Disclaimer: I am an 18 year old who is mesmerized by Willow and Tara. Joss
Whedon and the folks at UPN and ME owns the characters… oh God, please
don't sue!
Rating: I bear no talent in writing an NC-17 type of fiction (guess why). This one is PG-13 to probably an R.
Feedback: Want. Need. Please.
Summary: Picks up after "Tabula Rasa" when exactly… I have no idea.
Author's Note: I love Willow. I love Tara. I love them together. Let's make them together again… in a way.
1 Healing
by
tiffany (rogueslayer747@yahoo.com)
(alexis_866@yahoo.com)
================================================================
"Damn it!" Willow muttered as she dropped the bag of groceries she was carrying while she fumbled for the keys of her dorm room.
"Need help?" A familiar voice behind her offered.
"I guess so," Willow replied, her voice was cold, much to Tara's surprise. For all the times they have been together, this was indeed, the first time Tara saw Willow so torn. It's different than the tough times they had before for Tara could almost hear the screaming that was happening inside Willow's head. Partly, she blamed herself for it.
"OK." Tara bent down, gently lifting the last piece of apple that rolled out from the brown paper bag. For a while she paused, looking carefully at Willow.
'She has lost weight.' Tara thought. "No, it's okay, you open the door while I carry this," Tara said to Willow as she lifted the bag from the floor.
Willow took a long sigh, and complied. She restlessly opened the door and walked in, turning the lights on as she made way for Tara to enter.
"You can put that on the table," Willow told Tara without even looking at her. "I'm gonna go to bed, I'm tired, lock the door when you leave."
With this comment, Tara became furious. 'I refuse to be treated like this,' is what she told herself. 'I am here, trying to help, and suddenly you are acting as if I was the one who violated my brain by casting a spell?'
"That's it. I'm not gonna take any of this, Willow. This isn't you." Tara said, the obvious pain and irritation in her voice echoed through the room as she pulled Willow's blanket off her body.
"What the…" Willow sat up, annoyed by Tara's sudden confidence. "So, this? You expect me to believe that *this* is you? Well, Tara Maclay, don't expect to act *myself* if you obviously isn't you either!"
"Just what exactly do you mean by that?"
"Oh, you don't know? The I'm-too-cool-I-can-fully-handle-the-pathetic- Willow alter ego that you are suddenly showing right now! Please!" Willow immediately turned her back and slumped herself right back into the bed.
"Oh, I understand. You'd better see me as the stuttering, insecure and totally dependent girlfriend that you had before. The one you could totally control. The one that you could manipulate with your magic. Well, Willow, I'm sorry to disappoint you," Tara took a deep breath, "but things change, and maybe, people change, too."
A long, awkward silence filled the room. It was almost deafening, Tara stood at the edge of Willow's bed a little longer, realizing that nothing progressive could happen any further, she decided to leave.
"I'm g-gonna go now." But this time, Tara's voice was unsure. She didn't know why exactly, but the sight of Willow burying her face deep into the pillows like as if she was trying to get as far from her as possible made Tara's heart crumble into pieces.
"Don't," A faint sound emanated from one the corners of the room. "Please don't leave."
Tara turned around, this time, Willow was seated at the edge of the bed, and her eyes were pleading as tears rolled down from them down her cheeks. The sight of her love broken was more than what Tara could take.
Waiting no more than a second, Tara hurried herself and enveloped Willow into a warm, tight and reassuring embrace.
"Shhhh," Tara whispered to Willow's ear. "It's gonna be alright."
Willow was choking her sobs by that moment. She longed for this. She longed to feel Tara's body next to her. She never felt so alone until Tara left. And from that moment, she was never herself again. Willow would bury herself into her books, clean her room and almost do laundry everyday just to keep her mind off of Tara. After Tara had gone, the most mundane of activities made sense to Willow, they gave her the pretense of having control and assured her of a false feeling of normalcy.
It felt like it must have been hours until Tara and Willow broke their embrace. Tara gently stroked the hair that covered Willow's now-swollen eyes away and lifted Willow's chin and made her look at her.
"Will, please don't do this to yourself. You are far stronger than this," Tara said, tears flowing from her eyes, begging.
"I can't Tara. Because maybe, I am not that strong after all. You are the only one whom I drew my strength from," the tears never left Willow's eyes. "I'm just so lost without you."
"Will, remember the time when you said you found me? I'm still here. And I keep my promise that I will never leave. I never did. We both just had to take some time off… to learn."
Willow was looking directly into Tara's eyes. Listening closely than she ever did. Tara continued,
"I know it's hard. Not a day passes by without me thinking of hugging you, and kissing you and… m-making love to you. But if we cannot survive this, then how could we possibly survive the other trials that will brace us in the future?"
Willow didn't know what to say. But she knew one thing, that all of the things Tara said were true. And with that, she knew she had fallen more in love with Tara than she ever had before.
"I love you so much Tara. And I'll do anything—everything just to win you back."
"I'd like that," Tara assured Willow by placing a gentle kiss on her pale lips, "but you need to take care and do everything for yourself first. As I've said, I'll never leave. I'll wait until we are both ready to start again because I, too, love you so much."
"I know. But please, just this once, stay with me. It's been along time since… I've been with anyone. I just… I just…"
"You just what, Will?"
"I just need you to hold me."
"That wouldn't be a problem. I'll stay over…"
Willow smiled at Tara's generosity, but before any other thought could come crossing Willow's mind, Tara made sure,
"… But only for tonight."
"I know."
After that, they tucked themselves into Willow's bed. Surprisingly, it was Tara who fell asleep first. Willow smiled at this; Tara never did strike her as as sleep-deprived as Tara was right that moment.
Willow seized this opportunity. For she read somewhere that people listen best when they are asleep. When they don't know they are listening.
"I'm gonna win you back, Tara. People may change but feelings don't. I promise. I won't screw up this time. I'm gonna win you back."
The end.
Rating: I bear no talent in writing an NC-17 type of fiction (guess why). This one is PG-13 to probably an R.
Feedback: Want. Need. Please.
Summary: Picks up after "Tabula Rasa" when exactly… I have no idea.
Author's Note: I love Willow. I love Tara. I love them together. Let's make them together again… in a way.
1 Healing
by
tiffany (rogueslayer747@yahoo.com)
(alexis_866@yahoo.com)
================================================================
"Damn it!" Willow muttered as she dropped the bag of groceries she was carrying while she fumbled for the keys of her dorm room.
"Need help?" A familiar voice behind her offered.
"I guess so," Willow replied, her voice was cold, much to Tara's surprise. For all the times they have been together, this was indeed, the first time Tara saw Willow so torn. It's different than the tough times they had before for Tara could almost hear the screaming that was happening inside Willow's head. Partly, she blamed herself for it.
"OK." Tara bent down, gently lifting the last piece of apple that rolled out from the brown paper bag. For a while she paused, looking carefully at Willow.
'She has lost weight.' Tara thought. "No, it's okay, you open the door while I carry this," Tara said to Willow as she lifted the bag from the floor.
Willow took a long sigh, and complied. She restlessly opened the door and walked in, turning the lights on as she made way for Tara to enter.
"You can put that on the table," Willow told Tara without even looking at her. "I'm gonna go to bed, I'm tired, lock the door when you leave."
With this comment, Tara became furious. 'I refuse to be treated like this,' is what she told herself. 'I am here, trying to help, and suddenly you are acting as if I was the one who violated my brain by casting a spell?'
"That's it. I'm not gonna take any of this, Willow. This isn't you." Tara said, the obvious pain and irritation in her voice echoed through the room as she pulled Willow's blanket off her body.
"What the…" Willow sat up, annoyed by Tara's sudden confidence. "So, this? You expect me to believe that *this* is you? Well, Tara Maclay, don't expect to act *myself* if you obviously isn't you either!"
"Just what exactly do you mean by that?"
"Oh, you don't know? The I'm-too-cool-I-can-fully-handle-the-pathetic- Willow alter ego that you are suddenly showing right now! Please!" Willow immediately turned her back and slumped herself right back into the bed.
"Oh, I understand. You'd better see me as the stuttering, insecure and totally dependent girlfriend that you had before. The one you could totally control. The one that you could manipulate with your magic. Well, Willow, I'm sorry to disappoint you," Tara took a deep breath, "but things change, and maybe, people change, too."
A long, awkward silence filled the room. It was almost deafening, Tara stood at the edge of Willow's bed a little longer, realizing that nothing progressive could happen any further, she decided to leave.
"I'm g-gonna go now." But this time, Tara's voice was unsure. She didn't know why exactly, but the sight of Willow burying her face deep into the pillows like as if she was trying to get as far from her as possible made Tara's heart crumble into pieces.
"Don't," A faint sound emanated from one the corners of the room. "Please don't leave."
Tara turned around, this time, Willow was seated at the edge of the bed, and her eyes were pleading as tears rolled down from them down her cheeks. The sight of her love broken was more than what Tara could take.
Waiting no more than a second, Tara hurried herself and enveloped Willow into a warm, tight and reassuring embrace.
"Shhhh," Tara whispered to Willow's ear. "It's gonna be alright."
Willow was choking her sobs by that moment. She longed for this. She longed to feel Tara's body next to her. She never felt so alone until Tara left. And from that moment, she was never herself again. Willow would bury herself into her books, clean her room and almost do laundry everyday just to keep her mind off of Tara. After Tara had gone, the most mundane of activities made sense to Willow, they gave her the pretense of having control and assured her of a false feeling of normalcy.
It felt like it must have been hours until Tara and Willow broke their embrace. Tara gently stroked the hair that covered Willow's now-swollen eyes away and lifted Willow's chin and made her look at her.
"Will, please don't do this to yourself. You are far stronger than this," Tara said, tears flowing from her eyes, begging.
"I can't Tara. Because maybe, I am not that strong after all. You are the only one whom I drew my strength from," the tears never left Willow's eyes. "I'm just so lost without you."
"Will, remember the time when you said you found me? I'm still here. And I keep my promise that I will never leave. I never did. We both just had to take some time off… to learn."
Willow was looking directly into Tara's eyes. Listening closely than she ever did. Tara continued,
"I know it's hard. Not a day passes by without me thinking of hugging you, and kissing you and… m-making love to you. But if we cannot survive this, then how could we possibly survive the other trials that will brace us in the future?"
Willow didn't know what to say. But she knew one thing, that all of the things Tara said were true. And with that, she knew she had fallen more in love with Tara than she ever had before.
"I love you so much Tara. And I'll do anything—everything just to win you back."
"I'd like that," Tara assured Willow by placing a gentle kiss on her pale lips, "but you need to take care and do everything for yourself first. As I've said, I'll never leave. I'll wait until we are both ready to start again because I, too, love you so much."
"I know. But please, just this once, stay with me. It's been along time since… I've been with anyone. I just… I just…"
"You just what, Will?"
"I just need you to hold me."
"That wouldn't be a problem. I'll stay over…"
Willow smiled at Tara's generosity, but before any other thought could come crossing Willow's mind, Tara made sure,
"… But only for tonight."
"I know."
After that, they tucked themselves into Willow's bed. Surprisingly, it was Tara who fell asleep first. Willow smiled at this; Tara never did strike her as as sleep-deprived as Tara was right that moment.
Willow seized this opportunity. For she read somewhere that people listen best when they are asleep. When they don't know they are listening.
"I'm gonna win you back, Tara. People may change but feelings don't. I promise. I won't screw up this time. I'm gonna win you back."
The end.