Feverish Night Dreams

Ivory-Princess

As I pulled back the covers to my bed, I suddenly noticed how empty the bed looked without Edward Cullen. I couldn't remember the last time things felt this lonely. Besides the night before that when he wasn't there…and the night before that…and that… How much longer would he have to be gone? Until I died of a horrible depression? I realized my thoughts were extremely bitter, but it couldn't be helped. I figured that the longer Edward was gone, the more miserable I would be without him. Charlie must be mapping out the closest asylum by now… "It honestly wouldn't be that surprising if I woke up in a hospital bed," I muttered. If I were him, I would have put me in a crazy place too. But, I wasn't him…instead, I was worse: I was me.

I let out a deep sigh as I climbed into my bed and shivered as I pressed my body against the cold sheets. I had a feeling it would be the same reaction if I had pressed my body against Edward instead. Stop it! You're just trying to hurt yourself! My mind scolded. I rolled over on my side and stared at the blank wall beside me. Why was it this hard? Why couldn't I just be like a normal teenage girl who moved on from one guy to the next? Why couldn't I just like Mike Newton, for God's sake? Before I knew it, the tears were welling up in my eyes and all I wanted to do was scream.

Scream out every damn fear.

Scream out every damn heartache.

But, I knew it wouldn't be that easy. Nothing ever was…

I quickly wiped away an escaping teardrop as I rolled over once more. I started to feel the sleepiness settle in as my eyelids started to rebel against my wishes. No… I pleaded with myself. Not yet…I don't want to see his face yet. Before I knew it, I was lost in dreams of him once more.

As I walked down a long hallway, I realized that it was one of those endless kinds. "Crap," I muttered in annoyance. "This isn't like the night before."

I continued walking until I reached a wooden door. A sudden gust of wind blew past me as my hand reached for the doorknob. I quickly glanced down to see the goosebumps race down my arm and then, I turned the knob to the right. "Hello…?" It seemed like a natural thing to do when walking into a foreign room. However, come to think of it, this wasn't a foreign room at all… The paintings that covered the wooden walls and the antique desk in front of me all provoked the memories that I had been blocking out. It was Carlisle's office. It wasn't until that particular moment that I heard the familiar noise of something beautiful: piano. My head turned to the door that which I came in and I began walking towards it. The scene changed into the hallway that led from the office, into the living area. The term stroke me as funny considering the people that dwelled in this place were anything but living. As I continued to walk, the music continued to grow. "Hello?" I called out again. "Is someone here?" No response. My anxiousness began to grow as I entered upon the living area. My eyes darted to the piano, and I could feel them widen.

His back was turned to me, but I would have recognized him from a mile away. "Edward…" Edward Cullen continued to play the piano, without bothering to look behind himself to see me. So, I decided to walk forward instead. The sound of my shoes echoed eerily throughout the house as neared him. Suddenly, the music that he was playing struck me as memorable as the tears sprang into my eyes. "That's my lullaby," I choked as I came up behind him. All of a sudden, he abruptly quit playing the piano and looked up at me. My eyes were glistening with tears as his wonderful, breathtaking eyes watched me.

"Why are you crying?" He asked softly.

I sniffled quietly as I replied, "I'm just, happy… and sad. But, mostly happy…that you're here…with me."

I watched as he stood up from the piano bench and slowly pulled me towards him. I had almost forgotten how beautiful his pale skin looked as I edged in his direction. His hands were cold, but I really didn't pay that much attention to it when he began to lead his head in to mine. "Edward," I breathed roughly. He pressed his cool finger against my now trembling lips and shook his head.

"Shh, Bella… no more talking," I obeyed his wishes as he finally leaned in and pressed his cool lips against mine. No more talking… his words echoed. He suddenly pulled me closer and harder as more life began to rush to his lips. I was almost shocked by his aggression, but yet, I said nothing about it. I didn't want him to stop, so I decided that it was best if I just shut up this once. He raked his fingers through my hair before lifting me up off of the wooden floor. He began to move ever so lightly across the floor as he continued the passionate kiss. I began to wonder how so much life could come from something not living at all… It was truly an amazing experience to be kissing someone as a beautiful as he. I somehow couldn't remember how I had managed to be in his arms, but I didn't want to question it. I couldn't…not when something so perfect was happening. It wasn't until then that I realized we were in a different room; we were in his room. He slowly pulled away and began to do something that sent a chilling sensation down my spine. He ran his fingers through my hair once more and leaned down to my neck. He pressed his lips to my throat and slowly began to kiss. I knew that he felt me quivering beneath him as he continued… but, he knew at the same time that I wasn't going to ask him to stop. If anything, he knew that I would have asked him to never stop.

"Tell me what you're thinking," Edward's words came from what seemed like a distance. I could feel his eyes upon me, waiting for an answer.

"I'm thinking… how this can't be real," I answered truthfully as I sheepishly tried to hide the combating tears. His hand extended out to my cheek and stroked it gently.

"Even if it isn't, why question it?" He asked curiously. He had a point…However, for some reason that wasn't stopping the painful realization that this had to be a dream. "Don't question good things, Bella," He continued.

I looked up at him as he stared down at me. "Okay," was all I managed before leaning in for another kiss. His kisses were incredible…like nothing I had ever felt before. They were much better than those of an alive person. This isn't real, though, I told myself sternly. You know better than to trick yourself like this. Or at least I was supposed to.

We had both managed to fall down onto a velvet covered bed as our kiss began to grow into something stronger and more powerful. I knew that this was too good to be true, but it all felt so unbelievably realistic. I slowly pulled away and leaned in to his ear. "I love you, Edward Cullen." I whispered softly. He stared at me for the longest time before placing another soft kiss on my lips.

"And I love you, Isabella Swan," He replied sweetly. "Always and forever." He then took his hand and placed it over mine. With a gentle squeeze, he smiled. "Now that you know… it's time to wake up."

I could feel the curious expression drown over my face as I stared up at him. "…What?"

"It's time, Bella," He repeated. Then, my heart skipped a beat; I knew what he was referring to… He was getting ready to leave me.

"No…" I shook my head violently. "No, Edward, please…no!"

He continued to smile as he stroked my cheek. "It's time,"

"No, stop saying that! It's not time…not yet! Please, Edward…" I could feel my voice beginning to crack. "Not yet…Don't leave me…"

"I love you, Bella. I will always love you," He said as he kissed my forehead.

"If you love me, then why are you leaving me?" I croaked. This couldn't be happening… Not when I had just had the best kisses of my life and not when I was in the arms of the person I truly loved.

"Because, you have to wake up now…Charlie will be waiting." He explained. Waiting for what! I wanted to yell. "Goodbye, Bella,"

"NO!" I yelled. "Stop this, Edward—don't say 'goodbye' to me!"

"I love you," Those were the last words I heard Edward Cullen speak before I woke up screaming in my bed.

"Bells, what's wrong!" Charlie's voice thundered as he nearly busted down my door. I raised up from my pillow and looked up at him. It was all a dream… It was so real and so wonderful…and it was a dream. Edward Cullen was no longer with me.

"He's gone…" I choked. Charlie then rushed over to my side and kneeled down.

"Who is?" He demanded as he touched my cheek. "Who's gone?"

"He's really gone…" My voice was shaking violently as I looked away. I couldn't hold the charging tears anymore as I buried my head into his shoulder and began to sob. I could feel my body shake as he slowly wrapped his arms around me. Charlie didn't offer any words of encouragement…only a shoulder to cry on, and at that moment, it was all I needed.