Episode 4: Out of Work RPG Villains VS Wrasslin'
"Ok people, After the last fiasco at McDonalds I thought that you crazies working in the public would be a terrible idea. But prior to that," she paused, "event, I placed in add in the paper, low and behold a man called up and begged me to get a chance to talk with you." Dr. Bradford explained to the six master villains. "Mwa ha ha! Who is it!? Let's go, let's go Kefky needs some money and he needs it now. Did you know I live in a box?" She sighed, Magus plopped down on the couch, "I played Hamlet in NYU, nothing could possibly more degrading than working at McDonalds after being in Hamlet."
Vince McMahon walked in, "I guess I was wrong," Magus moaned. "Hello guys, you're all just perfect, perfect! You see my, my enterprise needs some high quality villains. All we have is some baboon with an enormously gigantic nose. I mean my God it's huge, it's so big! I mean one time-" Vince stood there rambling on about Triple H's nose size. Slowly but surely one after another battle hardened Out of Work Villain, well they fell to sleep.
"So are you all in!?" he exclaimed waking the group up. Pokey stood up, "I don't know about this guys, first of all I'm a midget and I can't take abuse!" Ghaleon pulled out his ultimate weapon, his puppet, "I'm ready for anything that this, nose man you speak of could give us." Sephiroth walked forward, "Me and Mother used to watch wrestling during the filming of FF7. Those were the good days, she still loved me then." Dr. Bradford interjected, "JENOVA is a he Sephiroth, how many times must we go through this?" "But Doc, this story has a point, it's just fake, we can handle it."
Leon peeked out from behind a desk, "If it's fake, why don't we do it. That is if no one minds. I'm sorry if I disturbed you," he sulked back behind the desk. Kefka brushed his hand off with one of the rags he wore, "It's a deal Vince!" he said as he shook his hand. Vince laughed coyly, "Gentlemen be at Madison Square garden this Sunday at Seven," he walked out the door, "But boys, it's not as fake as it looks."
Sunday night came and the Out of Work Villains found themselves inside one of the locker rooms watching the unfolding pay per view, Final Wrestling Fantasy. Leon looked at the TV watching the early matches unfold, "There's a lot of people there. I don't like this." Kefka jumped on him, "Shut up you impotent fool! This is going to score us big bucks! I don't know if you know this but I live in an alley with some guy who's best friend is a piece of cheese! You're not even the main villain in that ridiculous Namco RPG. And by the way, Namco? Yeah they're really great at making RPGs," he yelled sarcastically. "Square's not the only RPG boat in the world you know!" yelled Pokey. As the small midget ran towards Kefka, Ghaleon put a stop to them, "Boys calm down. Just focus on the match. I know for a fact we aren't going to lose." Sephiroth laughed, "How do you know that?" "Even if it isn't fake, I found someone who is coming to help us if need be." Magus spoke for the first time since arriving at the lowest point of his career, "Who?" "Someone who is like me, you know separated from his world. As you know I have been separated from the world of Lunar, this man says that his people can't live with respect here and he is searching for some place to go where they will be accepted. He taught me many, MANY new things. He said he knew you Sephy." Before anyone could think about this Vince came on the TV, "Listen up Villains, there's a stipulation, if you don't win you're out of the WWF, and you're not just fighting Triple HHH, I've given him two teammates to even things up a bit. The match is starting soon why don't you all go down to the ring to see! I," trademark WWF dramatic pause, "guarantee it will be an interesting surprise."
The six made their way to ringside greeted by an army of dressed up nerds in the stands. They had never seen so many pimply faced people dressed up like them all crammed into one building before, and of course there were the mullet wearing wrestling audience too. "Hello everyone this is JR Ross, what a slobber knocker we're going to have tonight, right King," asked the ring announcer. "PUPPIES! HERE PUPPIES! HEHE, KITTENS, NICE KITTENS." As the group entered the ring Leon ran under the ring. And then the music started playing, the entrance theme of Hunter Hearst Helmsley. He walked down the ramp as usual spitting water at everyone and stood at the beginning of the ring waiting for his teammates. The second theme came on, "Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?" JR grabbed his chest, "OH MY GOD! IT"S THE ROCK TEAMED UP WITH TRIPLE H?!" "PUPPIES!?" The Rock ran down clutching a microphone, "Who the Hell are all these rudy poos?" he asked. Kefka, not a big fan tried to answer, "Well…" "It doesn't matter who you are! Vince teams me up with this bag of ten pounds of monkey shit, the Rock doesn't care! All I have to say is this jabronis, just bring it." A third theme came on ushered by a sound of breaking glass, Stone Cold, in crutches and a neck brace, stumbled down the ramp, sipping beer out of one of those cheap beer hats. The massive trio climbed into the ring and the bell sounded, then the carnage began, actually it was just one sided move after move against the Villains.
Triple H launched Pokey out over the ring and into the fans, the Rock flung Kefka into the ring post, and Stone Cold beat down Sephy and Magus with his crutches while spitting beer in their faces. "OH MY GOD! LOOK AT THAT CARNAGE! DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE KING?" "PUPPIES?" Triple H continued the beating on poor midget Pokey and within minutes had him pinned for the three, leaving only five members left in the match. Meanwhile Kefka tried to put up a resistance by pinching the Rock like a girl but he responded by giving him a rock bottom on the outside of the ring and pinning him. Stone Cold preceeded to pound Sephy as Magus escaped and pinned him also. Magus ran to the outside of the ring where he was caught by a clothesline from Triple H and the Rock, they finished him off with a leg drop and a pin.
Stone Cold crawled outside the ring pulling out Leon who ran into a corner next to the ramp shaking, "Give me a hell yeah if you want Stone Cold to kick this prick's ass!" The crowd responded, "Hell yeah!" Stone Cold replied with a stunner and a pin, that left Ghaleon alone. The Rock and Triple H cornered him next to the Spanish announce table, "Help!!!!!!!!!!!!" Suddenly Shawn Michaels' theme music came on, "I'm just a sexy boy, sexy boyyyyyyyyyy, I'm not your boy toy, boyyyyyyyyyy toyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy." But it was not Shawn Michaels who came out, it was a man in bikini briefs, Sephy looked up from the floor instantly recognizing, "Mukki?! The gay guy!?" He ran down and nailed Triple H and the Rock with a pipe and crawled into the audience, "Hmm hot stuff you got there Hunter, call me later!" he cried as he ran through the audience.
Ghaleon laid there thinking he had won, he had scored a job at the WWF! But Mukki forgot about one bad son of a bitch bald man who stumbled over to the now celebrating Ghaleon hit him in the head with the crutch and covered him for the one two three. "We will never see a match like that again! It was the best ever, now go order next month's pay per view which will be even better than this one!" screamed JR. "PUPPIES?"
So the Out of Work RPG Villains lost again even after the assist by Mukki, oh well maybe next time they will fare a little better. But I wonder what some of the "MANY" things that Ghaleon learned from Mukki were….
"Ok people, After the last fiasco at McDonalds I thought that you crazies working in the public would be a terrible idea. But prior to that," she paused, "event, I placed in add in the paper, low and behold a man called up and begged me to get a chance to talk with you." Dr. Bradford explained to the six master villains. "Mwa ha ha! Who is it!? Let's go, let's go Kefky needs some money and he needs it now. Did you know I live in a box?" She sighed, Magus plopped down on the couch, "I played Hamlet in NYU, nothing could possibly more degrading than working at McDonalds after being in Hamlet."
Vince McMahon walked in, "I guess I was wrong," Magus moaned. "Hello guys, you're all just perfect, perfect! You see my, my enterprise needs some high quality villains. All we have is some baboon with an enormously gigantic nose. I mean my God it's huge, it's so big! I mean one time-" Vince stood there rambling on about Triple H's nose size. Slowly but surely one after another battle hardened Out of Work Villain, well they fell to sleep.
"So are you all in!?" he exclaimed waking the group up. Pokey stood up, "I don't know about this guys, first of all I'm a midget and I can't take abuse!" Ghaleon pulled out his ultimate weapon, his puppet, "I'm ready for anything that this, nose man you speak of could give us." Sephiroth walked forward, "Me and Mother used to watch wrestling during the filming of FF7. Those were the good days, she still loved me then." Dr. Bradford interjected, "JENOVA is a he Sephiroth, how many times must we go through this?" "But Doc, this story has a point, it's just fake, we can handle it."
Leon peeked out from behind a desk, "If it's fake, why don't we do it. That is if no one minds. I'm sorry if I disturbed you," he sulked back behind the desk. Kefka brushed his hand off with one of the rags he wore, "It's a deal Vince!" he said as he shook his hand. Vince laughed coyly, "Gentlemen be at Madison Square garden this Sunday at Seven," he walked out the door, "But boys, it's not as fake as it looks."
Sunday night came and the Out of Work Villains found themselves inside one of the locker rooms watching the unfolding pay per view, Final Wrestling Fantasy. Leon looked at the TV watching the early matches unfold, "There's a lot of people there. I don't like this." Kefka jumped on him, "Shut up you impotent fool! This is going to score us big bucks! I don't know if you know this but I live in an alley with some guy who's best friend is a piece of cheese! You're not even the main villain in that ridiculous Namco RPG. And by the way, Namco? Yeah they're really great at making RPGs," he yelled sarcastically. "Square's not the only RPG boat in the world you know!" yelled Pokey. As the small midget ran towards Kefka, Ghaleon put a stop to them, "Boys calm down. Just focus on the match. I know for a fact we aren't going to lose." Sephiroth laughed, "How do you know that?" "Even if it isn't fake, I found someone who is coming to help us if need be." Magus spoke for the first time since arriving at the lowest point of his career, "Who?" "Someone who is like me, you know separated from his world. As you know I have been separated from the world of Lunar, this man says that his people can't live with respect here and he is searching for some place to go where they will be accepted. He taught me many, MANY new things. He said he knew you Sephy." Before anyone could think about this Vince came on the TV, "Listen up Villains, there's a stipulation, if you don't win you're out of the WWF, and you're not just fighting Triple HHH, I've given him two teammates to even things up a bit. The match is starting soon why don't you all go down to the ring to see! I," trademark WWF dramatic pause, "guarantee it will be an interesting surprise."
The six made their way to ringside greeted by an army of dressed up nerds in the stands. They had never seen so many pimply faced people dressed up like them all crammed into one building before, and of course there were the mullet wearing wrestling audience too. "Hello everyone this is JR Ross, what a slobber knocker we're going to have tonight, right King," asked the ring announcer. "PUPPIES! HERE PUPPIES! HEHE, KITTENS, NICE KITTENS." As the group entered the ring Leon ran under the ring. And then the music started playing, the entrance theme of Hunter Hearst Helmsley. He walked down the ramp as usual spitting water at everyone and stood at the beginning of the ring waiting for his teammates. The second theme came on, "Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?" JR grabbed his chest, "OH MY GOD! IT"S THE ROCK TEAMED UP WITH TRIPLE H?!" "PUPPIES!?" The Rock ran down clutching a microphone, "Who the Hell are all these rudy poos?" he asked. Kefka, not a big fan tried to answer, "Well…" "It doesn't matter who you are! Vince teams me up with this bag of ten pounds of monkey shit, the Rock doesn't care! All I have to say is this jabronis, just bring it." A third theme came on ushered by a sound of breaking glass, Stone Cold, in crutches and a neck brace, stumbled down the ramp, sipping beer out of one of those cheap beer hats. The massive trio climbed into the ring and the bell sounded, then the carnage began, actually it was just one sided move after move against the Villains.
Triple H launched Pokey out over the ring and into the fans, the Rock flung Kefka into the ring post, and Stone Cold beat down Sephy and Magus with his crutches while spitting beer in their faces. "OH MY GOD! LOOK AT THAT CARNAGE! DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE KING?" "PUPPIES?" Triple H continued the beating on poor midget Pokey and within minutes had him pinned for the three, leaving only five members left in the match. Meanwhile Kefka tried to put up a resistance by pinching the Rock like a girl but he responded by giving him a rock bottom on the outside of the ring and pinning him. Stone Cold preceeded to pound Sephy as Magus escaped and pinned him also. Magus ran to the outside of the ring where he was caught by a clothesline from Triple H and the Rock, they finished him off with a leg drop and a pin.
Stone Cold crawled outside the ring pulling out Leon who ran into a corner next to the ramp shaking, "Give me a hell yeah if you want Stone Cold to kick this prick's ass!" The crowd responded, "Hell yeah!" Stone Cold replied with a stunner and a pin, that left Ghaleon alone. The Rock and Triple H cornered him next to the Spanish announce table, "Help!!!!!!!!!!!!" Suddenly Shawn Michaels' theme music came on, "I'm just a sexy boy, sexy boyyyyyyyyyy, I'm not your boy toy, boyyyyyyyyyy toyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy." But it was not Shawn Michaels who came out, it was a man in bikini briefs, Sephy looked up from the floor instantly recognizing, "Mukki?! The gay guy!?" He ran down and nailed Triple H and the Rock with a pipe and crawled into the audience, "Hmm hot stuff you got there Hunter, call me later!" he cried as he ran through the audience.
Ghaleon laid there thinking he had won, he had scored a job at the WWF! But Mukki forgot about one bad son of a bitch bald man who stumbled over to the now celebrating Ghaleon hit him in the head with the crutch and covered him for the one two three. "We will never see a match like that again! It was the best ever, now go order next month's pay per view which will be even better than this one!" screamed JR. "PUPPIES?"
So the Out of Work RPG Villains lost again even after the assist by Mukki, oh well maybe next time they will fare a little better. But I wonder what some of the "MANY" things that Ghaleon learned from Mukki were….