Billy Brown, a harry potter fanfic

This is based on the song Billy Brown by Mika

It's a funny song and it's terribly cute as well. Listen to it before (or after) you read if you haven't heard it.

This is a Sirius/Remus kind of thing and is dedicated to the wonderful Ellie, who bugged me enough about the pairing I wrote this to shut her up! And as she is normally my beta and this is a surprise this has gone unbeta'd.

It's OOC and you have to pretend that the seventh book didn't happen pretty much, and that Tonks and Lupin had another baby.

And of course the almighty JK Rowling owns the characters. I just make them do naughty things.

Lupin is Billy Brown

Oh Billy Brown had lived an ordinary life
two kids, a dog, and a cautionary wife
while it was all going according to plan
Then Billy Brown fell in love with another man

"Remus," Tonks called down the hallway. "Hurry, Daisy and Teddy are going to miss the train!"

"I'm here, Love," he replied quickly, doing up his tie and kicking the dog out the back door. He looked at his shoe to see a wet patch and swore under his breath. "Now the kids aren't here very often do you think that we can get rid of the dog?"

"No!" A small girl who currently had bright pink hair popped her head out a door. "If I come back and stop is missing, I-I-I won't come back!" Seeming to think the threat was sufficient she sprinted out the door and hopped in the back seat of the family car and called out loudly, "HOGWARTS! HERE I COME!"

That was when Remus laid eyes on his new neighbor, a tall, handsome brunette and a muggle. He later found out his name was Adrian.

He met his lover almost every single day
making excuses for his dodgy holidays
(Unto religion that he said and duty found
they didn't know his faith was earthly bound)

Remus introduced himself to this tall, handsome stranger a week later when Tonks was out and he wanted to try and mow the lawn like a muggle. He walked next door and had to resist the urge to magically unlock the door and barge in. He rang the door bell and had to hold back a gasp, had had just gotten out of the shower judging by the droplets of water running down his beautiful chest.

"Hello?" He had the most musical voice. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, umm, sorry, I live next door and I want to mow the lawn is a bit overgrown and stuff so yeah, can I borrow your lawn mower?" Get yourself together Remus told himself, you sound like a teenage girl. He looked really confused and a bit taken aback, but spoke anyway.

"Come in, I don't actually have one myself, but I was actually on my way to your house after my shower to see if you had one." He blushed at the word shower and then ushered me inside. "Hang on one moment and I'll just get some clothes on.

He came back out well dressed and they decided that they would meet up the next day and go buy lawnmowers together. (AN: LOL!) He told Tonks that he had an important meeting at the Ministry regarding werewolf behaviour in the South.

After several months of seeing each other on and off, Lupin made his final decision after Daisy caught him sneaking through the house after a late night encounter.

He decided that he had to leave. Leave London, hell, leave England. He couldn't stay with one or the other. Tonks no longer trusted him, his children hated him and Adrian had thought that he lived in this house on his own. The noise that had come from Daisy's discovery educated him otherwise.

Oh Billy Brown needed a place, somewhere to go.
He found an island off the coast of Mexico
Leaving his lover and his family behind.
Oh Billy Brown needed to find some peace of mind.

I had to get out, I had no choice. That was what Remus Lupin kept telling himself while he spent his days sitting inside, in denial of everything. He finally got out of his shell and began to build himself a life in this new city. He started going out and sleeping around. He always gave the same excuse to the girls and guys he slept with, it was just to keep his mind off things.

And on his journey and his travels on the way,
He met a cutie who was brave enough to say,
When they made love he shared the burden of his mind.
Oh Billy Brown you are a victim of the times.

That was what he did until one night, he slept with a young handsome boy with a black shaggy mop of hair. His name was Sirius and he was amazing! The was the first time since Adrian Remus had had sex more than once with the same person. It was incredible and different every single time, some times they fucked, sometimes they made love, sometimes they dressed up, but mostly they were themselves. One day they went clubbing got extremely drunk and fucked. Afterwards, Remus opened up to Sirius as he thought he could trust him. He told Sirius all about Adrian, about Tonks and about his children's new found hate for him. He nearly broke down in front of Sirius, nearly.

They were out to coffee and were talking when Remus asked the question Sirius had been dreading to hear.

"What are we?" Sirius breathed deeply and told him how he felt.

"Remus, my dear friend," he started nervously. "We, are fuck buddies. Plain and simple."

This was not what Remus expected and lashed out. He hurt Sirius before leaving the coffee shop completely crushed.

Brown...Oh Billy Brown.
Don't let the stars get you down.
Don't let the waves let you drown.
Brown...Oh Billy Brown.
Gonna pick you up like a paper cup.
Gonna shake the water out of every nook.
Oh Billy Brown.
Brown...Oh Billy Brown.
Gonna pick you up like a paper cup.
Gonna shake the water out of every nook.
Oh Billy Brown.

Sirius realized his mistake days later. He tried to find Remus to apologize and make things better.

And find him he did. He went to his apartment and found the door unlocked. He opened the door to find red stains on the carpet. He followed the trail to Remus' room where he found him, hung from the ceiling fan, blood flowing from his wrists.

He collapsed on the bed, on the sheet that were smattered with Remus' blood. He also landed on a note. It was written in his beautiful linked script. A simple message.

I thought you loved me.

Oh Billy Brown had lived an ordinary life.
Two kids, a dog, and a cautionary wife.
While it was all going according to plan
Then Billy Brown fell in love with another man.

There you go

Hope you enjoyed it.

And to my dear Ellie: This is the sort of grief that this pairing cause. So there!

Oh btw beautiful people…

REVIEW PLEASE!

Sorry it's kind of dark at the end