January 3rd, Tuesday

Bella was wearing a god-awful sweater today. She was picking up her mail in those little red shorts (ref. Monday before last, 'Ode to Red Shorts') and this big, multicoloured, woollen monstrosity. It completely hides her arms, and her stomach…and her chest… Not good.

I think her mom gave it to her for Christmas. Her mother has been known to get her some rather choice gifts, like on Bella's last birthday when she bought her that yoga ball (ref. September 13th, '15 Things I Could Have Seen Bella Do on That Yoga Ball.') It was in the trash the next day with more than one golf ball-sized puncture in it. Looked like she'd really gone at it.

Begs the question, why is Bella wearing the sweater?

Now that I think about it though, she did look kind of cute swallowed up by all that fuzzy wool…

Note: Must examine wool fetish.

January 11th, Wednesday

Bella's dad visited today. Wasn't looking too good. I wonder whether this has to do with the fact that Bella hasn't taken off that goddamn sweater since she got it. She even wore it to bed the other night (ref. last Sunday, 'Wishing to Be a Sweater.')

She's looking thinner, paler too. Her mom hasn't visited in a while. Might be to do with the divorce her parents were going to get a year and a half ago. She never told me why they didn't go through with it.

Her dad looked like he'd been crying when he left her house. Bella's eyes were pink, too.

I don't like seeing her sad.

January 15th, Sunday

Bella came over today to ask me to look after her prize sunflowers while she goes out of town for a little while. I told her she'd be better off leaving the job to Mrs Matheson across the road, but Bella didn't believe that the old woman wouldn't sabotage her flowers again (ref. May 8th, 'The Begonia Incident.')

She told me it was important. Her eyes and nose were red. I know she didn't get much sleep last night. Her kitchen light was on all night. She likes to drown her sorrows in a pint of B&J at her breakfast counter when she's upset.

She wouldn't tell me how long she'd be gone. I didn't push too hard.

She showed me where her hose was (not that I didn't already know from my east-facing window that overlooks her back yard) and informed me that the sunflowers liked conversation. She told me to make it racy, that they like gossip.

Bella makes me smile.

Time is going to pass so slowly while she's gone.

January 30th, Monday

She got back late last night. There's a new ornament on her mantle.

I think her mom died.

February 5th, Sunday

Bella ventured out of the house for the first time today. She knocked on my door.

She was wearing her sweater and shorts and she had a plate of my favourite chocolate mint cookies for me. She'd been on one of her baking jags. She likes to cook when something goes wrong (ref. June 9th, 'The Giant Chocolate Cake Exchange of '07.')

I accepted them and invited her in. She sat in the corner of my couch like she does on her own one, all curled up and sort of…adorable.

I offered her coffee. She broke down.

She told me her mom had been sick for a while but Renee had just waved it off and gone on some spiritual hike instead of seeing a doctor when she got worse. She'd had Stage 4 lung cancer. By the time Bella's dad had convinced Renee to go to hospital, it was too late.

After our talk Bella fell asleep with cookie crumbs on her face. I had to rush out of the room and do the dishes before I sat and watched her until she woke up. She left with a tiny smile on her face around five.

Note: Must examine cookie crumb fetish.

February 20th, Monday

Jake arrived today on his yellow Ducati. Bella leapt at him as soon as she was out of the front door and kissed him. He swept her back inside like something straight out of a movie.

Will now drown sorrows in the last of cookies and listen to forever alone music.

February 24th, Friday

Am drunk. Hate Jake. They haven't left the house in days. Puked in sink.

March 3rd, Saturday

Jake left Bella's today on his Ducati, probably gone for good. (Hopefully.) Bella seems happier. Can't fault him for helping her, even if I do want to rip his eyes out and stomp on them (ref. May 12th, #37 of '101 Ways to Kill/Maim Jacob Black and Not Spend Time in Jail.')

She was wearing tight blue jeans and an old Ramones t-shirt when Jake rode off. Choked on my cereal. Those jeans ought to be illegal…or at least everyone blind from seeing her in them but me.

March 25th, Sunday

She brought a guy back. They had sex all night. Had to close my curtains and turn on my hi-fi. How can I hear through detached walls?

March 26th, Monday

Found Bella's guy ass-up in my front yard this morning. Apparently, according to what I could catch still-drunkenly being said into my grass, Bella had thrown him out first thing. She was drunk, he said, and easy.

I called the cops and told them he'd solicited me, before passing out, instead of calling a cab and sending him on his way like I was going to. Asshole.

March 28th, Wednesday – Alice, 27.

I'm taking Alice out to Franco's tonight for dinner. She asked about Bella on the phone, and, well, Alice, she wheedles – she really wheedles – until I'm telling her everything and she's scolding me for not talking to her sooner and asking her advice on how to get Bella.

I told her I've lived next to the girl for four years – if anything was going to happen, it would've.

She told me to zip it. She wants to be friends with her. Alice got Bella's home number out of me and, from what I can see of Bella's kitchen, they've been talking for hours.

Why do younger sisters always seem to get their own way with everything? (Ref. Alice and Rose, every single day of their lives.)

Note: Look into this.

March 29th, Thursday

Dinner last night was nice. More than nice. Actually, dinner was…dinner was the best time in a very long time. No, it was the greatest thing. Ever.

Alice was her usual self which meant that Bella was under her spell in five seconds flat, and then about halfway through dinner Alice mentions to Bella that I illustrate from home. I have never told Bella this.

Her eyes, which were already, you know, beautiful, went wide and she asked me if she could see my stuff. The noise that then came out of my mouth wasn't manly in the least but Alice covered it up by announcing she was going to the bathroom.

And then Bella turned those eyes back on me and waited for an answer, and I told her yes. And then she followed that up by saying that tonight was as good as any night. Which I replied to by saying that it was and as soon as Alice was ready to go, I'd give her a ride home and then Bella could come round. I was terrified.

Alice had gotten back from the bathroom and said she'd had a call from Jasper, her boyfriend, who she proceeded to reel off about for ten minutes to Bella before saying he was going to pick her up in five and take her back to his, so we were free to leave.

I have to give it to the little witch, she knew what she was doing. I told her so when I kissed her on the cheek outside the restaurant. She just smiled.

So I took Bella home, offered her a drink, and opened the door to my little sanctuary. (Thank Christ I'd put away my sketch books dedicated to her a few hours before.)

I told her I did paintings and book covers, posters, advertising, that kind of thing, and she actually seemed interested. And then she told me she was writing a book.

She said Jake had helped her with the back-story, based on her mom's colorful life, and that it was all about her mom really, she was just a woman named Abby who decided to do all the things her mom had done but to live what was left of her life instead of ignoring the illness completely.

She asked me to illustrate the cover for her. I said yes, stunned. And then all these other things started coming out from her as she looked at a framed tiger lily watercolour on the wall.

She said she'd tried to take that message to heart, about living her life to the full, and that she'd done things she would have never done before and gone out places she'd never been, but when she'd picked up that guy and had sex with him that she realised she was going about it all wrong. She was doing things that made her mom happy, and she realised that she wasn't her mom and she wasn't ill and she should just…relax a bit. Do what made her happy, but never pass up an opportunity that she might not have taken before, because life is short.

I just nodded and listened, and then she turned to me and told me she'd found an opportunity that she hadn't taken before and that she knew she should have, but hopefully the window was still open.

And, I have to admit, I had no idea what she was talking about, and I was just thinking 'I hope she doesn't move house… I hope she stays just where she is…' She sort of looked up at me like I wasn't getting it – which I wasn't – and then she kissed me. On the mouth.

It lasted, and lasted, and all I could think about was her lips, and how I'd looked at those lips and dreamt about kissing them and, and…and…

And then she stepped back and looked up at me, and she'd smiled and asked me in that shy, low voice if I was going to write about her kiss in my diary.

Alice received a threatening voicemail this morning about spilling secrets and about what I could tell mom, (ref. December 14th, 'Alice's First Dress-Up Fiasco' AKA. 'The Short Life of Mom's Best Silk Blouse.') Bella told me it wasn't really fair considering if Alice hadn't told Bella about my, quote, "undying love" she would never have realised that, actually, she had a bit of a thing for me too.

Which, I suppose – as I told her under the sheets in my bed and then in the kitchen over pancakes – is a fair point, and it would go down in my diary.

Edward,

My mom gave me a spare yoga ball a week after,

and I can do more than fifteen things on it.

Especially in my red shorts.

Love,

Bella.

P.s. I put more of my mint choc cookies in the jar on your counter.

Author's Note: My first foray into B/E territory - kinda cutesy but I love it! (: Thanks for reading!