Okay, so this story was born from a roleplay. It actualy is the roleplay except i copied it to word and changed the usernames we had to France and Turkey. I am France and my friend is Turkey. here's some backround info though incase you were wondering exactly why Turkey is at France's house :So on a post in out hetalia group on facebook we were all commenting, then it became boring and people stopped commenting so i thought 'hey, why not make france pregnant' so I chose turkey because i thought it would be interesting. so then we go through the whole ordeal of argueing how france got pregnant and then some stuff happened (everyone just baisicly went to the bar and the awesome part is that the bar serves nonalchoholic beverages that taste like alchohal we also went to japans house to steal his porn~) and then turkey came over to france's house. that's the baisic information. If you want to know something more specific then message me.
France: Turkey, I'm bored
Turkey: ...what do you want me to do about it...? xP
France: Entertain me?
Turkey: what makes you think I'll do that...?
France: (Bitch, just entertain me - was thinking of putting that) because I carry your child o.e I don't know, just please? ~_~
Turkey: (Lolz Turkey would have probably bitch slapped you) *sigh* fine...
France: (yup, but you know... I'd probably end up liking it ;D) yay! ^_^
Turkey: (Hmmm shall we test that theory ...? :D) *facepalm* so what do you want me to do?
France: (sure XD idc :P) ...If I knew what to do to be entertained, would I ask you to entertain me?
Turkey: (Wonderful! *gets Turkey to slap you* well...?) -_- how about I knock your teeth in?
France: no! o_o (ah~)
Turkey:(Lol enjoyed it?) Damn... how about if I kicked you in the crotch?
France: (yes XD) no, that's not entertaining at all! It's just mean ;_;
Turkey: (Lol xD) oh...*shrugs* eh...
France: Turkey, you're a rather boring person arn't you?
Turkey: Aren't most people boring when they're bored
France: Well yes... so I guess you're bored as well?
Turkey: No, I'm bursting with joy and not-boredness -_-
France: XD nice, I think I know a way we can be entertained (somehow i have a feeling this is going to turn sexual and out of no where a random japan will just magically apear o.e)
Turkey: (Lolol I'm probably gonna show this to 'him' during school) *raises eyebrows even though its hidden behind the mask*
France: *sees mask lift up a little* I'll be back in a moment... *goes to room and pulls out trunk*
Turkey: I have a bad feeling about this ...
France: Oh? And why is that? *holds items behind back*
Turkey: *glares at whatever you're hiding* because this is you...
France: You're so mean Turkey! ;_;
Turkey: *lets creepy smile appear on face before tieing you up* but, I suppose you have a point XD
Turkey: *would facepalm if I could* -_- ... .life...
France: I should hang you up like a decoration... wonder what the others would say
Turkey: (Btw... Japan is watching us...from the vents. ._.) I swear to Allah once I get out of these, you'll be wishing you were never born!
France: (ok o.o) *stares at you* ...be glad I'm not doing somthing else
Turkey: (And apparently he has his computer with him cause he is constantly messaging said fact...) ...fuck you France ... AND NOT IN THAT WAY!
France: *laughs* you already did it that way anyways... hmm maybe i should get the toys though *thinks deeply about this* (heh... he would do that)
Turkey: (Lol ya he would ... ) *eye twitch* Toys? What is going through that sick mind of yours?
France: ...alot of stuff actualy... by the way *starts walking back to my bed room and rumages through trunk again* what should I cook for dinner?
Turkey: *mumbles* how about yourself ...?
France: okay one, that'd be painful and two it sounds sexual
Turkey: *would facepalm if I could* stop turning everything I say into something sexual!
France: it's not my fault, anyone except a child or Italy would think about it that way anyways *finds thing i'm looking for* FOUND IT!
Turkey: *glares* found what...?
France: oh, my dolpin ^_^ he's awesome, got him at sea world
Turkey: -_- ...France would you mind untieing me.. ?
France: yes, i mind it very much, you're a good decoration anyways *walks back over* see mr. blue? :D(dolphins name...)
Turkey: O.e France, untie me...
France: no; anyways, like i asked before, what the hell should I cook for dinner? *chucks mr. blue back in to the bedroom*
Turkey: How the hell should I know?
France: I don't know, because you're Turkey! That's a reason! You know what? We're fucking having soup then! o.e
Turkey: ...'we'?
France: yeah, I'm not letting you leave yet anyways ~_~
Turkey: -_- what exactly do you gain from this?
France: ...not really sure, company i guess
Turkey: *sigh* Maniak Deli...
France: Speak english...
Turkey: ...Retard...
France: -_-
Turkey: *snicker* you wanted me to say it in English
France: Sorry that I never get visitors -_- '
Turkey: Maybe if you were, well... less of a rapist?
France: think about this for a second, you can't just some how be born a pedo/rapist/pervert something happens that makes you those; isn't that correct?
Turkey: ...I suppose so... Is this going to turn out to be some kind of therapy session? Cause I warn you now, I am the LAST person you should be speaking to...
France: XD no, no therapy session :p
Turkey: *sigh* Thank Allah ...
France: oh, i see you don't like consoling others do you mask man?
Turkey: No, I don't... besides Japan ...
France: heh XD oh yeah...
Turkey: ...*sigh* considering I'm probably going to be here for a while, do you want to talk about this past event that made you a rapist ...?
France: And here i thought you didn't want to be a therapist
Turkey: I'm not, I just want to sit here and laugh at all your problems
France: heh, I don't really have problems
Turkey: ...-_- well aren't you special xP
France: mmm not really just positive i guess
Turkey: ... *sigh* you're weird ...
France: why yes, yes I am, so why do you wear a mask almost all the time?
Turkey: Uh, well... umm... hey look it's Mr. Blue!
France: ...Mr. blue can't just randomly swim out of rooms and tell me already
Turkey: (...during my research I found that Turkey and France ...and China ... were in a Gourmet Food Club together O.e but I have yet to find the real reason as to y he wears the mask... I may have to make one up... ) nooo reason...
France: (ah, that's fine :P ) There must be a reason otherwise you wouldn't be wearing it
Turkey: *sigh* I wear It as a sort of... protection
France: Oh, a protection of what? :O
Turkey: Well, without it I feel vulnerable ...
France: heh~ Turkey, you're less boring than I thought XD *takes your mask off and looks it over*
Turkey: (Lol I think it makes him seem smexier) *tries to cover face with my arms and realizes he can't**closes eyes instead* give it back France!
France: Come on open your eyes, it's good not to wear your mask everyonce in a while. Besides, if you don't open your eyes then how are you going to avoid me?
Turkey: ...Damn... fine, but NO comments! *slowly opens eyes*
France: *claps with a smile*
Turkey: (Consider it him being embarrassed of being exposed xD) *glares* shut up France xP
France: But I didn't say anything (heh)
Turkey: But you were thinking it! Ok, you have seen my face, now give me my mask back!
France: No~ it's nice to se yor face for once *throws mask somewhere in my room* so, what type of soup?
Turkey: ...*cursing you out in my mind* *sigh* i guess lintel is good...
-out of character- (wdf is lintel?)
-out of character- (lol its a type of bean...)
France: (oh...) okay then *walks in to kitchen and pulls out shiz to make it*
Turkey: (yep. i thought it was common O.o) *sits there wondering what to do* ... *whistles a turkish tune*
France: (...I don't really know soups :P) *does the soup making things*
Turkey: *looks around* *mumbles* for a rapist his house is pretty decent...
France: *laughs a little* ah, why thank you *adds linen beans in to the soup*
Turkey: (lol lintel... i dont think eating linen would be very good for your digestive system xD) -_- Its like you have the ears of a cat...
France: (yeah,,, XD) I think it's a good thing, besides what if someone like an old lady needs help and you have to have very good hearing to hear her?
Turkey: ... tell her to speak louder
France: ...the old lady talks quietly otherwise she hurts her throat o.e
Turkey: ...give her some medicine?
France: I don't have medicine really though ~_~
Turkey: but what if she was asking for medicine?
France: then I'd buy some and give it to her?
Turkey: and then her throat wont hurt anymore and she can speak louder
France: ...this is all theoretical you know
Turkey: i know. and i am using my logic to solve said theory. which i have just done!
France: *puts spoon down and claps* the amazing turkey
Turkey: Thank you. And as reward for solving the theory; ...can i be untied now...?
France: sure and if you leave you're taking some of this soup because I can't eat it all by myself ._. *unties*
Turkey: thank god! *covers face with hat* now, where did you throw my mask?
France: not telling~ ^_^ besides it's in a place I think you'd rather not go
Turkey: damn it... Go get it!
France: no; your face is cute anyways, I don't see why you hide it
Turkey: *blushing behind the hat* because it shows emotions and weakness
France: and hiding is not? *stirs soup* come taste this, idk how it's suppossed to taste ._.
Turkey: ...Damn you France... *sigh* alright alright fine...but only for now... *puts hat back on top of head* you want me to taste it...?
France: Yes ^_^ *hands spoon*
Turkey: ...*prays its not poisoned* *takes a small bite*...this is actually pretty good...but it can use some more salt ...
France: (france is a magical cook XD) alright *adds a bit more salt and stirs it in*
Turkey: (Lol xD) ...how many years have you been cooking?
France: hmmm... since i was seven i think...
Turkey: *blinks* really? Why that young?
France: I just found it really interesting and fun I guess
Turkey: Really ...? Weird ...
France: *turns to look at Turkey*how is it so wierd mr. mask man?
Turkey: are you really going to call me that? -_-
France: mmm yes, I don't see why not too ^_^
Turkey: *sigh* is the soup ready?
France: mmm yeah *dishes up two bowls of soup and hands one to you*
Turkey: tesekurlar agbey. (can't do Turkish lettering with this keyboard -_-)
France: (ok XD idk what it means though :'D) I don't know turkish...
Turkey: (Lolz) *sigh* thank you elder... (now you do xD)
France: Oh... you're welcome o.o
Turkey: *shrugs* rough translation ...
France: Rough translations are better than nothing ~_~ anyways *sits down at table and begins to eat soup*
Turkey: ...*joins* *takes a bite* this is great ...
France: good, if it was bad then that'd suck; I still made too much though ._. give some to japan when you leave ~_~
Turkey: *nods* will do... I'm sure he would love it
France: by the way, how the hell is this going to work out?
Turkey: How is what going to work out?
France: What's the only thing keeping youfrom already hitting me?
Turkey: ummm...the child...
France: exactly, so how is this going to work out?
Turkey: ...im..not sure... i suppose we could switch? some days you watch the kid and some days i do...
France: okay sounds good for now
Turkey: Indeed. Though, i think we should keep the kid away from the other countries (besides Japan xD)...to avoid curroption..
France: especially away from america (holy shit that means my son was my doctor o.e - that was from comments, I might post later if you guys want em)
Turkey: ESPECIALLY from America...and Russia! (lol and the fact that you had England's twins doesnt scare you...?
France: (canada and america are twins?) and austria...
Turkey: (i believe so...) and Italy...
France: That might be tough o.e (heh... maybe england was the one who had my twins! bam didn't think of that did you?)
Turkey: (...that depends though...who tops?) true...well, as much as possible... NO GREECE
France: (...so not an awkward question) Why no Greece? o.o (doesn't know stuff...)
Turkey: (lol just asking, whoever is on bottom is the mother... which is why you're the pregnate one and not me xD) Cause i hate Greece!
France: (shut up XD) any reason why? o.e
Turkey: (XD) numerous, numerous resaons... 1) he tries to steal Japan from me. 2) we always fight.. and 3)...he escaped from me...
France: ._. that last one sounds just a tad bit odd XD
Turkey: -_- Shut up... he was once one of my prisoners
France: ... heh
Turkey: -_- you're impossible...
France: hmmmm, no not really just in a perv thought procession today (yup, a perv thought procession...)
Turkey: when ARENT you?
France: at random times
Turkey: really now...? -_-
France: yup
Turkey: *sigh* ... i really do hope our kid doesnt end up perverted like you...
France: who knows what will happen XD
Turkey: you're right...we're the weirdest combination ever...
France: probably o.e ... (what country should it be?)
Turkey: (i have absolutly no idea... Albania? its in europe...) i wonder what the gender is...
France: could be either (now i need to see alll the countries in europe...)
( ) (xD) true...we'll know eventually...
France: (Albania... Denmark?) yup, I think after twelve weeks the doctor can tell though
Turkey: (Hmm how about if its a girl Albania and if its boy Denmark? ) but that's...how long from now? ._.
France: about eight weeks i think o.e (okay )
Turkey: O.e but that's so long from now... ( glad to have that solved. ._.)
France: (mhm) eh it's just two months ~_~ not very long at all actualy
Turkey: ...Do you not know me by now? I'm not a very patient person
France: ._. I know that very well
Turkey: ...you're thinking pervertedly again arent you?
France: no just remembering things
Turkey: of course you are...
France: ._. there's a reason why i know you're not patient ,
Turkey: ...and why is that...?
France: *glances at you* drunk, bar, sex
Turkey: ...we had sex at the bar...?
France: what, no XD
Turkey: oh..then shouldnt it go bar, drunk, sex?
France: well it should go bar,drunk, leave bar, sex
Turkey: ...i think it should be bar, drunk, leave bar, go to wherever the hell we had sex, sex
France: place,car,bar,drunk,leave bar,car,go to where we had sex (so a house most likely),sex, sleep, something
Turkey: place, car, road, bar, drink, drunk, leave bar, car, road, house, bedroom (assuming it was...), sex, sleep, wake up with no memory
France: pretty complete ~_~ oh yeah, also getting pregnant o.e
Turkey: that to... o.e ...are you sure you're not a girl?
France: I'm positive I'm not a girl Turkey
Turkey: ...maybe you're both...?
France: Well I don't have boobs or a vagina, just a uteris that works so I don't know
Turkey: ...maybe you have REALLY flat boobs ._.
France: no... maybe you're the one with extremely flat boobs o_o
Turkey: im not the pregnat one here! besides, you have to breast feed somehow right?
France: Well I don't have to, there's formula and like hell I would breast feed -_-
Turkey: ...so you want our kid to be dumb?
France: ...no...
Turkey: then you have to breast feed, it helps the brain
France: Turkey you don't understand how wierd that's going to be
Turkey: *shrugs* so?
France: I do not want to get turned on by my own child -_-
Turkey: ...THATS what you're thinking about?
France: yes
Turkey: *facepalm*...pedo...
France: I'm saying that i DON'T want to be turned on by our child
Turkey: France, if women aren't turned on, then you should be fine...
France: STOP COMPARING MY TO A LADY ALREADY! it's wierd :(
Turkey: *shrugs* cant help it
France: o.e how so?
Turkey: because...you're so comparable to a woman
France: ...how?
Turkey: let's see...you can get pregnat like a lady... you can breast feed like a lady... you always take bottom like a lady...french is the language of love...wich only ladies like xD
France: you shut up Q_Q I'm not a lady :(
Turkey:prove it xP
France: how am I to prove it?
Turkey: if you werent a lady you would know how! (shit that sounds perverted)
France: Well I think I know one way ~_~
Turkey: *blinks* really?
France: yes
Turkey:And how is that?
France: flashing
Turkey: O_O i think im good...
France: then how am i to prove that i'm a man?
Turkey: ummmm some other way?
France: -_- just tell me i'm fucking sick of guessing stuff
Turkey: ...I don't know...go flash germany! then he can tell me
France: okay XD
Turkey: ...i am going to forward Germany's message to you...
France: okay...
Turkey: hey france says he is a guy he flashed me but i still say he is a girl xDDD
France: ... someones going to die~ ...YOU FUCKING LIAR!
Turkey: what do you mean?
France: germany didn't say that!
Turkey: ...i read you the text...
France: Germany is a bastard -_-
Turkey: *pats ur head* there there... its no one's fault that you're like a girlxD
France: Turkey shut the fuck up *slaps hand away*
Turkey: *snickers* cursing now, are we?
France: yes, though I could have sworn that i cursed earlier as well
Turkey: yes, but it's starting to become more frequent
France: so?
Turkey: *shrugs* nothing
France: ._.
Turkey: ...*pokes face*
France: *gets more soup* ...woah... you remind me of phantom of the opra now o.e
Turkey: ...i do...? how did that come up?
France: thought about your mask
Turkey: ah...about that, when can i have it back?
France: Turkey you're like a puzzle ._.
Turkey: ...is this your way of flirting with me...?
France: no, if I was flirting it'd be way more obvious XD you should know that ~_~
Turkey: indeed i should... -_-
France: hmmm, were you perhaps hoping that i was flirting?~
Turkey: pffffft nooooo why would i?
France: ah, who knows ^_^
Turkey: *raises eyebrow* i have a feeling you do
France: how should i know why you'd want me to flirt with you? there could be multiple reasons
Turkey: who says i want you to flirt with me...?
France: and who says you don't? That question can go both ways
Turkey: ...damn...well i dont xP
France: heh
Turkey: *glares* what ...?
France: nothing really
Turkey: Oh... *looks down at empty plate* ... *takes plate to the sink*
France: (how the hell is it an empty plate if we ate soup? o,e) leaving?
Turkey: (Idk how you would put it xP) *shrugs* I suppose I'll stay a little longer ... besides, my mask is still here... somewhere ...
France: hah, it's in my room :P
Turkey: ...fuck... maybe I should just leave without it... I think I have a spare at home... but I don't want to walk that entire distance without my mask...
France: that's a bit cold... I was just going to give it back when you left but now I might not -_-
Turkey: (Apparently there's already a Denmark ._.) ...how would you have given it back if I was gone ..?
France: I meant right before you left o.e (damn it)
Turkey: Ah... *shrugs* *stares at the door to your room* dare I risk it...?
France: why are you asking me? o.e
Turkey: How do you know I wasn't talking to myself? xP
France: I don't ._. either way you got an answer
Turkey: ...*sigh* I may as well... besides, it can't be that bad... right..?
France: I don't think so ~_~
Turkey: Alright then! *opens door and enters room*
France: see it's not the bad -room is actualy pretty neat and clean-
Turkey: *blinks* wow...
France: What did you think it'd be filled with things about sex? ._.
Turkey: Yes. ._.
France: ...well that's a logical guess atleast...
Turkey: *looks around* now where is it?
France: not really sure i just kind of threw it in here o.e
Turkey: then it should be on the floor right...? *searches* i dont see it anywhere...
France: Are you kidding me? -searches other areas of room- what the fuck... :(
Turkey: ...It couldnt just disappeared! are you sure it landed in here...?
France: positive D: ._. your mask is playing hide and go seek i asume
Turkey: ...fuck... *facepalm*
France: -searches in every fucking place even the bed, trunk, closet and bathroom- ...your mask is a bitch
Turkey: indeed -_- *continues searching*
France: well i'm just going to take a nap, you do whatever *slides in to bed* ...FUCKING MASK! :( *pulls it out from end of covers and holds it out*
Turkey: ...HOW?
France: I don't know! It's a creepy mask now o.o
Turkey: *takes mask and puts it on* well thank you for finding it...
France: yup o.e
Turkey: hmmm..*poke*
France: what? ~_~
Turkey: I'm bored
France: then what do you want to do? -_-
Turkey: i dont know...entertain me?
France: *looks at you and laughs* this is like a situation we had earlier XD hmm, wanna play mario kart?
Turkey: ...what is mario kart?
France: oh it's a video game where you race little character people and hit people with turtle shells and other various items as you drive
Turkey: ...as stupid as is sounds...sure!
France: okay then XD *sets up... wii*
Turkey: *blinks*
France: *hands you controller* the 2 is to go, 1 is for brakes and the B is to throw items and you steer by moving the controller
Turkey: ...moving the controller...? like this? *wacks you in the head with it*
France: Ow! *holds head* no! q_q
Turkey: oh...like this then? *jabs you in the side with it*
France: just put it down already , *rubs side*
Turkey: *snickers* but what if i dont want to?
France: Just put it down Q_Q
Turkey: *sigh* fine fine *puts down*
France: good
Turkey: yeah yeah...
France: ._. we're not doing anything if you freaking hurt me
Turkey: *shrugs* you said i had to move it...
France: wait what?
Turkey: in order to steer. you never explained HOW to move it...
France: like this *shows* now try it without hitting me ,
Turkey: ...*does the motion* like this...?
France: yes *claps hands*
Turkey: *rolls eyes*
France: ready to play?
Turkey: sure!
France: -picks toad and red turtle dude- your turn mask man
Turkey: *rolls eyes* ... *picks bowser and mario*
France: ...you're definatly going to lose now *starts race*
Turkey: *speeds forward and is currently in third place*
France:...you're doing better than I expected...
Turkey: *shrugs* maybe it's my epic ski-*crashes to the side* shit
France: you were saying? XD
Turkey: Shut up! xP *continues back on the road* what place are you?
France: first ^_^
Turkey: O.e FUCK. *kicks peach off the road* Move it blondie!
France: heheh I hate that bitch when she puts up her hearts, she can use whatever gets thrown at her :(
Turkey: thats stupid, they're just hearts...*back in third place, almost second*
France: ._. i guess hearts are badass then
Turkey: ...seriously...? *uses a shell on yoshi*
France: well if they let you use random items that hit you then yes o.e *uses mushrooms*
Turkey: *second place* i supose...but hearts?
France: Don't ask me why Japan designed it that way *throws 3 green turtles back*
Turkey: HELL NO! *dodges* *throws a shell forward*
France: heh *blocks shell with banana*
Turkey: O.e *moves around banana* *gains a canon thingy* what does this do...?
France: it drives for you for a while
Turkey: ...*activates*
France: crap crap crap crap crap crap cra- *gets knocked sideways* DAMN IT!
Turkey: YES! xDD
France: *hits you with red turtle after cannon dude dies*
Turkey: DAMN IT Dx *activates star thingy*
France: not the fucking star!
Turkey: yes the fucking star! xD
France: damn it! *uses golden mushroom to avoid you*
Turkey: *throws shell at you*
France: *spinds round and falls off edge of course* -_-
Turkey: ...*laughing* xD im begining to like this game
France: i see
Turkey: *pats your head*
France: wierdo *hits you with green turtle*
Turkey: how am i the weird on-SHIT
France: heheh
Turkey: *throws shell at you*
France: God damn it *falls off course again* ._.
Turkey: xD how many laps left...?
France: one
Turkey: wonderful... *can see the finish line* yes! xD
France: no! ,
Turkey: *passes finish line* xDD yeeees
France: no _
Turkey: That, has made my day ^^
France: *puts head in hand* somehow i find that a bit sad Turkey
Turkey: *blinks* how
France: nevermind i don't really know
Turkey: *shrugs* ok then! ...*poke*
France: why are you poking me?
Turkey: *shrugs* its amusing...?
France: okay then...
Turkey: ...*poke* xD
France: *pokes back*
Turkey:*pouts* *poke**poke*
France: what are you pouting for? It's only fair i get to poke you back *pokes*
Turkey: *shrugs* still... *poke*
France: *poks back*
Turkey: *pokes tummy*
France: *backs up a bit*
Turkey: ...*pokes tummy again*
France: hey stop that *backs up again*
Turkey: why? *pokes again*
France: it's just wierd *blocks stomache with hands*
Turkey: ...*pokes side*
France: sdgewr *jerks away from spot and falls on floor* -_-
Turkey: ...are you ticklish...?
France: yes o.o why? _
Turkey: ...*evil smirk*
France: Turkey please don't ,
Turkey: But what if i want to?
France: If you do I'll probably A. pucnh you B. throw up on you or C. flail around on the ground ._.
Turkey:... *pulls out cell, sets to record and balances on the table* this way...it'll all be worth it. *looks at you* now then...