EDIT: Fixed mistake in first line, thank you very much to 'dreamer girl134' for pointing it out :)
"POTTER, GET OUT OF BED OR I'LL DRAG YOU OUT BY YOUR STUPID HAIR!"
Sirius was not a morning person.
"TOUCH MY HAIR AND I'LL SEND YOU TO THE GREAT HALL WITH YOUR TAIL BETWEEN YOUR LEGS!"
James loved mornings. As long as they were spent in bed, of course.
"COME ON THEN, YOU SPECCY GIT, HAVE A GO!"
"GLADLY, IF I WEREN'T AT RISK OF FLEAS!"
"I'LL SHOVE YOUR BLOODY ANTLERS UP YOUR ARSE!"
Remus and Peter were once impartial, but had acquired particular disdain for mornings after not experiencing a quiet one in six years.
"Sirius, put your wand down, you've already got a week of detentions from Saturday." Remus warned as he adjusted his tie.
Sirius begrudgingly replaced his wand in his pocket, grinning nostalgically at memories of his most recent drunken escapade.
"James, he's right," Remus continued with his self assigned mediating position, "We're already late for breakfast."
"It's Monday," James's voice was muffled from the blanket he'd pulled over his head, "The teachers expect me to be late on Mondays."
Sirius made an impatient noise, ready to yell again. As far as Sirius was concerned, if he had to be awake and cold at this hour, everyone did.
"If James isn't going to class, neither am I." Peter piped up, edging hopefully towards his warm bed.
"James is going to bloody class!" Sirius snapped, pulling his wand out again, "Even if the whole bloody bed has to go with him."
"Try it." James dared, sitting up, "I'd like to see McGonagall's face."
Sirius hesitated, then snarled and pocketed his wand once more.
"James, move it, we've got an exam in Potions today, I want to go by the library this morning to finish my notes." Remus reminded him, retreating to the bathroom to brush his teeth.
James scoffed and fell back onto his pillows, "Potions exam? All the more reason to stay in bed."
"You've had all weekend to sleep and write some notes," Remus called out.
"You had all weekend," James contradicted importantly, "I had Quidditch practice."
"If the team's new tactic is getting drunk and infiltrating the Ravenclaw girl's dormitory at midnight, then it looked like you were doing a great job." Sirius replied hotly.
"So were you!" James retorted, "Maybe you should try out for the team?"
"We're so late..." Peter muttered anxiously, "Can you finish this conversation on the way to Charms?"
"JAMES!"
The sudden bark made them all jump. Remus had emerged from the bathroom, livid.
"Get out of bed and get dressed! Now!" he ordered, slinging his bag over his shoulder.
James sat up, deciding not to argue with his werewolf friend. From his warm seat in his bed, he reached for the nearest shirt (Sirius's) and tie.
"You're so bossy, Moony," he teased, pulling the shirt on, "Always telling me what to do. 'Don't do this, don't do that. Do do this, do do that. Don't stick that there, you'll get a yeast infection.'..."
Sirius (in a better mood now that progress was being made) and Peter roared with laughter but Remus was too far gone into stress to even crack a smile.
"I'm surprised your thick head can even comprehend such a word," he snapped, "Hurry up!"
Still snickering, James finally got out of bed to find some pants.
"Relax, Moony," Sirius soothed, picking up his bag and joining his friend by the door, "You don't have from now until we get to Charms to finish a two roll essay."
"E-essay?" James stammered, dropping the trousers he'd retrieved.
Remus narrowed his eyes, "Yes, James, essay. You have done it, haven't you?"
"Erm..." James coughed, edging to his left.
"What are you doing?" Sirius demanded cautiously.
"Of course I've finished my essay," he muttered absently, "I just left it... over here..."
With grace and skill that only a Quidditch player could possess, he made a dive.
"No!" Sirius yelled, lurching forward too late, arms outstretched and grasping at nothingness.
"POTTER, FOR GOD'S SAKE, GET OUT OF BED!"
It was henceforth told that James was not, in fact, a morning person, particularly when he hadn't finished his homework. On a related note, if one were to closely study the wood of the Gryffindor table, they should still find the faint scratches and indents that served as reminders of the memorable morning that James Potter received breakfast in bed, courtesy of his good friends Remus and Sirius.
Just some short fun written at the dead of night, as usual. Hope you like it. I have a whole lot of these little Marauder one shots stockpiled from when I'm bored, one day I'll get around to refining and uploading them. I just particularly liked this one. Okay, well, let me know if you like it and wanna see more! :D