Arthur's Moving Castle

by DarkmoonSigel

This is my APH crossover with Howl's Moving Castle. I own neither. A hat maker named Alfred who runs into the feared magician Arthur. Alfred is then cursed by the Witch of the Waste so he goes to seek out Arthur and his Moving Castle for help. Adventure and hilarity ensues. M for vulgar language and Russia/Ivan as the fire demon. Human names used. read at your own risk

1. Chapter 1

APH Arthur's Moving Castle

Two great and powerful kingdoms stood on the brink of an all encompassing war.

The crown prince, Gilbert Beilschmidt, had gone missing quite suddenly overnight and was presumed kidnapped. Ludwig, his younger brother, blamed the neighboring country of Britannia, the two nations having long been at odd with each other. Their tentative peace was shattered under the wheels of the great machine called war.

But this is not their story….

This tale lies elsewhere far, far away from all this political intrigue on the edges of the Waste in a small indeterminate town of Britannia. Though the town in of itself was nothing special, it was the last port in the storm before one entered the Waste, a dreadful place of continuous chilling winds and harsh rocky landscape that was constantly shrouded in mist and legend. It was where witches and wizards were rumored to roam free to work their wills upon unsuspecting travelers.

But we will get into that later..…

In a small, insignificant hat shop sat a young man finishing a ware of his craft. He idly stared out the window with sky blue eyes hidden behind thin silver frames. These stunning eyes was set in a bored yet handsome face framed by locks of short sunshine hair with a noticeable cowlick in front. This man and our hero of this bizarre tale was snapped out of his tedious revelry when his name was called.

"Alfred! Like move your sweet buns already and come on! We totally closed the shop! Quit being a wicked downer and come out with us!", Feliks demanded, Alfred's longtime friend and business partner. The pair's ensuing(and I'm sure riveting) conversation was interrupted though by the twittering of the shop's girls.

"Oh look! There's Arthur's castle!"

"Look!"

"How romantic!"

Alfred looked up to see….something…..move back into hiding in the swirling mists of the wasteland, a stunning view of gray nothingness from his window.

Alfred shrugged, turning back to his impatient friend. The shop girls were always going on about the subject of mysterious wizards that were apparently going to whisk them away at a moment's notice if they so much as blinked or ventured a toe out the door. "Naw. Go on without me. I'm going to go see Mattie.", he said. Alfred wasn't surprised when Feliks stomped his foot in response causing glitter to shed off of him in a puff of fabulous irritation.

"Lame! Like whatever! Totally your loss!", Feliks rolled his bright green eyes exasperatedly.

"Have fun storming the castle.", Alfred said, almost feeling sorry for some poor solider that was about to have a life changing experience. The cross dressing blonde was anything but subtle.

"You like know I always do!", Feliks laughed, snapping his freshly manicured fingers, "Mothers lock up your sons! Laters Sweetcheeks!"

Alfred could hear the girls still talking about the magician Arthur and how he stole pretty girl's hearts solely for the purpose of eating them. Alfred shook his head, smiling to himself about such silly gossip and how some of the girls would only be so lucky. Sighing, he finished the hat he hadn't really been working on and got up to leave for his own errand.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO
The town was going mad today over its new slew of visiting soldiers, the latest batch of damned arrivals before they were shipped out to destinations and fates unknown. Usually Alfred would be up there with everyone else, cheering his own patriotic heart out but today he just grimaced at the amount of people that moved in and out of his way, the main street packed with well wishers and parade enthusiasts. The tall blonde sighed, plastering on a fake smile on his face and tried to stay as nice as he could as he gently shoved his way through the throng. It wasn't anyone else's fault that he was feeling directionless and miserable after all. As he ducked into the alleys to escape the press of the crowd, Alfred hoped that a visit with his brother would lighten his heavy mood.

Sticking to his shortcut, Alfred cut through back ways and alleys. Unfortunately, he had no real sense of direction when it came to such things and soon got lost. To make matters worse, while referring to a rather featureless map, Alfred bumped straight into some rather bored military men, knocking the smaller one completely over.

"Damn it, bastard! Watch where you are going!", the small soldier yelled, glaring daggers from his amber eyes as he got up to dust himself off.

"Oh sorry, dude.", Alfred laughed. It couldn't be helped. The other man was just so cute and animated in his anger. Apparently the other soldier thought so too, if his own lazy grin was any indication.

"What are you dumb dipshit smiling about?!", the angry soldier who was known as Romano to most and Lovi to one fumed, "Bad enough I'm stuck with one stupid bastard when another directionless butt munch has to run his pathetically lost ass into me!"

"Hey! I'm not lost!", Alfred pouted, not one to take his shortcomings pointed out lightly or well.

"He's pretty cute. Let's take him out for some coffee Lovi!", the other solider, who happened to be named Antonio, leered good-naturedly at Alfred.

"How old are you idiot!? This guy isn't some baby turtle you can just take home!", Romano raged, waving his gun around, "On top of it, this dumb bastard has the balls to run right into me and now you want to take him out for coffee! Chigi!"

"Eeesh. Simmer down dude. You'll give yourself an aneurism. I'm such trying to get by.", Alfred said, putting up his hands in an effort to calm the situation down before he got shot or raped.

"You see?! Your temper scares off all of the pretty boys!", Antonio groaned pathetically. He dug around in his pocket until a small green turtle was produced, the soldier sinking down to have a quiet conversation with it. It left Alfred to deal with the other pissed off soldier and a feeling of awkwardness that was growing worse by the minute.

"Cor, there you are sweetheart.", a smooth voice said from behind Alfred as a overly friendly arm slinked around his waist to pull him close.

"What the hell!? Is this really my day to get molested or what?", Alfred thought, stiffening under the touch as adventurous fingers fanned out to caress his side and hipbone.

"I was looking everywhere for you.", the stranger continued. Alfred looked over and a bit down at a smaller man, dressed in brightly colored clothing made of fine silk and decorated with jewels and other golden baubles. The most eye catching thing about him though was his dark green hair, the clover locks short and spiky. It matched his fathomless green eyes perfectly in its shading. If it were not for the arrogant smirk that graced the man's arched lips, Alfred might have freely admitted to himself that the stranger was actually rather handsome.

"Hey, we were already talking to him. Go find your own threesome.", Antonio told him, emitting unintelligible squawks from Romano on the subject matter.

"Really? Cause it looks like to me that you tossers are just leaving.", the man said in an amused tone as he did a quick gesture with his hand. The guards stiffened up unnaturally and started to march away from the pair, muttering loud complaints in their wake.

"Prats.", the green haired man chuckled darkly.

"I could have handled that myself, you know. They weren't bad guys.", Alfred told him, very aware that the stranger's arm was still around him.

"Ungrateful brat.", the man said raising a large, bushy eyebrow at him. "Consider yourself lucky that you are rather cute. I usually don't bother."

Alfred pouted in response, not knowing how to take the backhanded compliment, if it was one. He also tried to ignore the fact that the other man said that he was cute. The unfamiliar person was obviously trouble even if he was alluring.

"Where are you off to? I'll be your escort since it is obvious that you are quite lost, whelp.", the stranger teased, making Alfred blush despite himself.

"The ice cream shop and I'm not lost!", Alfred started to pull away from his uninvited consort only to be jerked forward by him instead, the slight man surprisingly strong.

"Don't be alarmed but I am being followed.", the stranger told him in a low voice.

"And you're dragging me into your bullshit, why?!", Alfred whispered furiously back, stunned by the news yet still a little curious. The odd man shrugged as they continued at a relatively normal pace down the narrow alleyway.

"Sorry love. Looks like you are involved now.", the man smiled sadly up at him. Alfred shivered as he heard strange noises coming from behind him. Before he had time to worry about them though, even more started to sound up ahead of the pair as black ooze began to pus out of the walls. It dribbled forward to vilely take on a humanoid shape, long stringy arms reaching toward them. In his fright, Alfred struggled to get away but was held in place by the other man's death grip around his waist and arm. The green haired man directed them down random twists and turns, the ooze men gaining on them as the pair finally broke out into a run.

"Hold on.", was the only warning Alfred got as they suddenly went airborne to float high above the spires and towers of the town.

"Straighten your legs, git, and quit acting like a divvy albatross.", the man snapped, stilling holding onto Alfred or at least trying to loosen Alfred's white knuckled grip upon him. The blonde wasn't too happy about them being up this high. Alfred complied though to the order, gingerly unfurling his long legs.

"That's right. Start walking.", the man encouraged. Alfred moved his feet, finding to his delight that they moved forward through the air as normally as they would walking on solid earth.

"That's not so hard now is it, love?", the stranger said a touch smugly. Alfred decided against sticking his tongue out at him. Instead, he enjoyed the sensation of being weightless and riding the wind one footstep at a time. Flying….floating…whatever they were doing…was turning out to be a really cool experience.

"This is awesome!", Alfred yelled out cheerfully, causing the other to wince from the sheer volume of it alone.

"You are a bloody natural.", the man grumbled. They landed on a balcony which Alfred was happy to see was quite near the ice cream shop where his twin worked.

"I'll drop you off here so just wait a tick before heading back out. There's a good lad.", the green haired stranger winked, before disappearing over the balcony. Alfred rushed forward to look down into the square below. The strange man was gone though.

"Well, that was weird.", Alfred snorted.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO

Alfred didn't see anymore of the oozy men so he went into the ice cream shop where he was bombarded with questions by the lookie loos and gossips. While magic was fairly commonplace, one did not take a stroll over their neighbors and fellow businessmen without a few questions being asked afterward. Alfred waved them off though as he slipped into the back of the shop to wait for his brother Matthew.

"AL!"

"Hi Mattie! What's up?", Alfred grinned at his rather distressed looking twin.

"Apparently you! Someone just told me they saw you flying with some strange green haired man!", Matthew glared back. Only Alfred would make light of this type of situation.

"Jeez, no one is going to let me live that down.", Alfred sighed.

"So now the idiot is accepting rides from anyone!", said a large dark skinned man with dreadlocks, interrupting the twins.

"Fuck off, Carlos!", Alfred snapped, lunging at the heavier set man.

"Just give us a moment, thanks!", Matthew said as he quickly separated the two to drag a flailing Alfred to the back.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO

Matthew stared off into space as Alfred finished recounting the details of his impromptu flight as the pair stood out back of the shop.

"He must have been a wizard.", Matthew said finally.

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock.", Alfred grumbled, "He was definitely weird, but nice enough…I guess.". It was silly for him to remember the experience so clearly of course. The odds of him seeing the mysterious green haired wizard were slim to none. It didn't stop him though from thinking about the hue of his eyes, the sensuous curve of his lips, or the heat from his hands where they had touched ever so briefly.

"Al, you are very lucky that he didn't do anything weird to you!", Matthew chided his twin, "He could have stolen your heart! Especially if it was the wizard Arthur. He would have eaten it."

"Arthur only does that to chicks, dude.", Alfred countered.

"You can never be too careful though. I've heard that the Witch of the Waste is back on the prowl.", Matthew warned, to find that he had lost his audience's attention in favor of some passing clouds, "Are you even listening to me?!"

"Huh?"

"AL!"

"Chill bro. I just stopped by to see if you were doing ok. Stop worrying about me already. I'm fine. Seriously.", Alfred smiled as he waved off his twin's concerned look.

Matthew was not so easily detoured though, sensing something was amiss. "Al, do you really want to spend the rest of your life in that hat shop?", Matthew pushed, still obviously worried. Alfred had seemed so alive when he was talking about his flight and the wizard. It had been the first real spark of energy Matthew had seen in his brother in a long time. Now that it was over, Alfred seemed to fade around the edges again, like now putting on a happy fake face for him.

"You know that the shop was important to Mom and Dad.", Alfred said, "I really don't mind…."

"I'm not asking what our parents would have wanted! I'm asking you what you want! Just give the damn thing to Felix if you want to go!", Matthew told him firmly. To his dismay, Alfred just smiled softly back, the expression never really reached his eyes.

"I've got to get back.", Alfred said, turning to leave. Matthew sighed, knowing that the conversation was over.

"It's your life Alfred. Do something with it. Be happy.", Matthew said sadly. Alfred's expression almost faltered upon hearing his twin's gentle words.

"Bye Mattie."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO
The golden pair did not realize that they were being observed by sapphire blue eyes or that Alfred was being followed all the way back to his hat shop. Bulbous black ooze men slurped forward after him, carrying their master toward the unsuspecting blonde.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO
Alfred locked the door behind him as he looked about the darkened shop. He mentally made 'to-do' lists for the next day and idly straightened out some displays in his absent minded passing. As Alfred lit a candle, the front door bell rang though, signaling the arrival of a customer. Alfred turned in surprise to see a tall blonde enter the shop.

The new arrival had a regal bearing that just screamed sophistication and money. He practically dripped fur, his flowing robes of red and blue the plushest Alfred had ever seen, though he still thought they looked quite garish. The man had wavy shoulder length blond hair, that looked silky even in the soft glow of the candlelight and dark cerulean eyes that looked down a long elegant nose at Alfred.

"I'm sorry but the shop is closed.", Alfred said flatly, not wanting to deal with customers of any sort. That was Feliks's department. "I could have sworn I locked that damn door."

The blonde didn't leave though, much to Alfred's annoyance. Instead he looked lazily around as if he had all the time in the world. He gazed scathingly at the product presented as if it if had offended him personally.

"What a tacky little shop.", the fur man sneered, his upper lip curling up in disgust, "I have never seen zuch tacky little hats." The blonde did not wait for a response though as he directed a haughty smirk at Alfred, his sapphire eyes looked him up and down, " You are by far ze tackiest thing here."

"Get the fuck out.", Alfred growled, throwing all concepts of customer service out the window. He was tired and this prick was seriously pissing him off. Alfred stomped forward to jerk the door open, thumbing the blond toward it, "Don't let it hit you where the dog should have bit you."

"Standing up to moi, Francis Bonnefoy, is quite foolish, I am thinking. Though you may know me better by my title.", Francis smirked, "Ze Witch of ze Waste."

Alfred gasped, barely having enough time to turn back around to face the dreaded witch who suddenly turned intangible. Like a bad wind, Francis blew through Alfred to shroud him in magic. Alfred crouched down protectively, praying all the while he would not be turned into something too terrible.

"Ze best part about zhat spell iz zhat you can not tell anyone about it.", Francis snickered as he strode out the door, "Give my love to Arthur, mon ami."
-

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO
Alfred stayed low to the floor, frozen in place for the longest time, unsure of what to do. He knew something was wrong. He just didn't know what yet. His clothing didn't fit anymore as his shirt slipped off past his shoulders and his pants pooled around his legs. Besides that, everything thing looked different to him as well. When his glasses fell off of his nose, Alfred realized he didn't need them anymore as the room jumped back into focus.

His fears growing, Alfred shuffled on over to the floor length mirror, his feet wading in his shoes now. It made his movements stilted and awkward. "Oh shit, he made me a midget!", was Alfred's looping thought as he made himself look into the mirror, expecting the worse.

A little boy stared back at him, his sky blue eyes going wide at a familiar appearance Alfred had not seen in a long while.

"Crap! That's really me!", Alfred wailed in dismay, recognizing his four year old self, "Ok ok calm the fuck down Jones. It's not so bad…"

Alfred chanted this new mantra to himself as he climbed out of his shoes and walked around the shop in confused circles, trailed articles of clothing behind him. Unfortunately this started a cycle of him catching his reflection in the mirror every once in a while and freaking him out all over again.

"I've got to stay calm and figure this out!", Alfred told himself, trying to get a grip. His new squeaky voice wasn't doing him any favors in this matter though. A random thought struck him quite suddenly though causing Alfred to look down as he pulled up his overly large shirt up.

"DAMN IT! THAT BASTARD!", Alfred yelled, "Not the boys! No wonder I sound like this!". Alfred continued to mutter angrily to himself as he gathered up his useless clothing and shoes.

"Fuck this shit. I'm going to bed.", Alfred grumped as he shuffled awkwardly under the pile of clothes all the way back to his room over the shop.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO
"Like check me out!", Feliks yelled as he burst into the shop the next morning, looking very similar to a slutty flamingo in drag that had been drowned in sequins and glitter for all its sins. Feliks frowned when he didn't see the blonde he was looking for to cover in hot pink sparkles, "Where in the hell is my boo bear!?"

"He hasn't come down yet.", one of the shop girls helpfully informed him.

"Lame. Well he is cray cray if he thinks I am about to let all this go to waste.", Feliks huffed, "I am like too fucking fabulous to not be noticed today!" He worked it up the stairs in six inch platform heels to Alfred's room, hammering on the door with the sharp fist of fashion. "Wake your lazy ass up and compliment me, damn it!", Feliks yelled, surprised to find that the door was locked.

"Dude, don't come in here.", Alfred yelled, muffling his now young voice with a pillow in a vain attempt to deepen it.

"Boobear, what the hell is wrong with you? It sounds like your balls haven't like dropped yet or something.", Feliks asked, pursing his glitter glossed lips together.

"Duh, I gotta cold. I don't want you to catch it.", Alfred gritted out through his clenched teeth, still bitter about his diminished vital regions.

"No worries there. You couldn't get me near you if you were like covered in Prada and diamonds. I so don't do colds.", Feliks said quickly, leaving while he still felt well, "Good luck with that! Laters!".

Alfred sighed in relief knowing his friend's weakness. His next step would have been to fake vomiting. If that didn't make Feliks run, nothing would. "This is all those damn wizard's fault.", Alfred sighed, looking down at his tiny hands. He didn't remembered them being that small. "I can't stay here like this. Feliks will dress me up like a damn girl once he sees me.". Very ugly visions of himself in frilly dresses and sequins made Alfred shiver. He had not wasted his night though.

Using the skills from his craft, Alfred had altered his shirt into a long white gown of sorts, even managing to keep the pockets in it. As he tied off the collar with a red ribbon as a finishing touch, the little boy nodded to his reflection. He could make this work. Shoes had been a problem though. After some thought, Alfred decided to forgo them altogether.

After some searching around, Alfred found a small enough bag for him to comfortable carry for some food and his glasses. He had discovered that strength was not an issue in the matter. For whatever reason, the curse had left him supernaturally strong, something his bed had unfortunately discovered as well as parts of the floor that now sported Alfred sized foot shaped holes in them.

Using his new height to his advantage, Alfred snuck out of the hat shop unnoticed.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO
That same could not be said of the town though. It took some doing to get out of it. People kept stopping Alfred to ask him if he was lost or if he needed any help. It was quite irritating as Alfred explained for what felt like the hundredth time to a concerned citizen that no, he wasn't lost, yes, he was aware he wasn't wearing any shoes, and no, he didn't need to hold anyone's hand crossing the road.

Alfred was finally able to sneak onto the back of a cart leaving the town toward the waste, the little boy easily hiding out in the hay as he watched his lifelong home dwindle smaller and smaller into the distance. He jumped out as soon as the cart stopped at the furthest farm, ducking behind stone walls and brushes as he made his way out into the hills that bordered the wastelands and separated them from civilization .

Traveling was harder for the little boy than he previously could have realized or imagined. Everything seemed so much bigger now and further apart.

"I'm never going to get there with these legs.", Alfred grumbled as he trudged up a particularly difficult hill. Looking around for an easier path, the little one spied a long stick poking out of a nearby bush.

"Cool! That would make an awesome walking stick!", Alfred cheered, running over to it. He jumped up to grab the end of it and was left hanging midair. The stick was unusually tangled in the bush even with all of Alfred's small body hanging off of it.

"C'mon! Just a little bit more!", Alfred encouraged it as he bounced up and down, working with gravity. While strength was not the issue, leverage was the real problem and Alfred was starting to really despise his newly reduced height.

After a valiant effort though, Alfred worked it free…..or really just gave the stick a chance to do so itself. Alfred yelped as he let go of the end, the stick doing a fancy whirl as it repositioned itself in the air to reveal that it was actually a scarecrow of sorts. It was dressed rather regally in a military uniform for such a mundane job in pest control, the clothe of the garment dyed a peculiar shade of blue grey and adorned with a familiar silver and black cross. Alfred knew that he had seen it somewhere before and yet just couldn't seem to name or place it in his mind.

"Aw crap! You're just a scarecrow.", Alfred grumped up at it, the nagging concept bothering him as well as the loss of an awesome walking stick. He certainly didn't want one that fought back. The scarecrow seemed to do its version of a shrug. It's head was a pure white vegetable with red berries for eyes. A cigarette made of wood stuck out of its crooked grinning mouth at a jaunty angle. Alfred continued to make a face up at it though, totally unimpressed by it.

"Your head's a turnip. I hate turnips. Everyone says they taste better with butter but it's all lies to make you eat them. They still suck.", Alfred complained to the stick man, "Whatever. I got to get going.". Alfred went back up the hill, promptly forgetting all about the strange scarecrow.

The day inevitably grew later, bringing with its evening gown of dusk chill winds that swept up the hills in continuous streams. They were bitingly cold, cutting through the child's thin garment as he was buffeted by them mercilessl.

"It's so freaking cold. I'm freezing my nuts and berries off here….or what's left of them.", Alfred whimpered as he hunched down. His original plan was seeming more futile and stupid with every aching breeze. As far as he knew, witches and wizards were common out on the waste. Alfred summarized that there surely would be someone he could find to break his curse. He might even be able to find the Witch of the Waste out there and make him break it himself. Alfred wasn't sure how he was going to make Francis do that, but it was seeming less likely now with every passing cruel wind.

A 'tap tap tap' against stone alerted Alfred that he was not alone anymore, the little boy lifting his head warily.

"Aw c'mon dude, have a heart! I did you a solid and got you out of that bush!", Alfred moaned up at the scarecrow that loomed over him now, "I already got my own curse to deal with. I don't need your baggage."

The scarecrow bounced up and down as if in irritation and/or a vain attempt to argue with the shivering child.

"Don't take that tone with me. You're obviously cursed, dude.", Alfred told him, "Can't you do anything useful and find me a place to stay? I'm freezing my balls off here.". Alfred's teeth started to chatter as he watched the scarecrow bound off over the hill and was soon out of sight.

"Loser. Totally bought it.", Alfred snickered as he made himself get up once again to put as much distance as he could between himself and the deranged object of crow prevention. He focused on ignoring the wind and just getting over the last hill.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO
Upon entering the Wastes, all light gave up the ghost as dark clouds rolled in to block even starlight. Snowflakes took their place instead, falling softly in their descent to dust the packed earth and the wandering little boy with snow.

Alfred' legs finally gave out, the child landing on his butt as he stared sadly up at the opaque sky. Though he was numb from the cold, it only took him a moment to realize that he was smelling smoke, his nose twitching from it.

"Something is burning.", Alfred said to himself, getting up once again in the hopes of finding something or someone near by.

Alfred followed his nose though he didn't have to for too long. The source came to him as a towering structure crested a hill, moving toward him. Bouncing right beside it was the scarecrow, like a hunting dog bringing home a prize catch to its master.

"You fucktard! That's Arthur's castle!", Alfred yelled, his eyes going wide as he stared up at the notorious castle he had only seen glimpses of in the past through the safety of his window, "That's not what I meant!"

Arthur's castle was huge, a construct of mismatched materials that looked slap dashed together with a tower here and a tower there, seemingly on the maker's whim alone. Someone at some point had taken a severe and dysfunctional liking to balconies, the sides of the castle ruffled with them. Windows were like sores across the structure's rotund iron belly, no two the same in shape or size. The whole mess was precariously balanced on spindly legs like a bucket of bolts on top of demented drunken spider, weaving its way over the rocky terrain.

It was quite possibly the ugliest thing that Alfred had ever seen in his entire life. It came to a brief stop or attempted to break down(Alfred wasn't sure which), the structure wobbly passing Alfred by. A low door, complete with stoop in the back of it like a broken tail, touched down and scraped earth as the castle attempted navigate downhill without toppling over.

"Is that the entrance?", Alfred asked the scarecrow to find that it was already going after it.

"Aw crap! Slow down!", Alfred called after it, racing toward the low portal. The castle might have been ugly as sin but smoke was pouring out of its many chimneys so that had to mean that it was warm somewhere inside…or on fire…..Alfred wasn't sure which to hope for but both involved heat so it was win, win to him in either case.

Alfred ran as fast as his little numb legs could carry him, finally breaking out a last ditch leap to catch the door handle. He swung it open with a cry of victory as he was hit in the face with a wall of delicious warm air. Alfred sighed in happiness at it, not caring anymore who's castle it was or how dangerous they were rumored to be.

"It's warm inside! Thank you for bringing me here!", Alfred yelled back at the scarecrow as the castle started to pick up speed, leaving the stick man behind, "I'm sure Arthur won't bother with a little kid like me so this is fine. You turned out to be pretty awesome despite being a turnip head! Later dude!"

After giving the scarecrow a final wave goodbye, Alfred closed the door behind him and took his first steps into Arthur's castle and the next part of his unexpected adventure.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO
Climbing up crooked stairs into a dark room, Alfred entered a strange new world illuminated only by the glow of a dwindling fire. He looked around cautiously for he was in the belly of the beast. Anything could happen now.

A small flame flickered, making the light danced across the space, creating more shadows than clarity. Alfred ducked his head, trying not to tremble as he drew nearer to the little flame's welcomed heat. Taking a seat in front of it, Alfred watched the fire dance in the ash, dwindling further down. It was a strange color, almost a white purple in twisting shade.

Sighing, Alfred looked around to find some fire wood nearby, tossing several logs onto the fire. As the room was shed into more light, he saw that his surroundings were in total disarray.

"What a hole.", Alfred grumbled, "Crummy castle. Where is all the damn rich stuff?". Mess, mess, mess, everywhere he looked. Shelves on the verge of collapse, spiders running amuck in all the corners of the room to coat the crumbling plaster with dusty silk, and what Alfred presumed was a kitchen was buried under stacks and stacks of unwashed and half burned dishes and other assorted filth. The floor even felt grossly sticky underneath his bare feet.

"Blagh…", Alfred wrinkled up his nose, "Whatever.". He found the chair that he was sitting in was relatively clean enough as least. Curling up into it to get more comfortable, Alfred stared into the fire until he felt heavy with sleep and started to nod off.

"I do not envy you, comrade. That is a nasty curse, da."

Alfred's eyes snapped open to see a head, just a head sitting in the fireplace surrounded by the odd purple flame, smiling over at him, "You are going to have a very hard time getting rid of it.".

"Holy hell!", Alfred yelped, jumping up in the chair to grip the back.

"Let me guess….this curse….it will not let you talk about it, da?", the head asked.

"Dude! You talk!", Alfred yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the head.

"Of course, I am talking. Are you brain damaged….hit in the head….or just perhaps born stupid, da?", the head said pleasantly enough.

"Yeah, you're not creepy or nothing. What are you!? Are you Arthur?!", Alfred asked, returning to his seat. The thing didn't look like it was going anywhere anytime soon. The head made a face at the last question, glowing a bit more purple from it.

"Kol, kol, kol…..", the head muttered angrily, "Nyet, of course not. Don't be stupid. I am Ivan, a fire demon.". The demon did not get the reaction he was excepting or wanted though.

"A fire demon! Sweet! Dude, you can totally break my curse then!", Alfred fist pumped.

"Maybe…..maybe not.", Ivan yawned, a small flick of flame escaping from it, "Why should I bother?".

"Cause…I don't know why. You are just that cool and want to help me out of the kindness of your heart?", Alfred asked hopefully.

"You are very funny little man.", Ivan chuckled, shaking his head.

"What do you want?", Alfred sighed. There seemed to be no easy answers for him.

"You break my curse and then maybe I break yours.", Ivan grinned creepily.

"Whoa there, skippy. You're a demon.", Alfred pointed out, "How do I know you'll actually keep your end? And what is up with that 'maybe'?"

"Demons don't make promises.", Ivan snickered though Alfred didn't see what was so funny.

"Go to hell.", Alfred pouted as he crossed his short arms in a total huff.

"Don't be like that. Let us be comrades and you should vant to be helping me. I am poor little demon made to work day and night for that slave driver Arthur.", Ivan bitched, rattling off several other complaints. Alfred yawned getting sleepy again from the amount of warmth Ivan was pumping into the room due to his irritation. The demon noticed his audience was fading fast though, "We make deal, da? You break my curse and I, I vill break yours."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…..it's a deal. Shut up already. 'M tired." Alfred mumbled as he nodded off.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO
The cogs of the life machine that runs a world turned, moaning for fresh blood, sticky and wet to lubricate its worn gears. Two kingdoms prepared to spill plenty for it and a missing prince stayed lost.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO

A/N-To anyone reading this or choosing to follow this story, this will NOT be shota. I don't write that genre and I certainly don't ship it. If you are hoping or expecting some of it later in the course of this story, I am letting you know now that it is not going to happen. I have real love and affection for both Hayao Miyazaki and Diana Wynne Jones, and I have no wish to besmirch such an elegant story(well anymore than I am doing right now).

This is very important. Though this is a love story of sorts, there will be no improper interaction between Arthur and Alfred over the course of this story while Alfred is in his child form. Any and all expressions of love will be done by and between consenting adults and even the most of that will only be a kiss at the most.

This is meant to be a light hearted romp involving two of my beloved most artists and their shared story with a Hetalia spin on it. Please do not read into anything deeper than that.

Thank you-DMS