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welcome to Heero madness.

I dont own them....so stop asking....

Heero POV and madness! MAAAADDDNNNEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

I was the only one in the house. I walked from room to room, looking for something to do. I hated it when I got left here alone. not really my cup of tea. I dont minde my "alone time" but I need contact at all times. I need SOMEONE there at least. the worst part was not having Duo around...and that sounds weird. even to me...
I enterd a room with some boxes. I looked into one of them and found an old rag doll. I cradled her. longing for a little girl of my own who could have this all to herself. then I looked around, I felt like I was being watched. its a habit of mine, paranoia...I'm a solder. it happens. be on gard at all times. then I looked down at my broken arm, It clung to my torso, bound by a cast and a sling. I had to laugh some. Duo kept telling me to look behind myself...but I thought it best not to. next time, I'll listen...its hard to listen to Duo when half the time he makes a joke!
When it happend. A Moble Doll blasted me GOOD, and my Gundam had already had it, so the Camels back broke to say the least. I went down and the last thing I hear is Duo calling my name! then him saying, "Someone get him! PLEASE! I'll take care of them!" and when I was in the hospital, Duo was there by my side. he was the one to make me get the medical attention, ass hole. I could do this myself. I look at the writing on the cast, in black bold letters: "having a blast." I laughed. indeed. no one would get out alive when he was around. you may as well, close your eyes and kiss yourself goodbuy. Shinigami....
I looked up again...no one....
I shook my head then put the Doll back in her respective place. then rummaged some more. and found a book. a jernel. The title page said: "For The Trouble Makers"
I closed it. no, I was not going to...
I opend it again, That was....DUO'S hand writing. I look in the box. this was some of his stuff. the doll? Whos doll was it? not his surly...or was it, and he was just weird enough to have one. no, it had to belong to someone. I looked back at the book. it was black, and the binding was torne.
"I'm a trouble maker..."
the next line. I closed the book again. NO! This was his mind I was looking into....I opend it again...then closed it. NO! I stood up and walked from the room, with the book in hand. I placed it on the coffee table and went for a restroom break. That was hard to do by myself with one hand...usualy...Duo would help. Three minuts in the restroom...Three to long....I return to the living room, and glance at the sofa. I pictured Duo sitting on that sofa sprawled out really, flipping threw some TV channles. Then the vision was gone.
I picked up the book. I turn to a page:
"I wish that I could stay, but you argue...I would do anything for you, kill anyone for you...So leave yourself intact 'Cause I will be coming back."(1)
I close the book fast, making it -POP-
What was that...who was that for? Duo, had such a beautiful mind. I knew this, but I had no idea...really.
I open it back to that page, knowing what I was doing was wrong...
"The morning will come In the press of every kiss With your head upon my chest Where I will annoy you With every waking breath 'Til you decide to wake up. "(1)
I shut it one more time...last time...no more....no more!
I toss the book back in the box. with the rest of his stuff. this was insain. Was I crazy to think that poem was for me? yeah, I was.

I shot upright with my eyes wide. my arm was killing me. pain shot through it. starting at my wrist and working its way up to my head it seemed. I hold it close to my chest and beg for it to stop. then I jump and reach for my gun...that wasent there. OH NO...where did I put it? someone was here, and I needed my net. "Heero? you ok?" I jumped once more when the sound had a face to it. Duo's.
"Fine." I say. What was with me and my one liners? Duo smiled. "Ok, well...if you need anything, holler. I'm in here eating lunch. it was my turn first to come back here and check on you..." he trailed off as he went to the kitchen.
I followed.
"Is that so?" I ask. he turned around and sat down to his sandwitch. "Yeah, I vollenteared." he grabed up his meal and took a big, Duo, sized bite. I sat down across from him, just gazing. "Wuht?" he said with a mouth full. I shook my head. "Thats discussting Duo, close your mouth, chew, swallow, then talk." I say. even though I had a bad habit of doing the same. He did as I instructed. "Ok, better?" I nod. "So, wha'cha looking at?" I roll my eyes. "nothing...I'm just watching you...is all." Duo smiled and I felt my heart skip.
"Ok..." Duo stuck his toung out, and crossed his eyes, sticking his fingers in her nose, stretching out his nostrals. I fought the erdge to laugh. truth was, he cracked me up. "gosh, never mind...I give up! you're like Batman, and I'm The Joker..." I knew what he ment, only because he made me watch a cartoon movie about the two. Joker, just wanting to make Batman laugh. he went back to his sandwitch. after his bite, he looked up at me as he wiped his hands and mouth. "you want one dont you?" he got up befor I could say anything. he began to make me one. and I was a little worried. I was allergic to tomatos, and wheat bread....
Finished...
White Bread, and no tomatos. just mayo, lettus, and a few slices of ham. I look up at him, that was it, my favorite sandwitch. "Eat up Hee-Chan." he said sitting back down. I look over at the counter. he had left everything out. he was a tornado....
I looke up at him, not able to find words. "Something wrong?" he asked. "no, looks good." I say. "well...EAT!" he said cheerfully. I look back down, I was weird about eating infront of anyone, made me nearvous....I picked it up and...slowly...took a bite, cursing myself for being so foolish. it was the best I had tasted, for some reason, but it was all the same ingreadeants...or was it? I tasted something wonderful. "Whats in it?" I ask as I whipe my mouth. "I mixed a bit of Pepper into the Mayo..." Duo said. "But what you tast is LOVE!" he said with a giggle. Thats what it was. I just knew it. I looke down at the food. he was right. and it was great.
he finished and took his plate to the sink, he tossed it in so hard it made me jump with the noise. he belched loudly and tossed his brade over his shoulder. I rolled my eyes. "Ok, so, you need anything, befor I get out of here?"
Make him stay, dont let him leave...
"Yeah...I need to pee..."
Pee? did I just say that?
"Sure...I'll help." he said....
I made my way into the restroom, unzipped myself and began my task. when I finished I called to him. he walked in and coverd his eyes. "You dune?" he asked. My heart was pounding. "y-yeah..." "Put little Jimmy away, and I'll help you zip up."
"LITTLE!" I shoute. he laughed. "watch it, or I'll do it for you!" he said, and my heart pounded faster. "I got it. ok, just zip me up Baka." I say. he laughed and pulled me close by placing his hands on my hips. I blushed but lowerd my head so he wouldnt see...lucky me I was shorter than he was. he zipped me up. "All dune. well, anything else?"
Dont let him...
"Yeah, uh...the TV broke..." Duo laughed. "Oh did it now..." he left the bathroom and I followed.
Damn, my plan was failing...he had the tv on to a station for music. he started to ho up and down a little and twerling his head.
"Shes Lump Shes Lump Shes lump, she might be dead!"(2) he sang out as he danced. I smiled, good thing he was destracted. he stoped and I almost smaked myself in the face to stop the smile. "Looks fine to me. Ok...anything else?" he siad, and for once he sounded anoyed. he was anoyyed with ME! oooh, weird Roll reverse...made me feel weird, feel...like him. in his head...I had to get into his head. I rememberd the book.
"Heero? did you take any meds latly?" I jumped back to reallity. "Oh, no...nothing."
"Are you herting?" he asked. and at that point I wished he would make his way over to me and hug me. I had to stop this. I wished I had slapped myself. "No." I said finally. "ok, so I can go now? right?" he asked as he changed threw some channels. he stoped at a channel for car repair. he loved mechanics. why do I know that? I shook my head. "Wished you could stay, but I should stop arguing..." I say, hoping that would get his attention. and it did. he jerked his head to me and smiled. "What?" he asked. I shook my head. "No really...what? What was that?" I backed up when he started to aproch me. "Really...I sware its like you're in my head..."
"Oh...really?" I ask. so it really was his poem...
"yeah, like a hundred years ago I wrote some drabble down in an old note book...and I would read it, like all the time...I know it sounds funny, but that line of yours you used on me a moment ago, was in one of them drabl'ens...weird huh. you know, I havent seen that thing in like a million years." I almost laughed. how old was Duo REALLY! plus...mission accompleshed....I think.
He began to leave the room, he was going to the storage closet...OH NO! now he would know!

he returned a moment later with the book. "yeah, here it is...WOW! where the hell have you been?" he asked the book. I was shaking a little bit and I felt hot. Like getting cought in a Lie or something.
he flipped threw it and found that page. he read that line. "see right here! weird huh? wow..." he said mostly to himself as he flipped thew a few other pages.
I had to know...
"Who did you write it for?" I asked then shamed myself. Dumb ass!
"hum?" he said sweetly looking up at me with those big violet eyes. "uh...I'm not sure..." he said, but I had a weird feeling he knew. oh he knew, he just didn't wanna say. he set the book down and looked over at me, I felt like he was accusing me...Oh he was...I just knew it...
"what do you think?" he asked. "What do yo mean? like what I think about the line? becasue I'm not sure. I dont know the rest of it." I lie, trying to change the subject some how. "you want me to read it to you?" he asked. I shook my head. "Yeah, I know, who am I kiddn' you dont wanna hear all that crap." he said, and I was now hurt. fuckit someone shoot me... "well, thats not really true. I just never really thought you would share something like that with someone like me." I say, it was to late to stop it now. the conversation was lost in time. but hey, he was still here. and I wasent alone. "you're not that bad." Duo said. he sat on the sofa. "I mean, yeah, your kinda emotionally constepated, but your not Mr. Freeze or nothin'." he said with a giggle. "you really wanna know who its for?" he asked. I stayed quiet, did I really want to know. what if it was me it was for? did I want that. and what if it was for someone else...could I handle it. "Do you? I'll tell you...you're gunna laugh." he said, I finally nodded.
"Well, this was a few years ago...but it was writen for you...thats why its weird that you said that..." he trailed off only because I stopped paying him mind. that whole thing was for me...and he had no idea I knew the rest of it. he felt that way about me? well, he did say it was writen a long time ago...
"...better go." I looked up, he had finsihed talking and was getting up.
"Yeah." I say wishing to god I never woke up this morning. He was makind his way out the door, and he turnde to me. "burn that thing, would ya'?" he asked. "Why? I bet theres some good stuff in there you might not want to lose." he tapped his temple. "Got it all in here..." he said. then he dissapeared out of the door. "Be safe." I say, and he turned and saluted in a goofy way ass he walked bakwards, then he gave me a wink and headed to his Jeep. he was gone, and I was alone again.
That was it, I wanted to read more. get in his head...or did I? oh well, to late now, the book was in my hand and I was opening it....
"I never thought I'd Die alone...I laughed the loudest who'd have known.
I traced the cored back to the wall, no wonder it was never plugged in at all"(3)
I looked up and closed my eyes. yeah, I dont think I wanted to know, that much at least...this was his head and I was infeltrating it. I turned the page and there was a scribling of a dead guy in the hands of an angle. To much! I turned the page...
It was that page...
"So leave yourself intact 'Cause I will be coming back. In a phrase to cut these lips, I love you. "(1)
my mouth dropped open. whoe...heavy....I couldnt read it anymore. I felt so funny. he had to be in pain for keeping this in so long, I know I was feeling it...for keeping myself in and away from him for so long. I opend to the last page. and nearly cried...after I read it....
"Dead as dead can be My doctor tells me But I just can't believe him Ever the optimistic one I'm sure of your ability To become my perfect enemy

Wake up and face me Don't play dead 'cause maybe Someday I will walk away and say You disappoint me Maybe you're better off this way

Leaning over you here Cold and catatonic I catch a brief reflection Of what you could and might have been It's your RIGHT and your ability To become my perfect enemy."(4)
I remember the fight we had, this was dated a few months ago. the fight in our gundams...me and him...and he hurt me pretty good...I thought I was going to die. They dont call him God of Death for nothing.
"go on and play dead, why cant you turn and face me, you fucking dissapoint me." (4)
It was titled Passive. What was he meaning? I felt like now, he didn't feel the way I thought he did.
Oh, what if he hated me...what if he was just playing nice...I had a history of Suicide....
I turned to another page. there was only one line. "Its me, yeah, I cant get myself to go away..."(5)
I sat back. what a wonderful mind. I heard a car pull up and realized I had been out of it for an hour or so. I jumped and closed the book I was reading and placed it under the sofa cushions. Duo came in and smiled wide at me. "Got some more time off, and I had to come back...Ah, Heero...you ok? hurtin'?" I shook my head fast. oh, this was bad, I was sitting on DOOM!
"you sure. say, you hungry? have you eaten, I got the munchies hard core, and I want a burger, you want one?" I had no idea what to say. did he hate me or not? "That's ok." I say coldly. I decided, hate.
"uoh, ok...well...I'll be back then...you sure?" I turned my head away from him. "hn." famous!
"Ok..." he said leaving. the sound of his voice indicated he was hurt...so if he hates me...awww...damn...
I jump up and run for the door. I burst out of it. "DUO!" I shout. he stopped on his way to his Jeep. he turned around. "mmyeah? change your mind?"
I nod. "I'm sorry...about just a moment ago."
"eh, I'm used to it." he said helping me with the door. Oooh, knife to the heart. "honestly, I'm shocked you said sorry." and the twist! no wonder I longed to kill myself. and Duo was the only one here....I bet everyone else drew straws...or did the "1,2,3, NOT IT" thing. and Duo lost...or maybe he just wanted to be here...
"Is it true?" I ask out loud into his ear, he was buckling my belt. "s'wat true?" he asked sitting proper in his seat. Oh shit, I did say it! "Uh...that Fack'Donalds had better burgers?" I lie. Duo laughed. "I dont know. maybe, you wanna go there?"

"I don't care..." I needed to talk to him about all this, now that I knew. I had to spill somehow...
I sneezed. Duo jumped then laughed. "Shit! noce one, Curse you!"
"I thought it was 'Bless you.'" I say. "NAH!" was his response. I try not to smile. oh this was getting to much.........
"I READ IT! OK I DID, AND I KNOW IT WAS WRONG...I-" "read what?" Duo asked turning down the radio.
I was out of breath. "The...book..." Duo turned away from me and concentrated on the road. he looked like never before, serous. he said nothing the whole way to the restaurant. he ordered a few burgers, one with no tomato's. then turned up the music and stayed quiet.
we were almost to the house when he turned it down, and I felt like a little kid about to get in some serous trouble. "Why'd you read it." he sounded to serous to be Duo...
"I...I dont know..." I said lowing my eyes to the burger not getting eaten.
"What did you think?" he asked in monotone. the emotion was gone from his face and his voice.
"I-I guess it was good..." I say trying like hell to get out of this. what was I thinking! I have gone and lost my mind.
"Just good eh? well, that's to bad." he said reaching over and grabbing his drink. he took a sip then set it back in the holder.
"To bad?" I ask.
"you read my most personal thoughts, and you know now its all about you...and its just 'good' that lets me know what you feel, what you think." he said almost to low toned. I had to gasp. "no!" I say softly. "no what?"
"Not good...weird...excellent...beautiful..." I had to stop because he was glaring hols in me. we had stopped...we were back at the house. "keep going. its saving your ass." he said in a growl. and for the second time in my life, I feared for my life. only because it was Duo here....
"Uh, I dont really know. I mean, I'm sorry I read it...but at the same time, I'm not..."
"Why not?" he asked. he had pulled a smoke from the pack and lit it up. I didn't want to look at him "because, now I know..." I said. time to dive in...
"and I really wanted to know...because it makes me happy that you would write all that about me...well, the ones that were for me any way."
"You could tell?" he asked, I looked for a moment, as he spoke, smoke escaped from his mouth in time with the words.
"Yeah." I say, Really not wanting to talk about all the poems in there about his death...
"and" he urged.
"and...uh, I don't get the last one..."
"Passive?" he asked as a quiz.
"Wake up and face me, dont play dead..." I repeat.
"Thats it." he said. "I don't really get it myself, I was angry at you for dieing on me, and when they tolled me you were ok..."
I looked over at him, right in his eyes. he stopped talking. "go on." I said.
"Don't let the world bring you down...." He started, talking to me...ME...as in, the me behind me...
"Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold, remember why you came, and why you're alive. experience the warmth before you go." (6)
I looked away. don't, don't look at me. no one should do that. "That was what I never wrote down. it just stayed here. but it was for you." he reached over and grabbed his drink, then smiled. he was back..."So what do we do now?" he asked. and I shrug. "I mean, you know I like you...so where do we go?"
I shrug again. "Where do you want to go."
Duo shifted in his seat. "Don't ask me that." he said. "Well, I sure as hell dont know! do we kiss now?" Duo threw his head back and cackled. he had evil in his eye, and shit eating grin on his face. "Oh no, now we hafta get naked!" he said in an evil growl. "Shut up baka, I may be inexpereance, but I'm not stupid."
"calm down Batman. I know. I'm just messing with you." he took a fry from my side of the car. he shoved it in his mouth and cringed. "HOT!" he said waving his hands over his mouth. "Well if you weren't such a pig it would never happen." I say handing him his drink. he drank some then smiled over at me. "Heero...you like me don't you?"
"What...I"
"Don't you Heero...."
I lowerd my head. "maybe..." I say.
Duo began to laugh maniacal. "MUAHAHAHAHA! you like me!"
"shut up..." I say softly.
"Batman like the Joker!" he teased. Damn, should I have kept my mouth shut.......speaking of mouth.......
As I sat there and sulked I hear Ice clater in his cup, and befor I knew it, he had kissed me. the city just burned down...

(1) Wake Up, by coheed and Cambria

(2) Lump, by the presidents of the united states.

(3) Adamn's song, By Blink 182

(4) Passive, By A Perfect circle

The rest I forgot, no I dont own the lyrics...so leave me alone!