Souvenir
Will you wonder...by the fall?
As he watched the TARDIS take off, all he could think of was the pit in his stomach. Of that pile of dust that was on the floor in front of where he'd woke up. Of the fact that they'd left him. He'd let himself sit and hope for a while, and beg them to come back at the top of his lungs. It didn't happen.
Will I wonder...was I here at all?
When the shipping team showed up, looking to make sure everyone was okay, and realized he was the only survivor, they'd flocked around him like a god. They'd helped him up, and tried to take him out in a hurry, but he'd asked to take a vial of the dust that he'd collected. They didn't ask, he figured, because they'd thought he'd lost his mind. Most anyone trapped on that station alone would have. It just gave him a chance to super motivate himself. He was going to find them, if it took him the rest of his life.
Look at me now
He'd gotten the job at Torchwood, in hopes that they'd cross paths again. That since trouble and the Doctor never seemed to be strange bedfellows, they'd meet up. They'd see each other, they'd hug. He'd swing Rose round when he picked her up. The idea that he'd really never see either of them again was a little too much for him to handle, so he didn't even make that an option. But every day, there was a bit of the back of his mind that doubted it more and more.
Look at you
Then one day he'd gotten called up to go on an expedition. Somewhere in the north end of Russia. He'd been over joyed at the idea of 12 layers of clothing not keeping him warm, until the word Doctor got thrown in. Thats why they were sending him. He was the resident expert on the Doctor, and they beleived they'd found something. Or someone.
Its slipping thru my fingers
He didn't think he'd ever got packed and boarded the plane that quickly. It was like he was moving in fast forward. After about twenty minutes of the flight he'd relaxed enough to see the veiw without shifting constantly.
All I'm trying to hold on too
He pulled out the vial of dust from the Game Station, and started rolling it in his hand. Staring at it. The guys had called it his good luck charm. Saying stuff about how normal people carry rabbits feet, but Jack Harkness carried dirt. They didn't understand what he'd gone thru. He'd died. He knew it. He knew Rose, or something that felt like Rose, had saved his life at the last moment.
Wait a minute
He watched anxiously out the window then. This was not the weather for Rose to be in. She never dressed comfortably warm. Not that he'd done any better with what he'd grabbed. But he'd have to do it. He'd lose his mind if he lost them again.
Wait a year
It had been almost a year in earth time now. Knowing the Doctor though he'd been all over time and space before he landed here. That was, if he landed here. He tried hard not to let himself get his hopes up. But as they came over the crest of a mountain, he thought he saw the TARDIS parked rather roughly on the nearest mountainside.
I have waited so long for you
"Land the fucking copter. NOW!" He yelled to the pilot, who scrambled to find a half way decent place to land. When they finally set down, Jack was out and running before he knew it. That didn't look like an intentional landing. My god what if one of them is hurt. He couldn't handle that. He ran harder and faster, coming up the mountain side carefully, trying not to lose his footing, but unwilling to slow down.
To be here
Finally he found where he'd seen the TARDIS, and it was her. He smiled and rubbed the wall of the machine for a moment, before trying to open the door. It was locked. "Great luck I've got going today." He knocked on the door, and heard a clomping noise from inside the machine. And the door swung open, and a man he'd never seen before was staring at him.
Can I have a souvenir?
He glared at the strange man in front of him. He'd obviously stolen the TARDIS. He latched on to him as hard as he could and slammed him into the side of the police box. "Where are they?" He shook the small man hard. "Where the hell are they?"
So I'll remember
"Jack, you might find this hard to beleive but I am the Doctor. Rose...Rose isn't traveling with me anymore. She's gone Jack." Jack let those words sink in for a long moment. The last time he'd seen Rose he'd been kissing her goodbye, thinking he'd be the one who wouldn't make it.
I was here
He let the man go for a moment, "If your the Doctor then prove it. I need to know your not lying to me," Jack saw the strange man thinking for a long moment, trying hard to find something no one else would know.
I don't wanna see you fade
"You thought we left you behind on purpose. But until about when Rose left, I hadn't realized you were still around and alive." The Doctor reached out to Jack. "I'd never have left you Jack. Not on purpose. You and Rose were everything to me." The man shook his head, like he was thinking.
Away
"I had to come back and make sure you were okay. I had to know you were allright, after Rose leaving me...I had to." The Doctor grabbed Jacks shoulders and held him tight. After a moment Jack hugged him back, he was desperate to beleive this man.
In the morning
They'd stayed the night on the TARDIS, with Jack asking as many questions about what had happened since they'd seperated as he could think of. He had the most intense urge to catch up on lost time. He'd allready lost the Doctor he'd known, now he had to figure this new one out.
In your skin
They'd talked for most of the night, but eventually ended up laying down together, both unwilling to let the other out of their site. They'd held each other tight, and eventually dozed off together. It had been an amazing night, and for Jack, that was hard to do when sex wasn't involved.
Listen to the blood beat
When they woke in the morning Jack was the first to rouse, and sat up on one arm to look at this new Doctor. He was something entirely different from the last one. He'd been rugged looking before, and now he was almost boyishly cute. He didn't know which he prefered visually, both triggered something different inside of his head.
We were swimming in
He'd gotten up and made a pot of coffee, and brought back two mugs worth to the room, where the Doctor was sitting on the edge of the bed. He'd looked startled at Jack for a long moment, then took the cup from him. "I thought you had left. Or it had all been a wonderful dream there, for a moment." The Doctor sipped his coffee carefully, and stared down at the ground.
In the morning
Jack sat down on the bed next to him, and leaned slightly toward the Doctor, just for the contact of their thighs, so that he knew the Doctor was still really there. The Doctor swung his head to look at Jack for a long moment, and reach out and set his coffee on the bedside table, he then carefully took Jacks out of his hands as well and set it next to his own. "I can't lose anyone else without telling them how I feel Jack. Without making you understand. I thought I lost you once, and I almost couldn't handle that."
From now on
And with that the Doctor had kissed him. It was more passionate then Jack had expected, and though the Doctors skin was slightly colder then his own, his mouth was like fire. Jack felt the Doctor hold the sides of his face tightly, making it hard for him to move or fight him.
Will you notice
And in that kiss he felt all the pain the Doctor felt at losing him, only amplified by the fact that the Doctor himself had changed within the same time period. He felt all the pain when the Doctor found out he'd been alive this whole time, all the pain of knowing he'd left him behind with all of that. All of that horror, all of that mess, and all alone.
How long I've been gone?
Jack gripped the Doctor then, letting him go pulled away. "Why not sooner? What stopped you before?" He searched the Doctors eyes, having a feeling he knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from his mouth.
Can I have a souvenir
"I couldn't hurt her like that. She meant so much to me, and I knew she was in love with me. But well, I don't fall in love easily, and she just didn't spark my hearts in the same way as you. I couldn't lie to her, but I couldn't let her know the truth either."
So I remember I was here?
He knew that was what he'd seen in the Doctors eyes when they'd come so close so many times before. He knew there was an attraction there, that even the time lord couldn't deny inside his own head. No matter how he acted outwardly.
I don't wanna see you fade
So Jack kissed him again, and held him close. "God yes. I want this so much." They held each other like they'd float away if they'd let go. They laid on the bed for a long time just kissing and holding each other.
Away
Greiving for lost time, and lost friends.They went on thru the day roaming around each others bodies like they were in a museum. Just lingering to touch certain places long enough to be happy and moving on.
Can I have a souvenir
He woke before the Doctor did yet again, he wasn't surprised though since they'd done a good job of wearing each other out. He sat for a long moment staring at the Doctor just contemplating what he was about to do. What he had to do, to keep this man he loved safe.
So I'll remember I was here?
He stood and got dressed quickly, and searched the pockets of his coat for his vial of dust, and pulled it out and looked down at it. He couldn't beleive he'd let this happen. Working for the wrong side, working for the wrong team. Falling hard for your enemy isn't ever a good idea.
I don't wanna see you fade
He pulled out the note he'd written months ago when he'd first been recruited to the Torchwood group. About how he was now one of the enemies, and that the Doctor had to know he wasn't an ally anymore, at least not for now, not until he got his memories back. He knew he could figure this all out, and wished the Doctor could be there, but knew it wouldn't be able to happen.
Away
He looped the chain he'd attached to the vial of sand around the door to the Doctors room. He left the note on the bedside table. He stood in the door way for a long moment before he let himself walk away from it. As he was walking out the door of the TARDIS, he promised himself he would be back, and that the good luck he'd just given the Doctor, while just silly superstition, would keep him safe until it was all over. Until he could see him again.
Can't you see what we've become
The Doctor woke alone, surrounded by bunched up blankets that he'd been searching through in his sleep. He sat up slowly, and looked around the room. There was no smell of coffee this time, and no sign of any of the clothing Jack had discarded earlier in the night. He let his eyes scan the room and saw the folded up peice of paper that was on the bedside table next to his bed.
Out of nowhere its all gone
He picked it up quickly and read it over several times. He was really gone. He couldn't come back until he found his lost time, and he felt Torchwood would help him. But that Torchwood was looking for the Doctor, and he didn't know why, and wouldn't want to risk the Doctor by keeping him around. The nerve of Jack, to think he couldn't take care of himself. It actually felt kinda nice, and he hated admitting it.
I don't wanna see you fade
So the Doctor laid there for a while, pondering what came next. After a bit he decided it was best he take off, since Jack had said it was fairly obvious that he was being sought out. So he stood and threw his clothes on, and as he went to walk out of his room something swung and hit him in the thigh. He picked up the vial slowly and looked at it. He looked it over carefully for a long minute before he realised what it was. Dalek dust. From the Game Station.
Away
Written in an older form of Scottish in small flowing script on the side of the bottle, it simply said..."Good luck to travelers." That brought a smile to the Doctors face, and under his own breath he said quietly..."I love you too Jack." And hung the vial around his neck and tucked it into his shirt.