He saw a familiar figure walking under the rows of cherry blossom trees. He couldn't help but stare at the back of that person. The person whom he loved many years ago.
How many years has it been since the last time time they have met? He left Japan without even saying goodbye personally. Their last encounter was heartbreaking. Remembering it now, he was filled with nothing but nostalgia. The succeeding encounters were nothing but the other person running away for him. And his heart ached everytime, knowing full well that he couldn't have him.
After his ex-girlfriend died from a car accident, he felt like there was a big hole in his chest. He wouldn't deny that there were times when he wanted to go back to the past and change things. What if he wasn't the honor student type that he was? What if he was just an ordinary guy? Would she dumped him still?
From the moment he heard of her demise, his life fell in shambles. Anyone would have envy him for his good looks and intelligence. But those did not matter to him. His life was a living hell. He stopped caring for himself which worried his family especially his younger brother. He needed to drop some of his subjects that semester as well. It was a terrible time for him.
Just when he thought that he was finally picking up the pieces of his life, he met him. Not directly but thae first time he saw him, he was with his boyfriend – who happens to be a popular freshman in his university. There was something in the way he looked at his lover that hit him. He was instantly reminded of the look of his past girlfriend. The other guy looked proud and filled with love that it was bothering him. He knew he couldn't leave the guy the way he was.
He was not gay to begin with. But there was a strong attraction that he felt with this guy. And this guy have a male partner to boot. He knew that getting too close was as close as asking for trouble yet he couldn't stop himself. He had to see, talk with him, even for a little while.
He felt relaxed whenever they were together that he slowly opened himself up to this person. His past, his background, he talked all about it. But this person was full of surprises. He was stunned to see the guy cry for him, hurt all over his features. At that moment, it was as if something snapped inside of him. That that was the time when he had to cross the line between friendship and love. He couldn't help falling for this guy even if he was younger than him. He was captivated by his personality: tough as a weed, bright as the sun, yet delicate as the ring on his finger.
You know you are doomed when you harbour an unrequited love. He knew that as well. But what could he do when he had fallen this deep? He also knew full well that nothing will come out of his feelings but one could hope, right? Especially when the person was too kind to push him away. Before it was too late, he realized that it was a double edged sword. The other guy did not want him as a partner but he wanted to retain their friendship. It was freaking unfair.
The moment he had been preparing for came. He was downright rejected and prohibited any further meetings with him. He was pretty sure he heard his heart being ripped apart. While the words said were stern and full of conviction, the younger man's expressions betrayed him. The guy's hurting and it's because of him. He couldn't have that. Yet, he couldn't suppress his feelings for him altogether. He was at a complete loss.
Despite the heartbreak, he did not let his life fell apart this time. He decided that he'd stay away even if it kills him. He'd rather have that than hurt his beloved. However, he couldn't stay in the same place, breathing the same air. He had to go somewhere far. To heal himself and be a better guy.
He told his younger brother that he wouldn't stop loving that person. He did not mean it as not loving another person at all. It was more of holding onto the precious feelings he had for a precious person.
So he left.
And moved on with his life.
Yet after all this years, just one look at that person and all his feelings wash over him. But he wouldn't make the same mistake. He was stronger now, afterall.
He breathed in deeply and braced himself. With determined steps, he walked towards the younger guy who stopped in his tracks to appreciate the cherry blossoms.
"It's been a while, Wataru." Asaka called out to him and smiled.