Three Marauders and A Baby

Lily Evans Potter grabbed her son's shirt and pulled it over his black-topped head.

"Lily, honey, what are you doing?" Her husband asked from the doorway to their son's room.

"Taking Harry shopping with me," she told him.

"Why? I'll watch him. Isn't that right, buddy?" This last was directed at the one-year-old. Harry giggled and held up his arms in a "pick me up" gesture to his father, who complied happily.

Lily took a moment to study the tableau they presented: father and son, both with uncontrollable black hair. It was obvious that Harry adored his father as James laughed and tickled his son. Still…

"No," she said, watching them, "you cannot watch him."

"Aww," James complained, "Why not?" Both father and son looked at her with the same pitiful look on their face.

"Because I remember the last time I let you watch Harry alone. It took me an hour to get those stains off of the wall." Lily answered resolutely.

"Ah-ha!" James exclaimed, "But this time I have help!"

The doorbell rang almost on cue. James had the same mischievous glint in his eye that Lily remembered from Hogwarts. It usually showed up in his eyes just before a prank.

"I'll get it," she said warily. She was smiling as she opened the door. She got a good look at their visitors and her smile vanished.

"No. Absolutely not."

"Nice to see you too, Lils," Sirius Black said as he grinned at her from the doorway.

"Hello Lily," Remus Lupin said from behind him.

"Pa-foot! Mooey!" Harry's gleeful shriek sounded in the room as James walked in holding him.

"Harry, my puppy!" Sirius shimmied his way past Lily to grab Harry from James and mock-toss him into the air. Harry yelled and laughed as his godfather poked his fingers into the little boy's ribs.

"No tillkle Pa-foot!" Harry shrieked, pushing at Sirius's hands, "Mooey no tillkle!"

"Stop torturing the poor boy, Padfoot," Remus said, pulling Harry onto his own lap, "Let me do it!"

Harry screamed with laughter as Remus tickled him mercilessly.

Unfortunately for Lily the sight was wearing down her resolve.

"Please can he stay, Lily?" James pleaded as Lily saved Harry from Remus.

"Yeah Lily, please?" Remus asked.

Sirius transformed into Padfoot and looked at her hopefully, whining and letting his tale hit the floor once or twice desolately.

"Pease Mama?" Harry reached up to tug a piece of her hair gently.

Oh, you're too little, she thought at her son, you don't even know what we're saying. And you tug my heartstrings like you tug my hair, little one.

Lily heaved a great sigh. "Fine, fine."

James and Remus whooped. Sirius chased his tail in circles until he got dizzy enough to fall down. Harry giggled and clapped his hands.

"I hope we know what we're doing," Remus said ten minutes later as James kissed Lily and she closed the door behind her.

Sirius clapped him on the back. "Of course we do, Moony old chap. And if we don't, she'll only be gone a few hours, what's the worst that could happen?"

Twenty Minutes Later

"Mr. Moony would like to inform Mr. Padfoot that he is no longer allowed to ask 'what's the worst that could happen'." Remus said dryly over the noise of Harry's wails.

Dry cereal was strewn all over the floor. Harry was standing in his diaper on his high-chair with his hands in fists and was shrieking at the top of his lungs. James had a black eye from where he'd run into a door following Harry trying to get the little boy to put his pants back on. Remus was drenched in milk.

And Sirius was just traumatized.

"There's nothing wrong with him!" James said loudly as Harry yelled in time with banging his sippy cup against the wall. "He's not hungry or thirsty or tired."

Remus had a stroke of inspiration. Wizard's do that sometimes. Even Muggle men have been known to manage it. He made a statement.

"Maybe he's wet."

James and Sirius looked at each other like this honestly had never occurred to them. James grinned suddenly.

"Great, great idea Moony. Who's going to help me change his nappy?" James asked.

Sirius and Remus glanced at each other and simultaneously took a step back.

"Traitors!" James yelled.

Hesitantly he went forward to his son and stretched out the back of his nappy. He made a face as he glanced down. "Yes, definitely needs to be changed."

Harry - seemingly sensing that his dense father, godfather, and sort-of-uncle had gotten the picture - quieted immediately as James lifted him up.

"There's just one problem," James said as he lay Harry down on the changing table.

"What?" Sirius asked cheerfully.

"I don't know how to change diapers."

Two minutes of complete silence, then -

"WHAT!"

Remus looked at James in shock. "Prongs, Harry is a year old. How in Merlin's name could you not have changed his diaper in a year?"

"Lily always did it!" James said defensively, then added as Moony came over to help, "I can do it, though! I don't need help!"

Remus stepped back to watch in amusement.

It took James five minutes to realize how to get the darn thing off. Eventually Sirius had come over to help and together they unfastened it. Then together they stepped back.

"Whoa!" Sirius yelled, wiping his hand across his eyes, "Harry, pup, what did you eat?!"

"It's alright!" James said, waving Remus off as he tried to help again, "We can do it!"

James studied his son for a moment.

"We need to clean him," Sirius said unhelpfully after disposing of the used diaper like it was toxic waste.

"I know, Padfoot."

"Because he's not clean."

"I know, Padfoot."

"So maybe we should get to cleaning him."

"I KNOW, PADFOOT!"

"Pssh, sorry. Just trying to help." Sirius scowled at James. Then his face lit up. "I have an idea!"

James gave him a sidelong glance, "That's what you always used to say right before we got detention."

"No, this is going to work!" Sirius said.

"No," Remus said blandly, "That's what he always said right before we got detention."

Sirius glared at them both. Then he had James pick Harry up by the armpits and pointed his wand at the boy's bare butt and said "Aguamenti!" A stream of continuous water came out of his wand to spray on Harry's butt.

"Perfect, Padfoot!" James said, and began twisting the boy to wash off his butt more. Harry looked less than pleased at the situation.

Remus bit his lip almost to the point of bleeding to keep from laughing at his best friends. Then he sighed.

"James, give me Harry before you kill him," he said.

James glared at him. "Stop sounding like my wife, Moony!"

"Yeah! Stop sounding like his wife, Moony!"

Remus just rolled his eyes, reached over, and took Harry from James. He made quick work of using the wipes and fitted a new diaper on neatly before tugging on Harry's pants again. A few moments later saw him holding the content baby in his arms.

James and Sirius were staring at him. Remus answered their unspoken question.

"I actually pay attention to Lily when she talks. I know it's a foreign concept to you two," he said blandly.

Harry squirmed to be put down and Remus let him. The youngest Potter immediately took off down the hall, using the wall for support as walking was still a relatively new experience for him.

A crash indicated Harry had gotten into the pantry and soon the whole kitchen was filled with flour as James and Sirius tripped, ripped, and threw in retaliation.

Lily pulled up into the driveway two hours after she left. She popped the trunk and grabbed the few bags of groceries she could, leaving the rest to delegate to her husband to bring in. She fumbled for her keys and fitted them into the lock, praying to every deity she knew her son was still in one piece and her house looked the same as when she left.

She swung the door open with more than a little bit of anxiety.

To a clean house. A clean house and a happy son in his playpen fully absorbed in a colorful toy that clacked when he turned it over. A clean house, a happy son, and three grown men sprawled asleep in various positions in her living room.

Remus was actually asleep in Harry's pen and had been for some time given the amount of toys her son had thrown over him. Sirius was in dog form in a beam of sun, snoring lustily. Her husband was on his chair, his mouth hanging open.

Chuckling, she picked up Harry (who hugged her happily) and put her groceries away. She'd wake them up in a few minutes to bring in the groceries. For now she'd let them sleep for a little while. And she'd pretend not to notice the flour in their hair and James's wand sticking out of his pocket…