You see him walking like a ghost, mourning for the loss of his loved ones and you wish you can take all the pain away from him… but there is nothing you can do, you know his life is not even near normal… no parents, family dead, and now his godfather is dead too. And you ask yourself what can you do to make him feel better. Is there a way to give him just a little happiness? If only for a moment, to make him realize that not all the people that loved him is gone, that you are still here and that you'll love him no matter what, but you can't tell him that, you can't do that to him, he'll try to push you away, you know that, he'll say something stupid like not deserving love or not knowing love at all.
So you sit and watch him as he climbs the stairs to his bedroom to "rest" he says but everyone knows he can't have a good sleep… nightmares hunt him, shadows of the ones he loved and lost, ghosts of the others who he never knew but still lost, and, of course, nightmares about the few people he has left... that in the end forget about him, in his mind you know he is saying that everybody thinks he is not worthy and while some may think that way there are others like yourself that still trust him… forgive him, even though he's done nothing in order to forgive him, and yes love him like you do, like you've always have, like you always will.
How can you save him? You ask yourself, how con you make him forget about all the pain he is feeling right now, how can you make him feel loved. You stand up and climb the stairs to see him, just to see him, that's the only thing on your mind right now, you need to see him and do something, anything for him.
You open the door and you find him lying on his bed with his eyes closed yet you know he is not asleep. You know he knows you are here, and because he doesn't say a thing you sit on his bed and watch him, not daring to say a word, trying to calm your breathing and also your heart which is beating really fast.
He is so young you realize as you watch his face, memorizing every feature, every line, every flaw… and yet he has fought and faced so many things… once again you feel that pride and devotion for him, you admire him because he is still alive, he is still breathing, and he is still fighting, he doesn't want any of this, he wants to be a simple boy, that plays with his friends and has no care for what is happening all around the world. You know he doesn't want to be in war, he doesn't want to see his friends die, or being tortured, that's why he is mourning alone, he wants people to leave him alone…
Finally you crack a smile, because you know that he is wasting his time if he thinks that by doing this he is going to keep them out of harm. Of one thing you are certain, you are never ever going to leave him, he is your world right now and has been for the last few years, back when you met him you were friendless, and then after he saved your life you knew that you were going to follow him everywhere, he was your reason to live, he is the reason you wake up every morning, just seeing him greet you, a simple hello can make you feel so good, can make your heart feel so… there are no words, it's simple, you just love him and he's going to have to deal with it.
"I guess you were right after all… I do have a saving people thing".
You get startled by his voice, but not because he is talking to you but because of what he says to you, that's what you told him, you remember.
"I'm sorry", you say, because you don't know what else to say, what can you say after all?
"It's alright, I know you didn't mean it in a bad way, it's one of your best qualities actually, you tell me the truth, you don't go dancing around the subject, but you tell me the truth. That's one of the reasons I care about you more than anybody else, so don't be sorry". He is staring at you when he talks.
You know that he is making just small talk, but when he said that he cares about you more than anybody else, you start to think that maybe, just maybe he returns your feelings. Hope, that's what is driving you now, that stupid hope that he might love you, and you that this is it, this is the moment to say what is needed to be said, but he is not going to talk. It's up to you now, is your turn to be the bravest now.
"I know what you are trying to do", when you see that he is about to say something you continue without hesitating, "it's not going to work, maybe with other people, but not with me, never with me, I'm not going to leave you and pretend that all those years we've been friends, best friends, didn't happen, I'm not going to abandon you to your luck in the middle of a war because of some stupid idea you have in your mind that I'm going to be in danger".
"Lets face it I'm already in danger, I'm one of the things he despises most Harry, you can complain all you want to but the fact is that I'm staying with you, by your side, wether you like it or not".
You never break eye contact; you know that he is going to notice if you show a little bit of fear, you know that during the whole speech you have to stay calm and show him that it's your final decision, and you think you've done it on an excellent way.
"I always knew that there was no way I could ever fool you", he pauses for a moment and sighs, "You have always been there for me, since the beginning, trough all our adventures you've been always there, solving all the mysteries, using all your knowledge to help me, and know that I have lost someone so important you are still there, I can see things in a better way now, I know there are many things to come yet, times way darker than before are coming".
"I..." he starts to get nervous you see, "I need you, all this time you were the only one to be there for me, even when nobody else believed in me, you never once questioned me, you trusted me in every possible way, for all of that I thank you". He pauses and the look on his face is so… passionate you think.
"I can not lose you Hermione, you hear me? I can not lose you" he is breathing heavily now. "You give reason to my life, my best friend; you have to promise me that you'll be careful, because I couldn't stand to see you fell again. Don't scare me in that way again, please"
You move next to him and hug him feeling his hot tears on your shoulder and you start crying, because you can feel his pain. It's about time he cried you think, and start rocking him while both of you cry, for everything that happened, for every loss, for every nightmare, for everything you cry.
Once you are both calm, you notice that you are both really tired… How many hours have passed since you came here? You don't know, then his voice interrupts your thinking.
"Maybe we should get some sleep" He says and you agree with him because it has been a really emotional afternoon, but you want to stay close to him, you don't want to leave his side, and you are so embarrassed to ask him if you can stay that you don't know what to do.
"Hey, what is it?" he asks, he must have noticed your nervousness, "It's just", you start and stumble upon the first words but you continue, "I don't want you to be alone, and I don't want to be alone either".
You can see that his eyes widened, but there is something in his eyes… could it be? Happiness? Could it be that? As soon as this thought enters your mind you feel warm all over your body and instead of trying not to get your hopes up you let them fill you, and you look at him silently asking him if it was alright for you to stay the night in here with him.
After what seemed like hours he nods and tells you to stand up while he cleans the bed and then, "you should go get your things because it'll be really uncomfortable to sleep in that", he says pointing to your school clothes. You nod and in ten minutes you meet him in his room again but with your nightgown on now.
You see him blush and you can't help but do it too because you are going to share the same bed now. He climbs to one side and invites you to go in to the bed. Once you are there he pulls the covers up and you are both looking at the ceiling without moving. And you think that if this going to work you need to do something.
Without thinking you turn to look at him and in one daring motion you let your head rest on his shoulder and your right arm goes to stay across his chest. He is still not moving when you are done, but eventually he relaxes and hugs you to him with his arm which is under you and with his other holds you by your waist. This is the first time you've ever been so close to a boy in all your life, but this you realize, as you cuddle a little more closer with him, feels so nice and so right that all you do is smile and with a whisper say goodnight to him. And as you start to enter the world of dreams you hear his "Goodnight 'Mione" and your smile grows. Then you are both asleep.
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Well, I started writing this and I hope you like it, this is going to be in progress because I have to study now hehe, but if I get enough reviews I'll probably continue writing and adding more chapters, just tell what you think and if you like it, remeber it's just my second fic ever!