It was a quiet night in Toledo. Light rain pitter pattered against the window. Soft moonlight peeked through the blinds of the motel room. I watch Sam as he lie asleep in the king sized bed. I've always liked to watch Sam sleep, ever since I was a kid. There was something angelic about the way my brother slept. He looked peaceful. My eyes gazed upon his shirtless body. The lines and definitions of his arms, the dip in his back. His chestnut colored hair in the moonlight. There he was, never did he look more vulnerable, never more did he look so beautiful. Sammy, my Sammy. The little boy I've loved ever since I can remember. Sure I've fucked women, I've fucked a lot of women. Shit you could say the name Dean Winchester, and it would be synonymous with the word manwhore. Sure I've been in love, who hasn't? But the women I loved, no matter how great the relationship was, felt empty, like I was missing something. I was. I was missing my other half, my soul mate, my brother.
I looked at him in his peaceful slumber. He looked so innocent. It was almost as if the last decade never happened, almost. I miss that Sammy. Carefree Sammy. Azazel fucked that up. Damn yellow eyed bastard. Sometimes I wonder, what would have happened to us, if Azazel never killed Jess. And if dad were still here. Even after all this time, I still wonder. I'll never forget how happy Jess made him. Sammy smiled in a way that I thought only I could make him. I let out a deep sigh. My eyelids were heavy from the long drive from Indiana. I ran my fingers through my hair. I was getting tired, man. That bed was looking more and more comfortable. I was almost certain that the bed was old and probably smelled like piss, but I didn't care. The man I loved was in that bed, and where ever he lays his head, is home.
I peel off my jacket and shirt, and climb into the bed next to Sam. I can feel his warmth, his radiance against my skin. I lick my bottom lip. My fingers comb Sam's chestnut colored hair. My baby brother stirs in his sleep.
"Dean..." He murmured sleepily. I pull him closer to me.
"Hey Sammy" I say quietly.
I kiss him on the forehead and then on his lips. There was nothing more comforting to me than to be with Sam right now. All the shit we've been through, I've been to hell and back literally for him. It was worth it. Sam made it worth it. I gently graze my fingertips along his bare back. I felt him breathing on top of me. His head laying perfectly on my chest.
"I'm sleepy Dean..." He managed to sputter out while sleeping.
"I know, Sammy. Try to get some rest."
I could still hear the rain pitter pattering against the window. As I fell asleep, it was like all of our troubles went away. For a moment it felt like it was just Sam and Dean... My brother, my lover.