Hello everyone!
I was doing today's chore, which was to empty and sort through one of the bookshelves in my house, and I came across the book, Puss In Boots (original by Charles Perrault) and I thought about how interesting it would be to make a parody of it featuring our beloved shichibukai!
So, here it is, and I hope you found it as entertaining to read as I did to write!
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One day, miller Jimbei realized he was growing old and frail, and decided it was about time to write his will. Gathering his sons, Blackbeard, Kuma and Mihawk, the family congregated at the outdoor picnic table by the shore of the creek at the edge of the mill.
"Sons, I will leave you each with some of my prized possessions before I pass on. To you, the hard-working and able Blackbeard, I leave you my Mill. Please continue the prosperous business. To my wise and honest Kuma, you shall receive my vessel, perfect for importing, exporting, and travel."
The two brothers were overjoyed with their receiving, and, consequently, were placed in jolly spirits. But then, a flat, voice, quiet, yet piercing in the contented silence spoke up.
"Father…?" Youngest Mihawk questioned, wondering what his receiving would be.
"Oh yes, err, Mihawk. You can have Doflamingo, our loyal servant." Quickly added Jimbei.
The two other brothers broke out into laughter.
"More like lazy and cantankerous!" chided Blackbeard. Kuma chuckled to himself.
Mihawk sighed, realizing how pathetic his gift was. Kuma presented Mihawk with a small dagger. "Have this brother." He said. "You can end the worthless Doflamingo's life and collect the life insurance; it must be better than what you have anyway." This caused an eruption of laughter from both the older brothers, and even a tiny chuckle from the father, not even bothering to deny the worthlessness of his gift.
Nearly a week later, Jimbei's guess came true, and he passed away overnight. Waking up to being thrown out of his brother's mill with Doflamingo, Mihawk was unsure of what to do. Yet, that decision was quickly resolved for him as Doflamingo handed Mihawk 300 belli and asked him if they could go out to buy Doflamingo a coat. Having nothing better to do, Mihawk obliged. Shortly after being adorned with his new, pink, voluminous feather coat, Doflamingo then asked for rope, and the dagger given to Mihawk by his brother. Mihawk was puzzled by this, but, Doflamingo was his only companion at the moment, and he again obliged with the request.
The next morning, after camping out in the woods, Mihawk awoke to muffled cries of protest. He exited the tent and looked around. In shock, he found a bound and gagged man slumped over at the base of a nearby tree. The man's eyes could not be seen, but was easily recognizable by his grass-green hair. Zoro the bandit! Mihawk was in shock to have such a wanted criminal bound right by him. Doflamingo was sitting off to the side, cross-legged and grinning, with a bandaged hand. Without a word about the captive, he got up and said, "Meet me by the big river by noon; fully undressed and in the river." Then, he picked up the captive and walked away. Mihawk didn't doubt Doflamingo, but he still slowly hesitated before beginning to trek off to the river. What an unusual request! He thought.
While Mihawk was on his way to the river, Doflamingo was on his way to King Sengoku's castle, to present the wanted bandit. As he entered the king's meeting room, he bowed down low and said, "Your majesty, please accept this criminal, defeated and bound by the Marquis of Cocoyashi Village." Now, Sengoku had never heard of such a marquis, but still he was extremely surprised and pleased, and sent the defeated Zoro away to the dungeon.
Later that day, at noon, Doflamingo rejoined Mihawk, who was nude and in the depths of the river. Doflamingo hid Mihawk's clothes, and (on schedule) as the King's coach approached up the road, Doflamingo began to yell, "Help! Help! The Marquis is drowning! Save him!" Mihawk, utterly confused, but found it wisest to play along, began to flail in the water. Sengoku, recognizing the name (and the man's flashy coat) immediately ordered his stagecoach men to save (and clothe) the 'marquis' Mihawk. After exchanging pleasantries and thanks, Mihawk and Doflamingo continued on their journey, and the King continued down the road.
Traveling down the path, Mihawk and Doflamingo met some poor villagers whose fields had been ravaged and destroyed by a presiding ogre named Moria. Doflamingo promised the defeat of Moria if they told any passer-bys that all these lands belonged to the Marquis of Cocoyashi Village. They eagerly agreed with high hopes for freedom once again as Doflamingo entered Moria's castle.
The only reason for Moria's extreme strength was a stolen straw hat made of magic golden straw. The hat enabled the wearer to transform into anything. Upon entering, Doflamingo marveled and flattered Moria over his immense strength and humungous size. He humbly requested, with false innocence, if he could see Moria transform into a sea king. Eager to show off, in a flash, Moria was no longer standing before Doflamingo, but a towering green sea king, with glowing red eyes and gleaming white fangs. Doflamingo's eyes widened in awe. "Amazing Moria! Can you even transform into insects?" he asked. In an instant, the sea king was gone, and a black beetle was scurrying along the floor. Quicker than an eye blink, Doflamingo's foot shot out, and squished the beetle, killing the dreadful ogre. Placing the hat on his head, he wished for all these lands to be lush, green, and thriving once again. Like a dream, the whole kingdom blossomed and became beautiful and prosperous, like it had once before.
Doflamingo returned to the waiting Mihawk as the king passed by the area in his coach. The king was in awe over such lush lands owned by a man such as the marquis. The king knew he must have the Marquis join his family, and add to his monarch's power. Therefore, by presenting Mihawk with his beautiful daughter, Miss Hancock, he asked for Mihawk to request his daughter's hand in marriage. Mihawk happily obliged and entered the royal family.
Doflamingo, however, was promoted to prime minister of the land, and lived a prosperous life, happily ever after.
The end!
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I hope you like it! Thanks for reading everyone! If you have suggestions or comments or anything at all, please review! I really find it helpful for writing future works :D
----Wikki