Kirk swore under his breath as the ship took another hit.
"Dammit," he turned to the nearest crewmember, "technical jargon! Incomprehensible orders! Do as I say! Reverse the polarity of the power couplings! It just might work!"
Spock, who had just been knocked over, leapt to his feet.
"Captain! I have to go and do something very important in a broom cupboard!"
"Do we even have broom cupboards?"
"I hope so. Otherwise I will not be able to do the important thing."
"Go then!"
Spock vanished through the doors. A minute later, Uhura piped up.
"Captain! I have to go and help Spock with the important thing!"
Kirk's brow creased.
"What is this important thing?"
"Very, very important!"
"Oh, well then. Get going!"
She sprinted off, flashing everyone who wasn't dying horribly (and some that were) a peek under her ridiculously short, couldn't-possibly-be-regulation skirt.
Two hours later, the polarity of the power couplings had been reversed, and the ambiguous danger had been averted.
Spock and Uhura were nowhere to be found.
"Ah'm shoor they fain Cap'n," said Scotty, "they're prolly en that broom capberd."
"I have no idea what you just said Scotty, but thanks," Kirk turned to Sulu, "they were in a broom cupboard weren't they?"
"Tha's wha aye said Cap'n."
"Quiet Scotty, I can't understand you."
"Yes, Captain. Spock said that it was of great importance," answered Sulu.
"Are there any broom cupboards on board?"
"Just one sir. The ship doesn't get very dirty. Because in space, no one can hear you clean."
Accompanied by Scotty, Kirk searched down the corridor for this fabled broom cupboard. He reached a small, non-descript brown door and walked straight into it because he hadn't made his footsteps loud enough.
Upon opening the door, both Kirk and Scotty paused. Scotty's eyes widened. Kirk spontaneously developed a twitch in his.
"S-Scotty…"
"Aye Cap'n?"
"Make them stop."
"Ah cannae defy the laws o' physecs Cap'n."
"I have no idea what you just said…"
Slowly, Scotty closed the door and led his traumatised Captain to his quarters, before leaving him to burst into tears for the terrible breaking of his fragile mind.
A.N. I'm sorry but I find Spock/Uhura to be downright weird.