The Fight Of Life

by Dark Lardy of Griffindor

A brief glance at life after Hogwarts for the marauders.

Author: loveyoudeath
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. I do not own Harry Potter, its characters, or anything associated with it. I'm not making any money from this story, and I don't intend to.
Summary: A brief glance at life after Hogwarts for the marauders.

I always felt closer to Lily than to any of the other marauders. Yeah, she and James were in love, but I was her best friend and confidant. I was sensible and she trusted me completely, our relationship had deepened over hours of essays and studying in the Library.

Lily is my best friend
She makes me my tea
She let's me stay around her place
When there's nowhere else to be

After school, we went our different ways we were no longer The Marauders. Peter had somehow become the ringleader of his own little gang of rats and James was a workaholic constantly at the Ministry, getting a career as an incomparable Auror. Me and Sirius stayed true to ourselves, Sirius being in the balance of getting fired and laid, while I went around minding my own business, trying to find any sort of work.

There's nothing in her bedroom
Just a bed and a TV
And it's okay if I'm in her way
I just sit and drink my tea

Sirius and I got closer, living off each over. Me, his money and him, my sanity. Sirius got pissed a lot and I'm sure he was pretty fucked up, but that was his business, like how he never mentioned my rare jobs. Sirius kept the mood cheerful and light, which saved me. But I only to Lily could I pour out my woes, Sirius wasn't serious enough, the only reason he kept his job was because he slept with his boss and many other numerous important people. Lily let me go to her house whenever I had nothing else to do, she was surprised at how often I had nothing to do which was sadly every day. But I think she secretly enjoyed the company.

I'm so lonely
I ain't done much lately
When you come looking
You'll find me sleeping soundly
Lily

I often spent whole days alone, reading and studying, I probably learnt more than I had done the whole time at Hogwarts. I soon even became so conceited in my magical abilities and strength that I began inventing my own illegal spells. I would often show off to Lily or make her give me challenges that I could always complete with startling ease. Lily even persuaded James to have a little study where volumes of my spells were stored, safe out of Sirius' reach. I enjoyed showing off to Lily, it was one of the very few that I had a talent for. I pushed myself to knew boundaries, often at Lily's expensive.

Lily keeps me smiling
Even when I'm down
She let's me stay around her place
When there's no-one else around

Slowly I got more and more depressed wrapped up in the whole war, unemployment and werewolfness. Sirius did his unexpected best, and every now and again brought me back a girl or substance I knew not to ask the name of. I soon started spending my days with Lily who was lonely with an absent James; we just hanged around often not uttering a word to each other for hours. But my nights were a blur; Sirius who knew absolutely everyone got me a job at a hip muggle/wizard club. I worked a nine to two shift, which I spent in tight leather trousers, getting pissed and groped at. It was a good way to drown away my sorrows with booze and unknown pills, with an added bonus of money.

There's nothing in her bedroom
Just a bed and a TV
And it's okay if I'm in her way
I sit and drink my tea

I didn't tell Lily about my job and how I spent most of the money I earned there and then. But I no longer wore patched up robes and I paid some of the bills. In all I got closer to Sirius and Lily, but James was another story. One evening he confronted me with his fears. He thought I was too close Lily and he thought I was 'shacking up' with her; I couldn't help it I burst right out laughing. This seemed to please James because it was a totally spontaneous reaction that couldn't be faked.

I think Lily enjoyed my new found happiness. It was a change to my bleary past self. Even if I spent most my time talking rubbish, my spells become more extravagant and complicated. The main thing she acknowledged was that I consistently drank. Liquor, vodka, champagne. Whatever came to hand. I mainly drank just enough to stop the shakes. It was a year before things really got of hand.

I'm so lazy
I ain't done much lately
When you come looking
You'll find me sleeping soundly

My life style soon became an addiction. One morning I woke up realising I couldn't think of a single thing I had done at work. I sat up, my sick was sticking to my t-shirt and I was lying in Sirius' bed. He later told me that I must have had a dangerous trip and he had found me like that on a doorway. The blackout wasn't knew, it was the aftermath. I couldn't remember the whole day before, the days were blurring together into nothing.

I went crying back to Lily. As I confessed I swear I saw a flicker of jealously flash in her emerald eyes that was gone when she realised how it was affecting me. She said I should quit my job because it would be easier to give up if the temptation was gone. But I was lost in the allure of the money, so I went crawling back the next day.

And when she comes around
She says I always look so down
And yeah, she's always right
She makes me feel alright

I woke up the next morning in a similar way, but with Sirius in bed with me. I just lay there thinking of my life, when he woke up and said we are pretty fucked up aren't we. Sadly it was the truth. Trudging back to Lily I felt stupid, but she was like just another chemical calling to me take her. She took one look at me and broke out laughing. She said I'm 20 engaged in a boring conservative marriage that I swore I would never have, while to you it is a dream, your to busy lost in your own little whirl. Sometimes I wish I had social life like you, but in the mornings, you do look like hell.

I'm so lazy,
I ain't done much lately
When you come looking
You'll find me sleeping soundly
Lily

Lily did that for me for a fortnight. By the end I was pretty straight, and took to sipping just enough vodka to stop me shaking. Sirius was impressed by me, though it was just the heavy stuff I gave up though, I still drank tons, not so strong, but a significant amount. I carried on smoking cigarettes and weed; I still needed something to calm me down. I was the first person Lily told she was pregnant to, even James. I was the man in her life, even if we were too close to be in love.

But as the war went on longer Sirius became more serious when he finally became a proper Auror, but it was Lily who was mainly changed by it. Constantly worrying about James, and even more when Deatheaters started attacking peoples homes. She lost herself in Harry, when James was away on nightshifts; she began to lose herself in me too. Not in love, but as a regular need like food. When she went under the Fidelius Charm, she only could see me once a fortnight, twice if lucky. In the last month of her life she spent the most time with James she had ever had, and realised that she needed Remus.

Fin

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