Author's Note: Okay, so this was a lovely idea that sprung into my mind, and I'm afraid it wasn't executed in enough detail for my liking. Because of this, I may go back and rewrite this or expand upon it in the future, but for now, have this quick piece of writing I did. All mistakes are mine, and this is day one of my Fitzsimmons six-word story countdown for the premier of season two of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
You are home. I am homesick.
When I first arrived at the Academy at the age of sixteen years old, the first time I had ever been in America by myself, the amount of homesickness I felt for England was overwhelming. My university dorm replicated the structure of my room at home, including the photographs of friends and family upon the walls and the Harry Potter posters adorning the ceiling, but it felt like an empty house. There were no happy memories to create the familiar sensation. However, I remained there due to my studies even though I was aware of how simple it would be to indulge and purchase a plane ticket to England, a plane ticket home.
Things changed as time progressed. The acquaintances I had met during the first few weeks of my time at the Academy slowly transformed into friends, people who made me laugh and helped me create a set of new memories, and I became lab partners with a boy named Leo Fitz. He was a similar age, and though his specialty was focused upon engineering rather than biochemistry, we began working together on several projects outside of our decided majors. The schoolwork was engaging, and by the end of my first year at the Academy, I realized that the Academy had become home in replacement of England.
When Fitz and I completed our first year at the Academy, we decided to remain in America throughout the break and take additional classes, and though the dorms remained available throughout the summer semester, we agreed it would be nice to have a place that was slightly bigger. We began renting an flat together only a few minutes away from the Academy, and though it wasn't too much bigger, we considered it to be an improvement over living in a shared dorm. It began as two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living room, a kitchen, and an office area dedicated towards science. However, that changed as we gradually brought home an increasing amount of equipment from the lab and the area for performing experiments expanded from the separate room and spilled into the living room. When we weren't devoting our spare time to experimentation of devices Fitz had created or chemicals I had synthesized, we wasted the hours playing board games, such as Monopoly, or watching Doctor Who. By the time we graduated the Academy, I considered the apartment to be my home instead of the Academy or England.
Everything was shifted once again after I was contacted by Agent Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D. requesting our presence upon a team he was personally arranging. Though Fitz was reluctant at first, hesitant to leave our home at the apartment, I eventually convinced him, and we moved into adjacent bunks on the plane that Coulson called the Bus. Agent Coulson and Agent May were somewhat distant, often engrossed in their individual missions and concerns, while Fitz and I remained behind to become acquainted with Skye and Agent Ward. Skye illuminated the plane with her enthusiasm, and though she had unconventional methods to solve the problems, her out-of-the-box thinking was welcomed among Coulson's original team. Agent Ward was quiet, something that I had expected from someone from operations, and didn't say much, but his devotion to the team was evident whenever we were endangered. Fitz and I continued to work on some of our projects from before, including a weapon that released a powerful dose of dendrotoxin, and remained together – a team. The interactions with my other teammates and welcoming atmosphere of the Bus, especially after a rough mission, eventually deemed it the title of home, replacing the locations prior to it.
I was analyzing the chemical structure of an unknown compound, listening to Leo's ramblings with the back of my mind, when suddenly I was struck with a revelation. My home wasn't the Bus, the apartment I shared with Fitz, the Academy, or England, and it hadn't been any of those things in years. Leo Fitz had become my home even though I had never consciously recognized it. A home was a place defined by a familiar or usual setting, a place of origin, a place to be relaxed and comfortable, and a location where one is in harmony with the surroundings. Leo was all these things for me and has been for years. He is home.
But like my yearning to return to England after I moved to the Academy, I am homesick.
I can ignore it most of the time, shove down the homesickness and replace it with contentment with the fact that I am home around him, but there are times where I simply cannot disregard it. Times when he brushes my hand while reaching for some tool, times when he glances over at me with those familiar blue eyes, times when he sits close enough to me that our shoulders are aligned, times when I feel nearer to him than I generally do. It is times like those when I am consumed by the urge to be closer, to be home. I yearn to press my lips against his, to run my fingers through his curls, to settle into his embrace, to entwine my fingers with his, but I can't do it.
I can't do it because I can't risk losing Leo, no matter how homesick he might make me.
Author's Note: Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! If you would like to see more of my works, just head over to my profile and check out some of the other things I have there, such as a lot of Fitzsimmons stuff.
Also, please leave a review! What takes me an hour to write only takes you moments to review!
Thank you! ~NN