Elsa POV
"Conceal don't feel, conceal don't feel", the words started to sound more and more like a broken record, stuck on
repeat playing in the background of my life. I paced back and fourth within my room. My hands physically forcing it into my mind. Hoping to driving the 'said' mantra into my sub conscience. A vicious snow storm ragged through the covered the walls and floor. icicles forming, hanging dangerously low from the ceiling, threatening to break off and impale anyone who walks underneath them.
'You're repulsive, disgusting, twisted'a voice echoed in my head.
I grimaced at the voice " N.. n.. no I'm.. not" I whispered aloud, into the open space.
'You are! What do you call those vulgar thoughts your having for your kid sister? I wonder what Anna would say if she knew her older sister wanted nothing more then to hear her moaning your name?'
" No... i... stop. p.. please" I clenched my eyes shut, squeezing my hands into tight balls trying to feel pain rather than hear the voice. My finger nails digging deep into my palms, until I draw blood. The storm began to worsen. The wind picked up becoming stronger then it has ever been. Icicles grew upon the wall multiplying with every second as the storm raged on. Panic dowelled within, as the walls seem to close in on me."Why is this so hard to control?!" I cried out angrily.
'Isn't it obvious? Your scared of hurting Anna' the voice taunted me.
"I wouldn't hurt her!" I bit my lip unnervingly.
'You don't sound so convinced. Why is that? Hmm?... You've done it before, twice to be exact, first when you were children, the second time you froze her heart! What makes you so sure, your not going to hurt her a third time?'
It was true, what would make this time any different? I hated to agree with the voice, but in all honesty, how could I protect Anna, when my emotions were all conflicted. What made me so sure, that I wouldn't lose her again? That i wouldn't hurt her again?
'Who knows you might actually kill her' the voice continued to push me.
"St.. stop" I whined pitifully. Pushing at the sides of my temples with all my anger.
You know it's true! You're nothing but a MONSTER!"
"SHUT UP!" the sound of my voice reverberated off the walls. Instantly the blizzard came to a calm, hanging in grief. I collapsed to the ground, holding myself trying to calm my shaking body. This is what I had to do, I've done this since I could remember. Ever since I was isolated in my room, I had to learn to only love myself.
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*I knew that rhythmic pattern anywhere.
"Elsa?" Anna's voice sounded broken. I lifted my gaze towards the ice coated door. A sicking feeling tightened around my heart.
"Please open the door?" She pleaded, her voice cracking, betraying her usual chippy and sweet singing voice. All I wanted to do was throw the door open, pull Anna close and cradle her, Tell her how sorry I am for shutting her out once again. But my body was numb..paralysed with fear, the terror that I could possibly hurt her.
"You promised me you wouldn't do this anymore..." Her voice muffled, lowering in volume. I shut my eyes turning away from the door. I couldn't take it anymore, hearing her voice so fragile only tightened the the cord around my heart. 'Please.. just go away Anna' I pleaded to myself. I listened to Anna's distant foot steps down the empty hall. As soon as Anna was out of ear shot, I brought my knees to my chest, lowering my head into my folded arms, let out a breath I was holding in and started to cry 'I'm so sorry Anna" I sobbed.
'MONSTER' the voice snarled before fading away into oblivion.
Anna's POV
"How could she do this to me? She promised, that she wouldn't shut me out again" I grumbled.
"Maybe she just wants some alone time Anna", Kristoff suggested, as he bit into a carrot and gave the other half of it to Sven.
I frowned deeply "Shes been in her room for three day's straight. I'm really worried about her, if somethings bothering her, why can't she just come talk to me? I mean I'm her sister for pete sake! After all we've been through, I thought by now she would understand that I'm always here for her no matter what."
I watched as Kristoff made him self more comfortable on his hay stack like bed. "Well, what if.. I mean what if it has something to do with you? That could be why she doesn't want to talk to you."
I let the idea sink in. "That's all the more reason for her to talk to me. Plus I haven't done anything to her. It's barely been a month since Arendelle suffered through the eternal winter, I haven't been able to spend any time with her let alone actually see her since she is constantly doing her royal duties and stuck in her office doing paper work" I sighed at the thought, of never being able to truly get to sit down and have a full out conversation with my sister. Ever again.
Suddenly a loud clanging sound came from the log cabin window. Kristoff was the first to act, as he jumped off the hay stack and ran towards the window. "Well whatever it is, she's severely upset" I pushed myself off of the hay, brushing away any dirt and stray hay that has fastened it's self to my clothes. Shuffling my way towards the window, I gasped at the sight before my eyes. "Elsa?" I breathed. A treacherous blizzard was ragging through Arendelle. Hail, the size golf balls poured down viciously shattering tree branches and destroying shrubbery as they followed there trajectory to the ground.
'Was this storm because of me?' The thought came as quickly as it faded away. I subconsciously touch the cold glass window lowering my head, biting my lip anxiously. Suddenly a warm hand caressed my shoulder. I looked up to meet Kristoff's warm eyes.
"I think you should go talk to her." He said, not quite a demand and not quite a suggestion..
"How? She barely comes out of her room. The only time she does come out is when she thinks everyone is..." I stopped mid sentence realizing when I would be able to corner Elsa. A smile spread widely on my face.
''Looks like you found your time" Kristoff chuckled smiling brightly at me. I nodded my head in agreement.
"I'll give you a ride back to the castle, we will arrive within the hour. Hopefully Elsa will calm the storm down by then but for now make yourself comfortable" I watched as Kristoff walked back to his seat beside Sven. My gaze trotted back towards the window. "I'll be home soon Elsa try and relax till I get there" I whispered to myself feeling a sense of hope, before heading back to my seat.