I do not own Ace Attorney, or any of the characters.

This is just a stupid story I wrote while listening to Don't Trust Me- by 3OH!3

And I do not own Don't Trust Me, either.

Hmm... Getting drunk is funny.

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Klavier was at another one of his late night concerts, and of course for some insane reason, Ema was the security guard. He pumped his fist into the air, while his other hand was holding the microphone that he was holding very close and screaming into. He could see all the fans going crazy, and many of them were screeching like banchees. He ran to the other side of the stage, all while singing and started dancing. Feels foppish, he thought, but is 'foppish' a fucking word? He looked over to a place where Daryan would be. It was taken over by another new band member, one that was quite popular with the girls. Hey, I can think like this and sing at the same time! I ain't such a dumb-ass as Ema says.

SPLAT!!! Well, too late. Klavier had fallen on flat on the floor, face-first and the band didn't really give two shits and kept on playing. He got up, and ironically people laughed.

It seemed that he fell when the song ended and the last lyrics were, 'And I'm always falling, yet never for you!' He tried to go along with it, and he jumped, with both of his arms up high. Then, the band stopped playing. The crowd cheered, with it's usual fangirls fainting or screaming their stomachs out.

After a bunch of bows and laughs, he went backstage. As he passed by Ema, or tried to, he felt her grab his shirt.

"You were so stupid!" She laughed, moving her head back, and forth. Klavier could tell she had one too many shots.

"Heh. Ema are you drunk?"

"Nope! I just ate those little cakes." His mouth shaped a circle, and he let out a girly, 'ooooh.'

"Those cakes have rum in them." They walked to the dressing room.

"Well, I haven't felt this high ever since I accidentally cones-hic-oomed my fingerprinting powder." He became even more interested.

"You can get high on that?"

"As long as you have the one with the least chemicals and shit." Ema collapsed on the couch, and opened the huge bottle of rum on the table, going 'might as well,' before she downed half of it.

"Uhh… How many of those little cakes did you have?"

"I don't know I lost count since 35," she looked at him seriously, "Why did they have a lot of calories?"

"No. It's just that there's a lot of rum in them."

"Shoot. You know, I don't like it, I'm more of a wine person."

"Really." Klavier opened a bottle of rum.

"And I ain't some freakin' beer head like Apollo." Klavier almost choked on his alcohol.

"Shit, really? Apollo actually drinks crap like that?"

"Yeah! He can throw one hell of a party, listening to hardcore metal and getting drunk like a… A motherfuckin' drunkard!"

"Sheesh, why wasn't I invited to any of these parties?"

"Because no one likes you! Even Trucy doesn't you, she said one time, you were not as real as she thought. But, though, we were drunk at that time."

"Okay…"

"He frikin' mixes shit together like a frikin' baratender! I wouldn't be surprised if he is one! Oh, yeah this one time, I sneaked wine into his drink. He took one sip and spit it out. He went, 'Fuckit! It's the motherfuckin' curse of that stupid asshole!' He later explained that was you!" She laughed again and slapped her knee.

"Ema! If you're gonna fucking trash me, why are you here?" She paused and looked him in the eyes.

…

"Because I want your alcohol."

"... Yeah, well you drank the last one. Out, out." He got up, and led her out.

"Imma gon-hic-a tell Apollo you're gay, and he'll hook you up! I mean if you can't even try to get me, then you're fuckin' bi!" She smiled, raising her drink in the air.

"Well, THANKS! ... Fucking crazy bitches…" He started to clean up all of the empty glass bottles.

"You're welcome!" He looked over his shoulder, and she ran off.

"What a drunk bitch."

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Thanks for reading!