Title: Sinful Love
Author: MissReporter
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. And if by some miracle I did obtain ownership... lets just say I'd begin with one major character death :)
Chapter One : Friendship
Chloe Sullivan was exhausted, in more ways than one as she made the short walk from the student parking lot to her dorm room. The day had been long, and the ride back from Lex's mansion had seemed to drag on for hours. She usually enjoyed long rides, they always allowed her mind to wander, to contemplate decisions and ponder the constant idiosyncrasies of her life. But today Chloe had dreaded the long ride home, even before she entered the car. Storming out of the Luthor Mansion, she knew she would spend the entire ride replaying his cruel words. And the even crueler history between them.
Chloe slid the key card into the lock on her dorm door, hoping Lana would be out somewhere, anywhere but her dorm room. Knowing Lex, he would probably inform Lana of their confrontation, and knowing Lana, she would definitely be angry. She really wasn't in the mood for Lana's self righteous indignation, especially since Chloe was only looking out for her. She was her friend after all, even if Lana didn't particularly deserve it. Lana would never put that much concern in Chloe's well being, she just wasn't wired that way. In the end Lana would always look out for herself.
She would always play the victim, always be looking for love in all the wrong places and for that Chloe couldn't really blame her. Lana had been the victim, the fairy princess who had watched on as her parents perished in the meteor storm. She had let that one moment define her, unknowingly condemning herself to the life of a martyr.
There was nothing Chloe could do to Lana that would be worse than what she was doing to herself.
She pushed the door open and instead of facing an infuriated Lana, she saw a sheepish Clark waiting for her, sitting on her bed in the awkward grace that he always seemed to exude.
Chloe willed herself to smile, "Hey Clark, what are you doing here?"
Clark frowned, "Chloe you don't have to keep doing that."
Chloe kicked off her heals and took of her blazer, placing them both haphazardly in her closet. She walked over to her bed and seated herself next Clark. "Doing what?"
"Pretending that things are ok when they aren't."
Chloe smiled, this time it was genuine. "I'm sorry Clark, I guess I'm still getting used to the fact that you actually notice how I really feel these days."
Chloe mentally sighed.
The second the words left her mouth she regretted them; she could physically see him cringe, the guilt tarnishing in his ocean blue eyes.
"Chloe…"
"No Clark," Chloe cut in, "I'm just … not having the best day. I'm sorry. "
Clark began fidgeting with his hands, a telltale sign of his unease, there were some things that had always remained unspoken between the two, this was one of them.
"No Chloe maybe its about time we talk about this. Look I know I haven't always been the greatest friend…"
Chloe cut in again, suddenly the apology she'd been vying to hear for so long wasn't sounding so sweet. "Clark you've always been there for me when I've really needed you. And yah there were times when I felt like you were taking our friendship for granted but truth be told, I would have been hurt either way. I was in love with you Clark and you weren't, and it had more to do with that than our actual friendship. So I really don't want an apology."
She placed her hand over Clarks, in a gesture that spoke not of romantic innuendo but of intimate friendship. A friendship that Chloe treasured deeply.
Clark glanced down at the hand that was covering his own, causing him to momentarily consider Lana's hands for a moment. He remembered how fragile they had felt in his large hands. Chloe's hands felt different, they felt stronger, firmer, he had the distinct feeling that if Chloe ever fell down, she wouldn't need him to pull her back up. And for some reason, that terrified him.
"But of course if you still feel the need to make it up to me, I think we both know how you could do that." Chloe grinned, only catching a glimpse of the Kent's infamous smile as he blurred out the window, returning shortly with a latte and a muffin in hand.
Chloe took them both from Clark gratefully, "Did I mention that I love when you do that?"
Clark laughed at Chloe's delighted reaction, "Every single time."
Chloe pulled the covers off her bed and slipped in, already sipping her coffee. She placed her muffin on her bedside table, noticing a fluorescent sticky stuck to it. Sure enough it was a note from Lana explaining her absence.
"Spending the weekend at Nell's - Lana"
Chloe sighed, Lana had been spending a lot of time at Nell's recently.
"What was that?" Clark asked curiously when he noticed Chloe frowning at a piece of paper."
Chloe looked up, thought for a moment how Clark would handle the truth, and immediately dismissed the idea. Clark didn't deserve that kind of heart break, especially after everything he'd been through this year. A part of her was so incredibly angered by Lana's actions and another part of her truly believed Lana was doing this to seek some sort of poorly misguided sense of retribution. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Chloe smiled mildly, "Just a note from Lana, she's spending the weekend at Nell's."
It was obvious that just the thought of Lana came hand in hand with pain for Clark, the two had become like magnets, inseparable, if no one took the effort to pull them apart. But Clark put up a strong front.
"How is she?"
Chloe thought about how she would answer this and came up with something vague but equally true. "I think she's beginning to move on."
Clark nodded his head, "That's good."
Clark's pathetic attempt at indifference was almost too much for Chloe to bear; she changed the subject, hoping to ease some of his distress.
"Clarks how's your mother, I hear through the Daily Planet grape vine that she's doing pretty well with her Senate position."
"She is, it's a lot of work but I think it takes her mind off stuff you know and that's what she needs right now more than anything. She's really busy, late nights and stuff."
Chloe nodded, trying her best to reassure Clark. "You know if anyone can do it, its Martha Kent, that woman is without a doubt the strongest woman I know. She's practically superwoman."
That got Clark to smile.
Chloe did a mental happy dance.
And then he furrowed his brow in concentration as if he was remembering something, "You said you weren't having the best day, what happened?"
Chloe immediately shook her head, "Nothing a little Clark therapy couldn't fix."
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it."
Chloe nodded her head.
"Ok." Clark stood up and headed toward the window.
Chloe didn't want him to leave, didn't want him to have to go home to an empty house, a memory of his father at every turn.
"Wait Clark, why don't you spend the night?"
Clark raised an eyebrow at her.
This provoked an eye roll from Chloe, "I just meant that you might want some company. With your mother working I know it's just you at the farm."
"Chloe you don't have to do this, I'm a big boy I can handle being alone."
"Oh come on it'll be like when we were younger and we used to have those stupid sleepovers at the loft. I remember me, you and Pete would always have a competition to see who could stay awake the longest. And I, of course, being the city dweller that I am, always won. Why you guys even bothered is beyond me."
Clark began smiling in recollection. "I remember." He looked over at Chloe, and he thought back to his empty house, suddenly her offer was looking very appealing. He took another moment to consider and made up his mind.
"Alright give me a moment to get my sleeping bag."
Chloe laughed, "Clark you're not seriously considering sleeping on the floor."
Clark glanced over at Lana's bed, "I don't think that's really …"
Chloe caught onto Clarks train of thought, "Noo, that's not what I meant." She moved over and made some room on her bed for Clark. She pulled back the covers and motioned for him to come over.
Clark felt apprehensive, among other things.
"Don't worry Clark I won't jump your bones in the middle of the night if that's what you're worried about." Chloe cocked her head to one side, clearly enjoying herself while Clark reddened significantly.
"I wasn't even thinking that Chloe."
Chloe laughed playfully, "I know Clark I was joking, people do that occasionally."
Clark stared at her stoically, "I'm laughing on the inside."
Chloe laughed even more and Clarks rigid façade broke into a smile. He seated himself on the edge of the bed and pulled off his shoes. He unbuttoned his flannel shirt, revealing a blue t-shirt underneath.
From Chloe's sprawled position on the bed she had a clear view of his back. Through the thin material of his shirt she could just make out the lines of his back. She had the sudden urge to run her hands over them, to trace the lines on his back. Luckily the feeling quickly passed.
Clark positioned himself next to Chloe, leaving enough space not to cross any physical boundaries.
"Hi" Chloe said softly.
"Hey."
Both remained silent for a moment, basking in the relief of being with someone they trusted completely. Clark took Chloe in, from her slightly sleepy features, to the freckles on her shoulders. The camisole she wore, dipped slightly at the neckline and Clark tried to keep his eyes from slipping lower. All in all she looked, for lack of a better word, like Chloe, the one who had always made him, Clark, feel human. Her friendship at this point was like an IV drip, he felt like he needed it to survive.
Chloe snapped him out of his thoughtful reverie with her sleep laced voice. "Tell me a secret Clark."
Clark couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips. "Alright well I'm really an alien from a foreign planet called Krypton and I have super human abilities. That and I really love flannel."
Chloe whacked him playfully on the head, tousling his chocolaty brown hair. She let her fingers linger, playing with the curly short strands, "Something no one else knows."
Clark thought for a moment, a look of sobriety passing over his features, before turning into something resembling a pained smile, "I haven't visited my fathers grave since the funeral, and sometimes I pretend that he isn't really dead, that he's just on some extended holiday."
Something inside Chloe felt like it was breaking at Clark's words, hearing him speak about his father was difficult. What was even harder to take was the way he looked at her, like she could provide him with all the answers, like they were back at the Torch and he'd come to her with a problem. This was one time Chloe would never be able to give him an answer, when his pleading eyes silently asked her why, she could do nothing but give him soothing words and a shoulder to lean on.
Her hand moved from his hair to his face, letting her fingers gently caress his cheek. "Clark, the healing process doesn't come with a time line; you'll do things when you're ready. Not visiting your father's grave doesn't mean you love him any less or that he'll love you any less. And it's ok to pretend sometimes, we all pretend Clark, as long as you realize that this is a holiday that he is not coming back from."
"I ... you don't understand Chloe, it's so hard not having him here. What's the point of having all these powers if I couldn't even save the one person who really mattered?"
Another question Chloe didn't have the answer to.
Clark began shifting away from Chloe, but she wasn't going to let him keep all of it in again. She knew he needed to let it out, knew he desperately needed a release of some sort for his overwhelming frustration and pain. She pulled him back in, holding him in her firm grasp so he wouldn't move.
"Clark, Clark, look at me."
And he did, he looked at her, his eyes relaying nothing but a defeated sort of helplessness, an anguish too big for words.
She pulled him into an embrace and held him, held him as if he was the only thing left in the world. And he clung to her, shaking, holding back tears until finally he let go.
She held him while he cried, while the tears soaked through her top, running her hands up and down his back in an effort to calm him, whispering soothing words into his ear. She wanted to make this easier for him.
But knew she couldn't.
Eventually Clark stopped crying, but he didn't release his grip on Chloe, and neither did she. His head continued resting on her chest and Chloe continued gently caressing his back.
The night was still young.
Should I continue ?
