Saturday, March 15, 2014
This story is set just after STAR TREK IV.
SAREK IS A HORNY OLD MAN!
"Um, Dr. Taylor, about Ambassador Sarek. . . . ." Admiral Smith began as they chatted in the ladies room at the restaurant. "I've been debating whether to tell you this."
"Tell me what? He seems like a very nice guy to me."
"Ambassador Sarek is a horny old man! He's in a position of plausible deniablity. He's in a position of power. He's in a position where nobody will believe he is capable of that kind of conduct." Kathy paced the ladies room in front of the sinks. Today he was on his best behavior."
"What did he do?"
"Twenty-odd years ago when me, Mr. Sporek and the Defiant crew first arrived in the 23rd Century, I was sent on a bullshit diplomatic mission to the Federation on Earth. It was strictly a civilian mission. My yoeman came in at five in the morning with a garment bag with one of my civillian business suits in it. Anyhoo, the Enterprise picked me up and took me to Earth to petition for the Land of Light to join the Federation. I got the message just five minutes before from Utera no Chi Chi."
"Utera no Chichi?"
"Father of Ultra. Gentleman with big horns." Kathy gestured around her head to indicate big horns.
Gillian nodded sceptically. "What is the 'Land of Light'?"
"Nebula M-78."
Gillian still looked confused.
"Messier Object 78. You can look it up. Anyhoo, the Federation and a whole bunch of entities grew up around it, kind of like suburban sprawl. It was once waaaaaaaaaaay out in the middle of nowhere. There were no neighboring political entities back in the 20th Century.
"When I arrived on Earth, I beamed into this sort of welcoming reception. Anyone who stepped off the transporter pad was welcomed by Federation officials. Guess who was the very first person to greet me? That's right. Ambassador Sarek! He pushed his way through the crowd so he was the very first person I saw when I finished materialising. He quickly introduced himself, told me welcome to Earth and to this session of the Federation council meeting and shook my hand! Can you believe that?"
"Uh, what's wrong with shaking your hand?" Gillian honestly did not know.
"Vulcans are touch telepaths. In genral, they do NOT shake hands when greeting someone or being introduced to someone. Sarek held my hand a half second too long. Not only that, he tickled the palm of my hand! How vulgar!"
Gillian gave her a questioning look.
"That was a little TOO intimate! It made me very uncomfortable. That was waaaaaaaaaaay too intimate for a Vulcan! It was Sarek's idea to shake MY hand. It was NOT my idea! He initaited it. He hoped I was a dumb human who did not know any better! I was not sleeping well on Enterprise. I was kind of sleepy and did not fully realize what was going on till after the fact!" Admiral Smith paced the floor. She was obviously upset by this.
"I'm sorry," Gillian started to say. "I am sorry you are so upset by this."
"It was over twenty years ago. Don't be. I'm getting upset about it as if it were yesterday. That was amazing how you went up to him and pumped his hand!"
"Did you tell anyone?"
"I think Sporek picked up I was not happy about something at the time. And of course, on Earth shaking someone's hand does not look strange or out of place. And nobody would see him tickling the palm of my hand, either. You have to remember Sarek's in a position where nobody'd believe me if I told them he was touching me inappropriately. Like in the 20th Century, people in positions of power can crap on everyone else and get away with it.
"Over the time I was on Earth, he had a way of being right behind me. There was a bruncheon buffet. I reached for a piece of ham. His hand was right over mine. Sarek would be a vegetarian! He would NOT eat ham! If I turned around he was there! In fact, there was a crapload of red roses in my room one evening! I wondered who died till I read the tag. They were from Sarek! This did NOT make me feel comfortable! Fortunately, the situation back home changed and I did not have to stick around."
"That does sound creepy. He would have no reason to be THAT interested in you."
"It's all in the past now. Come on, let's go back out and have desert!" Admiral Smith guided Gillian by the arm back into the dining area. "Sporek is sitting there all by his lonesome!"
Gillian and Kathy made their way through the dining room. They arrived just in time to see Ambassador Sarek slumped against a neighboring table, emarald green blood gushing from his nose. The woman from the council chamber stood over him, trying to lift him up.
"Sarek, what happened?" the woman demanded.
"Ask Mr. Sporek over there!" Sarek pointed to Sporek, standing with his fist clenched, trying everything in his power to control the expression on his face.
"He touched my. . . . .Admiral Smith!"
The white haired woman looked disbelievingly at Sporek. "Sarek would never do anything like that!"
The good Admiral pulled a communicator out of a pocket in her uniform and flipped it open. She did NOT want to stick around for the fall out from this! "Defiant! This is Admiral Smith! Three to beam up at these coordinates! Immediately!" She flipped it closed. Gillian Taylor, Mr. Sporek and Admiral Smith sparkled away, or at least as best they could with movie era transporter effects.
They stood in Defiant's transporter room, looking at each other on the platform. Gillian felt she could never get used to transporter technology. Kathy looked around at Sporek and Gillian ascertaining they were all right. A transporter operator stared at them.
"Mr. Sporek, would you mind telling me what the hell that was all about?" Admiral Smith demanded at the top of her voice. Kathy began to stomp angrily out of the transporter room. They sort of forgot about Gillian Taylor. Gillian followed them not knowing where to go.
"I . . I felt you were in emotional distress. . ." Sporek began. /I would prefer not to discuss it in the presense of Dr. Taylor./
/So you 'overheard' our conversation in the ladies room?/
/I did not mean to eavesdrop. I am sorry, aduna. Please forgive me./
/Forgiven./ Kathy spoke aloud to a passing yoeman, "Yoeman, assign Dr. Taylor here guest quarters."
"Aye, aye, sir!" The yeoman turned to Dr. Taylor. "This way please, Dr. Taylor."
"It was a lovely evening, Dr. Taylor. I am truly sorry about how it ended!" Kathy called after her.
Kathy and Sporek walked in the opposite direction. "Why the fuck did you have to slug Ambassador Sarek? This was twenty years ago! Why were you eavesdropping on our conversation in the ladies room?"
"I sensed you were in emotional distress about this incident. Ambassador Sarek had the bad taste to touch someone else's wife. As I overheard in your conversation with Dr. Taylor, he is in a position to 'crap all over' everyone else. Nobody will believe you if you were to step forward."
Admiral Smith waited impatiently for more.
"You were upset enough you forgot to shield your thoughts from me. The Ambassador and his wife happened to walk by while you and Dr. Taylor were away from our table. I felt angered enough to punch him."
"You do realize Sarek may press charges?"
"Yes I do."
As an admiral, Kathy would have to deal with the fall out from this incident. As she thought of the consequences of this incident, she could feel herself grow very moist. There was still something very exciting about Sporek's willingness to resort to physical violence on her behalf.
Kathy clasped Sporek's hand. /Come along, my husband. Let's turn in early. Your actions have made me very very moist!/
Sporek did not know what to say. One moment, his wife was very angry with him, the next she desired intimacy. He dumbly followed her to their quarters.
/
"Do you plan to press charges, Sarek?" Amanda asked as Sarek held a plain white handkerchef to his nose. It was covered with green blood. They were walking back to their accommodation.
"What good would it do? Apparently, Sporek found out something distressing regarding his wife that somehow involved me."
"In spite of being a liberated modern woman, Admiral Smith is probably very busy right now anyway," Amanda said mischievously.
"How is that?" Sarek was puzzled.
"She would still find it very romantic that her man would resort to physical violence for her."
"Oh!" was all Sarek could say.
END