What if Fleur Delacour made it to the cup first? Made up by my brothers and I. We're really screwed.

Fleur's hand shot to the shiny blue cup. Suddenly she started spinning and jerking through space. She landed on hard ground.

She looked around, realizing she was in a graveyard.

Ugh, she thought. Zis durt will ruin my outfit...

Then, a huddled figure emerged from the shadows, clutching a bundle.

"So-Harry Potter," snickered Wormtail evily. "We meet again." Then he stopped an looked her over again.

"Harry? What happened to you? Did you get botox or something?"

"I am not 'Arry Potter," said Fleur indignantly, especially since he was cutting her arm with a knife. "I am Mees Fleur Delacour!"

"Oh," said Wormtail. "Well, you're hot. Wanna marry me?"

"Do not be seelly," laughed Fleur. "I cannot marry you."

"Why not?" asked Wormtail, slicing his hand off casually.

"Be'cause you already 'ave a bebby," she answered. " 'E ees a very ugly one, too."

"This is not my baby!" said Wormtail. "He is my Lord and Master!"

Fleur looked confused. "Your lord and Master ees a bebby?"

"No! He is the Dark Lord!" Wormtail cackled, throwing a bone in a pot with the hand and blood.

"But why ees ze Dark Lord a bebby?"

"Non, 'e is not a bebby-darn it, now you've got ME doing it, too!"

"Hurry up and throw me in the Goddamn pot, Wormtail!" shouted the forgotten bundle.

"Sorry, master," muttered Wormtail, chucking him into the pot with a SPLUSH.

"Zis ees getting too confusing for my leetle blond french brain," said Fleur. "I sink I'm going to throw up now." she vomited into the pot at the last second.

KA-BLAM! Went the pot. A curious Fleur peeked over the edge. A hand rose out, clutching a wand. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" said the newly risen dark lord.

She fell down, dead.

Voldemort stepped out of the pot, kicking Fleur's corpse as he did. "I am NOT a 'bebbe',

you idiot girl!"

He ran his hands across his scalp. Then he realized that, instead of being bald, like he should be, he was-BLONDE!

"Zat explains my sudden craving for escargot, and why I am speaking in a french accent," muttered the Dark Lord grimly.