Alright so here's my first - uploaded - fanfic! =) I'm having major uploading issues, so if this looks weird, that's why. anyways, just a couple notes: the girls' name is Hikari, and no it's not because she's supposed to me. it's just that Hikari means Light and of course at the present L is living with someone named Light... it's just for some added drama. just wanted to make that clear. and just so there's no confusion, the timing is set before Light remembers he is Kira and before they have the prominent Higuchi lead. I made the date September 21st - I have no clue if that actually follows the timing of the series... ^.^" that's all I'm gonna say for now. Enjoy!
"Has anyone seen Ryuzaki?" asked Light, motioning to his un-handcuffed wrist. "I thought he would be here by now."
"Yes, it is really strange for him to be late." Soichiro replied, turning to face his son. "What was he doing last night?"
"Nothing. When I fell asleep he was awake and just staring out the window. He did look depressed, I have to admit. This morning he unlocked my handcuffs and told me to head straight downstairs. I haven't seen him since."
"Maybe you should go check on him." suggested Matsuda. "Especially if he seems depressed. I mean, you guys are pretty close, right?"
Light scowled and turned back to his computer. It's not like we have a choice. He thought to himself, then sighed. L did consider Light to be his only friend, after all.
"Well... I would, but he would probably get mad at me for not staying here."
"I'll walk up with you." said Soichiro. "So Ryuzaki knows you couldn't have done anything suspicious."
Light deliberated for a minute. "...Okay. Fine."
Father and son both stood and began to head up the staircase. They walked into the living room and Light paused at the bedroom door to knock.
"Ryuzaki? You in there? You okay?"
It was silent for about a whole minute, then the door slowly opened.
"What do you want...Light?" asked L. Light peered at him in confusion. His voice was slow, exhausted and very... sad. And it seemed he had a hard time saying Light's name for some reason.
"Um... well... we were worried since you hadn't come down yet... is everything alright?"
L slowly lifted his gaze to look straight into Light's eyes. His usually emotionless eyes were uncharacteristically filled with words, a look that told Light all he needed to know.
"Um, Otousan? I need to speak with Ryuzaki alone for a moment."
Soichiro nodded. "I'll be downstairs." he replied, leaving. Light went into the bedroom and closed the door, then grabbed L's sleeve and pulled him over to the bed where he pushed on his shoulders to make him sit. L automatically pulled his knees up to his chest as Light rolled the desk chair in front of L so he could face him. L had not resisted or glanced at Light once the entire time.
"Talk to me, Ryuzaki. Tell me what's wrong."
It once again took a long moment before L responded. When he did, he looked at Light with the same expression he had before.
The one that said, No, nothing is alright. How the hell could anything ever be right? You just don't know, do you? So leave me alone.
"I do not want to talk to you, Light. Go away."
"I will not go away until you tell me why you are depressed and not working on the case."
L let out a deep frustrated breath and swallowed carefully, closing his eyes and pressing his pale fingers to his temples.
"It's not your business, Light. Please leave me alone."
"Ryuzaki... L. I want to help you."
"Go to hell, Light." L said unexpectedly, glaring murderously at the surprised teen.
Light stared at the trembling man in front of him in utter shock. What could have possibly happened that's making him act so strange?
Light quickly recovered and snatched the handcuffs from the desk, snapping it onto L and himself.
"What are you-?!"
L's shout was cut short as Light yanked him up but the arms and began to pull him forward, stretching the chain taut.
"Shut up. We're going downstairs to work because there's a mass murderer out there right now and our job is to catch him. We have no time to be depressed."
L jerked the chain back, pulling Light to a stop. "I am not leaving this room, Light Yagami. And you had better not try to make me." his voice was calm and controlled, but anyone could detect the threatening undertone.
Light looked straight at L's eyes. They were furious, frustrated...
And the most despondent, forlorn things he had ever seen in his life. He slowly let the chain go slack.
"L... what happened to you?" he whispered.
"Has anyone seen Ryuzaki?" asked Light, motioning to his un-handcuffed wrist. "I thought he would be here by now."
"Yes, it is really strange for him to be late." Soichiro replied, turning to face his son. "What was he doing last night?"
"Nothing. When I fell asleep he was awake and just staring out the window. He did look depressed, I have to admit. This morning he unlocked my handcuffs and told me to head straight downstairs. I haven't seen him since."
"Maybe you should go check on him." suggested Matsuda. "Especially if he seems depressed. I mean, you guys are pretty close, right?"
Light scowled and turned back to his computer. It's not like we have a choice. He thought to himself, then sighed. L did consider Light to be his only friend, after all.
"Well... I would, but he would probably get mad at me for not staying here."
"I'll walk up with you." said Soichiro. "So Ryuzaki knows you couldn't have done anything suspicious."
Light deliberated for a minute. "...Okay. Fine."
Father and son both stood and began to head up the staircase. They walked into the living room and Light paused at the bedroom door to knock.
"Ryuzaki? You in there? You okay?"
It was silent for about a whole minute, then the door slowly opened.
"What do you want...Light?" asked L. Light peered at him in confusion. His voice was slow, exhausted and very... sad. And it seemed he had a hard time saying Light's name for some reason.
"Um... well... we were worried since you hadn't come down yet... is everything alright?"
L slowly lifted his gaze to look straight into Light's eyes. His usually emotionless eyes were uncharacteristically filled with words, a look that told Light all he needed to know.
"Um, Otousan? I need to speak with Ryuzaki alone for a moment."
Soichiro nodded. "I'll be downstairs." he replied, leaving. Light went into the bedroom and closed the door, then grabbed L's sleeve and pulled him over to the bed where he pushed on his shoulders to make him sit. L automatically pulled his knees up to his chest as Light rolled the desk chair in front of L so he could face him. L had not resisted or glanced at Light once the entire time.
"Talk to me, Ryuzaki. Tell me what's wrong."
It once again took a long moment before L responded. When he did, he looked at Light with the same expression he had before.
The one that said, No, nothing is alright. How the hell could anything ever be right? You just don't know, do you? So just leave me alone.
"I do not want to talk to you, Light. Go away."
"I will not go away until you tell me why you are depressed and not working on the case."
L let out a deep frustrated breath and swallowed carefully, closing his eyes and pressing his pale fingers to his temples.
"It's not your business, Light. Please leave me alone."
"Ryuzaki... L. I want to help you."
"Go to hell, Light." L said unexpectedly, glaring murderously at the surprised teen.
Light stared at the trembling man in front of him in utter shock. What could have possibly happened that's making him act so strange?
Light quickly recovered and snatched the handcuffs from the desk, snapping it onto L and himself.
"What are you-?!"
L's shout was cut short as Light yanked him up but the arms and began to pull him forward, stretching the chain taut.
"Shut up. We're going downstairs to work because there's a mass murderer out there right now and our job is to catch him. We have no time to be depressed."
L jerked the chain back, pulling Light to a stop. "I am not leaving this room, Light Yagami. And you had better not try to make me." his voice was calm and controlled, but anyone could detect the threatening undertone.
Light looked straight at L's eyes. They were furious, frustrated...
And the most despondent, forlorn things he had ever seen in his life. He slowly let the chain go slack.
"L... what happened to you?" he whispered.
L turned away and walked out of the bedroom to go look out the window. Light followed and stood beside him.
"She died." L whispered so quietly Light had to lean toward him to catch it.
Silence settled like a dark, heavy blanket.
"Six years ago today, she died." He continued after the prolonged silence, moving to face Light, unsuccessfully trying to hide the anguish in his voice and eyes. Light gazed into those eyes until finally he wordlessly unlocked the handcuffs, leaving them and the key on the counter as he left. As he was closing the door he saw L still standing in the same spot, arms wrapped around himself, shaking as the tears streamed from his tightly closed eyes. Light knew L would not want him there.
~*~
L stood rooted in that one spot for quite some time, letting the relief of crying wash through him. He was grateful to Light's perception; if Light had stayed it would have made this much harder.
When he finally regained his ability to move he went back into the bedroom and closed the door, glad that this room had curtains to block out the glaring midday sunlight. He curled up in a tight ball on the bed and pulled the covers entirely over him. Even with that he began to shiver, thinking of how it felt when she had laid beside him... usually he blocked those memories out, never allowing them to enter his mind at all, but now they were suddenly everything, everything he knew and saw. Every September 21st would always be the worst... and yet the best day of his life. The worst because it was the day he lost everything, but the best because it was the only day he could think of her...
The tears still flowing gently, L fell into a trembling sleep whispering, "Aishiteru..."
* 'Aishiteru' is 'I love you' in Japanese.