Hair, Horses, Dancing and Battles

When their first trip to Narnia ended, each Pevensie had a breakdown.

The tension in the air after they first tumbled from the wardrobe felt by everyone in the house was thick. The Professor could relate somewhat, but he had only spent a few days in Narnia. The Pevensies had lived half their lives in the world.

Susan was the first. She found herself clashing with Mrs Macready. Her mind still looked to the future to parties, galas and dances that she would no longer attend. When setting up for dinner, she'd place the plates, knives, forks, spoons and napkins in the traditional Narnia way. This caused Mrs Macready to rave at her about having to set them up all over again. On those nights, Peter would be there to hold her as she ranted about how everything was different, how she could not survive here.

The last straw came one morning as they were going to the fields. She sat in front of the mirror braiding her hair as she used to do in Narnia when they went riding. Her fingers remembered the moves, even if her mind was forgetting them. It was peaceful, and for a moment, she was in Narnia.

She could feel the breeze coming off the ocean, the smell filling her room. Off in the distance, she could hear one of her maids cleaning down the hallway, the laughter of children down the…

Wait, something was wrong. She opened her eyes. Her hair wasn't long enough. The braid wouldn't work.

The breeze she could feel was coming from the window of her room, but instead of the ocean, it was the forest air. The person in the hallway was Mrs Macready, rushing about in preparation for her next tourists. The laughter was of children down the hall, but it was her own siblings.

Her fingers froze in her hair, much shorter than it should be.

Her siblings rushed into the room, laughing and smiling, until they saw their sister sitting in front of the mirror. Taking in her frozen face, tears welling in her eyes, and hands still tangled within her half-braided hair, Lucy ran to her and wrapped her too small arms around her. Edmund and Peter joined the sisters as Susan cried into their shoulders. When Mrs Macready found them, the three youngest had fallen asleep and Peter was watching them fondly.

…

Edmund broke down in the fields. The professor had a few horses that had been the foals of the foals of the horses that had been here when he first moved to the estate. Edmund was ecstatic and begged his older siblings to let him ride. Remembering how well Edmund had taken to horses in Narnia, they agreed, on the sole condition that he wear a helmet and choose a tamer horse.

So here Edmund stood, in front of the tamest horse his siblings could find, with a dreaded helmet on his head. Oh, if they saw him now! King Edmund, the champion rider, with a helmet. He huffed in indignation, before skilfully mounting the horse. Adjusting his weight accordingly, he urged the horse into a trot. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Peter standing close, his arms crossed and his face set. Edmund rolled his eyes at his older brother before urging the horse to go faster.

Soon, he was in a different world. A different world where he could roam free. A different world where he was a king, a world where he changed.

The wind swept through his hair, the adrenaline from riding a familiar feeling within his veins. He could feel the horse's strong muscles, pushing from the ground into a gallop. Vaguely he could hear Peter shout, probably complaining about how Edmund was now in the lead.

"What do you say, Phillip? Shall we go faster?"

He waited a breath, and then another, before finally opening his eyes and seeing that the horse he was riding wasn't Phillip, his most trusted steed and companion. The realisation hit him like a tonne of bricks, and he suddenly pulled the horse to a stop.

He could hear Peter running to him as he dismounted. "Edmund, that was stupid. You could have been hurt!"

He turned to Peter, a lump in his throat. "I don't think I want to ride anymore."

Peter saw the hurt in his eyes and wrapped an arm around the younger boy as they led the horse back to the stables.

…

Lucy broke just as suddenly and unexpectedly as her two older siblings. It was another rainy day at the Professor's house, a day just like one 15 years ago, or maybe just a few weeks ago. The four siblings chose to sit in a room and listen to the radio.

Lucy looked out into the grey sky. Rainy days in England were much worse than in Narnia. She didn't know that rain could be beautiful until she saw her first Narnian storm.

The youngest Pevensie perked up from beside the window as she heard a break from the war news. A lively tune was blaring across the room, a tune that reminded her of Narnia. A grin split across her face as she jumped up from her seat, twirling around the room.

She twirled in the small space, not minding that she couldn't move around much. She danced to music that wasn't there, with people who weren't there, and in a dress that would be much too big for her now.

The fauns took turns holding her hands, and the nymphs spun in circles with her. The magical sounds coming from the orchestra were none heard ever before, a new song for a new day. Her shoes clicked on the stone floor, her dress flared out, her hair spilled over her shoulders.

She moved to a new place to dance with a new partner when her knees buckled over a table and she was sent sprawling to the ground.

There were no fauns, and no nymphs. There was no orchestra, only a radio in the corner of the room. She was in a plain grey dress instead of her beautiful red and pink gown, and her hair was once again barely past her chin.

She felt strong arms around her as she started sobbing, grieving for people that watched her grow up, and who grew up with her. Two more pairs of arms closed around her, a needed comfort for the young girl.

…

The three youngest Pevensies were anxious for Peter to break. He was trying to be tough, to be there for the three of them. He was there for each of their own breaks, and they wanted to be there for him, but Peter pushed them away.

He broke during the night.

The night, where he was most vulnerable. Where nightmares came and tormented him for hours. He allowed very few people to see him asleep. Only his siblings and Orieus were ever allowed to wake him up.

Tossing and turning, Peter relived a battle from ages ago, when he was older, and taller and respected. Rhindon held firmly at his side, he searched for his brother, who he had lost sight of while fighting. Fear gripped his heart as he continued his frantic quest. He had never been so distracted in battle, caught in-between bodies, blood and blades.

A dark figure came into view, and Peter let out a strangled cry as he realised who was lying on the field.

A cry left his mouth, and he woke, panting, with that same dark figure leaning over him. "Edmund!"

His brother let out his own cry as he was pulled into a tight hug. "It's okay, Pete. It's alright."

"No, I lost you, I did!"

"No, Pete, I'm safe. We're in England, and we're safe."

Peter's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "England?"

"Oh no." Edmund whispered. This, this is where Peter broke. "Yeah, England Peter, we're in England."

Peter shook his head fiercely. "No, we can't be in England. Narnia needs us, Ed they need me!" He shot up, trying to run. He knew he couldn't run to Narnia, but he had hoped that this time the wardrobe would work.

"It's not going to work Pete, we've tried." And with those words, Peter collapsed to the ground.

Edmund held him as he cried, the only person he would ever let see him cry. He had been so strong for too long, trying to be there for his siblings, that he forgot that he himself needed a break. He needed to let this all out, all his pent-up anger and frustration and misery.

And then, in the morning, even though neither boy mentioned what happened, Lucy and Susan came and wrapped their arms around the two, sharing the burden of their sorrow. And together, they walked into the dining hall, ready for anything the world decided to throw at them.