AN- Okay, so this is a songfic. Shadowgin told me to write one, so this is my first time- thanks Shadowgin. The character's name is based on my penname, so… Anyways, here it is!
I need you
I stood in front of the room, doing nothing, and not knowing what to do. It has been so long, so long that I had succeeded in burying his face deep beneath my thoughts, ignoring the occasional pain of thinking about him. It has been too long, but I still haven't forgiven him, and will never forgive him. Never… but I still hesitated when I thought about swearing about it. "Baby, baby, I swear to you… I'll never forgive you."
I was fighting back tears. I felt so alone, so exposed in front of the class, 'welcoming' the unexpected visit. "Ice, the visitor is waiting." The teacher said nervously. But the visitor just waved a hand to show that it was okay to wait.
I stubbornly turned away. I knew that I hurt him, but I didn't care. After all these years, he deserved the pain- it wasn't even half the pain I felt. After an uncomfortable silence, he finally spoke, the class let out a sigh in relief, and the atmosphere was still as tense as ever, "Baby, baby, I swear to you. Baby, baby I'm here for you."
I refused to look up. What did he have left to swear for? He came back because he had nothing. Why did I even care if he was here or not? Then why don't I have the courage to look up and shout at him, tell him what he had done? How he hurt us, how Mom and Dad had despaired? It was because I cared for him. No! I shook my head- I don't care for him. It's because I knew that my silence would hurt him more, I thought.
I don't know why
Why I did those things to you
What went through my mind
And I don't know why
Why I broke your heart in two
Guess that I was blind
Baby, how I wish you could forgive me
Just one more time, baby
I knew those were the words that he was dying to say, but I wouldn't give in. It has been too long. I finally looked up, and I saw the hope enter his eyes. I glared at him, and the hope faded a little. "Why did you come back?" I asked; anger expressed in every word. He looked hurt. My heart softened a little. But I was still hurt. The past few years would never go away; they'll haunt me forever. He spoke again, his pain obvious in his words.
And I swear
I'll be there
Anytime you want me to
I'll be true
Here for you
Don't leave me lonely
'Cause I need you
Yes, I've been a fool
Now I see the price to pay
I can't run and hide
'Cause I'm losing you
And my chances slipped away
With each time I lied
Baby, how I wish you could forgive me
One more time
Tears started pouring down my face. He walked over and hugged me tightly. I gave in; I rest my head on the crook of his neck, sobbing hysterically. When I got my tears under control, I stood up and punched him hard in the ribs. He looked surprised. "Why? Why did you do that to me of all people? I thought you were the only person who cared, and then you left me. Why?" I was practically screaming now.
"I'm sorry, you know I am. I told you, I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry." He didn't know what to say.
"Your not coming back, right? I don't care, your not part of the family any more, and I want it to stay that way." I shouted, hurt and pain showing in my eyes. My face was burning, but I didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore, the only thing that I wanted was for him to come back, but I wouldn't let him see that I was letting in so easily; I need to make it hard for him, to make us equal, to let him know how much it hurt me in the past few years.
He took a step forward, attempting to pull me into his embrace once again. I pushed him away- it stirred painful memories.
Baby, living without you
Will tear me apart
When I know how it could have been
But I don't care what it leads to
Let's make a new start
And give love a chance to win
'Cause, baby, I swear
Baby, baby, I swear to you
Anytime you want me to
Baby, baby, I'm here for you
Don't leave me lonely, 'cause I need you
"I needed you, why?" I said in barely a whisper.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know what got into me then. Please forgive me. I'm your brother, of course I care." He said.
"Brothers don't go away when there is a fire. Brothers come back when they know that the family escaped the fire. Brothers care and prove it with their actions, not only with words."
His only reply was to sigh, " I want to come back," He said simply.
"Now you need me?" I asked.
"Yes, baby, I need you."
