expressed it to him.

I heard him laugh and suddenly fingers were in front of my face, snapping.

"Yayoi-kun, you have to stop losing focus when your friends are outside freezing and your inside." He joked. I laughed nervously and quickly ushered him in. He was soaked and shivering.

I quickly offered him a towel and he took it with a grin. I would have offered him one of my shirts like they do in movies, but I'm so small and he's so…..not. It wasn't long before we were both in the living room, playing games. He may be big and cool, but he sucked at video games.

It was ten before my mom came home and went to bed. She was so used to have Takashi that she didn't think anything about him staying. It was around eleven when we moved to the kitchen to get a snack. We never did have a lot in the fridge, but Takashi was a health nut and he loved to cook for people.

Takashi moved around our kitchen like it was his own, and it practically was, while I sat in on the counter. He was making peanut butter, bananas, and crackers. I thought it was dangerous to use sharp knives to do anything and so I let him cut the bananas. I never understood why he liked to use the sharp knives to cut the bananas when he could just cut them with a normal knife.

I watched him nervously as he pulled out the knife from the drawer. It was a knife that most people used to cut meat and it looked unnaturally sharp. I suddenly had this vision of the knife suddenly turning alive and stabbing Takashi in the stomach. I gasped and shook the vision out of my mind. Takashi suddenly turned to find out why I had gasped, only to cut his self on the knife.

I gasped again and stumbled off the counter to get to him, only to slip in the tile and go crashing to the ground. The fall wasn't as painful as hearing Takashi yelling my name. I stumbled up to my feet and rushed to Takashi. He was clutching his hand, but all his attention was on me. At first I was filled with pride that he was more worried about me than his hand, until I saw his hand. There was blood dripping through his fingers from his hand. I shot forward to grab his hand, but he flinched away from me and knocked the knife from the counter where he had set it.

It all happened in slow motion.

The tile made me slip and I fell toward Takashi. He set his hands out to catch me, but his feet weren't stable and we both tumbled to the floor. I fell on top of Takashi and gasped horribly. Takashi stared blankly forward, eyes wide with pain, and he lay frozen on the floor. I jumped off of him quickly and screamed.

He had fallen on the knife.