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x~... Her Name ...~x
Names give purpose to an existence. If she was already a nobody, a girl who was invisible, if her name was already meaningless to even herself, then what did that make her?
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Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Miss Invisible, sea-salt ice cream, and just about everything else here except the plot.
Haven't written a Kingdom Hearts fanfic in a long time… it feels wonderful to write one again. X3
I suggest listening to the song Miss Invisible by Marie Digby before reading this fic, as it is what inspired me to write it in the first place. If you want, my homepage on my profile links to my Youtube, and I have a Namine tribute vid with that song~!
It's a beautiful song that I feel everyone should listen to with their hearts.
I really love this story… and I hope you will too. 8D
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There's a girl who sits under the bleachers.
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Just like all the other days, her cerulean blue eyes, an accepting sadness deep within, searched the sky. Today, the sun was shining gloriously, as it always did here on Destiny Islands, with just a few puffs of ivory white clouds occupying the vast, royal blue. Summer was to begin in just two weeks, and it was hotter than ever.
Following her usual routine, the girl knelt down onto the fresh, lush jade grass to settle beneath the metal bleachers, which provided her plenty of room and shade from the midday rays. She drew her legs and knees up and propped the sketchbook in her hands to rest against her thighs.
A light breeze caught the wisps of her platinum blond hair, caressing her fairly tinted pink cheeks. She tucked a strand behind her right ear and pushed some of the long bangs away from her eyes and smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress.
Destiny High actually had uniforms, but since it was near the end of school already and it was really warm, the school just decided to let everyone wear whatever they want, and she definitely took the rare opportunity with open arms, much preferring her own clothes to those dreadful things they called uniforms.
She never wore anything that drew attention to herself; she hated attention. Besides, all the clothes she wore were plain and faded, simple and clean. Part of it was due to the fact that she was still saving munny, but it was also for the flat out reason that she just liked those kind of clothes.
On beautiful days like these when she felt at her best, she wore her favorite plain, white lace dress that hugged her slim hourglass figure and fell mid-thigh. The ends fringed into a little frilly lace pattern, yet again with no decorations, and even the straps of the dress were modest.
As for shoes, she only wore one. Just a pair of baby blue sandals with two tiny yellow diamonds on the front strap, and one on the back. Sandals made her feel unbound from the world and free to go wherever she pleased. She never felt comfortable with any other type of shoe.
Her skin complexion was pale, reflecting back to her style of clothing. It was probably because she didn't go out much, always willingly holed up inside her room sketching and painting to her heart's content.
She did not have any friends.
Her dainty hands dug into the powder blue backpack sitting beside her, pulling out a paopu fruit. The fruit was native and exclusive to Destiny Islands, and had a sweet but tangy juicy sensation. They were quite large and unusual, being a bright yellow star that grew on the tropical palm trees. On the weekends when she visited the Small Island, which was separated from the Main Island, she stocked up on five of the smallest but still ripe paopu fruits; one for each day at school.
She never really ate anything else during lunch; she always found it more preferable to spend the time drawing. The paopu fruit was the only exception.
She had been eating it ever since she was little, from the very first time she heard of the ancient legend passed down generation by generation on the islands. It was said that if two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They'll remain a part of each other's lives, no matter what.
Her foolish hopes as a child led her to discover them, after following three of her classmates from school to the Small Island. The fruits grew on a palm tree that turned sideways there, serving as a bench, before curving upwards with the leaves flourishing out from the top and the paopu fruits just below them, popping out with its bright lemony shade.
But even then, there was no one to share it with her, and she didn't know why she even tried one when she already knew that from the beginning. It didn't matter if she had the paopu fruit or not; she was alone.
Focusing on her sketchbook once again, she flipped it open to the drawing she had been working on for the last few days. With the pencil in her right hand, she silently sketched and tuned in to the rhythmic sound of soft scratching from pencil on paper. She used her other free hand to hold the paopu to her mouth, biting into it and tasting the thrilling mix of exotic flavors.
She was always by herself, but the familiar feeling of pencil to paper and the sky above her comforted her, what gave her freedom. The Small Island was somewhere she loved to be, too, but it wasn't the same. The island truly belonged to that group of friends – the ones from school that she followed all those years ago. Their names were Sora, Kairi, and Riku, and they went there every summer. This was the only place she could really claim as her own, where she could always let her feelings flow with art. For her, this was her sanctuary.
Slowly, she ate away at her lunch, never-leaving eyes eagerly scanning the piece of paper as her hands deftly moved across the paper.
She stopped drawing right after finishing her paopu fruit. Her hands held up her sketchbook, observing the picture, and a satisfied smile formed when she realized it was almost done. All she needed to do now was put on the finishing touches by coloring it in, but she would save that for the end of the day during art class.
She delicately closed her sketchpad. Her fingers gingerly smoothed over the cover, fondly gazing at it and all the memories it held. It might've been strange to some, had they actually noticed, that her name wasn't even on the cover, but it wasn't to her. No one had truly said her name in such a long time... she could not even remember how it sounded on the lips of others anymore.
It was then she was reminded that she couldn't even say it herself.
She returned her sketchbook to its rightful place in her bag and took out her paopu charm. It was something she made herself when she was little, just to lessen her sadness. The charm was reminiscent of the paopu fruit, bearing an incandescent yellow with a metal-linked chain connected to a point. It fit perfectly in her hand as she grasped it and stood up.
She stepped out from under the bleachers and spread herself flat out on the soft, sun-dried grass, out in the open of her sanctuary with her paopu charm firmly held in her hand. Sometimes she liked to have it close to her when she was alone.
Another breeze was lifted, gently pushing the sea of grass to wave in unison and her soft locks to tickle her cheeks.
Now she would be able to take off to those skies; time did not matter, and it wouldn't until that dreadful bell painfully rang in her ears. But for now, just for now... she would be free to fly and dream.
Closing her eyes, she let the warmth of the sun soak into her, and she felt a small, tender smile form.
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Just another day eating alone.
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She settled herself in her usual chair, the one at the back of the art room right beside the window where she could be closer to the sky. If she ever lost some inspiration, just looking outside the window would easily spark something for her.
The bell didn't ring yet, but she took out her sketchpad and color pencils anyways and began shading in her drawing with the vibrant colors.
There was a lot of chattering and noise around her, but by experience she ignored it well enough. It would die down more when class started. She just sat there, minding her own business as she worked quietly and serenely.
Her eyes looked up when she heard someone plop into the seat in front of her, taking in the gravity-defying dirty blond spikes of the boy.
Clothes never really caught her eye, and she didn't know about practically everyone in her class anyways. She never really actually knew what people liked to wear or anything of the sort.
But his stood out to her clearly. They seemed so refined... perplexing... yet simple all the same.
Most of the time, he wore a black shirt with a zipper underneath, and on top an open white, short-sleeved jacket with black on the ends. The collar was folded out, being a bright red. His baggy pants were a charcoal black, though tan-colored fabric covered it by being buttoned a little past halfway to the top. His sneakers were black and gray with crimson straps. He seemed to like checkers, as the pattern was printed on his jacket. He even wore a black and white checkered wristband and two bands, one black and the other white, on two of his fingers.
She didn't know his name. He was in art with her for the whole year and even then knew him from way before, but she didn't know his name. Names were never said in class, except when friends and classmates speak to one and other. But he never said anything, and neither did she.
He was the only other person in Destiny High that lived in Twilight Town instead of here, too, so he rode on the same train with her after school. The both of them had always lived in Twilight Town, but just never spoke with one another.
She wanted to be friends with him. She wanted to talk to him. She didn't know anything about him at all, but somehow there was a connection. He was always alone, whether it was here at school or in the train back to Twilight Town. The azure in his eyes were no different; they were sad and desolate.
He always looked to the sky. And she knew that those that have not been hurt cannot see the blue sky.
From the beginning, she knew he was just like her.
The bell rang, and the noise gradually began to lessen as everyone shifted around to get started on their work. She also concentrated back down on her drawing, erasing any thoughts remaining in her mind to continue on perfecting her own piece.
She didn't waste a single moment as she focused on adding in the shades of color, gradually giving the drawing life. Whenever she worked on her art, she was always pulled into another world where only she could enter, and her alone. Her heart and soul poured out into her art, and it definitely showed with the results.
It was finally done. She leaned back a little in her chair to observe the completed picture, her chest swelled with immense pride.
Her lips formed a fond, content smile as she studied her drawing. The soft green grass at the bottom looked as if it was swaying peacefully with the breeze, and the sky was a beautiful pastel blend of teal and turquoise that also held a few chalky puffs of cream white clouds.
In the center was a set of silver metal bleachers. And right there, seated in the middle row of the line of benches, was a girl with pale, flaxen hair and a white dress, her face turned upwards. She felt her smile grow.
"Sora, you lazy bum! Get to work!" Kairi's laugh resonated past everything else.
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Though she smiles...
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"What? You know I can't do art... anything that's even slightly related to it I'll mess up at!" Kairi huffed in aggravation, but Sora continued and persisted stubbornly, "I've screwed up so many stuffs already, and it's almost the end of school... can't you let me slack off even a little? Riku, back me up!" Sora whined.
Riku folded his hands over his chest, pretending to be lost in thought. "Well, Sora's got a point, Kairi. He can't do art for his life... but on the other hand, that doesn't mean you can slack off and not do anything either, Sora," Riku replied with amusement.
"That's right!" The scolding tone of Kairi's only succeeded in Sora rolling his eyes.
"Thanks for the help, Riku..." The silver-haired boy stuck his tongue out in reply and Kairi poked Sora in the cheek with a finger.
"Hey!" he yelled, obviously quite irritated.
She gripped the pencil tightly in her hand, stopping her movements. She was frozen for a few seconds, but finally she turned to her right to watch the three bickering friends.
Riku was holding on to Sora's wild chocolate brown spikes in a headlock, who was wiggling around trying to struggle free. Kairi was in front of the poor boy, her head lowered and beautiful auburn hair swaying left and right whilst teasingly lecturing Sora in what seemed to be torture for the brunette.
Riku finally let go when Sora calmed down a little and gave in, grabbing a blank piece of paper that was on a table near him and began to doodle absentmindedly. "I really should be mad at you guys..."
Riku chuckled, his aquamarine eyes cheerful. "But you can't, cause we're best friends," he finished.
Sora raised his head and flashed a warm, cheeky grin to Riku and Kairi.
"Well, I think we should start doing something too, before we get in trouble."
"Yeah, I'll go grab us some paint while Sora keeps working on his masterpiece," Riku added with a cocky smirk, eying the little chibis of him, Sora, and Kairi holding hands with goofy smiles.
Sora pouted and stuck his tongue out childishly, but Riku was already on his way to the cabinets. Kairi giggled, and slipped her hand into Sora's.
"Well it's not the best drawing in the world, but I think it's better than anyone's on what it stands for," she declared proudly, sky blue eyes sparkling.
Sora smiled tenderly at the girl, the love and fondness for the girl evident. He unhooked Kairi's lucky charm that hung from a strap on the side of his outfit and held it up between them.
Their smiles lit up the whole room.
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There is something she's hiding.
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Her eyes drifted back down to her own drawing. The details and skill in her picture were much more explicit and adept than Sora's, but all it had was that one little girl that sat on the bleachers faraway in the distance.
One lone girl.
Out of the corner of her eye, she peeked at Sora's drawing of the trio again, staring emptily at it until Riku returned with the paint and brushes and all three of them resumed with their smiles, jokes, and laughs.
Her eyes became void.
Sora's picture was sketchy and ordinary.
Her drawing was elegant and intricate.
His glowed with an ardor of compassion.
Hers told of abandonment.
She closed her sketchbook, putting it back into the confines of her bag. Before zipping her backpack closed, she caught a glance of her paopu charm. A painful stab punctured her heart, before it became numb and unfeeling again.
She observed the vivid blue sky outside of the window for a few moments, though she was really looking inside herself, her empty shell. She wasn't sure what it was she was seeking for, but perhaps she yearned to feel her emotions once again, even if they were only of pain and sadness.
One cannot feel without a heart, and if she could not feel, did that mean she didn't have a heart?
She spent the rest of the period with her eyes closed and, shadowed by her bangs, listening to Sora, Kairi, and Riku goof off and have fun as they painted half-heartedly.
When the bell rang, signifying the end of school, she still retained her unmoving form as she waited for all of her classmates and her art teacher to file out of the room and leave. It never took long; everyone always seemed to be in such a rush to get out of school. She preferred to go as slowly as she wished, and thus it was always either her or him to be the last to leave.
But of course, they had friends, people they loved, to be with.
She heard a few remaining steps from those few people who still stayed behind echoing in the halls outside.
She still had not opened her eyes.
And then it was eerily silent, but still she waited and waited.
Time passed, though she didn't notice.
Everything was blank. She wasn't sure what exactly was happening.
Long after when there was not even a sound nor a ripple that echoed in the depths of her tired heart, she leisurely, finally, allowed her vision to return to reality.
Half-lidded cerulean blue orbs met those of a deep sapphire.
He was staring at her intently, his acute fix searching her.
She looked away, ashamed.
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And she can't find a way to relate.
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She sensed his scrutinizing stare at her back as she stiffly made her way down the school's hollow halls. She wanted to say something, and she knew he wanted to, too, but neither spoke up. It may have been a little awkward, but the silence was comfortable nevertheless.
When they finally exited the main entrance, she stopped abruptly and watched him continue moving forward. He mirrored her actions when he was a few feet away, and then he turned his head over his shoulder to glance at her for a few seconds, a mutual understanding passing between them.
And then he left.
She held back until he was out of sight before starting again.
Her steps were small and light as they gently padded against the island's dirt road.
She focused on the sky, which was quickly changing into a hue of vermilions, amber, and gold. Usually she got back before dusk, but then again she had obviously started back later today.
It didn't matter anyways. It wasn't like anyone was waiting for her.
She was naturally a slow walker and liked to take the solitary given time to reflect. He took bigger steps than her, but was just as unhurried as her, using the spare moments to think. Though he really seemed to be thinking deeply all the time, he seemed to be much more relaxed while walking alone.
He purposely walked faster to allow her to be by herself, and she wasn't going to let his efforts go to waste. Her mind flashed back to earlier.
Her hands clenched into fists, furious at herself.
Truly, she was weak. She had convinced herself that she was strong enough to be able to listen to the happiness of others and endure it by now. A whole year had passed, and she hadn't broken down a single time. She had gone through the motions in school, hearing others talk but never speaking a word herself. She had watched people laugh and have fun without a care in the world. And she had seen the love that existed all around her, so close and yet so unattainable.
She was so sure that she would not be bothered by reality anymore.
Sora's drawing stirred something in her. They brought back up those feelings of hopelessness and despair that she always suppressed in her heart.
She wished she could be stronger like him. Like that boy.
Her sadness and pain was always evident on her face. It wasn't something she could control; she had tried to train her feelings to remain locked up. But she supposed it didn't really make a difference; no one ever noticed.
But no one ever noticed him, either, and yet his emotions never unfolded. His profound expression was one of apathy and thoughtfulness. Only his eyes bore the sorrow in his heart.
Her thoughts drifted over to that undecipherable gaze, the pain that shone in his cobalt blue orbs. She saw all the suffering and longing that wished for a purpose for existence.
When she looked into his eyes, she saw herself.
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She just goes unnoticed...
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Her mind kept replaying the things that happened in art class today. Sora's drawing... the trio's conversation... Sora and Kairi's loving gaze... the thalassa shell lucky charm...
She held out her hand to study her own paopu charm, even though her vision was blurry from a stinging burn that was building up behind her eyes.
She was jealous of them. She envied their close bond. She wanted to share the friendship that Sora, Kairi, and Riku had.
She didn't want to be alone anymore…
Not once did she ever have someone who would love her in such a way that Sora and Kairi did for each other. She wanted someone to hold her the way they did, she wanted someone to listen to her and be there for her.
She wanted to be best friends with someone, to be able to give hope and happiness to someone she cared about.
She wanted these things, she needed them. But time kept on passing by... everyone continued moving, and she couldn't keep up. She was always going to be left behind, with no one by her side.
She was aware that she was crossing by the paths of people... that most of them were her classmates. But none of them regarded her presence, none of them saw her.
What did it matter that a lonely girl they didn't even know was walking by with flushed cheeks and reddening eyes, ready to burst? What did it matter to any of them? They had their own stories to live. And she wasn't a part of them.
She never would be.
She didn't exist in their hearts. She didn't exist in anyone's heart.
Her hand fell back to her side; the paopu charm limply held on.
That little star was just a reminder of that terrible truth.
A single tear fell and hit the ground, creating a little dark spot on the dry dirt. That tear would fade away and forever be insignificant to the rest of the world. It would disappear no matter how hard it tried to stay there and be noticed.
And there wasn't anything it could do.
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As the crowd passes by.
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His back was to her when she arrived at the train station and bought her ticket. He just stood there, unmoving.
She kept her distance, observing him while she stood a few feet away to wait for the train just like him.
He seemed to be deeply thinking once again, but was supposedly interrupted when he sensed her presence, peering over at her and she as well until the train's whistle blew, signifying its arrival.
The train's theme corresponded with the twilight, the main color being a solid rusty brick red. The front was gold and had an arch of lights that glowed in incandescent crystal balls, while the top cover of the train was a shiny silver hue. Many rectangular windows lined up on both sides for some fresh air and a good view.
He entered first; he always did, and sat down on one of the pale red seats near the doors. She followed after, sitting diagonally across from him.
There never was a problem with this routine, as both Twilight Town and Destiny Islands had a small population, so there were never many people on the train, if any at all.
She had always chosen to sit where she did for the reason that it would've been awkward facing straight at him. She didn't want to be isolated and totally withdrawn, as she found herself to enjoy the tranquil silence built between the two, and so she sat not too far away.
She also had to admit that she liked to observe him constantly, sometimes calling herself a guardian angel. Most of the time it was here she followed his movements, for she was far too absorbed in her artwork during class. But it would sometimes be the times when she passed him outside as she made her way to the bleachers as well.
She couldn't help it; she felt compelled to make sure he was okay. It was as if he could disappear any moment, and it was her job to confirm that he was still here.
Watching over him felt like something she was meant to do. It gave her a sense of purpose. It verified that she, too, had not faded away, and was still in existence.
It didn't matter if she would never get to know him and be friends, she wanted to watch over him.
And somehow she knew he did the same thing for her, too.
She had heard of a friend crush before. It was when you have a strong desire to become friends with someone you don't know well, and often show signs of having a regular crush, such as fidgeting, blushing, nervousness... things like that.
And it was said that most of the time, the person you has a friend crush on tends to have a friend crush you, too.
She wondered if this was her having this so-called friend crush... sure she wanted to be friends with him and talk with him really badly, and she may have been a little nervous around him, though that was the only sign she was aware of that was similar to a crush. She was nervous around everyone, anyways.
But beyond her desire was something else... and she wasn't sure what it was. She had a connection with him, that she knew.
But there was so much more to it... this couldn't just be a crush. She didn't believe in crushes. They were nothing more than meaningless infatuations.
She had always believed in fate and destiny. Somewhere inside her she felt as if they were meant to meet.
She wanted so much more than just being friends and talking...
The train whistled and jolted to a start.
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She'll pretend to be busy when inside...
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Normally, she would take out her sketchbook and draw within the serenity of the train, but not today. She didn't have the heart to.
Her fingers subconciously wound tightly around her papou charm, the surface smooth and warm to her touch.
She had created the little star after seeing Kairi give Sora her own hand-made lucky charm as children. Kairi's was made of yellow tipped with pink thalassa seashells, which were only found in Destiny Islands. She never got the chance to see it up close, but she knew the charm was connected by leather sown into the shells, and a tiny golden crown occupied the center. She recalled hearing Kairi explaining once that the smiley face with brown spiky hair painted on one of the shells was supposed to be Sora himself.
She could still remember when she bought all the materials she needed in Twilight Town. A light, flattened piece of plastic, something to carve it, and a chain. She had gone home after doing so, using her limited abilities as a child to make the charm resemble a paopu fruit. She shaped it into a star, painted it a lemony yellow with her own paint and brushes, and then added the thin metal chain.
She remembered being so proud and content when it was finally done. It wasn't the best handiwork; she wasn't that great at crafts back then and wasn't now either, but it was something she made and something that could help her get through the days she patiently counted endlessly.
Even so, her charm was nothing compared to Kairi's. Kairi's good luck charm was natural and beautiful... made and given to someone special in order to protect him, to give him hope.
Her own paopu charm was artificial and was only selfishly used for herself.
She made up a story. She thought that, maybe if she could pretend, the loneliness would go away. So she weaved together a fairytale that deep inside she knew would never come true.
Her imagination had always been vast. It started with something simple enough. Bit by bit she had added pieces to her make-believe fantasy, twisting it together to be her liking.
The fairytale she dreamed of took place on the island. She imagined that one night, there was a big meteor shower where millions of stars fell in a sprinkle of white, dashing gracefully across the dark royal blue sky. She would be scared, and a little boy would be with her. She would be teary-eyed as she told him her fear of a star crashing down here, and the boy would say not to worry, cause he would always protect her. And she would give him her lucky paopu charm, telling him that it would protect him, too.
But of course, everything was phony, a sham. They were all lies that she desperately struggled and failed to drown herself in. There was no boy, no promise, no charm that would protect anyone. Not even herself.
She willed herself not to shed any more tears. They only proved how vulnerable and weak she still was. She needed to become stronger.
But the truth was already well-known to her. It had been long ago.
Her strength and hope would never meet up with the somebodies. They had light all around them and inside them, and shone brighter than anything with its warmth.
Her heart would shatter and break over and over again until there was nothing left but little fragments that no one would ever notice in the enshrouded black void.
Invisible... faded.
She would always be a shadow in the darkness.
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She just wants to cry.
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She started when she heard shuffling, lifting her head to see him rising to his feet. The train was slowing to a stop; they had arrived in Twilight Town.
Her arms rubbed viciously against her eyes to ensure that she would not cry. Then she stood up too and waited for the doors to open.
She couldn't help but peer at him in the corner of her eye and take note of how he seemed to be so incredibly distant and focused at the same time.
Perhaps she could talk to him... that might've been her problem. Ever since she was little, she was terribly shy. She never approached anyone, and no one approached her. Maybe it was her turn to take a step for once.
So when the doors opened and he began walking, she followed a few feet behind. She knew where he was going; everyday afterschool he always headed for a door. Though golden, beautiful, and intricately carved with vintage designs, it was placed somewhat in a secluded section of the station. She always wondered where it was he went, but everytime she even thought of finding out she would decide she was being much too nosy and continued on with going to Market Street for her daily round of odd jobs.
She paused as he opened the door and entered, closing it behind him. She followed hesitantly and stood right in front of it, marveling at how large and majestic it was. After a few moments, she tentatively stepped back, uncertain.
Maybe it would be best if she did not intrude and converse. She didn't know if he wanted to, and she didn't even know where exactly it was he went! Wherever it was, it must've been similar to her spot at the bleachers, for he went there each day.
Already, she had overstepped her bounds by claiming the island as one of her homes when it really belonged to Sora, Riku, and Kairi. She didn't want to repeat that again and reveal for herself his secret place.
That could've been just excuses to get her out of this, but she took them eagerly nonetheless and retreated, exiting out and onto Station Plaza.
Twilight Town, as its name suggested, was always dusk here. The sky never changed, which was something that she preferred wasn't the case, but had grown to love the sunsets anyways.
She wasn't going to have that much time to do odd jobs today with her being back later than usual and all, so she thought she might as well take the time to gaze at the sunset. No other sunset matched Twilight Town's, and she never actually got to appreciate it fully on top of Station Plaza. It was the best place next to Sunset Hill in Twilight Town for watching sunsets, but she was still saving money and never got the chance to take the train to Sunset Terrace.
She slowly shuffled her feet to the edge of the open balcony. Right when she got herself comfortable, the clock tower that towered high above Twilight Town emitted a deep, soothing ring, its lullaby resonated calmly to the city. She turned her head to glance at the glorious clock and its twin set of golden bells that flourished in the sun's dazzling rays.
Surprise took her when she saw the boy sitting up there, on top of a balcony. From where she stood, she made out the shape of a bright blue popsicle that was held in one of his hands. In the other, he held a deep sapphire orb to the sun, sparkling and glinting from the sun.
She thought she could see a smile on his face, the most beautiful smile she had ever seen. For once he allowed his mask of a facade wither down. His expression was pleasant and at ease, his eyes and his smile soft with clear tenderness.
She, too, smiled from the sight. So that was where he went. She wished she could be up there and see what he saw. But it was his place, not hers.
She propped her elbows up onto the balcony, her hands resting out onto the open air with the paopu charm in her enclosed palms. Below, the whole town was clear and incredulous for all to see. In the background, she could hear the train moving along the tracks gently to and from the train station.
Her eyes took in the rich view of blending colors in the sky. The mix of ruby, amber, and saffron intertwined and painted it gently.
The intensity of the sun made her heart feel warm and full of hope. She'd have to find some time to be able to watch the sunset again; her tears stained on the inside seemed to evaporate a little from the warm light.
Knowing that she was seeing the same thing as everyone else made her feel like she was a part of them and not so isolated.
Was she really that different from everyone else? Could she be when they both saw something so special and beautiful?
Even if she would always be a nobody and not a somebody... they shared the same sky.
One sky.
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She'll say...
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A sigh escaped her lips, wishing that this could last forever.
She didn't want to leave just yet, but she should probably go back now and start on her homework. If she could finish quick enough, perhaps it was possible to get in a few jobs. Her goal came first, after all.
She turned her head over her shoulder and fixed her vision upwards, desiring to check up on him before leaving.
She felt her folded hands release and stiffen and all comprehensive thought escaped her mind. Her eyes widened.
His eyes were staring right back at hers for the second time that day. It wasn't like earlier when the intensity between them was familiar and comforting, when the sadness and pain was something they both recognized and shared within each other.
His gaze penetrated through her this time. It told her things she was afraid of.
He saw right through her, he saw all her deepest emotions and feelings.
All the things she kept locked up in her heart.
He saw past the all the manifested darkness and at the tiny bit of light that shined within her.
The one she sometimes could not even see.
She couldn't take it.
A bunch of feelings burst up: fear, relief, sorrow, grief, and confusion. All came in a wave that was much too powerful for her to overcome.
She never yearned for anything more than someone seeing her, but now she wasn't so sure anymore.
She didn't know if she should let her hopes go up again only to shatter in the end.
She wasn't strong enough.
For a few seconds, she couldn't look at anything else but those enticing azure orbs. And then suddenly, she found herself frantically looking at everything else besides him. Her eyes hastily searched her surroundings for something, anything to help set her free of this hold.
Without turning back, she broke into a run and stumbled as swiftly as she could out of Station Plaza – and away from him.
...
...
Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible.
...
...
Wearily, she staggered down Station Heights, ignoring the bulletin board for small jobs. When she reached Tram Common, she ignored the one there, too. She was going to go straight home today.
She felt heavy. Her head hung down, staring at the ground vacantly until she abruptly halted to a stop.
A girl her age with jet black hair and a pair of cobalt blue eyes was walking with another guy, who in contrast had wild, untamed flaming red spikes and emerald orbs. She recognized them as people she frequently saw at times as she did odd jobs. Both of them were eating bright blue popsicles.
Wasn't that the same thing he was eating up on the clock tower?
Curious, she walked up to them, surprising the two. "Um…" she stuttered awkwardly, trying to find words.
The girl's sapphire blue eyes were friendly and welcoming as she smiled kindly at her. "Hi! Do you need something?" she asked without even a hint of hostility.
"Well… I was wondering about that popsicle you're eating… what's it called?"
"Oh, this?" She held it up. "It's called sea-salt ice cream. They sell it at one of the stores in the center of Tram Common; you know, where most of the shops are."
"Oh, um… it's just… I saw one of my classmates eating one… he was sitting on top of the clock tower and it was the first time I saw it. So when I saw it again... I guess I was just curious…" her words fumbled around nervously. She was never comfortable with talking, especially since she rarely did speak with others.
And she could feel the guy with the blazing red hair and forest green eyes scrutinizing her, too. It didn't exactly help her feel any more at ease.
The girl turned to her friend, grinning. "You thinking of who I'm thinking, Axel?"
"You bet. Who else goes up there everyday with sea-salt ice cream?"
She stood there, feeling a bit out of place. Perhaps they knew him? "Um…"
"Oh! I'm sorry! I'm Xion, and this here is Axel," the girl gestured to herself and then to the redhead. "What's your name?"
She turned away dubiously, feeling her throat tighten up. Sensing the girl's discomfort, Xion shook her head with a smile. "It's okay if you don't wanna tell me. Hey, why don't we get you some sea-salt ice cream?"
Her petite form returned back to face them, albeit hesitantly, and gazed at them sadly, losing herself deep into her fickle heart to contemplate over her own ever-changing emotions. Her mind drifted off to search for the answer to Xion's question in a seemingly endless abyss of thoughts.
She really wanted to try a sea-salt ice cream… but she was late enough already. And she was feeling incredibly drained from everything that's happened to her today... but then again, Xion and Axel were being so nice to her, and they seemed to possibly know him as well…
She mentally gave herself a facepalm, frustrated at her lack of decisiveness.
"Yo! You're spacing out there, little lady." Her head snapped up at the sound of Axel's voice. The guy's eyes were teasing and full of humor, she noted for the first time, while the girl's was fragile and reserved. From his tone of voice, it also seemed like their eyes accurately reflected their personalities.
Their questioning, awaiting stares bore into her sapphire blue orbs, and she bit her lip. "Oh, um, sure. If I won't be a burden, that is…"
"Not at all! Just follow us and we'll take you there!" Xion replied enthusiastically.
Xion and Axel led her to one of the store stalls in the center of Tram Common where an elderly woman with a gentle composition greeted the three.
She was about to take off her backpack and retrieve her munny when Axel shook his head. "It's on the house," he winked.
"So where do we go now?" Xion and Axel were already biting into their popsicles, but hers didn't even go anywhere near her mouth yet as she still held onto it with both hands anxiously.
"Well… usually me and Axel just wander around or sit down somewhere. We used to go to the clock tower all the time, but…" she trailed off, but continued just as quickly without any doubt, "Well, how about we sit down? That way, we can talk more easily."
They found a bench somewhere on the upper part of the area, where they could see the sunset clearly. Though not as magnificent as the view she had earlier, the sunset was just as breath-taking, as it always was.
She stared at her popsicle, reluctant to taste it. She just kept at it until Xion spoke and she turned to face the girl.
"Your eyes…" she said, aloof and seemingly lost in deep thought.
Confusion etched across her face. "Huh?"
...
...
Look a little harder, I...
...
...
Xion shook her head. "Nevermind."
Immediately after Xion said this, she just managed to catch the quick grin that flashed on Axel's face before he took a huge bite out of his ice cream.
"So, can we ask you about your classmate? You know his name?" Axel was halfway done with his popsicle and she hadn't even started yet.
"Oh, I don't, actually…" she blushed.
"A little taller than you with deep blue eyes? Out of this world gravity-defying dirty blond hair and never smiles?" Axel inquired. She nodded.
"You go to Destiny High, right? Not Twilight High, never seen you there…"
Again, she nodded, wondering where this conversation was leading up to.
"Well, then I'm pretty sure we got the right guy, don't you think, Xion?"
Xion agreed with a nod while biting into her sea-salt ice cream, "That boy you saw sitting on top of the clock tower with sea-salt ice cream – he's our best friend. His name is–"
"No!" she quickly cut in. She was surprised at how forceful and sharp she sounded.
Upon seeing Xion and Axel's confused stares at her, she bit her lip anxiously. "I… I want to find out his name by myself."
Despite her fears, Xion smiled empathically, as did Axel.
"We understand."
Her eyes drifted down at her ice cream. The edges were starting to melt.
"May I ask you something?"
"Go ahead!" Axel answered, gulping down another mouthful of ice cream. He finished off the last bit of ice cream with a loud crunch and then only the flat wooden stick was all that remained in his hands.
"You don't mind?" She was obviously surprised.
"Should we be?" Axel blinked, tilting his head in confusion at her.
"Well... I'm just a... a stranger..." she trailed off silently.
Axel's loose, carefree smile wasn't what she had had been expecting. "That doesn't mean we can't trust you. Now go ahead and ask away."
The faintest of grins appeared on her pale face, grateful and quite touched by how open to her they were. "How come… how come he's always alone?"
Xion nibbled on her ice cream. "Well, it's kinda complicated. I mean, we're the best of friends, but… there's a part of him that we can't reach, and we know that. You could say he's waiting for someone…" Xion explained.
"He chose to go to Destiny High instead of here with us. There must've been a reason, but he won't tell us. I'm pretty sure it's some girl…" he smirked.
"Axel!" she scolded, then turned to the blond again. "What he means is, we think he's found someone but is still waiting. He's never been the most open person..."
Axel's expression became thoughtful, his emerald eyes serious as he studied her intently like earlier, effectively causing her to fidget. "I think…" he smiled, a real, genuine and kind smile, "I think that someone is you."
She furrowed her eyebrows. "Why me?"
"It's your eyes…" Axel stared right into her cerulean orbs with his own emerald greens.
"They're the same as his," Xion finished softly. Her smile was just as sincere and caring as Axel's.
She looked away, and Xion and Axel didn't push the topic any further.
She realized that the popsicle in the blond's hands had not been touched at all and was beginning to melt at quite a quick pace. "You should probably try it before it melts," she nodded her head at the ice cream.
"It won't taste as good when it's just a pile of mushy stuff. Go on – try it!" Axel encouraged supportingly.
She held it up to her mouth, and for a few seconds she just stared at it until she finally took a small bite into the treat, the chilly frost of the popsicle making her shiver just slightly in the summer heat.
"It's really salty… but sweet, too," she concluded slowly. She decided she liked it.
"Yup. Just like life, huh?" Axel laughed. The look in his face as he gazed at the sky could only be discerned as bittersweet. She wondered if Axel was thinking of his other best friend. "Actually, that was the exact same thing Xion and that idiot said the first time they tried it, too." A fond smile broke onto his face.
She observed Axel in the corner of her eye. His casual posture, the popsicle stick held nonchalantly in his hand, the faraway look he had on his face. His best friends meant the world to him, she realized.
She stood up.
"It's getting late… I think I'm gonna home now. It looks like I won't be able to do some of the bulletin board jobs after all…" she sighed to herself.
"Are you saving up for something?" Xion asked, finally done eating her ice cream and holding the popsicle stick in her hands.
"Yeah. I wanna go live in Destiny Islands. I try to get some munny when I can."
"I'm sure you'll get there soon," Xion smiled. "I see you here and there in Twilight Town doing jobs a lot. Axel, why can't you be more like that? I mean, we're running out of munny for ice cream…"
Axel shrugged carelessly in reply, showing absolutely no concern in the matter. "Not my fault we're all lazy bums."
The pale flaxen-haired girl giggled.
"Well, anyways, thank you for the sea-salt ice cream. I really appreciate you getting me one. I'm going to finish it while I walk back home... I really like it, so thank you again."
"You're welcome! And oh…" she stopped and turned around to see Xion and Axel's kind, warm and welcoming grins. "I hope we get to become good friends."
Her face broke into a weak smile.
"Yeah."
...
...
Really really want you to put yourself in her shoes…
...
...
The Old Mansion's rusty doors creaked when she pushed them open. Closing them behind her, her eyes scanned the pale red bricks and tiles that made up the whole place. She should get to cleaning it up when she had time.
Her feet automatically took her up the left side of the stairs, ignoring the right that led over to the library that she never really used. It was all dusty in there, anyways. She preferred painting and sketching to reading books all day long.
The White Room was what she called her own chosen bedroom, due to the fact it was all white in contrast to the rest of the dark building that fit into place with the twilight.
The room was already like this since the day she found the large abandoned house as a small girl. Her favorite color was white, with its pure simplicity and innocence, so naturally she chose this room. On top of that, there was a huge window and balcony that covered almost the entire wall opposite to that of the door. Pale, see-through curtains swayed from the breeze, creating a wave-like feel. A vanity mirror and cabinet with her clothes was on the left side of the room, and her bed rested on the right.
A huge, long table littered with her art supplies and artwork took up most of the space in the center along with a vase of ivory white roses in the very middle. She constantly took some from the garden in the back of the mansion. Though always growing with many flowers, she had never actually tended to it. It was just there, just like everything else here.
The bright magnolia walls of the White Room were scattered with more paintings and drawings than she could count. These pieces were never that complete, so to speak, as they were usually not too complex to begin with. Just something here and there that she liked; a flower, a bird, the sky, sometimes of Sora, Kairi, and Riku together, and sometimes of him. She almost never drew herself.
Not a single one of her drawings were signed with her name.
She put her bag on the table and lingered over to the window, putting her hand against the cool glass. At first, her sight was on the black iron gates in front of the mansion, and past that, the shadowy woods that she had to pass through to get home. And then she focused on the sky that was forever twilight.
That was the reason why she wanted to go to Destiny Islands. She couldn't see the dawn, or the high afternoon blue, or the millions of stars that twinkled in the night here. The sky never changed in this city.
She loved her White Room, she loved Twilight Town and the sunsets, but she yearned for more.
She felt trapped here.
She felt stuck in one place, like the twilight that never waned.
...
...
In the beginning, in the first few weeks of class…
...
...
She opened the window, stepping onto the thin balcony and feeling the breeze soothe her senses as she thought about the Small Island.
There was a small hollowed out space in an old tree on the island. When she gathered enough munny, she would build a door there and move the things she wanted to the inside.
Once that was done, then she would be able to hear the ocean's rolling waves calm her into the night. She'd be able to look forward to the dawn and the stars that lit up the darkness. She admired those symbols of hope... she wished to find her light within the darkness, too.
It shouldn't be too long now until she had enough munny. She would have to check again sometime soon.
She left the window open as she returned inside, wanting fresh air to fill the room.
She sat down in one of the two chairs of the long table and pulled out her homework, getting it done as quickly as she could to make way for some free time. It didn't take long; school was easy for her. Her academic skills allowed her much time dedicated to other more important things to her.
Her hands opened her peach-colored sketchbook, flipping through the color penciled drawings until she came to her most recently completed one of the bleachers.
She didn't know what do with it. Seeing Sora's doodle made her feel that this picture was nothing, and yet she was still connected to it. She felt like something was just missing, and needed that something to make it whole. She didn't wanna let go of the drawing just yet.
But she supposed that would be figured out later. No use dwelling on it, and so she closed her sketchbook.
Grabbing her soft, light blue sleeveless silk nightgown that fell to her knees from her cabinet, she headed out of the White Room to shower. When she was clean, she washed her ivory white dress and put it up to dry. After that, she went into the kitchen and made herself some dinner, and finally, to the garden to retrieve some new roses.
They grew in the back of the garden, obscured by the other more vibrant and colorful flowers. The white roses grew on vines that elegantly stretched across the brick wall towering and protecting the plants.
As she carefully made her way over on the stone path, she thought of Xion and Axel. He had friends… but he still was alone. How strange; she always thought if she had friends she would never feel alone again.
If she really did become good friends with Xion and Axel, would that change anything? Well, of course it would… but would they be able to reach into her heart? Or fail as they did with him?
They would fail, a voice resonated within her. Only someone with a strong connection could reach her. Perhaps that was the reason she always faded into the background, unseen, because of her innate isolation.
Was that why he was still so alone…?
She rubbed the velvety petals between her fingers tenderly. She had always preferred white roses to the other flowers growing in the garden.
Though they were just as beautiful as the others, they stayed unnoticed.
Invisible.
...
...
She did everything to try and fit in.
...
...
She sighed, trying to avoid the glimpses he took at her.
For once, she had not looked forward to art, except for the fact that she would be able to go to the island afterschool since it was Friday. Her day had been good up until now, having bought a sea-salt ice cream on the way to school and putting it in a mini-cooler, since she assumed that was how he had had one on the clock tower.
She ate it for the second time at the bleachers, after finishing her usual paopu. She really did love it; the taste was somewhat bittersweet to her. It reminded her of the ocean.
Finally, the bell rung and he turned his attention away from her entirely. At least for now, she wouldn't have to worry about him watching her constantly.
She found the drawing of the bleachers and the girl with no name sitting in the very middle, far away in the distance. Just as hollow and void as the last time she saw it.
Names give purpose to an existence. If she was already a nobody, a girl who was invisible, if her name was already meaningless to even herself, then what did that make her?
Carefully, she printed her name in her neat handwriting just below the silver of the metal benches, not too big so that it took up too much room but enough to be visible without too much focus. It was the first time she ever wrote her name on her art.
She observed every letter of the name that meant born of the wave. She could only weakly reminisce the ocean's waves washing upon the shore as she studied her picture.
The drawing was still lacking something, though. Even with her name, it still felt empty.
"Don't you think we should go visit the islands soon? I mean, summer's coming, and we should clean up a bit since we haven't gone there all year," Kairi suggested.
She lifted her head up from her drawing and decided to silently watch the trio again with interest.
Riku shook his head. "I went to check up on it last weekend since the two of you are always slacking off and being lazy bums. It's just as clean as before, if not cleaner. Actually, now that we're on this subject…" Slowly, Riku turned his face, and his aquamarine eyes met her own crystal blues. Embarrassed to be caught staring, she blushed and quickly looked down at her sketchpad, desperately hoping the silver-haired boy wasn't referring or mentioning her in the conversation.
"I saw you there on the island," he grinned, standing up and walking over to her, his hands on his hips teasingly. "You're the one who's been taking care of it, aren't you?"
Sora and Kairi sat there dumbly, blinking at the girl before finally following Riku and standing beside him, smiling kindly at the nervous blond.
"Have you really been taking care of the island for us?" Kairi asked enthusiastically.
Her eyes widened slightly. She always obscured herself from view even when it wasn't summer, when no one came to the island... but then again, Riku was always the more observant one of the trio. On the island, he would never fail to be the first to hear or notice something unusual.
They didn't seem to mind her being on the island though... they seemed happy, rather.
She nodded awkwardly, uncomfortable with the attention she was getting.
"Wow! Thanks, then!" Sora exclaimed happily. He just realized that he didn't know the girl's name, and was about to ask when Kairi got a bit hyper and cut in.
"You should come with us to the islands when summer starts! The first thing we're gonna do when school's over is go there! There's this Secret Place next to the waterfalls that's hidden in the leaves, and it's like our special spot! And then we can chill on the paopu tree…!" She was practically dancing with the vehemence that radiated from her. Indeed, Kairi was truly a pure-hearted girl.
"So," she bounced up and down excitedly, beaming expectantly at her. "How about it?"
Her cerulean eyes looked to Kairi first, then to Riku and Sora. They all nodded and agreed whole-heartedly.
"I… suppose…" she responded hesitantly.
"Great!" Kairi squealed, elated.
"This'll be our thanks for looking after the islands," Riku added gratefully.
"And we can even be friends!" Sora cheekily formed his goofy, lop-sided grin.
The trio was off into their own world now, planning for the summer with excitement.
She tore her gaze away from them, the smallest of smiles breaking. First Xion and Axel, and now these three. Was it really possible she could be their friends…?
She took a quick peek over at them. Sora was holding up Kairi's lucky charm, smiling and chatting to her animatedly as Riku stood to the side and watched them fondly with a grin of his own.
She, too, smiled at the three best friends, digging her hands into her backpack, looking for her own good luck charm.
Her heart stopped.
It wasn't there.
She stiffened and searched again, ruffling through the whole bag.
It wasn't there.
She remembered yesterday on Station Plaza, when she was so shocked that her hands had become limp and weak…
Frantically, she examined all her surroundings, eyes widened. It was nowhere to be found though.
"My paopu charm…" she breathed shakily.
She suddenly bolted up, mainly out of her subconscious reactions to the situation as she tried to reason with herself on where it could possibly be at. Maybe she didn't lose it… maybe it was at home, and she just left it there. Maybe she had forgotten it at the bleachers…
She knew she was only denying the truth.
"No…!" Her breathing was getting faster and faster as she felt sweat forming on her forehead, her heart rate rising and pulsing through every part of the body and thoughts racing in her mind wildly, scrambling to make some sense.
Sora, Kairi, and Riku paused, taking notice of the girl's strange behavior, worriedly staring at her and then to each other. Something was wrong.
He also turned around in his seat and shot her a questioning gaze, his azure eyes slightly alarmed and full of concern, mixed in with confusion.
She paid them no attention though as she kept on panicking, her eyes darting back and forth as her mind paced in distress.
"My paopu charm…" She didn't know what to do. "My paopu charm…"
Surprise and worry etched across his face as he realized what had happened.
The bell rung, signifying the end of school.
Hastily, her backpack was slung onto her shoulder, sketchbook in her arms, and she dashed out of the classroom, as fast as she could with four pairs of eyes watching after her.
His eyes hardened into a determination he didn't think he had as he stood up.
...
...
But the others, they couldn't seem to get past…
...
...
The bleachers.
Every bench, every corner, every blade of grass, she searched. It was futile, however, as she discovered nothing in resemblance to her charm.
The train. She had to check the entirety of Twilight Town.
Every step she took, she did not waste a single second dawdling. She was focused, desperate, as every inch of her surroundings was taken into careful consideration and inspected.
When she got into the train, she looked beneath all the seats as well as on top. She asked the driver, who in return told her there was nothing of a star-shaped object that turned up.
Her eyes began to get shaky as she paced around in circles on Station Plaza. She was getting more and more anxious. It wasn't here after all…
It must have fell when she was on the balcony. It must be somewhere in Twilight Town… somewhere…
Retracing her steps of all of Market Street, she sought for any sign of that familiar bright yellow.
At the ice cream shop, she asked the elderly woman if she had left something when she came yesterday.
On ground level her eyes concentrated on the floor. Resulting in nothing, she tried the upper part of the buildings, where she had sat with Xion and Axel watching the sunset and eating sea-salt ice cream, in which it seemed to take place so long ago.
The woods with the shadows created from the canopy of leaves made it easy to see if her paopu charm was dropped there, but only grass and leaves filled her vision as she wounded around the trunks of the trees.
The last place was her house. As she opened the iron gates and walked into the Old Mansion, she prayed with all her heart it was here, hoping that she was wrong and that it was simply just forgotten inside.
The White Room, kitchen, bathroom… she even checked the dusty, ancient library.
Her last bit of hope fell into the void.
It wasn't here either.
She couldn't find it.
She went into the White Room again and roughly shrugged her backpack off onto the table as she headed towards her vanity mirror. She stared at her reflection, at the nameless girl's platinum blond hair, her pale complexion and reddened cheeks.
Her eyes. Those deep sapphire orbs that contained all the emotions that set her apart.
They were far beyond broken.
...
...
All the things that mismatched on the surface.
...
...
As she leisurely staggered through Twilight Town clumsily, she kept her stare downwards with her bangs shielding her eyes, shadowing them.
For some reason, she didn't want to leave her sketchpad at home. It provided some sort of comfort to her as she hugged it tightly against her heaving chest.
Her dress was dirtied and soiled from all the searching she had done, her hair in a total mess. Everything around her seemed terribly bleak and dull.
Her heart was tired and worn. She had so many scars and open wounds yet to be healed. Her memories haunted her. And yet...
She didn't cry.
She felt empty and blank with the anger and grief inside her boiling, threatening to spill at any moment.
But she didn't cry.
At Station Plaza, she glanced at the sunset, and quickly turned away. She didn't need to be reminded of anything at the moment. She just wanted to forget and forget… even though she knew she wouldn't be able to by now.
Buying a ticket and boarding the train to Destiny Islands, she studied the drawing of the girl on the bleachers. She seemed so lonely and shattered. So distant was she that no one could ever reach her.
Her hands tightened into fists.
Her paopu charm. It was gone. She lost it.
Even though it was fake… even though they held memories that were never there to begin with… it still meant a lot to her. It was important to her.
And now she didn't even have it anymore because of her own stupidity.
Again, she thought of the lucky charm Kairi gave Sora. She was reminded of how different the two charms were… of how they were. How foolish it was to think she could actually become friends with them… and Xion and Axel, too.
Yes, they'd lessen her sadness. But then what would she do? Spend the rest of her life waiting and waiting for someone to break through her walls and reach into her heart? Waiting for herself to fade back into the darkness like she should've done long ago?
Waiting for someone to say her name with the love she both wanted and needed?
They had the whole lives ahead of them. They couldn't dwell on an invisible girl they didn't even know of. They had their own stories, with their own happy endings. They deserved to live their lives to the fullest with those who cared about them, and they would.
But she would always be here waiting.
She was so sick of waiting. But she couldn't even do anything… she had to wait. When she tried reaching into others, and they let her in, she turned her back to them. When others tried to reach into her, they couldn't do it as she pushed them away.
She didn't want to wait anymore.
The train whistled and stopped. Slowly, she sluggishly pushed herself up and sighed, walking out of the Destiny Islands train station.
...
...
And she would close her eyes when they left as she fell...
...
...
As excruciatingly slow as her steps were, she tripped from the low staircase leading away from the station.
Her body ached from the fall, feeling scratches from the dirt wound her fragile skin. Her dress was even filthier now, but she didn't care.
She didn't care.
She faintly recalled a time when she was little and she tripped on the Small Island and almost drowned. Sora, Kairi, and Riku were there, too, though they weren't aware she was there as she always kept herself well hidden and at a good distance away from them.
It was when she was trying to get a paopu fruit on the curved palm tree. She had already been covered in a few bruises and some scratches from falling on the ground several times, along with the fact she was hiding in a few uncomfortable places as she waited for Sora, Kairi, and Riku to leave the paopu tree.
She was nervously holding on to the trunk as her small hands tried to reach for the fruits growing all the way at the very top where the palm leaves were. When she reached for it a little further, she lost balance and fell into the ocean water. A wave swept over her, dragging her further and deeper in its dark depths, and she couldn't touch the floor with her feet and couldn't propel herself upwards.
She thought she was going to die as she struggled around helplessly, trying to reach the surface. She thought she was going to disappear right then and there... all alone with no one around her. It was all a mysterious, mystical deep navy blue down there as she sank more and more.
It somehow felt fitting for her. For her to die in the darkness in the eerie silence. The ocean lured her deeper and deeper into its melancholy spell... gently whispering for her to let go.
And then something had happened. She suddenly thought of that little boy that she often passed by in Twilight Town. A little boy that was alone just like her and gave her a sense of relief and comfort, knowing that she was not truly alone. And in the darkness she saw the sunlight shining into the sea's cobalt blue.
She didn't want to die just yet, she had realized. And with all the strength she had, she got back up and pushed herself up to the surface, feeling her heart pounding and her desperate gasps and pants for air.
But now... she was in the same place again...
Not too far away, her sketchbook sat there in the dust, the page still opened to her drawing. She could make out her name, and her vision blurred.
Her name… her name…
The name that meant nothing to no one… because no one even knew what it was. The name that belonged to a nobody… a girl who would always be invisible… destined to fade back into the darkness…
Her name…
Gently, her eyes closed.
She could just imagine everyone carrying on with their lives while she dived deeper into the bottom of her own.
Tears brimmed at her eyes, but she didn't allow a single one to glimmer.
She pictured Xion and Axel probably wandering around eating sea-salt ice cream, thinking of their other best friend whilst talking about things that no one cared about and made absolutely no sense at all.
She imagined Sora, Riku, and Kairi having fun and planning their summer ahead, laughing and playing around carelessly. Of Sora and Kairi's loving looks for one another, of their precious, cherished good luck charm.
She thought of him, so alone like her, but yet so much stronger.
She thought of all the pain that he had, but still managed to always go through each day living.
How he had reached her, but in return she backed away like the coward she was.
She had always wished and hoped for someone to see into her, she always waited and waited for someone...
Why was she so weak?
Why did she always fall, and have to get back up again with no one helping her?
She wasn't sure if she could get back up again this time.
...
...
Down the stairs.
...
...
She half-heartedly tugged on the rope, dragging the wooden canoe boat through the sea and towards her. Once close enough, she trudged into the shallow warm ocean water and carefully climbed inside, placing her sketchbook carefully next to her on the bench.
Gingerly, she untied the rope from the pole of the dock, placing it into the canoe, and the boat swayed gently on the small, rippling waves. She grabbed the two paddles resting on the floor in front of her into each of her hands and began rowing gradually towards the island with all the strength she could still muster despite all the fatigue.
While doing this familiar task, she asked herself what was the point of going to the island. She could've just stayed at home, and she didn't even bring any of her supplies with her. She usually went straight home on Fridays to finish her homework and then take her sleeping bag, sketchbook, drawing supplies, paopu charm, and some food to the island for the whole weekend, returning home on Sundays nights for school.
But today it was just her and her sketchbook. It just felt like something was compelling her to come.
It wasn't dusk yet, but the sky's blue was beginning to dim into a pale lavender and pink. Since it was near summer and night came later, she must have spent at least a few hours searching for her paopu charm.
When she finally reached the island, she jumped out, grasping the rope and retying a knot to the island's dock. She began her trek, her worn sandals indenting faint footprints into the soft, golden sand and the setting sun warming her back.
Her feet stepped onto the mini wooden staircase, traveling a short distance before she arrived at a high wooden ladder.
Discreetly, she climbed up, making sure her feet did not slip with her sandals. When she finally got up, she went around the tree's trunk, arriving at the hollowed out area that would soon be her home.
Inside, it was dark and had the refreshing scent of the trunk and leaves. Nothing decorated it room yet, as she only brought stuff over when she was staying and then brought it back to the Old Mansion when the weekend was over.
Her hands absentmindedly touched the smooth tree wall. She would have to remember to dig into the wood and create a window. The place needed some light.
For a few moments, she considered just staying inside the shadows for the rest of the day, but it seemed like her heart wanted to keep wandering, wanted to keep searching for distractions.
Her thoughts drifted to Kairi and her summer invitation on the things they did on the island.
Secret Place… Kairi said it was hidden in the leaves beside the waterfall.
...
...
And the more that they joked and the more that they screamed…
...
...
She climbed down the ladder, heading over to the waterfall. The water in the pool was clear and clean, cool and refreshing, so she never had to bring any water over on her stays and just drank the water from the spring. It was also where she showered and often swam in for fun just to relax.
To the left of the waterfall, she spotted a cluster of leaves. There in the shadows, well hidden, was the entrance carved into the stone.
She pushed some of the leaves away as she slipped in, her hand on the cool, sleek stone walls so as to not bump into anything unexpectedly in the pitch black darkness.
The path was quite long as it wound around slightly, and she wondered what was at the end of the Secret Place.
A light at the end of the tunnel… sunlight streamed down into a wide open area. Dirt blanketed the ground evenly. A few large rocks with white patterns that she recognized were from stone carved upon rock caught her attention. Then she realized that all the stone walls were completely covered with white chalk drawings.
Her fingers delicately smoothed over the child-like doodles while her other hand gripped firmly on to her sketchpad. Most of them seemed to be from imagination, from other worlds and journeys and people.
She walked along the wall, intently observing every detail and aspect of the drawings, until she came to one, separated and left alone from the rest.
The head of a smiling spiky-haired boy, solidly colored in and neat, was to the left, and to the right was a girl, also smiling but much more messily drawn.
And in the middle were two hands, each holding a paopu fruit that resembled shooting stars. They crossed over one another, going to both the boy and girl.
It was Sora and Kairi.
She was reminded of the legend passed down on Destiny Islands. If two people shared one, their destinies become intertwined. They'll remain a part of each other's lives, no matter what.
Her fingers touched the paopus and slowly lowered ever so slightly, leaving a faint white, soft powdery mark on the tips of her fingers.
The burning sensation was building up in her throat and behind her eyes again, but she held them back, weakly smiling at the innocent drawing.
Standing up, she brushed the dirt off her already stained white dress and left the Secret Place.
She shouldn't have come here.
She didn't deserve to intrude in such a sacred and beautiful treasure.
...
...
She retreated to where...
...
...
She walked across the incredibly long wooden bridge, heading over to the tiny secluded area. It was the place that she often saw Sora, Kairi, and Riku hang out at over the summers on the curved paopu tree. The very same tree she picked the fruits from, and the same tree that she fell off of and almost died.
Kairi had said they would go there, so she supposed it was okay to be here. There wasn't really anything on there except for some shrubs and flowers circling the round platform and the tree.
She decided not to sit on the trunk anyways though, for that was where they sat. Instead, she chose the ground, leaning against the base of the trunk as she set her sketchbook down. She eyed the drawing, then she stared out at the now setting sun, enshrouding a dark but twilight warmth on the islands.
A breeze gently lifted, caressing her face coolly and her pale platinum blond hair gently waving in the wind.
Everything was so beautiful…
She frowned, and her watery eyes shook.
She wasn't going to cry anymore.
It only proved her weakness.
But then she remembered – sometimes you need the strength to cry when you want to, too.
All of a sudden, all the suppressed emotions that were bottled up within her erupted in a rage, and she burst into the long-hidden tears that tainted her.
All her anger and sorrow, her grief and pain, all of it finally flowed out without stop. She sobbed and cried out everything her fragile heart had contained all this time.
Everything just hit her all at once, and she couldn't take it. A broken picture that had a broken girl and a broken name… her grief over her cherished paopu charm that never held anything more than lies… a boy she turned away from that saw her for what she really was… people that she thought she could actually be friends with…
Sora, Kairi, Riku, Xion, and Axel… she didn't have the right to be their friends. She was different from them… they were people who could love and be loved. They could be happy and live.
And so could he. Someday, he would find someone that could reach out to him. She was sure of that.
But not her.
She was doomed to fade back into the darkness.
Her tears, together with the wind, sung her lullabies and melodies that slowly lured her to sleep in the comforting warmth of dusk, hoping she could just fall into the eternal sleep between light and darkness.
Into nothingness, where it wasn't just her that was invisible.
...
...
She is now.
...
...
As always, she had no dreams. Her sleep was always blank and empty, as void as her heart.
But faintly… she thought her eyes groggily opened for a few minutes to see someone in the darkening blue-green, purple, and black sky. The first stars were already scattering around, emanating a dim light.
A flash of chocolate brown, auburn, and silver… Sora, Kairi, and Riku…? Jet black and fiery red… Xion and Axel, too… they were all crouching down beside her and placing something on the ground… their clothes were all tattered and dirty… even she could see that in the early night.
Was this a dream?
She lethargically blinked slowly with her sleep-induced half-lidded eyes, trying to concentrate and focus her blurry vision.
But they were already gone.
She was about to close her eyes again, deciding it was indeed just a dream, but then noticed that there was one more person beside her, holding her sketchbook.
A glimpse of soft spiky dirty blond locks, and a breath-taking melancholy cobalt blue.
He seemed familiar… someone she felt she was really close to…
He stayed there for quite some time, simply studying her drawing from what she could tell in her state, and then she finally closed her eyes, letting sleep overtake her once again.
Before she returned though, she listened to the familiar sound of pencil scratching upon paper.
Maybe it was just her, but she thought he was singing.
It was a song that she had always loved ever since she was a little girl and often sang when she knew she was alone, especially on the island.
It was a beautiful song, one that told of a girl who was always invisible and always waiting…
And she thought that after he finished singing, she heard him say something she had always wanted to hear someone say for a long time.
Her name.
...
...
And she'll sing...
...
...
Night had fallen. The first thing she saw were the millions of stars glittering in the dark sky when she awoke.
As she sat up from her curled position on the ground, she stretched and stifled a yawn, feeling incredibly exhausted but overall better from her sleep.
Surveying her surroundings, she breathed in a sharp intake of air, gasping.
Several things were on the ground around her. A fresh, ripe paopu fruit sat there, right in front of her, and beside it, a cooler. She lifted the lid and found a sea-salt ice cream inside.
For a moment, she wasn't sure what was happening, then she realized that the Sora, Kairi, Riku, Xion and Axel in her dream weren't a dream after all… they were really here, and they brought her this…
Her paopu charm. She tenderly picked it up and stared at it, confused. It was a little bit dirty and had a few scratches that could easily be cleaned off, but otherwise, it was fine. It was here.
Was that why their clothes were so tattered and worn? Did they go looking for it, and found it for her?
She started crying again, the warm tears streaming past her cheeks as put her charm back down.
Her breath was shaky as she lifted something from him.
A blue marble.
More tears fell as she held it in the palm of her hand. Why did he give this to her? It must have meant a lot to him, as her charm did to her… he had gazed at it through the sunset with such a fond look in his eyes, such a tender smile...
Her fingers wrapped around the deep, sapphire sphere that matched the ocean's blue, enclosing it in a warm, protective embrace against her chest where her heart beated gently.
In the back of her mind, she recalled the comforting sound of pencil on paper. She turned her head to her sketchbook, in the same place she had left it but seemed to be placed and positioned on the ground in a much more gentle manner, as if it was the most delicate and important thing in the world.
It was still open to the same drawing. And at first glance, she noticed nothing different about it. But then she looked closer in the darkness, and she saw that it was not just herself sitting on the bleachers… a boy with spiky dirty blond hair sat beside her.
She blinked, and a single tear – not of sadness, but happiness – trickled down her warm, stained cheeks and fell from her chin.
Right there, on the bottom, beside her neatly printed name was another scribbled beside it, just a little bit messier than her own.
"Namine…" She felt a smile break on her lips, and her eyes softened. "And Roxas."
...
...
Take another look at the face of Miss Always Invisible.
...
...
She came straight back home to the Old Mansion.
The White Room was as quiet as ever as she settled into her chair after taking a shower, changing into her silky light blue nightgown, and washing her white dress.
She wanted to get started on it as soon as she could.
Turning to a blank page in her sketchpad, she started sketching while eating the paopu fruit given to her to replenish her energy, the sweet and tangy juices tingling her taste buds as she bit into it.
She didn't stop even once, determined to bring the best out of the drawing. It wasn't until a little past midnight when she finished.
Then coloring began. Her color pencils gently brought life to the picture, her hand skillfully moving across the paper.
At early morning, she completed the task. Having already finished the paopu fruit a while ago, she felt hungry and wanted another snack.
Her feet led her to the mini cooler sitting at the other end of the table. She got the sea-salt ice cream out and walked back to her chair, already starting on the next drawing.
At noon sketching was done… then dusk, and so was the coloring.
The drawings were finished.
It was just him now.
No drawing could express the gratitude and happiness she felt for him. And it wasn't just that, too; past the desire to become friends with him, she wanted to find out the things that made him smile and laugh and cry. She wanted to reach into the very depths of his heart and find out what was there.
She used her hands to push her chair back and stood, stretching wearily. She walked around to the center of the table, smelling the soothing aroma of the white roses.
From the very moment they had bloomed, the beauty in their lives were brought out to the fullest, and would last until the very end when their deaths were near and their soft petals withered.
The beginning and endings are important, but the middle counts just as much, too.
On her bed were her papou charm and his blue marble. She picked up the paopu charm with her left hand, and the marble with her right. Over at the balcony, she held up the marble to the sunset, a glimmer sparkling from the reflection.
It was alluring, beautiful. And she could only think how wonderful it would be to see it from where he saw it, up on the clock tower where the sky was closer.
By the chain, she held up her paopu charm right next to the marble. She stared at the both of them, deep in thought.
As she walked over to her bed and fell onto her soft, ivory bed, aloof, her fingers enclosed around both the marble and charm.
She needed to let go of the world of pretend she had enshrouded herself in from the very beginning… she couldn't let her ending be in that kind of life.
She needed to let go… her paopu charm was never meant for her own selfish desires. It was meant to be like Kairi's... to be given to someone else, as a reminder that those two people would always be together, no matter what.
She wanted to give it to someone that was real, someone that meant something to her.
He had given her something important to him… something to lift her spirits again.
She wanted a happy ending like everyone else, too, and weave together a fairytale that wasn't make-believe and full of lies. She wanted a once upon a time and a happily ever after of her own.
If her name wasn't meaningless, if she wasn't invisible, then surely everyone did indeed share one sky and one destiny. And that included her.
Her hold on both the paopu charm and the blue marble tightened with determination.
She had made her decision.
...
...
Look a little closer and...
...
...
"Xion! Axel!" she called, running up to the pair who stopped and turned around to the blond-haierd girl.
When she caught up to them, panting, she rested her palms on her bare knees to regain her breath. After a few moments, she looked up, breathing almost completely normal again and smiled at the confused Xion and Axel. That was to be expected, since it was early Monday morning and they were on their way to Twilight High.
"What's wrong?" Xion asked worriedly.
She shook her head and put her backpack onto the ground, rummaging through its contents until she found what she was looking for.
"Here," she simply stated, handing over a rolled up piece of paper tied around with a sky blue ribbon. Xion and Axel took it, staring at the item with awe. They looked up to see the smiling girl, cerulean blue eyes happy and tender.
"I hope I can eat sea-salt ice cream with you guys again. I really do wanna become friends with you," she said.
Axel grinned warmly, "Of course! You're always welcome to be with us!"
Xion nodded in agreement, taking the girl's pale hands into her own. "You already are our friend."
Her eyes softened. "Thank you… for everything…" she whispered, before turning her back to them and running off, waving one final time with a radiant smile.
When the girl was out of sight, Xion and Axel focused their attention back on the paper. The latter nodded to the girl, indicating for her to untie it.
Her hands delicately did so, deliberately opening it to reveal a well-drawn, detailed drawing of her, Axel, and their other best friend, who was in the very center. They all seemed to be joking around and laughing joyfully whilst eating sea-salt ice cream and gazing at the sunset. They were on the clock tower, the one they used to so often visit as a trio.
And at the very bottom right corner was a name.
"Namine," Xion read.
"We've got a second idiot…" Axel shook his head, chuckling.
Xion merely smiled.
...
...
Maybe then you will see…
...
...
She placidly entered the art room, grinning as she sauntered over to her desk, sitting down behind him and beside the window.
Even though Sora, Kairi, and Riku were chatting, she knew they were still peering over at her out of the corner of their eyes constantly. She would've thought they would approach her, but she figured they wanted to give her some time and space for now, which was exactly what she wanted at the moment.
It wasn't for the reason that she wanted to do some art like usual, as they probably would have thought.
Today, she didn't do anything but gaze at the beautiful blue sky.
When class was over and Sora, Kairi, and Riku got ready to leave, she dug into her backpack swiftly and got out another rolled up piece of paper, the silky ribbon identical to that of the one given to Xion and Axel.
Just when the three were at the door, she rushed up to them and they greeted her enthusiastically with smiles on their faces.
"This is for you," she held out the scroll to them with both hands, and Riku was the one who reacted first from the silent, blank stares that had followed and took it.
"What is it?" Sora asked curiously, innocently leaning over Kairi to try and get a good look at the object in Riku's hands.
She responded with a grin. "You'll find out."
Kairi gingerly took the girl's hands into her own, her hand warm and gentle. "Thank you…" she said kindly.
Sora nodded in agreement. "Thanks! We're gonna have so much fun now that we're all good buddies!"
Riku gave her a grin as his thanks, too. "Right when summer starts, the island," he reminded.
She nodded; she hadn't forgotten. "Thank you again..."
"Well, see ya tomorrow!" Sora cried as the three friends left the room. She was waving goodbye to them with a wide smile stretched across her face as they left.
"You know…" Sora began, thinking. "We didn't even find out her name yet!"
Kairi blinked, gasping as she put a hand to her mouth. "That's right…! We'll have to remember to ask her tomorrow..."
Riku loosened the sky blue ribbon, unrolling the paper she gave them. "Actually, I don't think that will be necessary," he stated, smirking.
Sora and Kairi crowded around their silver-haired friend, their crystal blue eyes taking in the drawing as their own smiles lit up on their faces.
"Woah…!" Kairi was awestruck, her mouth agape.
"This is so much better than your masterpieces, Sora…" Riku remarked simply.
Ignoring Riku's comment, Sora exclaimed, "She must've worked forever on this!"
It was a drawing of the three of them on the curved paopu charm on the island; Riku was in the middle, while Sora was the left and Kairi on the right. They were all holding paopu fruits, and having their trademark smiles as they held their paopu fruits all together in the center. Sora with his goofy lopsided grin, Riku with his teasing smirk, and Kairi with her playful yet gentle smile. They all seemed to be laughing merrily, the sunset washing over them warmly.
"She's really a great artist," Riku complimented. "She's got everything right!"
"Super nice and awesome, too!" Sora added cheerfully.
Kairi nodded, grinning. Her hands gingerly smoothed out the bottom right corner of the drawing.
"Yup! And her name's Namine!"
...
...
Why she waits for the day…
...
...
He was staring at her, like he had been the whole day, as she walked back to her desk. She didn't sit down though, she just knelt down to shuffle through her backpack again, pulling out the last rolled up drawing, and along with that, her paopu charm and blue marble.
She gathered all three items with both her hands, pushing herself back up to go stand right in front of him. He questioningly looked up at her as he sat still in his seat.
She simply put the drawing and her paopu charm on his desk. Smiling, she told him, "It's yours now."
He unlaced the blue ribbon and opened the drawing studying the beautiful picture that didn't seem so lonely anymore. Now that she had someone sitting beside her on the bleachers to watch the sky… now that another name was beside her name.
She watched as he gently placed the drawing on his desk, and picked up the paopu charm, his fingers feeling the star's smoothness.
His hesitation didn't go unnoticed by her. She shook her head slowly.
"It's okay…" she whispered softly, and he looked up. "I don't need it anymore."
He smiled, and they gazed into each other's eyes. Both the sadness and the happiness shone in them, and they could only relax and dwell in how comfortable it was to share something so familiar.
To know that, truly, they were not alone.
Their hearts were connected.
She smiled, too.
With her hand, she held up her blue marble for him to see. It sparkled gloriously from the afternoon sunlight that beamed through the open glass windows.
"Thank you…" she told him tenderly.
She got her bag and stood up, the blue marble still in her hand.
At the door, she looked over her shoulder, smiling one last time at him.
"Thank you… Roxas."
...
...
When you'll ask her her name.
...
...
The week passed by quickly.
She spent the last few days gradually warming up to Sora, Kairi, and Riku during art class. All the while, she still continued to watch over him, as he did for her.
Afterschool, she went to Station Plaza and watched the sunset in the exact same place she did the first time. There, she would hold up her blue marble to the setting sun, smiling fondly. And before she left, her eyes would meet with his, and a grin was exchanged until he looked back at the paopu charm in his hand, and she turning back around to leave, the blue marble firmly held in her hand.
On Market Street, she did her daily round of odd jobs from the bulletin board. School was ending next Friday, and she realized at home after doing a quick munny count, she would be able to start moving her stuff over by the time summer started. So she worked harder than ever to get as much munny as she could, jubilant at her accomplishment from all the hard work she had done.
After the jobs, she met up with Xion and Axel and joined them in eating sea-salt ice cream. Mainly, she just giggled at whatever it was they were talking about, but bit by bit she started joining in their random conversations.
Just yesterday, they spoke of how he seemed happier now, and that he was talking more. The trio had even eaten sea-salt ice cream on the clock tower together, after a long time. She was a bit disappointed in missing the sight, as she wanted to see the them having fun together for once as the set of best friends they were. But maybe next time. It wasn't like they were going anywhere, and neither was she.
Friday now, and she was already beginning to get some of the lighter items she could carry over to the island.
When she got there, she set up what she could from the things she brought over, then got some water from the waterfall and used a cloth to wash down the small room carved within the large trunk of the tree.
It was evening by the time she finished, so she went outside with the white blanket from her bed in the White Room and laid it down on the wooden platform balcony. Once it was spread out evenly, she spread herself out on the soft cloth, her breathing calm and even as she gazed up at the twinkling stars.
She fell asleep, feeling protected and secure from the stars overhead, everything at peace.
When she woke up, it was completely dark. The stars were gone now. She remembered hearing once that it was always darkest before dawn.
She turned her head over to the ocean, hearing the waves soothingly sing its alluring lullaby. A small bit of light was in the distance. She groggily stood up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she stumbled over to the wooden railing, leaning her elbows on it and intently focusing on the light making its way through the darkness.
The dawn arose. A breath-taking, refreshing light brightened the whole world, turning the darkness in the sky into a pale lavender and pastel pink.
The marble was still in her hand, she realized, and so she lifted it up to the sunrise.
It was just as beautiful in the dawn as in the dusk.
She smiled.
A new beginning.
...
...
Then... one day...
...
...
The last day of school.
But just like every other day, her sad yet smiling eyes searched the vivid blue sky as she took her spot in the cool shadows under the bleachers.
Sora, Kairi, and Riku had invited her to eat lunch with them, but she much preferred this. They said they had asked him too, but he also said no. She was actually surprised to hear that they asked him, not aware that they were friends. The trio said they were though, and she could only assume it was because they worked together for her.
Sora, Kairi, and Riku had really become good friends of hers. They wanted her to spend some more time with them, and she gladly agreed.
Her favorite ivory white lace dress hugged her gracefully, her baby blue sandals with those tiny yellow diamonds adorning them. The summer sun shone its golden rays on the world.
She sat down on the soft, lush jade green grass to begin her last lunch of the school year under the bleachers.
She pulled out her paopu fruit and the mini cooler containing her sea-salt ice cream. Then her sketchpad, which she propped against her thighs.
Pencil in one hand and papou fruit in the other, she simultaneously sketched and ate. As she devoured the fruit, she thought of the island's ancient legend of the paopu fruit.
For a moment, her thoughts drifted off to the cave drawing of Sora and Kairi within the Secret Place, and she smiled.
It would be nice to share it with someone… but she didn't think she really needed it now. Sharing a paopu fruit was just to strengthen one's bond with a person they cared about.
Destinies are intertwined anyways; everyone shared one destiny. She thought that she was destined to disappear, doomed to fade back into darkness. But Sora, Kairi, Riku, Xion, and Axel showed her that that wasn't true. She could be happy and live in the light. No one deserved to have such a terrible fate like the one she had believed herself to have...
After finishing her paopu fruit, she proceeded with eating her sea-salt ice cream. Salty, but sweet. Something more to it than what it might at first appear.
Things may be hard sometimes… but it'll always turn out okay in the end. Life was bittersweet, as it should be.
Even if the heart may be weak... even if it gives in sometimes... there's a light that never goes out.
She smiled as she thought about Xion and Axel.
They had told her he was really opening up more. He was smiling more. They thought it was her who had done this, but she just grinned in response.
She, too, was smiling more. It seemed like they were growing together at the same pace.
She finished her ice cream and saw that her popsicle stick said Winner for the first time since she began eating it everyday during lunch. Xion and Axel had told her that if she got a winner stick, she could trade it in for a free extra sea-salt ice cream.
She thought about doing just that afterschool today when she was returning home, but then changed her mind.
She would give it to Xion and Axel, and ask them to give it to him.
He deserved it so much more than her.
She put the winner stick away in her bag, then held up her newest completed drawing.
This time, it was a picture of the two of them. She was holding her blue marble up, and he with his paopu charm. The light of dawn lit up their smiles together.
...
...
Just the same as the last just...
...
...
She laid herself out on the warm, sun-dried grass with her blue marble grasped protectively inside her hand. She closed her eyes as the breeze caressed her platinum blond hair and tickled her faintly pink-tinted cheeks.
It wasn't too long ago when she was doing the exact same thing, but this time it was different, she realized. She felt freer than ever, flying gentler.
She was happy.
She closed her eyes to let the sun soak into her, and she listened to the wind and the leaves, everything around her humming.
But she wanted to hear him singing that song again. She wanted to fall asleep to his beautiful voice, his arms protectively holding her in a warm embrace so that she knew he wasn't ever going to leave.
She wanted to hear him say her name again...
She wasn't too sure why, but she suddenly wanted to sit on the bleachers and look at the sky there.
Dragging herself up, she wandered over to the middle row of the metal bleachers and sat right in the middle. Her hand held up her blue marble to the afternoon sun, a smile forming as her crystal blue eyes saw her reflection in the orb.
She still wondered if she would be able to go on the clock tower to watch the sunset with the blue orb with him someday, to see the same thing he did when he was up there with the sky.
She still wanted to be friends with him, and a part of her wanted it to be something more, too. She would be okay if it never happened, for she was content just watching over him and being his guardian angel.
Was it foolish of her to not even know him that well, not have even spoken more than a few words to him, and still believe she held those beautiful, wonderful feelings she never thought she would be able to hold for another? Was it ignorance to have such a strong desire like this?
No... she was wrong. They knew each other much more than others did. It was a bond that transcended mere words.
And so she supposed it didn't matter, as long as this feeling was her heart's.
Somewhere inside her though, she knew without a doubt their destinies were already intertwined. They had connected long ago, and their hearts were finally responding fully to this familiar feeling.
They didn't say it, but she felt they were already the closest of friends.
And someday, she hoped that they would be something more.
Sora, Kairi, Riku, Xion, and Axel couldn't reach her, like she initially predicted and knew, though they were more than she had ever wished for. They believed in her with all their hearts.
But he reached her, and she did, too.
He was the first one other than herself to say her name.
The hope that was almost lost in the darkness lit up again, a candle rekindling its light.
The dawn she had been waiting for finally rose in her, and the dusk finally changed. The light that never went out... everyone has someone that is their light.
And maybe – no, she was sure – he was her light.
...
...
The days spend in counting the time...
...
...
The breeze tousled his gravity-defying dirty blond spikes gently as he stepped onto the fresh grass with his red, black, and gray sneakers. His sapphire eyes looked to the sky.
Everyday during lunch for the past year, he had seen her coming in direction, and so he already subconsciously knew the way.
He started walking, the paopu charm safely held in his large hand.
Another warm summer breeze drifted by, a little stronger. It gently ruffled his baggy tan and charcoal pants and the collar of his white jacket.
The bleachers were just in the distance, and he could see the girl sitting in the middle row, tranquilly holding up her blue marble.
It was just like how she drawn it… but it was missing the boy. It was missing him.
The image of black and white checkers flickered faintly in the back of his mind.
Black and white… light and darkness.
You can't have one without the other. There needed to be a balance.
Everyone needed to have a light and a darkness… someone to always be by their side.
He opened the palm of his hand to gaze fondly at the paopu charm.
His azure eyes looked to the sky again, the beautiful deep hues of blue reminding him of her crystal orbs and the ocean's waves.
His feet lightly led him to the bleachers, listening to the sweet tune of the rustling leaves, the waving grass, and the cooling wind.
That song, he remembered her singing it on the island when she thought no one was around. He had followed her then, it was before the both of them had begun attending Destiny High, and he wanted to see where she went so often.
She was sitting that summer day on the balcony railing that was near that hollowed out spot she heard from Xion and Axel was where she was going to live soon.
Her voice was sweet and beautiful, soothing as she sang of an invisible girl.
That was the only time he had gone to the island, except for when he went back with Sora, Kairi, Riku, Axel, and Xion to search for her. He didn't want to see her so sad again.
Even though she didn't mean for anyone to hear her singing that song, he knew that it was meant to be heard by someone else... it gave him a sense of pride to think that he was the one to listen.
He wondered if it would be okay to live on that island, too. He had lived in Twilight Town all his life... he loved his hometown, but he also wanted another new beginning. All the things that had happened now proved he was ready.
He wanted to be close to her.
He had also asked Xion and Axel on the clock tower the other day if he could take her up to the clock tower to see the sunset. They were more than glad to say what he wanted to hear.
It didn't matter to him if she didn't feel the same things he did for her. He couldn't care less if these feelings were irrational or blind... he just knew that for once, he felt something that was so pure and beautiful for her. For once he felt like his heart actually belonged to him, and not just some hollow part of him that he felt couldn't even exist for him.
All that mattered to him right now was her. And as he stepped across the field of lustrous emerald green grass, she was the only thing that filled his heart.
He was happy.
She didn't seem to notice when he reached her as she seemed to be absorbed with her thoughts and the blue orb. He noted the faint smile on her lips as she continued to gaze into the marble.
Silently, he stepped onto the metal bleachers. He walked over to her and sat down beside her with a smile on his face.
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Came a boy, who sat under the bleachers...
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Her hand rested back in her lap as she turned to him, a gentle smile forming on her lips to meet his.
Azure and cerulean eyes met, and in them they could see all the sadness, the tears, and the wounds that had yet to be healed, but were ever so slowly being mended from the broken fragments.
And there, they saw it, just a faint glimmer, but a glimmer nonetheless, something they thought they never would really find in another person. Love.
With just that one look, they reached inside each other's hearts once again, and the smiles only grew as the very thing they had truly reached long ago connected entirely.
He thought of everything... of everyone...
Sora, Kairi, and Riku, who were now his friends as well as hers, their kind, goofy smiles warm and cheerful.
Xion and Axel, who he had turned away from bit by bit, but still believed in him with all their hearts. And now, just like before, they sat together and joked about random things that made absolutely no sense while eating sea-salt ice cream again.
The smiling girl beside him, who wasn't so invisible anymore. Her beautiful sparkling crystal blue eyes shimmering in the sunlight, staring right back into his own.
The strong connection and love he felt for her, the girl that was just like him.
He already knew her name, but he wanted to taste it again on his lips.
Her eyes softened as she found the courage to whisper his name.
"Roxas…"
He fondly smiled back at her, slipping his hand in hers, sapphire blue orbs gazing into her cerulean ones. Softly, he, too, said her name.
"Namine."
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Just a little bit further behind...
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I really wish I could write better as to evoke feelings more…
Please review and give me your thoughts and feelings… as well as any constructive criticism you have. I really wish to improve my writing to be the best it can be!
This fic really means a lot to me. I hope this has impacted you in one way or another. :'D
Namine x Roxas~! RokuNami forever~! 8D
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