Voices droned about him like white noise, barley touching his consciousness, as he read the latest's email. Internet Café's were typically 'big city' so both had found it a bit surprising that this small town, on the Indiana border boasted proudly of their tiny electronic café.
Dean had dropped him off, told him not to get lost in the porn sights then drove away, grinning as he got a finger for his trouble. He would get them a room, pick up some coffee and be back within the hour.
Sam smirked; porn was more Dean's thing than his, though he had to admit there were some interesting sites out there.
He didn't notice the pair of eyes that followed him as he scanned the café for a vacant computer. Sam had to wait almost fifteen minutes before a middle aged man rose, gathering his papers and stuffing them in a briefcase. This wasn't a place to be shy in, and the younger Winchester quickly moved to the businessman's side.
"May I?" He asked with a friendly smile, ignoring the teen that glared at him as he slipped onto the barstool before the computer as the older man nodded. Sam scanned the instructions, and gave a sigh of relief to see, it was actually free. Apparently a 'test' program for the small town.
He typed in the name and password provided to track the time he would spend on the computer then pulled up his yahoo email account. The inbox was filled as well as the spam box which was overflowing. With practice he quickly glanced down the list deleting and reporting as spam as he went until he had it down to five emails worth reading.
One was from Bobby.
Sam's smile turned into a grin at the thought of the older man behind a computer as he communicated with the 'boys'. The email was direct, and came with an attachment, but Sam could see the worry and care in those blunt words.
His email reply to Bobby was short and direct also. Not much more than a thank you and an assurance that they were okay. Since the younger Winchester frequently changed the email address he used, he made sure he gave their dad's old friend the latest one.
The good news was Bobby had been able to get the information Dean asked for on the 'haunting' out at Spider Creek. There were rumors of a large web spinning arachnid, which used children to lure male adults to its lair.
Food was but one of the reasons, the other, he didn't even like thinking about, let alone say out loud. Similar to the black widow, this spectral vision apparently which appeared every 3rd full moon, mated, and devoured its mate, only to vanish again once its 'children' were safely hatched.
Or so the legend went.
This past year, after a good fifty years of nothing but the fable being handed down from generation to generation, Spider Creek was once again on the map. Four upstanding citizens, all male, had come up missing. The last was the mayor's son. It made national news, along with the renewed 'spider' story and speculation.
It was a shared printer, so Sam waited to print off the information Bobby sent, until it fell silent. The soft 'ping' told him he had more mail. Curious he minimized the document he had be ready to print and glanced at the name of the sender of the email.
His heart began to race and his hands shake. Automatically he glanced over his shoulder. No one was paying him any mind, and Dean had yet to arrive. He wiped his suddenly sweaty palms on his well worn jeans then double clicked the mouse button.
It took a few moments for his eyes to focus in on the words and for them to begin to make sense. A soft smile curved his lips, his eyes filled with relief and pleasure. Quickly he scanned the message, then went back to the top and re-read it again, more slowly.
Secrets were not things that he had from Dean. Well not in the ways that mattered. He still didn't talk about Jess, kept to his own council on some things that were…personal…private, just as he was more than sure his older brother did. One thing they didn't do was keep secrets about the 'job', those types could get them killed.
So Sam justified this tiny secret as not job related. Except…this one was, and was not.
A sigh escaped him, Dean would be pissed, hell; he would be pissed if it had been Dean doing this to him. His heart was still beating faster than normal, but not with fear, never with fear. How could he be afraid of one that was so like him, a kindred spirit, one who understood.
Not that Dean DID NOT understand, it just wasn't the same. He loved Dean, there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for his brother, but this, this had been for him.
One long finger came up and caressed the monitor, touching the name of the sender of the email. He was okay, safe, and closer than Sam realized. It had been almost two months since he had heard from Charlie, in those two months he had feared the fellow 'hunter" had lost the battle.
Charlie told him once that IF he did loose, Sam would know, for he left instructions that an email be sent to all the addresses Sam used that would say two words.
Gone Home.
He lowered his head and dropped his hand. There was overwhelming relief that it wasn't those two words in this email, but actually a full page, from Charlie himself. There had been a battle, Charlie had not lost his life, but he had lost. His brother, his 'better' half as Charlie termed him, had fallen.
He wasn't in the battle anymore, his heart couldn't take it. His soul, was now buried with his brother …with Chad. This was a goodbye in a way, a goodbye and best wishes. Sam could feel the pain in the words, understood them, and related to them.
He had lost his dad, and if anything happened to Dean, well THAT was something he refused to entertain. After a year of correspondence, which had begun not long after he met Cassie, he discovered he wasn't willing to loose Charlie either.
It was about then that it hit home how much not only he had lost, with Jess and his mom, but Dean too. They both had lost, would probably never have, a woman they could love, make a home, have kids and grow old with.
Charlie initiated the contact. Yet to this day Sam never knew how his email came into Charlie's' hands, and after the very first contact, he never cared enough to question it. He had shared with the hunter things he had not been able to share with Dean…things that were deep…personal…Jess…
A look of determination filled his face as he hit the reply button. He didn't think about their 'job' the only thing that was in his heart, on his mind was Charlie. His friend needed him, needed to know he wasn't alone, and Sam had a plan.
The message was brief and direct. He held his breath as he hit send. There was no way to know if his email buddy was still on line, no way to know if he would ever open the email. Sam could only hope and say a small prayer that he would.
Exhaling, his breath ruffled his bangs, and he shook his head for having not realized he had been holding it, then minimized the email account and reopened the document Bobby sent. All he could do now was stay focused on the job at hand. Tonight he would tell Dean, try to explain about Charlie, about why he never said anything.
Checking to make sure the printer wasn't in use, Sam hit print. As he rose to go to the printer a soft 'ping' came from his computer. He glanced down, noting there was more mail. His heart skipped a few beats but he didn't open it. Spider Creek documents THEN email.
There were priorities; he couldn't loose sight of them. They never knew where the enemy was, who it could be lurking in, and they didn't want to forewarn any enemy about their plans.
Sam smiled and nodded at the young girl that brushed against him as she headed towards the door. She blushed and gave him a shy smile then ducked her head "Sorry." She whispered softly, glancing briefly at the printer before moving on, looking back over her shoulder once she reached the exit, the embarrassment still in her doe shaped eyes.
The younger Winchester gave her a gentle smile and shrugged one shoulder. It was okay, his eyes flashed at her, to which she bowed her head again then flashed her own smile and turned back only to run straight into a solid chest.
"Of for goodness…" The girl muttered. Her eyes cast up to the man she had run into, another apology on her lips only to die as she met the most beautiful hazel eyes she had ever seen. The blush that had been fading sprung up brighter and deeper, as she stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck.
His hands were warm and firm where they held her arms, strong, but gentle at the same time.
"Hey, you okay?"
The deep voice broke the 'spell' and she ducked her head. "Sorry." She mumbled, and then stepped back. "Fine…I am fine.." She whispered then glanced over her shoulder at Sam, before looking back to Dean.
"Fine." She said again before scooting around him. "Sorry." The words fell from her lips as she quickly headed towards her own car, parked not far from the Impala.
Dean raised his eyebrows and shrugged. His expression as he looked over at his brother pulled a reluctant smile followed quickly by a disapproving frown. Dean ignored the frown.
"Whatcha got there." He greeted his brother.
"Where's the coffee?" Sam responded smoothly as he took the sheets off the printer and neatly folded them in half, before turning back to the computer.
"Thought you would rather go grab a bite to eat, it's close to supper time anyway." Dean responded as he followed Sam, his eyes lingering on the folded papers. "Diner across the street from the motel…"
He snatched the papers from his younger brother's hand with a cocky grin and took a step back. Sam just rolled his eyes as he sat down and reopened his mail program. "I am almost done here…" He trailed off glancing quickly at Dean.
His brother didn't notice. Dean was scanning the pages Bobby had sent, his focus not on Sam or the computer. The email was from Charlie. Taking a deep breath, Sam double clicked it then smiled, slowly.
This was an email he would print out. Day, time and location, the three things he needed to meet Charlie face to face.
Sam hit print, then closed down the email and logged off the session. He stood and draped an arm about Dean's shoulder as he not to subtly lead him back to the printer. "Dinner sounds great bro. In fact, I have a little story to tell you…."
"What doya want me to say Sammy?"
Their eyes clashed, both stubborn, one set filled with growing ire, the other with an apologetic determination that wasn't quiet as apologetic and the other felt they should be.
"For a frickin year you have had a secret pen-pal? A hunter no less?" Dean's voice lowered for the last part, but was no less hard and filled with the growing anger he felt. He leaned forward over the table as he stared into his baby brother's eyes.
"The next word's out of yer trap better be, I am sorry Dean."
"Sorry?" Sam snapped back. Not to be outdone, he leaned in until their noses were almost touching. "The only thing I have to be sorry about is havin a brother who is too blind and deaf to the potential…"
"Potential?"
Dean sat back with a laugh that wasn't a laugh. One hand played with the butter knife as the other was flung across the back of the vinyl booth they sat in. "Yeah, right, there's potential. A potential of getting our asses killed. You hooked up with a stranger …a frickin stranger for god's sake and spilled yer guts about…."
Disgust flickered across his face before he growled. "I thought you were the one so bent out of shape about dad and his 'secret's not tellin' us everything. If I remember right, you two were always at each others throat about that." He paused and his eyes narrowed.
"So whatcha just do to me for the past year Sammy boy? Whatcha do to me?"
The anger vanished as quickly as it had arisen and true apology filled his eyes as he stared at his older brother. "You're right Dean." Sam said softly his larger hand came out and settled on the blade of the butter knife his brother had been flipping over and over on the table.
The metallic click emphasizing his sibling's anxiety and …fear. Their fingers almost touched, almost. Dean's eyes dropped to the knife, his face becoming expressionless for a moment before looking up into Sam's face.
"I didn't mean to keep secrets….not any that would hurt you or get us killed." Sam said in that same quiet soft voice holding his brother's hazel eyes. "I can't explain to you…what I don't understand myself." He reached out and squeezed the back of his brother's hand then sat back and dropped his hand into his lap.
"I AM sorry for that Dean, but not for Charlie. I never told him about anything that could get us killed either. We didn't talk about hunts." He ignored the snort of disbelief Dean gave and pressed on. I am Not sorry for wanting to meet Charlie."
Sam leaned forward again, his expression open and earnest, reminding Dean of a younger Sam, a more innocent one. "He lost his brother, just like we lost dad. Charlie is hurting bad, alone..." He almost hated himself for what he was going to say next, almost.
"You can understand what that would feel like don't you bro? To be alone, lost, without family?" Sam flinched for his brother at his words.
Dean looked down at the hand that his brother hand 'hugged' refusing to give into the emotion that swamped him at those words, then looked back up at Sam. After another moment of silence he shook his head and sighed. "There's no talkin you out of this?" His expression didn't change when Sam shook his head no. "He isn't family Sam."
"He…..could be."
"No. He can't"
The flat unequivocal rejection told Sam it was time to back off. He won the first battle, they would go to New Harmony, Indiana and he would get to meet his on-line friend, confidant, and fellow hunter.
"Dean I don't even know if he would be interested. It's just an idea…Okay?" Sam said referring back to what had pissed his brother off, more so than the secret he had kept.
"Okay?" he repeated when Dean just stared at him.
"No, it's not okay." Dean responded quietly.
Whatever else he would have said was interrupted as the waitress brought their food over. Dean smiled up at her as he asked for a refill on his coffee then grinned when she asked what else she could get him.
Sam watched as the two flirted a bit, noting the ease with which Dean changed gears. Then lowered his eyes to his plate. No one would have guessed just moments before he had been ready to throw a punch at his brother, no one would know now, that this light hearted flirtatious mode covered deep feelings, feelings Dean rarely allowed to the surface.
"Stop analyzin. Eat."
Sam looked up in surprise. The waitress was gone and Dean was digging into his meal with gusto. "I figure it will take us a few days to get to New Harmony. How long did you say this pen-pal gave you?"
"A week… and his name is Charlie."
"Whatever. A few days then we head for Spider Creek."
Sam sighed and picked up his own fork. The meatloaf was surprising good, but even that didn't bring back his appetite. They ate the rest of their meal in silence, at least Dean did, he picked at his, lost in thought.
It wasn't the first time Sam asked for a doggie bag, it wouldn't be the last. He watched as Dean paid for the meal then followed him out of the diner. The traffic was light, in fact, almost non-existent. They didn't have to wait to cross the street to their motel. The only car's to be seen were parked ones.
Caution was inbred in both of them, through training and experience. It was second nature for Sam to look around the outside of the motel, down the street, seeing what was or wasn't there. Dean wasn't any different, he stopped and pulled the key out, a metal one, giving away the age of their 'home' then ran a hand down the side of the door knob, grunting with satisfaction as a small paper drifted slowly down to the ground.
He inserted the key, unlocked the door and swung it open. "I'll unpack the car." Was all that was said as he pressed the cool metal key into Sam's hand.
Sam sighed and entered the room, hitting the light switch as he did so. Two full size beds a dresser that had seen its better days and another door at the far end, which is figured led to the bathroom, made up where they would rest for the night. The two lamps on the one bedside table between the two beds flickered. It was clean; it didn't smell of sweat, cigarettes or sex, which was a plus as far as he was concerned.
"I got first dibs on the shower." Dean said as he entered. The large duffle bag was tossed on the bed nearest the door as he booted the door shut behind him.
"We can the laptop fixed in New Harmony." Sam offered as he rounded the first bed and sat down on the other, bouncing a little as he tested the mattress. "I mean, we can get a couple of jobs and in a few days have enough to get it fixed, so no more looking for internet café's"
Dean looked up from the duffle, in his hands a clean shirt and sweat pants. "We can do that in Spider Creek."
"Right. Spider Creek will have an electronics' shop."
"You don't know New Harmony will."
"It's bigger. Almost a city compared to .."
"Fine." Dean cut him off "I'll give you a week in New Harmony with your ….friend…" He grinned at Sam as he passed him and headed to the bathroom. That grin that said I can kick your ass every day and twice on Sunday's and not break a sweat. "A week Sammy, then you either marry your pen-pal or head out with me to Spider Creek."
Dark eyes watch the door close. Silently he listens to the words being spoken and then moves past, taking note of both men, weighing them before coming to a decision.