It all happened so fast. I had fallen in love with "a psychotic clown" and now I'm sharing a cell with Poison Ivy in Arkham Asylum. They think my Mistah J is crazy, but he's clearly just misunderstood. I broke him out because I love him and he doesn't belong here. He said he'll come back for me and I know he will. I know he will……….

"You're Harleen, right?"

"It's Harley", I reply, slightly annoyed, "call me Harley".

"Interesting name. I like it. My name's Pamela, but you can call me Ivy".

I nervously turned around on my cot so that I was facing her. She was standing in the corner of the cell with a bored look on her face. Her skin was pale and had a green tint to it. She was shockingly beautiful and I felt slightly jealous. "Sure. Ivy".

Ivy leaned back against the wall and smiled. "So……you let the clown loose, huh?"

"He's a human being, just like everybody else. A HUMAN BEING," I replied angrily.

"I'm taking that as a yes then".

She was still smiling and staring at me like she was fascinated by something. "So….uh- what do you guys do for fun around here?" I asked, bored.

Ivy giggled and replied, "Sorry, I just love your accent. Haven't heard anything like that in ages".

"Thanks……I guess. So?"

"Oh- uh……..nothing really. This place kind of sucks. We have a recreation room though".

I sighed and turned away. "I want OUT".

"Well, duh. Don't we all?" Ivy replied, her smile fading, "don't worry. Getting out of here is a piece of cake".

The thought of cake made my stomach rumble and I sighed, standing up. "When do we- uh- eat?"

Ivy's smile returned as she replied, "Hungry, huh? I don't think you'll want what they're serving. Trust me".

"I'm starving. Do you really think I give a shit?"

"We eat in an hour".

I nodded and sank back onto my cot. "What psychiatrist were you assigned to, by the way?"

"Heh. Dr. Crane. They actually gave him his job back. Haven't seen him yet though and it's been a week since I've been here".

"Same here. It's funny because I even treated him for a while. Talk about irony".

"Ya. Irony. It happens", Ivy said as her smile faded again, "I almost forgot that you used to work here…..you don't look like much of a psychiatrist to me".

This made me angry, but I tried my best not to show it. "Well, it doesn't really matter anymore, does it?"

Ivy shook her head and smiled. "Welcome to a world of crime, Harley Quinn".

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An hour later, me and my "roommate" were waiting in line for lunch in the asylum's cafeteria. They piled something that resembled meat on my plate and I gave the cook a disgusted look. "No special treatment for you- Dr. Quinzel", she said mockingly. I sneered and decided to wait for Ivy.

"I'm not eating that", I heard her say, "no meat. Or would you like to be responsible for starving me to death?" Ivy looked over at the guard and smiled. He looked really nervous and he told the cook to give her a salad.

Ivy walked over to me and winked. I forced a smile. We slowly made our way to a deserted table and sat down. She was across from me, a smile still plastered to her face. "So........you're a vegetarian, huh?" I asked nervously.

"You aren't?" Ivy replied as she eyed the stack of "meat" on my plate. I shook my head and stared at the pile of mystery "meat" in front of me.

"I would rather have what you're having though", I mumbled, a grimace forming on my face. Ivy smiled and looked down at her salad. The rest of our lunch hour was spent eating. Well, Ivy was eating anyway. I, on the other hand, was daydreaming and playing with my food. When I started humming circus tunes, Ivy looked up and stared at me.

"You. Are. Obsessed", she said in monotone.

"Am not", I hissed back, "I'm. In. Love".

She continued to stare at me and then finally looked away. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into", Ivy whispered, "trust me". With that, she got up and left the table. What did she mean? Did she actually have SOMETHING with MY Mistah J! I finally got up and waited for a guard to "escort" me back to my cell.

"Finished?", one of them asked as he walked up to me.

"Yes", I said, already thinking of what I was going to say to Ivy.

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The guard shoved me into the cell and locked the door behind me. I looked at him through the protective Plexiglas and gave him the finger. He grinned and walked away. What a jackass. I slowly turned around and noticed that Ivy was standing in the corner again. "So.......", I managed to say, "you've slept with him?"

She looked up at me with a disgusted look on her face and replied, "Fuck no".

I stared at her. "Oh, really? Then what the hell did you mean, huh?"

I meant that I didn't want you to get hurt. Like I did........", Ivy replied sadly, "I fell in "love" with a guy once. He used me and that's-that's why I'm like this".

I instantly stopped staring at her and looked away. "Geez, I didn't mean-I'm sor-"

"I know. It's fine", she interrupted.

I sat down on my cot and sighed. Nice going, hothead. "Do they let us read? Play cards? Anything?" I was trying to change the subject.

"Only if you've been good. I'll doubt they'll let you play cards though........"

I was about to ask why, but I figured it had to do with Mistah J. "Oh......okay".

"We get to take showers at 9:00". Ivy was smiling again. Thank god.

I glanced around, looking for a clock. "Uh.....what-"

"Don't have clocks. They think it gives us ideas", she interrupted again as she rolled her eyes.

I laughed and shifted on my cot impatiently. "This place sucks".

"Ya, I know. Tell me about it".

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